Chris nods. “Dude, yeah, it’s fine. You’ve gotta do what’s right for you; I get it. It’s not like I need your whiny ass around anyway!” Chris grins. “And, hey, holiday spot in California, that could be all right.”
“Absolutely. Or, hell, maybe you’ll get sick of this place and come out yourself! They must need lawyers out there too. Maybe Evan could hook you up.”
Chris just smiles. “You’re pretty quick to be offering his services. What was all that about a division between your job and your personal life?”
Dan shrugs. “Well, it’s not like you’d need his help anyway. You’re Christopher Foster, damn it!”
“That’s right. I’m Christopher Foster, and you, Dan… you are moving to California.”
Dan smiles. He’s feeling the tug of sadness already, but it no longer feels like it’s going to drag him under. He knows that he’ll never forget Justin, maybe never really get over him, but he feels good about the new start. Justin will always be a part of him, a big, good, important part, but Dan isn’t dead, and needs to find a way to move on. He’s not sure if California will work for him. Maybe he’ll be back sleeping on Chris’s couch before the end of the summer, but at least he’ll have tried. He knows Justin would have expected him at least to try.
Part 2
Chapter 18
DAN IS tired. It’s his second straight day of driving, and he’d spent a good part of the night before walking the horses to let them stretch out a little and then getting them safely settled in their temporary accommodations. His own rest and comfort came after that. The tractor-trailer that’s hauling the horses has two drivers, but Dan’s following along in his own truck, so he has to do all the driving himself. He wonders if he’s getting old. There was a time when he did this sort of thing for weeks on end, but now he’s tired after two days. Either old or soft; he doesn’t know which would be worse.
He’s more than ready to stop when he sees the stone gates welcoming him to the Kaminski property. He knows he’s still got a lot to do once he arrives, but at least the end is in sight.
One of the drivers jumps out of the truck and opens the gate to the barn area, and Dan follows the trailer through before the driver closes the gate behind him. Dan takes a minute to look around. The construction all seems to be done, and the place is looking good. He sees a couple of the horses that had come out with Robyn a few days earlier, and they seem calm and happy in their new home. He hopes he can adjust as well as they have.
The trailer pulls up in front of the barn, and Dan parks a distance away—his truck may not be a prize, but he still doesn’t want it kicked by a horse who’s crabby after too long on the road. He sees Robyn come out of the barn to greet them, followed by Tatiana, who is dressed for work and looks almost grubby. Dan is really relieved to see that. He’s worked for rich people before, and some of them seem to have trouble distinguishing between a trainer and a personal slave. He doesn’t mind helping somebody out, but he’s happy to see a rider who looks willing to do at least some of the work herself.
He pulls himself out of the truck and is in the middle of a big stretch when Robyn practically tackles him with a hug. “Dan! You’re here!” She looks over her shoulder and smiles at Tatiana, and then excitedly whispers to Dan, “I love her, and I love it here, and I love you for making this happen!” Then she grabs his hand and drags him over to Tat.
Dan and the girl exchange a friendly but more subdued greeting, and then all three walk over to where the drivers have got the gate of the trailer open. Dan reaches inside the door and finds the lead ropes he stashed. “How about if I bring them out of the trailer, then you two take them into the barn? You’ll have a better idea of where they’re going anyway.” The girls agree enthusiastically. Seeing them so excited has given Dan a burst of energy and makes it much easier to coax his body back to work.
Bringing a horse out of a trailer safely takes a certain amount of care and finesse, and Dan really doesn’t want to have brought these horses three quarters of the way across the continent just to see them injured once they arrive, so he works pretty slowly, and either Robyn or Tat is always ready and waiting for a new charge by the time he’s got the horse down the ramp. Monty is the second to last to unload, and Robyn takes him, and then Dan goes back for the final horse, the one that means the most to him.
Unlike the other horses, Smokey isn’t used to the fancy shipping boots that he’s wearing, and he walks with his knees brought exaggeratedly high, as though he’s wading through a swamp. He’s steady, though, pricking his ears in interest at the new sights and sounds but not even thinking about spooking or acting up. Tatiana almost claps her hands when she sees him.
“I was so happy when your friend called and asked if we had room for another horse! And he’s such a sweetie!” She comes forward eagerly, and Smokey extends his nose in polite greeting.
Dan is almost reluctant to hand the lead rope over to her. He’s been working with horses since he was thirteen, but he’s never owned one before. When Chris had brought Smokey over on the last day in Kentucky and said he’d heard there might be room in the trailer for one more, Dan hadn’t understood at first. He’d thought maybe Evan was taking steps in his ambition to have his own Quarter Horses to “screw around on”, but he hadn’t seen why he’d need to ship them in from Kentucky… and then Chris had told him, “Happy Birthday,” and kept talking over the part where Dan pointed out that his birthday was in December. Chris had said that he’d already called California to make sure there was room and that they didn’t mind a scrubby little trail pony mixing with their high class eventers. Chris had covered Smokey’s ears for some parts of that speech. The shipping company had also been consulted and the drivers had some papers for Dan to sign, and then Smokey was getting his boots velcroed on and was loaded into the trailer, and Dan was left to say thank you and goodbye to his best friend. Chris hadn’t let him say much, just handed him a box of Kleenex and a six-pack of water (“’Cause I can see you tearing up already, you little suck, and you know you’re not going to make it out of state without blubbering.”)
And now Smokey is about to start living the high life in California, and he seems to be fitting in just fine. He stands politely while Dan takes his shipping boots off and then follows Tatiana into the barn like a big, friendly dog.
The drivers are unloading the equipment that had come with the horses, and Dan helps them and then gives the trailer a quick check to make sure that nothing’s left behind. He signs the necessary papers and sees the truck pull away, and then he picks up a couple of saddles from the pile and heads into the barn. It’s strange to see the familiar horses in their new surroundings. Dan had arranged for a load of their regular Kentucky hay to come out with them. The California prices were so much higher that the shipping cost wasn’t prohibitive, and he wanted to be sure their digestive systems didn’t get a shock. And the equipment almost all came with them too. It feels a bit like an elaborate April Fool’s joke, where the contents of one barn have been transferred to another. Right down to the staff, Dan thinks, as Robyn comes in from outside with her own armload of equipment.
They all work together to get everything put away and make sure the horses are settled, and then Tatiana reluctantly says she has to go up to the house for dinner. Dan isn’t exactly expecting an invitation, but he wouldn’t have been shocked to get one. He’s a little surprised that neither Jeff nor Evan has been down to say hello yet. But no invitation or explanation is offered, so Dan is left to his own devices.
Robyn says that she’s on duty for the evening, with feeding and putting the barn to bed. She’s moved into one of the apartments upstairs, so it’s quite convenient for her. She shows him the schedule she’s set up for the staff to be in charge of the barn chores, subject to his approval, and she seems pleased when he says it looks good and asks her if she’d mind keeping the scheduling as one of her responsibilities.
Dan takes his truck over to the guest house and starts moving boxes and b
ags inside. He doesn’t have much, and he doesn’t feel like actually unpacking more than the necessities, so he decides to take the truck into town to pick up some groceries and maybe start scouting around for places that serve takeout. He has a quick shower to wash off the grime of the road, burrows through his bags to find some clean clothes, and then heads out. He stops off at the barn on the way to see if Robyn needs anything, but she doesn’t—she says she loves the little town so much that she’s happy to run her own errands. Dan wonders how long that will last.
There’s no big grocery store in town, but there’s a mom-and-pop operation that has everything Dan needs. He eats a lot of frozen meals, so he’s gotten used to shopping with a cooler in the truck. He loads the frozen stuff and the milk in there and knows it should be fine for a couple of hours. He asks the man at the cash register about finding somewhere to get takeout meals, and he’s told that he can get diner-style food from Carla’s, good Italian from Zio’s, or bar food from the Fireside Bar and Grill. Dan remembers Evan mentioning Zio’s and the Fireside when he’d driven Dan through town on his last visit. A burger sounds good, so he heads for the bar-and-grill.
He’d somehow forgotten that it was Saturday night. It’s still fairly early, so the place isn’t packed, but Dan gets the feeling that it’s going to be. He heads for the bar and a pretty brunette in a tight, low-cut T-shirt comes to take his order. He explains that he just wants takeout and a beer while he waits, and she touches his arm and tells him she can take care of that for him. She asks if he’s sure he doesn’t want to eat at the bar, and he smiles as he pulls his arm back out of her reach and says takeout is fine. She gets the message and takes his order, and he finds a seat at the end of the bar to drink his beer and watch the crowd.
There’s a band warming up, and Dan remembers Evan had said something about him and Jeff coming here a lot for the music. Dan scans the crowd but doesn’t see them. There’s a huge fireplace along one wall, but it’s early June and the air is warm, so the fire isn’t lit. But at least Dan knows the place has its name for a reason. Most of the patrons are dressed casually, but it’s the kind of casual that probably cost more than Dan’s entire wardrobe. Dan isn’t really sure about the economic base of this town, but at least some people are obviously doing pretty well. He wonders how many of them keep horses.
He’s about half-done with his beer when he hears a familiar laugh from the direction of the door. He turns with a smile and sees Evan holding the door for Jeff and two other people: a tall blond man and a woman with her dark hair pulled back into a bun so tight it seems like it’s pulling at her eyes. She looks like a slightly aged ballerina, even in her jeans and suede shirt. Evan is laughing at something the blond man said, and Jeff is watching him in amusement. The humor fades from Jeff’s eyes when he looks over at the bar and sees Dan, replaced by a quick flash of something Dan isn’t sure about, and then by a careful neutrality.
Jeff touches Evan’s arm and nods toward the bar, and Dan has a moment of discomfort. Something seems wrong, or different at least, but he can’t quite put his finger on what it is. Evan smiles in Dan’s direction, but instead of charging over as Dan had expected, he waves and then turns to the couple they’re with, obviously explaining Dan’s identity. They look over without much interest, and Evan nods as they head for a table by the window, and then Jeff and Evan come over to the bar.
Dan hops off his stool and shakes Evan’s hand, then Jeff’s. “So you made it safely? The horses and everything are all fine?” Evan inquires.
Yeah, everything went smoothly. Hey, I haven’t had a chance to thank you for finding room for Smokey—I really appreciate it.” Dan smiles a little as he thinks of his horse.
Evan smiles back, but Dan doesn’t really feel the warmth like he has before. “Well, Jeff said it was pretty standard for a trainer to be given a stall for his own horse, and we’ve still got lots of room. Don’t worry about it.”
There’s a bit of a pause, and Dan turns to Jeff, who seems to be staring somewhere around Dan’s ear. “So it’s another couple weeks until your show, right? Is everything going well for that?”
Jeff nods. “Yeah, it’s a lot of work, but I’m enjoying it.”
Dan sees a flash of movement in his peripheral vision and is relieved to see that the waitress has returned with his meal in a brown paper bag. He’s not used to carrying conversations, and he’s especially thrown off that he’s being forced to do that when he’s talking to Jeff and Evan. He doesn’t know if he’s caught them at a bad time, or if this is their attempt to help him with the division between work and play that he’d mentioned to Jeff. Whatever’s going on, he’s too tired to deal with it. He thanks the bartender for the food and then turns back to Jeff and Evan, waving the bag as his excuse. “Well, I’d better get out of here, let you get back to your friends.” They nod and step aside for him to get by. “Thanks again for the stall space, Evan.”
“No problem, man. I’ll try to get down to the barn in the next couple days, but if you need anything, give Linda a call, all right?”
Dan smiles his understanding and heads out the door. He walks past the bar’s window on his way to the truck, and, despite his efforts, his eyes turn to look inside. He sees Evan and Jeff both looking out at him, both with unreadable expressions on their faces. He sketches a half-wave and then keeps walking. He has no idea what has happened to the relaxed, friendly men he’d spent time with on his last visit or during their time in Kentucky. He wonders if they have just gotten tired of worrying about needy little Dan, and are trying to make it clear that their babysitting days are over. That seems fair. Jeff had gone above and beyond any duty he owed to a casual acquaintance, and even Evan had been really generous with his time, especially considering how many other commitments he must have.
Dan is a little insulted that they think that he would keep imposing on them and a little worried that they might be questioning his professionalism, his competence to do his job. He decides that he’ll be careful to display his own ability to be businesslike and certainly not show any sign of weakness that would make them feel awkward or suggest that he’s looking for their pity.
He tries to ignore his own sense of disappointment. He’d moved out to California for a job and for an opportunity to keep working with the horses that he and Justin had worked so hard on. Spending time with Jeff, or even Evan, would just get in the way of that and would make things more complicated than they need to be. He should be grateful that the other two have apparently made the decision for him so that he won’t have to worry about insulting them.
The horses have been without one of their trainers for the last year, and their training had been further disrupted by the drama of the past month. It will be a lot of work for Dan to get them back to where they should be, especially as he’ll be working with two new assistant trainers. And he’s never been in charge of a barn before. He isn’t sure exactly what his duties in the new position will be, but he knows he’ll have a lot to learn. He resolves to give the job all of his attention, all of his energy. If he can manage to tire himself out, maybe he’ll be able to forget the hole in his life where Justin used to be, and maybe he’ll be able to keep Jeff and those few electric moments out of his mind as well. He’s not actually confident that this will work, but he knows he has no choice in the matter with Justin, and based on the scene at the bar, he doesn’t have a choice with Jeff either. At least this way, he can tell himself that his isolation is all his idea.
Chapter 19
WHEN DAN’S alarm goes off, it interrupts a good dream. He tries to remember the details as he wakes, but they’re already fading into the distance and the harder he chases them the faster they run away. He remembers a mood, mostly, remembers feeling safe and warm and loved. He’s heard some people say that they can go back to sleep and pick up their dream where they left off, but he’s never been able to do that, and besides, he has work to do, so he gets up.
He has cold cereal for breakfast and pulls on riding c
lothes. He has to hunt around a bit for his boots, but finally finds them tucked into one of the boxes. He looks around the guest house carefully to be sure he’s leaving it in reasonable condition. He’s never lived anywhere so nice, never had so much space all to himself, and it still feels like he’s just visiting. His whole life out here still feels like he’s just visiting.
He heads out of the house, down the short lane and onto the main drive. An unfamiliar dog appears and barks at him a couple times. She looks like a pit bull cross, and Dan is a little cautious, but he crouches down, and she comes over and meets him. She stops barking after that, but she still escorts him to the barn as though she thinks it’s her job to keep an eye on him. As if she agrees that he doesn’t quite belong.
That feeling continues when he gets to the barn. One of the new hires is there, just finishing the feeding. Dan can’t remember the girl’s name, and can’t get over the feeling that she has more of a right to be there than he does. She seems surprised to see him, which doesn’t really help.
“Oh, hi! Mr. Wheeler! I didn’t know you’d be here this morning.” Once Dan realizes that she’s nervous, he feels a bit more comfortable himself. And a quick glance to the schedule Robyn had posted shows that ‘Sara’ is assigned to this shift, so….
“Sara, right?” She nods, and he smiles. “‘Dan’ is fine. And sorry to interrupt—it can be kind of nice to have the place to yourself, can’t it?”
She smiles back. “At least you didn’t catch me singing to the horses, or something.” She’s just fed the last horse, and she frowns. “The last stall—that horse isn’t on the list. I gave him a couple flakes of hay, but I didn’t know how much feed he’d want.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 45