Rowan was delighted as she took a step back. “Make sure you remember everything so you can describe it to me.”
“I will. I’ll see you soon.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
ROWAN WAS SO DETERMINED to enjoy her day she did as Quinn asked. She tracked down Sally and they spent the day shopping and gossiping. For some reason, and Rowan had no idea why, she felt lighter when they were done.
By the time she carried her new possessions back to her quarters, she was weary and considering a nap. Once she woke up, she rationalized, Quinn would be back from his dive and they could have a quiet dinner together where she could share his great day with him.
She settled on the bed, frowning when she noticed the light from her laptop on the nightstand and realized her computer was still on. She’d never shut it down from the previous afternoon. She preferred taking good care of her equipment and silently chided herself for forgetting.
Rowan snagged the laptop and flipped open the screen, widening her eyes when she recognized Quinn’s email account popping up rather than her own. That was probably a security no-no, of course. Quinn could get in trouble. Thankfully, Rowan wasn’t interested in going through anyone’s personal documents.
Something did catch her eye when she moved to close out of the window, though, and she couldn’t stop herself from clicking on one of the emails. It was from Fred, and the subject line read “urgent information about Nicholas Green.” With a title like that, Rowan rationalized that she couldn’t not look.
What she found inside made her wish she’d shown more self-restraint. Her stomach twisted as she read the email, her heart pounding as blood rushed through her ears and threatened to make her go lightheaded.
She read the email three times before she comprehended it, and by the time she was done, a nap was the last thing on her mind.
“I don’t believe it.”
Rowan was flabbergasted … and furious. She closed the laptop, leaving it on her bed as she stormed toward the cabin door.
“I can’t freaking believe this!”
14
Fourteen
Rowan had no idea where she was going. She had no idea where Nick was. She had no idea how to find him so she could confront him. She merely knew she couldn’t sit still.
The Bounding Storm was almost completely empty when she hit the main deck. That wasn’t surprising. The bulk of the diving team – even those who would be in charge of restoration – were down at the docks waiting to hear back from the first dive crew.
The Bounding Storm’s crew was clearly taking advantage of the situation and spending time on El Demonio, which was not only allowed but encouraged to cut down on cabin fever, so that meant Rowan had the run of the ship.
Unfortunately for her, the only thing she wanted to do was run over Nick … with the biggest truck she could find.
Perhaps it was fate then that she found him after only a brief search.
He stood on the deck, staring out at the island with nothing but a queer look on his face. He seemed lost in thought, perhaps in his own memories, and he didn’t hear Rowan approach until she was almost on top of him.
“It’s a lovely day,” Nick offered, smiling. “I would’ve thought you’d be on the island.”
“I was earlier.”
“Did you come back for a specific reason?”
“I went shopping with my friend Sally earlier. I wanted to bring back my things and take a nap.”
“It’s quiet out here, serene, but you shouldn’t sleep in the sun.”
“Yes, well, I’m no longer interested in taking a nap.” Rowan clenched her hands into fists at her sides. “So … why didn’t you tell me you were my uncle from the start?”
Whatever he was expecting, that wasn’t it. Nick let the oxygen in his lungs whoosh out as he uttered a strangled gasp. He recovered quickly, although the effort wasn’t smooth. “What?”
“Don’t bother denying it,” Rowan warned, her temper flashing. “I’ve seen the documents. I know who you are.”
Nick licked his lips, giving himself a moment to gather his thoughts. “I see. And what is it that you think you know?”
“You’re my father’s brother. You’re Nick Gray.”
“I’m Nick Green,” he corrected. “I’ve been Nick Green for a very long time.”
“You were born Nick Gray. Just because you legally changed your name, that doesn’t mean you aren’t who you were born to be.”
“That was a tongue twister, huh?” Nick’s expression was bemused. When Rowan didn’t crack a smile, he sobered. “You’re right. I am your uncle.”
Rowan had so many questions fighting for top billing in her head she had no idea where to start. “Why are you here?”
“Perhaps we should find a place in the shade to sit down,” Nick suggested kindly. “It’s hot. The sun is powerful. This might take a bit of time to explain.”
Rowan wanted answers right away, but she nodded. “Fine. We’ll go to the tiki bar.”
“That’s a little more public than I’m comfortable with.”
“The ship is empty. We can talk freely there.”
“The bartender will be there,” Nick pointed out. “You seem friendly with him.”
“I am. I’m going to be honest, though. I’m not comfortable being alone with you. It’s the tiki bar or nothing.”
“Are you sure?” Nick was dubious. “You have a lot of questions. You’ve always been the curious sort. Something tells me you’ll go anywhere with me as long as you think I can fill in some of the gaps for you.”
Rowan didn’t like his smug expression. “It’s the tiki bar or nothing.”
“Fine.” Nick held up his hands in surrender. “We’ll go to the tiki bar. The last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you brought up me being abandoned.”
“Was that what led to my downfall?”
“Yes.”
“Well, live and learn.” Nick heaved out a sigh. “I guess we should get started. This is going to be a very long conversation.”
“I KNEW I RECOGNIZED YOU.”
Rowan played with the condensation ring left on the tabletop by her glass of iced tea as she stared down Nick. Demarcus hadn’t bothered to hide his curiosity when he saw the two of them together, but he wisely left them to their private conversation while remaining behind the bar in case he needed to spring into action and race to Rowan’s aid.
For his part, Nick opted for something stronger and sipped a bourbon and water.
“I was around a few times when you were younger,” Nick supplied. “Your father and I were closer then and I remember a few rowdy barbecues with your mother’s family.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“Perhaps you don’t want to remember that.”
“And why would that be?”
Nick shrugged, noncommittal. “Maybe your mother’s death left you so bereft you forgot the good memories. I can see that happening. You were close with your mother.”
“I was close with my father, too,” Rowan pointed out. “I don’t remember you.”
“And yet something inside of you recognized me,” Nick pointed out. “I wasn’t sure if you would. I was nervous when we were first introduced. I thought you might blurt something out. When you didn’t, I relaxed a bit. Of course, part of me was hurt you didn’t seem to remember. It was something of a double-edged sword.”
“I don’t know that I recognized you as much as I felt there was something familiar about you,” Rowan corrected. “We saw you at that restaurant the night before we left. I couldn’t stop looking at you.”
“I saw you, too.”
“You acted like you didn’t remember seeing me.”
“That was part of the game.”
“Is that what this is, a game?”
Nick pursed his lips. “No. It’s pretty far from a game. Still, when you didn’t recognize me right awa
y, I thought it was probably better for you to remain in the dark.”
“I don’t believe that’s true,” Rowan argued. “You wouldn’t have let the ‘abandonment’ crack slip if you didn’t want to jar my memory. I think you wanted me to be suspicious. I think that’s why you kept coming around.”
“In truth, I should’ve stopped talking to you right away and yet I couldn’t do it,” Nick acknowledged. “You’ve grown up to be a lovely woman. I see a lot of your mother in you. You have hints of your father, too, though. That’s what I most wanted to see.”
“If you and my father were so close, why didn’t you show up when he disappeared?” Rowan challenged. “Why did you change your name? Why did you show up here?”
“You have a lot of questions. Unfortunately, I’m not sure you’ll be happy with my answers.”
“Try me.”
“Okay.” Nick took a long sip of his drink. “Your father and I had a falling out when you were ten. You probably don’t remember it, but it was over something stupid.”
“When I was ten?” Rowan furrowed her brow. “That was the same year Grandpa died.”
“It was.” Nick bobbed his head. “That’s what we fought about. I wanted to keep Grandpa’s house and your father wanted to sell it. Even though I couldn’t take care of the house because I was always traveling and the onus of the task would’ve fallen on your father, I was stubborn and stuck in my ways.”
“And that’s it?” Rowan felt a bit disillusioned. “That’s what you fought about? That’s what made you fall out of touch?”
“We didn’t fall completely out of touch. I called once a year or so, usually around Christmas. I also sent a gift for you every year, but I’m not sure if you got them. I wasn’t a good brother. I was an even worse uncle. Your mother was dead for months before I heard. After that … after I realized how awful I was … I was too guilty to call.”
“That doesn’t make me think you’re a good person,” Rowan pointed out. “In fact, it makes me dislike you even more. I wasn’t sure that was possible until you just said that … but there it is.”
“I don’t blame you for disliking me. There’s not much to like about what I did. Guilt is a funny thing, though. It makes you introspective. I’ve spent the better part of the past ten years wishing I had done things differently. I am truly sorry for falling out of touch with your father … and you. You’re my only niece. You’re the only family I have left. I should’ve done so many things differently.”
He looked sad and lost, but Rowan refused to let sympathy overtake her. “And after my father disappeared?”
Nick held his hands palms up. “I didn’t find out about that until months after it happened either. By then you were … off on your own.”
“You could’ve called.”
“Believe it or not, I went to your house,” Nick said. “There was a ‘for sale’ sign on the lawn and I saw you. I was parked on the street and I watched you carry out a few bags and load them into your car. I was about to get out of my vehicle when you bent over and put your hands on your knees.
“At first I thought you were getting sick,” he continued. “Then I realized you were crying. Your shoulders were shaking and your whole body moved with your grief. I felt like an interloper then. A dirty interloper who had no right to interfere with your life.”
For some reason, and Rowan didn’t know if it was real or imagined, she believed she remembered that exact moment. “You weren’t trying to do right by me. You were making things easier on yourself. You didn’t want to be the only living family member for an orphaned girl.”
Nick’s lips twisted. “I wish I could deny that charge. It’s ugly and hurtful. It’s also the truth. All I could think about when looking at you is that you had no one and I wasn’t in a position to be your lone touchstone.”
“So you left me alone.”
“I did.” Nick nodded, offering up a sad chuckle. “I abandoned you and myself at the same time. The guilt was terrible. It … ravaged me.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Rowan deadpanned. “How difficult it must have been for you.”
“I don’t blame you for being furious. I wouldn’t be anything other than irate in your shoes. You have to know, though, that I’ve thought about you quite often throughout the years. In fact, I’ve followed your life as closely as possible.”
“You’ve followed my life?”
Nick bobbed his head, warming to the subject. “I kept up with your schooling. I knew when you got a job for the newspaper. I also heard when you lost your job and I was surprised when you showed up on The Bounding Storm.
“I never thought there would be a chance to cross paths with you until this opportunity arose,” he continued. “When I realized that we could be on the same ship … well, I jumped at it. I didn’t even need to technically be here and yet I couldn’t be anywhere else.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Rowan was proud she managed to keep from bursting into tears. Her insides were raw, somehow weakened by the discovery of her uncle. She remained strong, though. She refused to fall apart. Not now. Not with this man. “You had a chance to watch me up close and personal – perhaps like a trained lab rat – and you couldn’t turn away. How great for me, huh?”
“If you wish to yell and scream, that’s certainly your prerogative. I’ve earned your ire.”
“You have no idea what you’ve earned because you weren’t around,” Rowan exploded, garnering a curious look from Demarcus. She held up her hand to keep him behind the bar, let him know she was okay. She was nowhere near done and she didn’t want her personal business spread all over the ship. With that in mind, she adjusted her tone. “I had no one when my father disappeared. I literally had no one. Do you have any idea what that was like for me?”
“I would like to say yes because I’m something of a loner myself, but I know that’s not true. You were barely an adult – more of a child really – and you had to grow up on your own. I am so sorry for that. You’ll never know how sorry.”
“That doesn’t do me much good now.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Nick agreed. “The thing is, you grew up to be a strong and wonderful woman. You did all of that on your own. While I’m ashamed that I didn’t help you – didn’t do something to make what happened easier – I am very proud of how strong you turned out. Your father would be so proud.”
Rowan hated the tears pricking the back of her eyes. They didn’t make her feel strong. In fact, they made her feel the exact opposite. “Do you know what happened to my father?”
The question caught Nick off guard. “No. Did you think I did?”
“I don’t know. I guess I was hoping you did. I mean … you changed your name. I’ve always had these wild scenarios flitting through my head that my father had to go on the run because mobsters were after him or something. Changing your name seemed to fit that scenario.”
“Ah.” Understanding dawned on Nick. “You thought perhaps I helped him escape and had to change my name because of it. Now, ten years after, perhaps it was safe to make contact or something, huh?”
Rowan nodded, her cheeks burning with mortification. “Silly, huh?”
“No, I don’t believe that at all.” Nick tentatively reached out and awkwardly patted the top of her hand. Rowan didn’t jerk away from him, although she didn’t look happy at the contact. For now, Nick considered it a win. “I don’t know what happened to your father. If it’s any consolation – and I don’t know if it will make things worse or not – I don’t believe he’s dead.”
Rowan’s eyes fired with emotion. “You don’t?”
“When I realized I wasn’t equipped to help you, I turned my focus to your father,” Nick explained. “I wanted to find him for you. I wanted to give you closure. I went in to the investigation thinking that he’d very obviously died and the police simply hadn’t found his body yet.”
“But?”
“But I looked, sweetheart,” Nick said. “I
looked far and wide for him. I looked for his car. I looked along any route he could’ve taken home that day. In fact, I hired divers to search the lake in case he somehow ended up there. That’s how I became involved in the diving business in the first place.”
“Oh.” Rowan had no idea what to make of the admission. “And they didn’t find anything?”
Nick shook his head. “They didn’t find a single thing.”
“And you think that means he’s alive?”
“I think that I’m a man of science and without proof of death, I believe he’s alive,” Nick replied. “I have no idea why he would run, though. I have no idea if he did run. Perhaps someone took him. Perhaps someone forced him to leave.”
“He could still be dead then,” Rowan pressed. “He could’ve been taken for some unknown reason and killed after the fact.”
“I guess that’s true,” Nick conceded. “It may be wishful thinking on my part. It might be guilt because I didn’t help my niece when I was the only one who could. I’m not sure what it is … but I believe he’s still out there.”
Rowan was flummoxed. “I’ve always wanted to believe that, too. I think people look at me like I’m crazy when I say things like that, though, so I’ve learned to keep those thoughts to myself.”
“You don’t have to do that with me.”
“Yeah? What is it you want from me?”
Nick’s answer was so simple Rowan thought her heart might burst.
“Forgiveness … and another chance to do right by you.”
“Oh, well … geez.”
QUINN WAS IN A GOOD mood when he hit The Bounding Storm.
The dive was everything he imagined … and more. He couldn’t wait to share his stories with Rowan. He couldn’t wait to tell her about the items they found and what it could mean for future dives.
He paid very little heed to the deck as he moved toward the hallway that led to Rowan’s room. He knew she would be there waiting for him and he wanted to see her more than anything.
Quinn had a broad smile on his face when he used his key card to enter her room. Even though it was technically against the rules, he fashioned key cards for her and him so they could freely enter each other’s quarters. He told himself it was for simplicity’s sake, but it was really a demonstration of trust. He pulled up short when he found the room empty.
Sunken Seas (A Rowan Gray Mystery Book 4) Page 13