Seeing her about to cry was making me tear up. “You’re not ruining it.” I wiped the corner of my eye.
“You know you’re the most important thing to me, right?”
“I know.”
“Good,” she said. “Now, let’s go decorate a gingerbread house.”
“You need your sleep. It’s not a big deal. You don’t have to,” I told her.
“But I want to.” She stood up. “Let’s go.” Then she took my hands and pulled me to my feet and into a big bear hug. “I love you, sweetie.”
I squeezed her back. “I love you, too.”
“We don’t have a lot of time this Christmas, but we can make the most of what we have.” She led me to the dining room. “Now let’s see if we can top last year’s creation.”
And as we piled on one piece of candy after another, I got a slight taste of what I’d been missing all season, and it was just what I wanted.
The only problem was—I craved more.
Nineteen
I dropped off the cookies for Teo in his homeroom, but I wasn’t sure if he tried them or even got them. I waited for him after history, but he didn’t walk in my direction. The same thing happened yesterday, and ever since football ended, he seemed to be bolting out of school at the end of the day. He was probably volunteering more now, which was great, but that made it harder to catch him. Other than a quick glance and wave on my way to English yesterday, I hadn’t seen him at all, and I was getting antsy. We hadn’t spoken since the diner. Sure, he gave me the flower, but I needed face time.
It made the tree decorating at J.D.’s even more crucial.
He called it for 6:30, and I, of course, was right on time, yet I didn’t go in. I parked in front of Morgan’s and just sat there watching the minutes on my phone pass by. 6:31. 6:32. 6:33. It killed me not to get out of the car and go ring the doorbell. I hated being late; the idea alone made me feel a little nauseous, and intentionally doing it was ten times worse. But Teo hadn’t shown up yet. Neither had Morgan and Ira. They weren’t getting there until closer to 7:30. It was the first night of Hanukkah, and they were lighting candles and opening presents with their families first. The idea of being alone with just J.D. and his parents seemed weird. Yet when the time read 6:35, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to go in. Being late was rude, and I made such a big deal about the importance of punctuality with J.D. that I had no choice.
I braced myself as I rang the doorbell. I could do this. I’d been through worse.
J.D. opened the door, and if he noticed I was late, he didn’t say anything. “Hey, come in.” “A Holly Jolly Christmas” was playing over a little speaker on the mantel, and a fire was burning in the fireplace. It had a really nice feel. J.D. pointed to the couple trying to unknot a strand of lights. “Those are my parents.”
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi,” Mr. Ortiz answered back.
“You must be Charlie,” Mrs. Ortiz said, dropping the lights and coming over to greet me. “We’re glad you could come. J.D. has told us a lot about you.”
His cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “All bad, I assure you,” he said.
Mrs. Ortiz gave him a loving squeeze on his shoulder and then shifted her focus back to me. “We hear you’re the coeditor of the paper and top of your class. Sounds very impressive.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“And are you—”
A timer went off in the kitchen.
Mrs. Ortiz turned to her husband. “Honey, will you go check on that?”
“Why don’t we both go,” he answered, “and give the kids some time alone.”
Time alone? I certainly hoped his parents didn’t think this was a date or that J.D. and I were into each other. He was not the guy I wanted to be linked to.
While I was worrying that the Ortizes—and ultimately Teo—would get the wrong idea, J.D. actually looked relieved his dad was steering his mom away from me. Mr. Ortiz handed J.D. the Christmas lights. “Why don’t you and Charlie work on these?”
Ugh. I needed to amend my statement about loving to decorate Christmas trees. I loved the actual decorating part, but the dealing with knotted wire—not so much. But I wasn’t going to say anything.
“Sorry,” he said, giving me one end of the lights, “my mom loves meeting my friends.” Friends? Well, I was over at his house. I guess his mom wouldn’t assume that her son and I couldn’t stand each other a good chunk of the time.
“She’s really nice,” I said.
“Yeah. Well, I hope you are prepared to eat,” J.D. continued. “Both my parents like to feed people when they come over, and I think they may be going a little overboard.”
“Morgan and her family are the same way. My mom and I are more takeout experts.”
For the next five minutes, J.D. and I attempted to detangle the lights in silence. Then we were forced to work together. “I think your end needs to go through mine. Here,” he said, showing me a big loop. “Walk through this.”
“That will just twist it in another direction,” I protested.
“Just try it.”
“Fine.”
I did and guess what? I was right. “See?”
“No, we’re okay. I just need to go this way.” He moved around me to the left and pulled the strand of lights through another loop. “And now you need to go that way.”
“That makes no sense,” I said. “I’d be better off going the other direction and putting my end through there.” Before I knew it, he was going one way and I was going the other, and we were tangled up like in a bad game of Twister, only standing and wrapped in lights.
I was so close to J.D., I could smell him. A combination of shampoo, dryer sheets, Christmas tree, and boy. I cursed myself for taking a second whiff. Why would I try and smell J.D.? What is wrong with me?
“Get us out of here,” I said, and he circled one more time, only instead of freeing me from this mess, he brought me face-to-face with him. Well, my face to his chest. He was a head taller than I am.
If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he did it on purpose.
I put my hands up to push him away. Oh. His abs were a lot harder than I imagined. Stop it, Charlie. Move your hands off him. Eww. Why would you linger? The Christmas music was clearly affecting my brain. I tilted my head up, and our eyes latched. I quickly looked away and took a step back, as I made myself shove him away.
He spun back in the other direction, and I could feel myself letting out a sigh of relief.
“Okay,” he said, lifting some lights over his head and freeing himself, “maybe your way was right.”
Just then there was a light knock at the door, and Teo and his brother walked in.
J.D.’s parents heard them and came out. “If it isn’t my favorite nephews,” Mrs. Ortiz said and gave them both a big hug. J.D. went over and clasped hands with Teo and then turned to his brother, who couldn’t have been more than six. “Dylaaan,” J.D. called out, and he picked up the little boy and spun him through the air as he laughed.
Teo came over to me. He looked so good. He was wearing a dark-red sweater. It was definitely his color. Although any color would have been amazing on him. I tried to keep my breathing in check. Don’t get flustered. But of course he had to walk in while I was draped in Christmas lights. “Looks like you could use some help.”
“Maybe a little,” I admitted.
He unwrapped the wire from around me and within a couple of minutes had the whole thing unknotted. It figured. The guy I didn’t want, I wound up tied to, while the one I would have loved to be roped together with had no issues untangling the lights. Although, I couldn’t say I was surprised. Teo was at the top of the class at everything.
“Thanks,” I said.
“We have a ton of food to snack on,” Mr. Ortiz said. “We’ll bring it out here, and then we can get started on the tree. Sound like a plan?”
We all nodded.
“And, Teo, I have your favorite for dessert,” Mrs. Ortiz sa
id and then turned toward Dylan. “Want to come help your uncle and me bring out dinner?”
Once they left, Teo slapped J.D. on the back. “The eighties music was a pretty big giveaway, but Aunt Jackie’s cookies this morning? I knew you were my Secret Santa. Those cookies were seriously good.”
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.
I should have known this would happen. Of course Teo would think that J.D. was giving him the gifts. Who else would know that much about him?
“Shh,” J.D. warned him. “Don’t let my mom hear you calling those your favorite. She didn’t make Aunt Jackie’s cookies. She made buñuelos.”
“Okay, I like those, too. So you made the Jim Dandies yourself? Impressive.”
“No, I’m not your Secret Santa.”
“Right, because everyone knows the cookie my aunt used to make when I was a kid?” Teo asked.
What was I supposed to do? Admit it was me? I wanted Teo to get to know me better before he realized I was the one who got him all these specially thought out gifts. Okay. I needed to calm down. Maybe it wasn’t so bad if he knew. Maybe it would even make him like me more. He was sweet with the flower; this was just me doing the same thing back. Besides, he was going to find out the truth eventually anyway. But what if it backfired? No. I just had to steer him away from J.D.
“Your cousin’s telling the truth,” I confided in him. I lowered my voice and tried to be flirty. “Don’t tell, but he has Katie. My guess,” I said, giving him a big smile, “someone asked J.D. for help so they get the Secret Santa thing right. You deserve good gifts,” I said, making sure to use the word Teo wrote to me.
I saw J.D. roll his eyes, but his cousin wasn’t facing him, so I didn’t care.
“Yeah?” Teo asked and moved closer to me, his eyes locked on mine. “You think so?”
“I think just about everyone on the paper does,” I said, trying to keep my Secret Santa cover. “It’s what I would have done if I’d drawn your name.”
“If…,” he repeated. “So I guess that means you didn’t get me?”
“Unfortunately, I can neither confirm nor deny that. I already broke the Secret Santa code once by telling you about Katie, and I can’t afford a rep as an editor who divulges sources or off-the-record information. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?”
“No, we wouldn’t,” he said, still looking at me in a way that made my cheeks warm. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I liked it.
The moment didn’t last long. His brother burst into the room.
“Look at all of this,” Dylan said, carrying a large tray filled with chicken, beef, and vegetable skewers. We all turned to face him.
“Finally,” J.D. mumbled.
“Let me help you with that, bud,” Teo said and took the platter from him and placed it on the coffee table. Then he ruffled Dylan’s hair.
If I liked Teo before, watching him with his brother tripled it. The two of them were sweet together. I liked seeing this side of Teo.
“Dig in,” Mr. Ortiz said, carrying out another tray. His had a whole selection of hors d’oeuvres. There were six different ones to choose from.
“Wow, you made all of this? Thank you, this is really impressive,” I said.
“The hors d’oeuvres are from a box,” J.D. whispered, but loud enough for his mother to hear.
She laughed and threw a napkin at him. “Don’t give away our secrets. But he’s right. Everything else is homemade, though.”
After we all finished stuffing our faces, Mrs. Ortiz opened up the boxes filled with the Christmas decorations. “Shall we?” she asked, and we all moved over to the tree.
“I want to do the tinsel,” Dylan said.
I handed it to him, and he threw some on the lower branches.
J.D. picked him up. “We need some up here.” Then he said, “But we can’t forget the other side, right? Ready, Teo?” Then he literally threw Dylan to him. I thought my heart was going to fall to my toes. Teo caught him with no problem, and it was only two feet, but still!
Then Teo said, “I don’t know, J.D. What do you think? Your side may need a little more, huh?”
“I think so,” he answered.
Then Teo threw Dylan back.
Please don’t drop him.
J.D. made the catch, and I seemed to be the only one in the group having a slight panic attack. Dylan was loving it, and all of the Ortizes were laughing. Maybe this was what it was like growing up with a big family. Or just boys. I was an only child, and I didn’t have any cousins. I wasn’t exactly used to big family affairs, other than the ones I crashed at Morgan’s. And she certainly wasn’t flinging her cousins or brother through the air.
I will admit that by the end, the little’s boy laughter was pretty contagious and it was cute to see Teo and J.D. making him such a big part of the night. But I was still relieved when they put him down and started hanging up the ornaments.
“Any special order?” I asked.
“Anywhere’s fine,” Mrs. Ortiz said.
“Let me guess,” J.D. said, hanging up a heart-shaped photo ornament of his parents. “You have a detailed chart of where every decoration on your tree must go, including the exact distance specifications.”
“Not true at all.” That was only a half lie. I didn’t care which decorations were used because they were mostly the same. The past few years, I preferred the elegant look. So my mom and I went with little white lights, glass icicles, and cream and gold ornaments and ribbons. But generally, I was particular about the spacing. You couldn’t have too many things clustered in one spot or have an empty patch. It needed to be just right. But since Mom and I had worked at warp speed, this year’s tree didn’t have the usual showroom quality. I’d thought about fixing it on my own the next day, but it felt wrong to do it without her, so I’d left it. Now it was just a reminder of how imperfect this month had been.
Instead of explaining, I decided to ignore J.D. and concentrate on decorating instead. I pulled out an ornament. It was a bronzed baby shoe.
“Look,” Mrs. Ortiz said to her husband, “J.D.’s first little shoe.” She started to get misty eyed.
“Way to not embarrass me, Mom,” he said.
“Don’t worry, I’ll cry over your sister’s shoe, too.”
“Wait until she gets to the handprints,” Teo said.
“Or the papier-mâché ornaments, or the picture ones, or just about any of them,” J.D. added.
“Don’t make fun of your mother,” she said, and wiped her eyes, but you could tell how happy she was.
“We made all of the ornaments,” J.D. said, and as I looked through the box, I could see he was telling the truth. Even the regular ball ornaments had been hand painted. “Every year we each make a new one to add to the tree.”
“I made some, too!” Dylan said, and pointed to the first ornament he put up—a Spider-Man Shrinky Dink.
“Very cool,” I told him. And I meant it. As I looked at their tree coming to life, I was a bit in awe. It told the story of their family.
This was the Christmas I wanted. Only with my mom. I tried to push away the hollow feeling in my gut as they pulled out ornament after ornament and shared stories and memories about aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and more. I loved how close they were and how each decoration seemed to have a life of its own. It also made me a little sad. But maybe next year I’d have this, too.
As we neared the end of the final box, I reached in and pulled out the last ornament.
“Um?” I said. It was a decapitated Barbie doll head with an ornament hook going through her forehead. That, I could live without.
J.D. took it from me and laughed. “Leeza.”
“Huh?” I asked.
“My sister,” J.D. explained, carefully placing it on the tree, and not on the side hidden by the wall, either. “About ten years ago she was being a real b—”
“Difficult pre-teen,” Mrs. Ortiz interrupted.
“Yes,” J.D. continued, “a difficult pre-t
een and didn’t want to make an ornament. She got so annoyed about my parents talking about tradition that she went in her closet, pulled out an old doll, jammed the ornament hook in its face, and said, ‘Here! Happy?’ And my parents said yes and put it up on the tree. By Christmas Leeza felt bad and tried to take it down, but they insisted it stay. It was a little tense at the time, but now it’s a running joke, and Barbie’s head has a permanent place of honor on our tree. We all laugh when we look at it.”
“We’re almost finished,” Mr. Ortiz said. “Just one more thing.”
He went to the mantel above the fireplace and reached into a small box. He pulled out an exquisite Star of Bethlehem.
“Our grandfather made that,” Teo told me. “I have one just like it on my tree at home.”
“He made that?” I asked.
“Yeah, he’s pretty talented. He had a workshop where he played around with a lot of things. Painting, metal, glass, wood, electronics. He’s kind of amazing.”
“I can tell.” The star was made of glass, had gold trim, and had intricate detailing carved throughout. It must have taken him weeks to do.
“I wish he could be here with us this year, but he doesn’t want to do the winter,” Mr. Ortiz said, and I saw J.D. bite his lip.
“It’s our first Christmas with him in Florida,” Teo said, slapping J.D. on the back. “He moved closer to my aunt Jackie. Said he was too old for snow.”
I could tell how much he meant to both of them.
“How about dessert?” J.D. said, changing the subject.
“Yes!” Dylan answered for all of us.
Morgan and Ira got there just in time to join us. “Sorry we’re late,” she said, and handed Mrs. Ortiz a box with bow tied around it. “Merry Christmas.”
Of course Morgan brought something. Why hadn’t I thought of that?
Mrs. Ortiz read the card and then untied the ribbon and peeked inside. “Morgan, Ira, Charlie, thank you all. I love peppermint bark. Especially the homemade kind.”
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