Endless: Violet Eden Chapters: Book Four

by Jessica Shirvington

  I knew it was Lincoln’s reflection – his soul. My body ached to reach out to him.

  It shone brightly as it floated down to me from above. I waited patiently, concentrating on keeping my focus on him and nothing else, making sure I continued to act as a homing beacon for him. And he came for me, sure and straight.

  My falling star.

  Eventually, he hovered right above me. My face tilted up towards his reflection – a mere disturbance in the air – and I closed my eyes briefly to draw in his presence. I felt it … the sun. Even in the darkness, the nothingness, he was still the sun.

  He waited, moving around the edges of my face as if trying to caress me, as if worried for me.

  I could barely take it. I had to bring him into me. I let go of everything that held me together. I cut the last thin ties that guarded what was left of my heart and I gave it to him.

  As I screamed in agony, Lincoln’s soul poured into me.

  The moment I had him, I was falling again.

  The next thing I knew, I was in Spence’s arms. He was carrying me through the woods.

  ‘You okay?’ he asked as I blinked.

  No. I wasn’t.

  ‘Vi?’

  He shifted me in his hold and I heard a beep. We were at the car.

  I swallowed through a dry throat. ‘How long?’

  ‘You’ve been out of it for about twenty minutes. I made it down the mountain and you were already there, where you told me to go. Fell with a thump, too.’

  He opened the passenger door and sat me in the car, then grabbed a bottle of water from the back seat and twisted the top, passing it to me.

  I took a sip. ‘We need to go,’ I said.

  ‘Where?’ Spence was looking around, no idea what to expect.

  ‘Back to Lincoln’s.’ I turned to the front and dropped my face in my hands. Gradually, all the things I’d pushed aside were coming back and it hurt. Overwhelmed, I let out a moan.

  ‘Jesus, Vi, what the hell happened to you out there?’

  I shook my head, bracing a hand on the dashboard. ‘We have to go,’ I gritted out.

  But Spence wasn’t having it. ‘Come on, Vi, you gotta give me more than that. Griff’s gonna have my ass on a platter for this. What happened?’

  I shook my head again. ‘Please, Spence,’ I begged, because every word – every second – hurt, and would for the rest of my life, but I had to put this one thing right. And having Lincoln’s soul so close to me – in me – where it had once belonged … I could barely hold myself together.

  Spence shifted from one foot to the other. ‘Okay, Eden, we’re going, we’re going.’ He jumped into the driver’s seat and we took off while he mumbled something very imaginative about exactly what he suspected Griffin was going to do to his ass.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  ‘What shall a man give in exchange for his soul?’

  Mark 8:37

  when Spence and I walked back into Lincoln’s apartment, everyone was there. Even Onyx.

  They watched me, barely breathing as I made my way to Lincoln’s room. When I didn’t close the door behind me they seemed to take it as an invitation and followed. I didn’t mind. I had no idea what was about to happen and I might need them.

  Griffin pulled Spence into the corner of the room and started demanding answers. Spence stuttered a series of defences that began with, ‘Don’t blame me,’ and finished with ‘I don’t know.’

  Onyx and Dapper stayed at the back of the room with Zoe and Salvatore. Steph came up behind me. ‘We’re here for you, Vi. Whatever you need. We’re here,’ she said.

  They thought I had come back to finish things. They were wrong, but I suppose in other ways … they were right.

  I turned to face Steph and she gasped.

  ‘What?’ I asked.

  ‘Your eyes; they’re green!’

  I just stared at her, unwilling to fully contemplate what she was saying.

  ‘They’re not mine,’ I said, eventually, turning back to the bed where Lincoln lay.

  ‘Well, whose the hell are they?’ Steph shouted, her voice high-pitched.

  I didn’t reply. Instead, I leaned down, knowing what I had to do. ‘It’s always a kiss,’ I mumbled. And then I pressed my lips to his and let him go.

  As I kissed him, his soul broke free. It was so painful, as though my very insides were torn away as it leaped from my body and back into its rightful owner. I screamed into his mouth, but I stayed there, forcing myself to keep going, to keep pushing his soul from me until it was all gone.

  The moment I knew it was done, I sank to the ground, gasping for air.

  Steph dropped beside me. Her hands were shaking as they clung to me. ‘Vi, what was that?’

  ‘Eyes are the window to the soul,’ Dapper said from the doorway. ‘The girl went and found his soul. Insane as those damn exiles. She should be dead.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Griffin pushed. ‘Lincoln?’

  Dapper grunted, as Steph held me tight, trying to calm my shakes.

  ‘Ask her yourself, but I’m betting she just pulled off something only the likes of her could do.’

  Griffin crouched in front of me. ‘Violet, is Dapper right? Did you …’ But he couldn’t finish the sentence. Lincoln was his best friend and I knew he blamed himself on some level for telling us to run that day, felt responsible that he hadn’t been there in the end.

  I looked up at Steph and saw her sharp intake of breath; my eyes were back to normal. Not that I needed her reaction to tell me that, I could already feel the change. The emptiness in me had returned and I could feel a presence I hadn’t felt in weeks.

  Griffin watched me anxiously.

  ‘He’s back,’ I said.

  We could have heard a pin drop. No one knew what to say. Perhaps they thought I’d finally lost it completely and was having delusions. Maybe they thought it was too good to be true.

  But not Griffin. He stared right at me. He was a truth seeker; he knew what I said was right. I suspected he simply couldn’t talk. Instead he pulled me from Steph’s arms and into his.

  ‘You’re a miracle.’

  I was stiff in his arms. Just like with everyone else … I couldn’t. Gradually, I wriggled away from him.

  ‘Phoenix said it will take a few days for him to recover.’ I stood up, still shaky on my feet, though I tried not to show it. I looked at the floor, avoiding the bewildered gazes.

  ‘Phoenix?’ Griffin repeated, shock rippling through the group again.

  I nodded. ‘Phoenix is an angel.’

  ‘Well, that figures,’ Onyx snorted. ‘Redemption, that sly bitch.’

  Everyone ignored him.

  ‘I’ll be staying here until he wakes up. Phoenix said it would be safest that way since I was the one who brought him back.’ I pressed my lips together.

  Griffin nodded. ‘We’ll bring in a mattress and get you settled.’

  I shook my head. ‘A pillow and the chair will be fine.’

  Griffin nodded, running his hands through his hair. ‘Everything is going to be okay,’ he said, relief flooding his face.

  I gave a sorry attempt at a smile.

  Gradually, when they realised I wasn’t going to be telling any more of my story everyone filtered out. Steph and Spence were the last ones to leave. Spence didn’t bother trying to hug me – he knew I wasn’t capable. Instead, he got right to the point.

  ‘Eden, you reckon since you could bring Lincoln’s soul back that you might … Do you think you could find Nyla?’

  I had known this question would come up from the moment I considered that this might work. I just didn’t know who would be the one to ask. I was sorry it had to be Spence.

  ‘If I thought there was any chance, I would. But it was only because of our …’ Love. ‘Connection, that I was able to find him. There were thousands, millions, out there. They go on forever.’ I looked down and shook my head. ‘I’m sorry, Spence.’

  He put his hands in his pocke
ts, shrugging to try and hide his disappointment. ‘Yeah. Figured that might be the case, just thought I’d ask.’

  I nodded. ‘You’re off to find your partner soon, aren’t you?’ I asked, keen to change the subject.

  He smiled. ‘Yep. Can you believe it – I’ll finally be able to stop relying on you to fix me every time I’m hurt. Griff says we’ll start tracking her down in a couple of weeks. You never know, maybe things are starting to look up.’

  I wished it were true. ‘You never know.’

  After Spence left, Steph stayed with me for a while. I appreciated the distraction. Even though I knew I would be in this room for the next few days, I wasn’t ready to be alone with Lincoln yet.

  ‘You’re strong, you know that?’ Steph said.

  ‘I know,’ I replied.

  ‘You can get through this. What happened, it was … And you had to survive when everyone around you …’

  Died. Left.

  I nodded. ‘It’s okay, Steph.’

  ‘Are you ever going to let me back in?’

  I looked at her properly; her lower lip was trembling, her eyes had dark rings around them. She had been keeping vigil over Lincoln since I had not been able to. She’d been there for me and she was exhausted.

  ‘You’re my best friend, Steph. You’ll always be my best friend, but …’

  ‘You’re doing what you have to do to survive?’ she finished.

  ‘Yeah.’

  She grabbed my hand and squeezed. ‘Just know that I’m here. I’ll always be here.’

  I swallowed and tried to think of something else to say. ‘So you and Salvatore are going well? Does he know what he’s going to do next?’

  She shrugged. ‘Not really. But for now, he and Zoe are going to stay in the city and help Griffin out.’

  I nodded. ‘Have Dapper and Onyx been here a lot?’

  ‘Yeah, they’re in and out. Dapper brings food and Onyx brings … Well, nothing, but he comes. I think that’s the most he can manage.’

  I sat in my chair and cuddled the pillow. ‘You know he could’ve become an exile again. Lilith offered him everything and he turned her down.’

  She wasn’t surprised. ‘What can I say? He’s one of those moves-in-mysterious-ways types.’

  I actually felt the corner of my mouth twitch. ‘He is.’

  Steph raised an eyebrow. ‘Hey, do you think … I mean, have you noticed how Dapper and Onyx are always together and how they fight but don’t at the same time?’

  I nodded, remembering having the same conversation with Lincoln. ‘Yep. Totally together.’

  ‘They’re a good match,’ Steph said, approvingly. She looked at Lincoln and back to me. ‘He’ll be okay. I can feel it.’

  ‘I know he will,’ I replied. ‘I can feel it, too.’

  After Steph left, I settled into the chair and tried to sleep. I failed and eventually had to look at him. I leaned forward, putting my face close to his, and reached forwards, my hand shaking as my fingers skimmed his hair. His chest moved up and down and when my hand touched him, his breathing became faster, just like mine.

  ‘I can feel you,’ I whispered. ‘I know you’re back.’

  I inhaled his scent, letting everything about him surround me, his warmth building. Sun and honey. I breathed out, resting my head beside him. I slept a blissful, dreamless sleep.

  The next morning Evelyn was in the room, too, clearly waiting for me to wake up.

  I sat up and rubbed my eyes, moving away from Lincoln, who seemed to have moved closer during the night.

  ‘We heard what you did,’ she said.

  ‘Is Dad pissed?’ I asked.

  ‘Yep. But he’s also doing that thing he does when you do something he’s proud of.’

  I nodded, understanding. Dad had a signature proud-tobe-Dad smile that went with a particularly cocky walk.

  ‘It seems collecting Lincoln’s soul isn’t the only thing you’ve been up to,’ she added raising an eyebrow. ‘I had a visit last night. I’d almost forgotten how intimidating your angel maker is.’

  I shrugged. ‘He grows on you.’

  ‘Hmm,’ she said, moving to the edge of the bed and sitting opposite me. ‘He’s offered me a choice and since I’m fairly certain you opened up the opportunity for me, I wanted to ask you what you thought before I make a decision.’

  I leaned towards her, taking her hands in mine. ‘Mum, do you know what you want to do?’

  She froze. Her eyes welled.

  ‘What?’ I asked, worried.

  She shook her head. ‘It’s just … That’s the first time you’ve called me Mum.’

  I sighed. ‘It shouldn’t have taken me so long.’

  She pulled me into a hug. I tried to hug her back, I really did, but I just couldn’t.

  She eased back, studying me carefully. ‘If I do this, I won’t be Grigori any more. And we might have to move away.’

  I nodded. There were no surprises there. ‘If you know what you want, and if Dad wants it too, just do it. You don’t need my permission.’

  She smiled and nodded. ‘Okay.’ She glanced at Lincoln. ‘And what about you? What are we going to do with you, my girl?’

  I bit down on my lip. ‘Actually, I wanted to talk to you and Dad about that.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Yeah. I’ve made a decision.’

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  ‘I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.’

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  For the next two days I sat in the chair, leaving Lincoln only to shower and make the occasional phone call. On the third day, Dapper came to see me, after I had asked him to drop by.

  I could feel that Lincoln was getting stronger. I knew he would wake up soon.

  I knew something else, too. Our souls were no longer joined. We were still soulmates – the familiar tug had returned instantly, combining with the coldness I imagined would now be with me forever – but the connection we’d made in the cabin … Gone.

  ‘Why do I suspect this is a business call?’ Dapper asked as he entered the room.

  I stood up and closed the door behind him. ‘Because it is.’

  He grunted. ‘And why do I have a feeling I know where this is leading?’

  ‘Because you probably do,’ I admitted.

  He sighed and leaned on the windowsill.

  ‘You said once that you owed me a favour.’

  ‘I remember.’

  ‘And you said not to talk to you about it again until I was ready to collect.’

  ‘Mighta said something like that.’

  I nodded. ‘I’m ready to collect.’

  After Dapper left – unhappy but with our debt settled – I sat back down in my chair and waited. Sure enough, that afternoon, Lincoln started to become restless and at 4 p.m. I could tell he was ready to wake up.

  I stood over him, ran my fingers through his hair and leaned down.

  ‘I love you,’ I whispered.

  He made a sound that ran through my body and reminded me of all the things we had shared.

  I turned and left the room, going out to the living area, where everyone was waiting. They all looked up like expectant meerkats when they saw me. I half smiled.

  ‘He’s waking up.’

  Griffin jumped to his feet, the rest of the squad behind him. They smiled and laughed and ran into Lincoln’s room, leaving me alone.

  I loved Lincoln’s warehouse. In many ways it had become my home, too. I looked up to the enormous arched windows that were at either end. Afternoon sun flooded through them, drenching the space. It was beautiful.

  Walking over to the kitchen, I ran my hand along the breakfast bar, remembering all the times I’d sat there eating food Lincoln had prepared for me, while listening to his advice and hanging off every word. I closed my eyes and imagined the smell of basil – how much he loved to cook with it.

  I stopped by my wall, still covered by the drop-sheet. I left it w
here it was. The image beneath now seemed so naive.

  I found a notepad and pen and wrote a few words, leaving the folded piece of paper on the dining table.

  I could hear everyone moving about, the occasional cheer. He was awake and I could sense that he was looking for me.

  Before I could stop myself I made my way to the front door. I had it halfway open when Steph ran down the hall.

  ‘Hey, Vi. Lincoln’s asking for–’ She broke off when she saw me. ‘You’re … leaving?’

  I couldn’t talk. I just looked at her, trying to explain somehow without words that I couldn’t possibly stay knowing everything I now did, having gone through everything I had gone through.

  People had made sacrifices and died. For me. Because of me. I couldn’t stay and watch those I cared about most continue to make choices that put me first. I had made promises to my angel maker and I knew he’d hold me to them. But the only way I could do that would be alone, where the danger and consequences of my choices would be my own.

  And the simple truth was, I couldn’t face him. Lincoln was back and now he had a chance to live. I wanted that for him – I certainly didn’t bring him back just so he could die defending me. The only chance for his survival would be to be apart from me, and the only chance for mine would be to finally – completely – embrace the Grigori I am.

  Steph stood frozen, staring back at me until her shoulders dropped and the tears started to fall down her cheeks. ‘But you can’t,’ she whispered.

  I cleared my throat. ‘I left a note. Will you give it to him?’

  She nodded as she cried and sniffed. ‘Will you call me? Please, Vi, promise me you will call me.’

  ‘He can never know where I am.’ Because despite what I had decided, Lincoln would come for me if he knew where I was. He wouldn’t accept this. We were partners. As far as he was concerned, like it or not, that meant we were together.

  Steph shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t tell if that’s what you wanted. Just promise you will stay in touch. Please, Vi. You’re my best friend.’

  I looked down. I should have said no to her. But I found myself nodding. ‘When I get settled, I’ll call you with my new number.’ I gripped the door. ‘I have to go.’