Perhaps it had to do with his upbringing, and the fact that his father had abandoned him as a child. Sure, his mother had remarried, and his stepfather was great, loving and caring for him as if he were his own flesh and blood. However, Lil always wondered what his life would have been like if his biological father had stuck around. Years of therapy had enabled him to work out his questions, and he’d emerged as a productive and happy member of society, without any major hang-ups, but he’d had the money, and the mother who understood his need to explore the reasons why he’d been left behind. He had no idea if Luca would be as lucky, and his personality and future hinged on a situation that could easily be resolved if only Grier would stand up to everyone.
LIL KISSED Grier on the lips and shut the cab door with a firm click, after promising to meet later on that evening. He took the concrete steps two at a time, anxious to get back into the warmth of the kitchen. It was cool at seven in the morning, and he was only dressed in lounging pants and a thin T-shirt. He knew it would warm up later, but for now, he was chilled and needed another cup of coffee. He also needed time to reflect on the past few hours.
Just as he stirred in the last spoonful of sugar, Jody and Clark walked in. “Is your boy toy gone?” Clark asked.
Lil nodded.
“Too tired to talk?” Jody teased.
“Why are you guys up so early?”
“Training,” Clark said. “I’ll be gone until three.”
“And you?” Lil addressed Jody.
“I always get up when he does.”
“Aww… you’re such a good wife.”
“Whateverthefuck.”
“Language,” Lil scolded. “What kind of professional are you?”
“The kind who would rather be in bed with his man.”
“Tell me about it,” Lil concurred.
“I’m outta here,” Clark said, brushing Jody’s lips with a swift kiss. “See you later?”
“I’ll be home by five.”
“’Kay. Love you, Jo-Jo.”
Jody wrapped his arms around Clark and held him for a second. “Love you, Kit.”
Lil sighed when Clark walked out. “You two are poster boys for true love.”
“Do I detect a note of sadness?”
“Maybe,” Lil shrugged. “I seem to find myself in the middle of a love affair that’s going nowhere.”
“Did you just say the L-word?” Jody’s shocked voice reverberated in the quiet room.
“I know it’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”
“Lil, come on. You’ve known him for what? Two days?”
“Three, but who’s counting. How many hours did it take for you to fall in love with Clark?”
Jody stared at Lil, remembering his instant attraction to Clark. “Okay, I’m listening.”
“Do you remember how I tried to dissuade you from getting involved with Clark?”
“If you’ll recall, I jumped on that suggestion.”
“Shut up, you dweeb. I need you to talk me off the ledge.”
“Obviously,” Jody replied. “What does this one have that’s so special? Christ, Lil, I know he’s gorgeous and all, but will he keep you mentally challenged? He moves furniture, for heaven’s sake.”
Lil forgot that Grier had mentioned something about being a mover when they’d first met. Since then, he’d learned that Grier was much more than a pack mule, and even if he were, his father owned the damn company. None of which Jody knew.
“Let me tell you about my brawny lover.” Lil proceeded to enlighten Jody with a ten-minute dissertation into the life and times of Grier Dilorio, leaving out the magnificently appealing lingerie kink. The very thought of Grier in red lace made his pulse jump, but it was nobody’s business but his.
“Well, shit,” Jody said when Lil was done.
“You know, you’ve developed a real potty mouth since you’ve moved here,” Lil noted.
“I’m around too many jocks.”
“My condolences,” Lil drawled, leaning over and smacking Jody on the arm playfully.
“Hey, be nice.”
“What am I going to do, Jodes?” Lil groaned and buried his face in his hands.
“What do you want to do?”
“Put him in my suitcase and take him back to San Francisco.” Lil looked up and grinned.
Jody laughed. “This is really unbelievable. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”
“Just because I’ve been a bachelor all these years doesn’t mean I’m excluded from the ‘happily ever after’ club.”
“Lil,” Jody said, switching tone. “In all seriousness, what are the chances that Grier will even consider moving? He’s got too much invested in this state.”
“You’re right. It’s a lovely fantasy that will remain unrealized.”
“Not unless something changes.”
“Such as?”
“I have no idea. Keep me posted, though.”
“Thanks ever so.”
“Do you want breakfast?”
“No, I think I’ll try and sleep for a few hours. I’m exhausted.”
“Do tell.”
“In your dreams, buddy.”
“You used to badger me all the time about divulging details of my sex life,” Jody protested.
“And, as I recall, you never said shit.”
“But you’re always so brutally honest.”
“Not this time.”
“Wow. You really do care about him, don’t you?”
“Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said?”
“Sheesh… I have no words….”
“Then let’s use your immortal ‘whateverthefuck’.”
BY THE time Grier got back to Elk Grove Village from downtown, it was seven forty-five, and Santino was already dressed and pacing. “Where have you been?”
“Out.”
“Well, go and get ready. We have a long day ahead of us.”
“Going,” Grier murmured. He hadn’t a clue how he would survive the next few hours after spending half the night making love. Once all the disclosures were out of the way, he and Lil couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and they’d gone another two rounds before falling into a deep sleep, only to be awakened by the alarm clock Lil had set for him.
“Meet someone new?” Santino queried as they finally made their way onto the I-90 west continuing onto the I-94 before merging onto US-53 north heading toward Wisconsin. They were moving a family from Mount Prospect, a suburb near Elk Grove, to Eau Claire, a five-and-a-half-hour drive. Grier wanted no part of it, but he was stuck and had to endure the ride, and the eventual output of energy. Fortunately, the other guys had loaded up the truck yesterday, so all he had to deal with was loading his Harley onto the vehicle, so he’d have it later on when Santino dropped him off at the Taste. He planned to sleep all the way after he played twenty questions with his father, who was more than happy to drive the monster truck, a job he still seemed to enjoy.
“Yes,” Grier mumbled.
“What does she do?”
“She’s a he, Dad.”
“What did you say?” Santino boomed, shocking Grier, who was half-asleep and too tired to realize he was outing himself.
“Oh, fuck.”
“I thought that monkey business was over and done with!”
“Not hardly,” Grier said, gearing up for a fight.
“You mean to tell me you’re still a queer?”
“Still?” Grier sassed. “Being gay is like being pregnant, Dad. Either you are, or you aren’t.”
“Goddamn it, Grier! I thought you’d put that all behind you?”
Grier bit his tongue, dying to say something vulgar in response to his father’s question, but he knew it would only get uglier and give the poor man a good reason to throw him out of the truck, and possibly his house. “Dad, this isn’t the time or the place to discuss this.”
“When are we going to talk about it? You’re hardly ever around.”
“I’m never aro
und because I’m working, and when I’m not working, I’m babysitting.”
“I know, but you and I never spend time together anymore.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
“What’s wrong with now?”
“I’m beat. I need to sleep, or I’ll be useless when we get to Eau Claire.”
“Too tired from messing around all night with your guy?”
“Let it go, Dad.” Grier sighed. He was so not in the mood for this shit. He had no idea why he’d outed himself. Maybe it had to do with Lil and his feelings for him, which were so intense Grier was at a loss. He’d never felt this way for anyone, and knowing that Lil would be leaving in five days was making him say and do things that were reckless. A case in point was this blunder, which was going to make this a miserable ride.
“I’m shutting up,” Santino grumbled, “but rest assured, this is not the end of it.”
“Sleepy…,” Grier murmured and turned away, leaning up against the window. He was out in a second.
The rest of the trip was uneventful. Santino was true to his word and didn’t bring up the subject again. They completed the move in less than two hours, a record for such a large load, but Grier was anxious to get back and moved like a man possessed.
He slept on the trip home, avoiding another round of questions, and had Santino drop him and his bike off at Grant Park before the big truck lumbered back to Elk Grove. Now that he’d had several hours of rest, he could think about the conversation with his dad and was actually relieved that he’d finally brought the subject out in the open. If nothing else, it would start a discussion, and who knew? A positive outcome might be possible, something he’d never anticipated.
The booth was packed with people clamoring for their taste of Vinita ice cream, and he squeezed in between Jillian and Jake and got to work. “Where’s Luca?” he asked Jillian.
“He’s with my mom.”
“Isn’t he coming?”
“Not tonight. You wore him out yesterday.”
Grier slanted a look. “We went to the zoo, Jill. How tiring was that?”
“Who is this Lil person he keeps talking about?”
“He’s a friend.”
“Luca was quite taken by him.”
“He’s a great guy.”
“Is this relationship serious?”
“Does it matter?”
Jillian shrugged. “Not really.”
“He’s picking me up at ten so you can meet him.”
“I don’t care, Grier.” Jillian turned and tossed her hair, a classic Jillian move guaranteed to get under his skin.
“Why are you so pissed?” He reached for her arm and pulled her back.
“Since when have you introduced Luca to your dates?” Jillian asked, glaring at him angrily. “I don’t like it.”
“Why?” Grier was instantly on guard. She’d never questioned him on who he dated or Luca’s care before, leaving him to babysit for hours on end without hesitation. Now, suddenly, he was suspect?
“I think Ali is right,” Jillian said. “Luca is older now and more aware of people. I don’t want you to subject him to your sexual preferences.”
“You know damn well being gay is not a preference.”
“Tomatoes, tomahtoes… it’s semantics, Grier. Bottom line is you suck cock, and I’d rather he not be exposed to your friends, or whatever you call them.”
Grier felt the blood rush to his head. He couldn’t believe she’d just said that. Although she’d never bought into the idea of his being gay, she’d never been disrespectful about it, and right now she sounded homophobic.
“We need to talk about this seriously.”
“Talk about what?” she asked innocently.
“About my rights.”
She laughed. “You have no rights, Grier.”
He dragged her over to the far end of the booth, where no one could hear them. “As his father, I have every right.”
“He. Has. No. Father.”
“Bullshit!”
“On paper it’s a big unknown, and that’s what counts in court,” Jillian challenged.
“Where is this coming from, Jillian?”
“I’m just protecting him, Grier,” Jillian’s eyes sparkled. “You don’t seem to care anything about his future.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Who is this guy you’re going out with? You’ve never had a relationship before, at least none you’ve brought around. Are you going to leave and make me fend for myself?”
“Is that all you’re worried about? Losing a babysitter?”
“No,” she protested.
“And since when have you and Ali become an item?”
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”
“Fuck!”
“I didn’t think so,” Jillian spat. “So what does it matter?”
“Anything that involves Luca is a matter of importance. Ali now thinks he’s an expert on childcare because he’s dating you? Has he ever offered to watch my son before this?”
“Stop calling him your son!” Jillian hissed, stepping so close he could smell her breath. She’d had hotdogs recently, and it made him nauseous. Still, he wasn’t going to back off.
“He is my kid, Jillian, and don’t fucking forget it!”
LIL COUGHED, breaking up what appeared to be a heated discussion between Grier and the young woman he assumed was the infamous Jillian. Grier looked relieved to see him and flashed a bright smile, whereas Jillian stared rudely.
“Jillian, this is my friend Lil Lampert.”
“Hi.”
She was as cool as the ice cream they peddled and studied Lil blatantly. Lil stood up to her scrutiny, accustomed to being judged or stared at by strangers who needed something or someone to feed their anger. He’d learned how to fend off the bad vibes years ago when he was at his most outrageous stage. Nowadays, he was more conservative, almost boring, to his way of thinking. He smiled sweetly. “How’s it going?”
“Fine.”
“I’m leaving,” Grier announced, getting ready to walk off.
“We’re not done yet,” Jillian protested.
“I am,” Grier said angrily. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He exited the booth and reached for Lil, who had his hand outstretched. They meshed fingers, and Lil stepped closer and kissed him lightly on his lips. “You okay?”
“I am now.”
Lil put his arm around Grier and they headed out to Michigan Ave. “You look tired,” Lil commented. You look pissed is what he really wanted to say, but he decided to give Grier his space.
“I’m beat. I haven’t stopped moving since I left you this morning.”
“Why don’t we do something relaxing instead of going out as we planned? I have no problem sitting in a hot tub with a tall beer. Do you?”
“That sounds like heaven right now. Won’t Clark and Jody object?”
“Grier, I’ve said this before. I’m their guest, and I can bring anyone over, besides, Jody knows how I feel.”
“About what?” Grier asked, turning his dark eyes on Lil.
Fuck me, did I just say that? “He knows I’m not much of a night owl anymore.”
“Okay.”
Christ. Next I’ll be getting on my knees and proposing marriage. “Were you and Jillian having words just now?”
“You could say that,” Grier snorted. “If you hadn’t shown up, we’d have gone all Jerry Springer on each other.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Later.”
“No problem,” Lil answered amicably.
“Hold on a second.”
“What’s the matter?”
“I have my bike with me.”
“I’m not riding it.”
“I know, Lil. I’ll follow your cab. Wait up, okay?”
Lil only had to wait about ten minutes before he heard the roar of the Harley and saw Grier braking in front of him, putting a foot down on the street for bal
ance. “You sure you won’t change your mind? I’ll let you use my helmet.”
“Hell no.”
“Suit yourself,” Grier said, smirking and looking every bit the badass in his leather jacket and black helmet.
Lil signaled a cab. Grier followed it to Bucktown, waiting for Lil to unlock the front door and disable the alarm. The garage door rolled up quietly, and he guided his bike inside and parked it beside the silver Land Cruiser. They navigated the stairs together and reset the alarm as soon as they locked the door. It was eleven in the evening, and the lights were off in the master bedroom.
Lil reached for Grier and drew him close, pressing him up against the length of his body. He kissed him on the lips, loving the way the younger man opened for him immediately. “I missed you today,” he sighed when they finally pulled apart.
“Me too,” Grier acknowledged.
The dark mood still lingered despite Grier’s favorable reaction to the kiss. He seemed lost in thought. When Lil lifted Grier’s chin to stare into the dark pools, they were guarded, so he suspended his amorous feelings for now with the hope that a few beers might relax Grier enough to share whatever was troubling him.
Lil grabbed the six-pack out of the refrigerator, and they climbed the stairs to the rooftop terrace, where the hot tub was located. It was hidden within the latticed confines of a gazebo designed for privacy. Grier had already dropped his jacket on the wooden deck and was tugging at the back of his T-shirt, pulling it off swiftly. Lil was mesmerized once more by the sight of the tattoos and perfect abs that rippled with Grier’s every move. His good intentions went up in flames as the blue lights from the hot tub cast alluring shadows on the glorious torso on display. “You are so fucking hot,” Lil sighed, unable to stay away for another second. He yanked Grier against his chest and buried his face in the soft skin around his neck. “I want you so bad I’m shaking.”
“I know,” Grier responded breathlessly, visibly aroused.
They began to strip without taking their eyes off each other. Lil loved the way Grier devoured him with his hungry gaze, making him feel like the most desirable man in the world. He knew he was attractive, and he worked damn hard to keep his body in good shape, but he worried about aging and losing his appeal, a natural concern for most people, but especially for a gay man who was surrounded by a section of society obsessed with youth. Grier’s obvious arousal was heady, and to feel it radiating from a man who was physically perfect in every way, and could have anyone he wanted, was, for Lil, the ultimate aphrodisiac. They came together, cock to rigid cock, and the kissing began in earnest. “Condoms…,” Grier moaned, pulling away. “I need to fuck you.”
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 138