They stood in the line with the other tourists waiting their turn to get into the elevator that would take them up to the Skydeck. Willis Tower, according to the brochure in Lil’s hand, was the highest building in the western hemisphere, and the third tallest in the world. It was a big tourist attraction, and the lines were a small price to pay to get to the top and enjoy the magnificent view. The express elevator soared up to the hundred and third floor in less than sixty seconds. Luca held his head when the door slid open and turned to Grier. “Tight?”
“It’s the pressure building up in your ears,” Grier explained. “Try pinching your nose with your fingers and blowing.”
Luca did as he was told and he looked at Grier and smiled. “They popped, Tito G.”
“Good.”
Luca moved quickly, heading toward the Ledge everyone was talking about. Lil held back when he realized what he was about to experience.
“Come on, Tito Lil,” Luca urged, pulling him along. Grier brought up the rear and watched in amusement as Lil stepped into the glass box with much trepidation. It extended approximately four feet over Wacker Drive allowing one to look through the floor to the street, one thousand plus feet below. Lil would have passed out if not for Luca’s innocent face looking up at him.
“How cool!” Luca exclaimed.
“Way cool, buddy,” Lil croaked.
Grier put his arm around Lil’s waist and drew him close. “I got you.”
“Thank God,” Lil whispered. He turned toward Grier and began to hyperventilate, so caught up in his fear he forgot how to breathe. The look on his face was priceless, and Grier couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Can we please get out of here?”
“Come on,” Luca sighed loudly, “you’re a big baby, Tito Lil.”
Grier burst out laughing. “You tell him, buddy.”
“Shut up,” Lil hissed. “I have to maintain my dignity around this child.”
“I think it’s a lost cause,” Grier joked.
“Oh my God,” Lil clutched Grier’s hand. “Let’s go.”
“Don’t you want to see anything else? What kind of architect are you?”
“The kind that enjoys skyscrapers off a blueprint!”
Grier picked up Luca, and they entered the elevator, which hurled them down the many flights in record time. Lil felt like he’d left his stomach somewhere up on the eightieth floor. By the time he staggered out onto the street, he was paper white. “I think I need a drink. What time is it?”
“Who cares?” Grier replied. “It’s after five somewhere in the world.”
Lil broke out in a nervous laugh. “Let’s find a beer joint.”
They walked by Uno’s Pizzeria and agreed that this was where they’d have lunch. Luca was eager to try the deep-dish pepperoni, and Lil ordered a pitcher of beer. It was a win-win situation for everyone. After the color came back into Lil’s cheeks, Grier and Luca started to make fun of his hysterics, and soon the three of them were cracking up. “Remind me never to do this again,” Lil wheezed. “What was I thinking?”
“Good thing I held your hand, huh, Tito Lil?”
“You’re very brave, Luca. How old are you, anyway?”
“I just turned theven.”
“Well, I’ll make sure and tell your mommy and daddy how you kept me from flipping out.”
“I don’t have a daddy,” Luca said softly.
“Oh. Well, I’ll tell your mommy, then.”
“You know my mommy?”
“No, but your Tito G does. He can tell her how brave you were.”
“Okay.” Luca took a huge bite of his pizza and began to chew slowly, making sure he had his mouth closed the entire time.
Lil stared at Luca in silence, ignoring the abrupt shift in Grier’s body language. The boy’s eyes were like black buttons, exactly like Grier’s, only almond shaped, and his lashes weren’t as curly. His skin tone was a rich taupe, with a touch of copper, like over-ripe apricots, especially on his cheeks, and his pitch-black hair was bone straight. The boy was clearly of mixed race, a perfect combination of a Caucasian father and his Filipino mother. Lil wanted to kick himself for missing what was so obviously Grier’s mouth. The shape of Luca’s lips were the same. The pouty lower lip with the little dent right underneath the middle, a not-so-full-upper lip to match, and the tiniest hint of a cleft on his chin confirmed what Lil now suspected. Luca was Grier’s son, and the mystery of his enigmatic hookup deepened even further.
Lil turned to Grier in time to see the man raise his glass of beer in a silent toast. “Figure it out?”
“Apparently so.”
“Let’s drink to that, shall we?”
“Indeed,” Lil said, forcing a smile. “To fathers and sons everywhere.”
THE MOOD became awkward very swiftly. Grier felt sick to his stomach now that Lil had deduced what no one else in his family had ever considered. He’d have to tell him the whole sordid story just to erase that look of disapproval on the blond’s face. How could you?
It was a million-dollar question, and the one that Grier asked himself every day. If he could change anything in his life it would be the moment in time when he’d agreed to go along with Jillian’s story.
Lil requested the check and insisted on paying for the meal, despite Grier’s protests. “Look, it’s my treat since you and Luca are doing me a favor.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Lil said stiffly. “I think we’ve seen enough for one day, don’t you?”
Grier leaned in toward Lil’s ear so Luca wouldn’t hear him. “Please, give me a chance to explain.”
“It’s not necessary, Grier.”
“Yes, it is. Please?”
Lil nodded. “Alright.”
Grier knew that Lil was completely turned off and probably wanted nothing more to do with him. And who could blame him? He had more baggage than any one person should have to deal with, or want to for that matter. Yet, it was important that Lil understand the reasons behind the deceit, which meant Grier would have to put up with the judgmental attitude for a few more hours. So be it.
“Is there a zoo around here?” Lil asked.
Luca squealed and began to hop up and down. “Oh, pleeth, can we go? Pleeth, pleeth…?”
Lil smiled down at him. “If Tito G can find one for us, we’ll go, little man.”
“Lincoln Park Zoo isn’t that far.”
“Let’s go, then.”
They walked out of the restaurant with a lively Luca in between them. The little boy was in high spirits and bounced in his seat as the cab crawled its way to the zoo.
“Settle down, Luca,” Grier said gently.
“I want to see the lionth.”
“You’ll get to see everything if you calm down.”
“I’m excited, too, Luca, but you need to sit still or that lap belt will hurt you,” Lil cautioned.
“Can I feed the animalth? Will there be a duck?”
“I’m not sure, but we’ll soon find out,” Lil said.
It turned out that there was a model farm, sponsored by John Deere, where animals were available for petting, and feeding as well. Grier purchased a small bucket of food pellets and let Luca run on ahead.
“Thank you for doing this,” Grier said, “I know this isn’t part of your city tour.”
“If you must know,” Lil said frigidly, “I’ve fallen in love with your son.”
“He’s pretty hard to resist.”
Lil finally let loose and angrily asked, “Why? I can understand if you didn’t want to marry his mother. I’m surmising he was the result of an experiment for you, or her, or both, but to deny him as your child? I don’t get it―I would give anything to have a son.”
“Then why don’t you?” Grier shot back.
“Don’t you dare make this about me,” Lil hissed.
“I’m not,” Grier said. “I’m sorry. It’s such a long and convoluted story. I need time to explain.”
“I tol
d you I’d listen.”
“Now is not the time. Can we meet tonight after my shift?”
“Where?”
“Anyplace you want.”
“Take a cab to Bucktown.”
“They won’t mind that it’s so late?”
“Not if I let them know you’re coming,” Lil said.
Luca ran up to the pair and began tugging on Grier’s hand, trying to get him to quicken his pace. “Come on, you two. They’re going to milk a cow, and I want to watch.”
Lil smiled at the boy’s enthusiasm. “So do I, Luca. I’ve never seen that done before.”
They spent at least thirty minutes watching the milking, and Luca was enthralled by the entire process. “Where do they get the chocolate milk, Tito G?”
“From the brown cows,” Grier quipped.
“Oh, stop it,” Lil admonished. “They mix white milk with chocolate powder, sweetie. There’s no such thing as chocolate-producing cows.”
“Oh.” Luca’s tiny mouth settled into a moue of disappointment.
“Next you’ll be telling him there’s no Santa Claus,” Grier whispered into Lil’s ear.
“I believe in telling the truth.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a little fantasy,” Grier responded.
“You seem to subscribe to that theory quite well.”
“Don’t judge me until you’ve heard my side,” Grier blasted, turning furious eyes on him.
Lil remained silent after that. He really had no right to make assumptions, especially after Grier had asked for a chance to explain. Lil was experienced enough to know that life was never perfect, and some decisions were made on the fly. Shit happened, hence the expression, and who was he to get all Judge Judy on anybody. He reached for Grier’s hand and held it for a second. “I’m sorry.”
“Sure.” Grier’s face was devoid of all expression, which was a better alternative to the previous scowl. “Shall we go and look at the tigers, Luca?”
“Lionth,” Luca said, struggling, as always, to get the S’s under control.
“Right.”
THE REST of the afternoon passed without incident, a rapid blur of cages and animals and an excited Luca. He was particularly drawn to the large cats and insisted on staying while they were being fed. He showed no fear or revulsion as he watched the lions and tigers tear into the chunks of meat the keepers passed into the cages. “I love them,” he mused. “Do you think Mommy will let me buy a cat?”
“I have no idea, buddy. You’ll have to ask her.”
“I have a cat,” Lil commented. “His name is Sebastian.”
“Like Little Mermaid,” Luca’s voice was filled with wonder. “What color is he, Tito Lil?”
“He’s pure white with black socks.”
“What do you mean?”
“The bottoms of his legs are black as if he were wearing knee high socks.”
“Do you pet him?”
“It’s his favorite thing, Luca.”
“Maybe I can visit you someday?”
“Maybe.” Lil smiled. He looked at Grier and raised an eyebrow. “Who knows, right?”
“Never say never,” Grier mumbled.
They parted ways around four thirty, taking the traffic into consideration. The sooner Grier arrived for his shift at the Vinita booth, the sooner he could leave. Lil got down on his haunches to stare into Luca’s dark eyes. “I had a really good time today, Luca. Thank you for being the perfect tour guide.”
“A guide, Tito Lil?”
“It’s someone who shows the way.”
“I know my way,” Luca announced, dazzling Lil with his smile.
“Is it okay if I give you a hug, Luca?”
Luca threw his arms around Lil’s neck and squeezed as hard as he could. “I like you,” he whispered into Lil’s ear.
“I like you, too, sweetie.”
GRIER AND Luca got to the booth on time, despite the miles of traffic they had to endure. Enteng and Santino looked beat, having been under the blazing sun for the past six hours. “Hey,” Grier said, nodding at the men.
“Thank goodness you’re here,” Santino groused. “I’m ready for a beer, a shower, and my recliner.”
“Well, the cavalry has arrived. Where are Jake and Ali?”
“They’re on their way,” Enteng said. “I just talked to them on the phone.”
“Lolo,” Luca squealed, hurling himself at his grandfather, who waited with open arms. “I saw lionth, and cowth, and a red panda.”
Enteng grinned as he listened to his grandson stumbling over the words. “Is that right?”
“You think mommy will buy me a cat?”
“I don’t know about that, Luca. We’ll ask her when she gets here.”
Jake and Ali appeared shortly after with Jillian trailing behind them. “Where did you come from?” Grier asked.
“We stopped at the hospital to pick up Jillian.”
“Mommy,” Luca piped up, “can I buy a cat?”
“A cat?” Jillian looked at Grier. “What’s that about?”
“We came from the zoo,” Grier said.
Jillian moved closer to him and asked, “Did you take him by yourself?”
“No, I was with a friend.”
“One of your hookups?” Ali interrupted. “You shouldn’t be subjecting the kid to your men.”
“Mind your own business, Ali.”
“I’m just saying, Grier. You don’t want him to think it’s normal.”
“Excuse me?”
Jillian stopped Ali by putting her hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Ali. I trust Grier with Luca.”
“Grier,” Ali continued to lecture, “you need to start thinking about Luca’s perception of what’s right and wrong. He’s not a baby anymore, and we need to make sure he’s aware that two men in a relationship is not the norm.”
“Says who?” It took every ounce of self-control not to smack his brother in the face.
“Guys, come on,” Jillian begged.
“Since when does Ali have any say in Luca’s life?” Grier’s anger still simmered.
“Since Jillian and I started dating… I may end up being Luca’s daddy.”
Grier was so shocked he was speechless. He turned questioning eyes to Jillian, who looked embarrassed at Ali’s outburst.
“It’s premature to make that kind of statement, Ali.”
“I thought we had something going?” Ali queried.
Jillian leaned in and bussed his cheek. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?”
“Sure,” Ali said, smiling at her. “We’ll take it nice and easy, right?”
“Right.”
BY THE time Lil opened the front door and stared at a weary Grier, it was almost eleven o’clock in the evening.
“Sorry about the time. It took forever to close everything down.”
“It’s okay. I knew you’d be late.”
Grier appeared reluctant to cross over the threshold. Lil had to coax him with a gentle touch. “Come on, Grier, a nice cold beer is just what you need.”
“That would be great,” Grier replied, relieved when he saw that Lil was cordial and the earlier chill had thawed somewhat. He accepted the beer gratefully and followed Lil down the stairs to his basement suite.
“Talk to me,” Lil said after he threw himself on the bed. He patted the area beside him, and Grier perched gingerly. He took several long pulls of the beer before he could start speaking.
“Have you ever done something so colossally stupid you can’t bear to tell anyone?”
“People make mistakes all the time, Grier.”
“Luca is not a mistake,” Grier said fiercely.
“Hey, take it easy.” Lil gentled the sudden flare in temper by rubbing Grier’s jeans-clad thigh. “Luca is a wonderful child and could never be called a mistake. I apologize for my earlier comments, Grier, you don’t need to explain or justify anything to me.”
Grier relaxed visibly, moving a little closer to Lil, instead o
f bolting like a skittish animal. However, he continued to pick at the beer label, shredding it with his thumbnail until the bottle was clean.
“I’ve never shared this with anyone expect my mother, Lil. I don’t even know why I’m telling you.”
“Maybe you just need a listening ear.”
“But I’ve only known you for two and a half days, and yet―”
“There’s a connection,” Lil said, nodding. “I feel it as well.”
Grier took a deep breath and blurted out, “My mother cried when I told her.”
“Did she?”
“I told her about a month before she died.”
“Why did you wait so long?”
“I thought she’d get better. If I had known the outcome of her illness, I would have confessed a lot sooner.”
“Did she get to spend any time with him?”
“A few visits, certainly not enough to make an impression on Luca. He never asks about her.”
“You can tell him about his grandmother when he gets older.”
“I suppose.”
“Did your mom have any words of advice?”
“She told me to claim him regardless of the fallout.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“It would have destroyed a long-standing friendship between our families.”
Lil moved over to make room. “Come here,” he said, pulling Grier into his arms. He could feel the slight trembling in the long limbs and was honored that Grier was willing to divulge such a guarded secret. He hardly knew the man but could only imagine how difficult this journey must have been without anyone to guide him or share the burden of the guilt. The pain in Grier’s voice, and the terrible fear and hurt in the dark eyes, reversed Lil’s earlier opinion of him being a heartless man who could walk away from his responsibilities. He should have known that there was more to this story, and he felt terrible about making a snap judgment. After a few minutes, Grier began to talk again.
“I love Jillian,” Grier stated. “She’s funny, smart, and very brave.”
“And quite beautiful from the little I’ve seen.”
“That too,” Grier acknowledged. “She’s also a stubborn, selfish bitch who thinks she knows it all.”
“Whoa.”
“It’s true, Lil. Jillian decided that I was Ken to her Barbie when we were five years old.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 136