“I see.” He read the file in front of him. “Mr. Hawkins, is that your intent?”
I cleared my throat. “Yes, sir, that is correct.”
“And you.” He pulled the glasses all the way to the point on his angular nose, addressing Julie. “You think Mr. Hawkins should have guardianship of Hunter?”
“Daddy—I-I, mean yes, your honor. I do. He has been able to provide a stable environment for him and nurtured his love of football.”
“I see.”
I looked at Julie to see if I could read her expression. Her father was a thin, wiry man. Not someone I’d meet on the street and call intimidating, but in here, he was one scary hell of a man.
He looked up from the paperwork. “I admire what you are doing with this, young man. I truly do. After reading your file, I think I can even understand why you are doing it, but I need to hear it from you. I need to hear you tell me that this is not going to be one of those things that sounds like a good idea, but then becomes too hard so you quit. Because I can tell you now that kid is going to be a hard shell to break. It’s not all going to be easy. Julie has been working with him for over a year, and half the time he still won’t even speak to her. He needs someone to go the extra distance with him, not bail halfway through.”
Judge Bristow waited for my response.
“I understand, your honor, and I won’t fail him. I know what he needs. I get this kid. I know what it is going to take and I am more than willing to go the extra mile.”
Julie’s father leaned back in his chair.
He spoke slowly and deliberately. “I’m glad you said that, because you won’t just get to take him home. There will be parenting classes to take and you will have a mediator that will need to be present especially at the beginning to oversee the transition for Hunter. He has been in foster care now for three years, so this is going to be a big change for him.”
I felt my pulse race. Shit. This was happening. “That is not a problem, sir. I have extra rooms at my home. I am more than happy to even open it and allow someone to stay there for a time while we all adjust if need be.” That would screw with my relationship with Julie for a while, but we’d make it worth it. Right now, we needed to make sure we could get Hunter out of the system.
“Julie?”
“Yes, your honor?” She sat tall in her seat. I noticed how conservatively she had dressed this morning.
“Would you be willing to take on the mediator role while Hunter continues to adjust?”
Her face broke into a smile. “Yes. Absolutely yes, sir.”
“All right. Then I need to speak to the boy and I’ll let you know my final decision.”
We exchanged looks. Julie squeezed my hand under the table.
My attorney nudged me. “We have to wait in the hall,” he whispered.
“Ah, gotcha.” We rose and waited in the hall.
I nodded at Savannah. The rest hinged on Hunter.
30
Julie
The minutes in the hallway felt like hours. Hawk couldn’t sit still. He paced from one end of the corridor to the other.
I felt the same way. As if at any moment I could crawl out of my skin, but instead I sat frozen like a damn statue. Afraid that if I moved I would somehow disrupt the balance of what was about to happen.
I trusted my father. I did. But he knew Hawk’s reputation. He knew everything he had done. Regardless of how hard he cheered for the Sharks on Sundays, my dad wasn’t going to hand over the safety of a child to this man just because he was a star. My dad was wise and fair. Deliberate and detailed.
I squeezed my hands together, praying that Hunter told him everything he wanted to hear in there. Hawk was great with him. Amazing even.
The door to the hearing room creaked open and Hawk and I both rushed to the entrance.
“You may proceed,” the bailiff announced.
I looked at Hawk, trying to reassure him when I was dangerously close to falling apart myself.
“It’s going to be ok.” He smiled.
We stepped inside the room and I stared at my father. I didn’t know whether he would ask Hunter to leave.
We all waited for what seemed like an eternity.
“This young man and I had a nice conversation.” My father grinned. “After speaking to all of the parties involved, I’ve decided it is in the best interest of the child in question to be placed in the temporary custody of Mr. Kane Hawkins.”
I almost squealed.
My dad wasn’t finished. “I want to remind you all that this is only a temporary custody hearing. There is another process for adoption, if that is the path you wish to pursue.”
We nodded.
“We will re-convene in forty-five days to assess how the situation suits everyone and how custody should be handled at that point.”
Fort-five days? That put us on the other side of Christmas. I was beaming from the inside out. It was the biggest gift he could have given me and we didn’t even have a tree yet.
My mind raced. Was this happening? Were we an instant family? Would Hawk want all those things too? The stockings by the fireplace? Garland and a big tree? Surprises for Hunter? What did that mean for us? I knew Hawk wasn’t a one-woman man. But standing next to him, I felt like the only woman in his world.
I needed to slow down and at least make it out of the hearing room.
“Mr. Hawkins, are you up for the task?”
“Yes, your honor. I am. A hundred percent.” Hawk sounded confident.
“Then, this matter is settled.” My father smiled at us both. “Dismissed.”
The attorneys gathered their paperwork, but I rushed around the long table and onto the bench where I hugged my father harder than I ever had. His nylon robe scratched my face, but I didn’t care. I inhaled that Old Spice scent and sobbed into his shoulder.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart, but you know you have a long road ahead of you.”
“I do. But it’s worth it. Do we get to take him home now?”
“Of course, but the attorneys have to have final signatures from the group home. They should work that out for you.”
I looked over my shoulder when I saw my father’s eyes shift.
Hawk approached the bench, extending his hand.
“I wanted to thank you, sir.”
My father returned the handshake. “Son, you have taken on the biggest responsibility of your life.”
Hawk nodded. “I know.”
“And I’m not talking about the child.”
There was a knowing look between the two men. I thought I might not be able to breathe. They were talking about me this time. When was the last time my father had met someone I was dating? I didn’t take guys home to meet him unless it was serious. It always seemed as if it wouldn’t be fair to introduce him to someone only to have the relationship disintegrate a few months later. He had been through so much when he lost my mother.
“Got it.”
I watched the two of them exchange looks that meant something to them. From one man to another.
I put my hands on my hips. I wasn’t a piece of dowry property to be handed over. “Ok. Let’s go, Hawk.” I tugged on his arm. “Daddy, I’ll call you later.”
I pecked him on the cheek. Hunter was waiting for us at the door.
He looked up with innocent eyes. “Where do I live now? Are you taking me to the group home?”
I wanted to tell him, but Hawk was the one who had made this happen. I couldn’t take credit for something I’d never been able to do. I had tried. I had cried. But I couldn’t give this to Hunter—Hawk did.
He stooped down to the floor to speak to Hunter directly. His knees grazed the hardwood. “You get to go home with me. How does that sound?”
I knew it was shock and disbelief that kept Hunter from making a sound. He stared at Hawk. I moved to the floor.
“Honey, it’s a lot to take in, but you get to live with Kane now. Isn’t that g
ood news?”
“Really?” His voice was small, but I was relieved he had finally spoken.
“Really. How about we head over there now and you can pick out your room?” Hawk offered.
“My own room?”
I tried to keep the tears from rushing forward. This poor sweet child. I doubted he had ever had anything of his own that he could remember.
Hawk rose from the floor, offering me his hand. “Let’s get out of here. We have a lot to talk about.”
My fingers fit through his perfectly. I sighed.
And that’s how we left the courthouse. Hand in hand. Taking Hunter home.
31
Kane
Forty-five minutes later we were staring at each other inside my loft apartment. Hunter didn’t have anything to bring with him except a torn backpack full of clothes that were too small for his growing frame.
I knew that was the first thing we had to take care of. Well, that and then I needed to order some groceries. It wasn’t like I was stocked to take care of a kid. I had plenty of beer, but I was pretty sure I was supposed to have shit like juice and milk.
Hunter walked back and forth between the downstairs guestroom and the one that was at the top of the loft.
I didn’t push him toward one room. Neither did Julie. He was probably compiling his own reasons why each room should be his.
He inspected the closets, the bathroom space, and looked under the beds. We stood back while he investigated each one.
“Hey, bud. You don’t have to choose one right now. You can take some time and sleep in each one if you want,” I offered.
He ignored me and walked back and forth, running up the stairs, counting under his breath.
“I think he needs his own space,” Julie whispered. “He needs something that feels permanent even if he’s too young to be able to put that in words.”
“Makes sense,” I agreed.
Finally, he made an announcement. “I want the upstairs room.”
“It’s yours.” I found some sort of triumph in that. I had given this kid something. I didn’t know I was capable of giving anything, but the last few weeks had changed that.
Hunter had changed it. Julie had changed it. The bastard who only looked out for himself was suddenly looking out for other people.
The boy took the sack of ragged clothes, ran up the stairs, and started pulling open dresser drawers in one of the chests. Everything was stained or torn. It only took three drawers before the bag was empty. Julie was by my side.
I scratched the back of my head. “What do you say we do some shopping today before I head to practice?”
“Shopping?” Hunted looked more confused than I had ever seen him.
“Yeah. Thought we could fill up that empty closet and dresser with some more clothes. Stuff you can pick out yourself. What do you think?”
I turned when I heard the gasp from Julie.
Did she really think I would let the poor kid walk out of my house dressed like that? I didn’t care what he wore, but I could feel his unease coming off of him in waves. The poor thing was terrified of someone making fun of him or being judged. I’d be damned if I didn’t do anything and everything in my power to make sure that didn’t happen.
Ever again.
She sprang tears more often than a cloud in the middle of April, but fuck if she wasn’t the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my whole fucking life—even when tears flowed from her eyes, or hell maybe because of it. The wetness made her already brilliant eyes sparkle and shine like sapphires.
I wanted to drown in them.
And every single fucking time her bottom lip quivered, it took every damn thing inside of me not to lean forward and capture it between my teeth. I wanted to kiss away all of her pain and then I wanted to bind her to my bed and make her ache in ways she’d never dreamed of before.
Fuck.
What was this chick doing to me?
32
Julie
“Everyone, ready?” Hawk asked, entering the living room.
I could tell Hunter felt out of place, and I wished there was something I could do to help him feel more at home. But the sad fact was that it was going to take all of us time to adjust. This was a huge change for everyone.
I hadn’t processed what this meant for my relationship with Hunter. And I hadn’t even let myself realize what this meant for Hawk and me. We were in this thing together. Co-parenting? Dating? I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“Yeah I’m starving, how about you, Hunter?” I asked. Hawk and I decided we should get some lunch while we were out shopping.
“Kinda,” he answered, glancing down at the ground.
“Come on,” Hawk prodded. “We’ll get some food and your choice of clothes. I’m driving.” He snatched the keys from the table near the front door.
My heart felt as if it could literally cry right this moment. Every single time I doubted this man and his ability to care for this beautiful little boy he proved me wrong. I glanced back at Hunter and watched as hope lit his eyes. I wondered how long it has been since someone has taken him shopping.
How long had it been since someone bought him a pair of shoes and didn’t just pass along someone else’s hand me downs?
How long since he had underwear and socks that fit his body?
Hunter and I followed Hawk to the elevator and down to the parking garage where his car was parked. I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the things that had happened in the past few weeks. How I had gone from not having any hope to having so much hope it was overwhelming. And yet, I was nervous.
Hawk shuttled us both inside the car.
I was nervous that he wouldn’t get custody. Nervous this was only a dream. Nervous he’d break my heart. That this wasn’t the real man—it was only a temporary fix for the playboy I had met.
I wasn’t a pessimistic person—far from it, but teaching kids who came from nothing, who had nothing, shone a spotlight on the injustice and pain in this world. It was hard to ignore that some of that pain had rooted itself in my heart.
“And ice cream? What about that?” he called to Hunter in the backseat.
“I love ice cream.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wiped at them furiously, not wanting the man in the driver’s seat to see the effect his simple gesture had on me, but he noticed and in the act of a true gentleman he reached into his glove compartment and pulled out a hankie, passing it to me to wipe my eyes.
“Thank you,” I said. We both knew I didn’t just mean for the handkerchief.
“Of course.” He replied.
After today, my heart and my head were going to have to have a serious talk. Everything this man was and everything he did had me so twisted in knots I didn’t know if I was coming or going. One minute I wanted to murder him and the next I want to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest.
Hawk kept a baseball hat pressed around the frame of his face. It was comical if he thought that was some kind of disguise. The man was huge and anyone within five feet of him would immediately recognize him—especially women.
It didn’t help that every five minutes there was a story about the Sharks on the news. The city was taking the playoffs bid to epic proportions. His fame and popularity was out of control.
The mall was decorated with Christmas trees and hanging snowflakes in every corner. Hawk trudged forward to one of the shoe stores. I rolled my eyes when I saw it was all athletic shoes. I would have gone with shirts and pants first, but I wasn’t the one leading the shopping expedition.
He pointed to a wall of shoes. “Pick any that you want. You can buy all of them if you want.” He grinned widely.
I tugged on his arm, pulling him away from an awestruck Hunter.
“What’s wrong?”
I spoke softly. “Balance. He needs some balance. He can’t go from having nothing to having everything.”
“I just want him to be happy. His life has sucked for so long.�
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“I know it has.” I wanted to reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and draw his lips to mine. I was melting on the spot. Did he have any idea how adorable he was being? “But you have to act like a parent, not an uncle. There’s a difference.”
“Shit,” he muttered. “Ok. Got it.”
He walked back over to Hunter. “Bud, listen. Pick your favorite five. That’s all we can get today.”
Hawk looked at me for approval. I let a giggle slip. “Five?”
He shrugged. I realized it was going to take a while for any of us to have balance.
Hunter fell asleep on the way home from the mall. The day had taken its toll on him, and he couldn’t keep his eyes open any more. He looked peaceful and relaxed sleeping in the backseat. It was hard to imagine anyone not wanting to love him.
“Thank you.” I broke the silence in the car. Hawk glanced over at me like I had grown two heads or something.
“For what?” he asked, looking back to the road.
“For taking a chance on him and looking past the outside.”
I could tell he didn’t know what to say or how to respond to that comment so he changed the subject.
“Yeah, so I have practice tonight. I don’t know when I’ll be home.”
“What? But it’s his first night here. I mean his first official night,” I blurted out.
“It’s the playoffs, baby. I don’t have a choice.”
I crossed my arms. “So I’m just in charge of dinner and getting him to bed and all of that?”
“I thought you liked all that shit.”
I glared at him. “I do, but you’re the one who wanted to adopt him. Do you really know what that means?” I tried to keep my voice low in case the child woke up. I didn’t want him to hear us argue about him.
“I don’t know what any of it means.” His words shocked me at first, but I realized how honest he was being with me. “That’s why I need you.”
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