Grier released her immediately and stepped back. His eyes narrowed, and he hissed, “Who are you?”
“Who the fuck are you!”
“I’m Luca’s father,” Grier said, “and it’s about time the world finds out.”
“Tread softly, queer boy. I’ve already made up my mind about Ali, and if you ruin this for me, there will be consequences.”
“Yeah, your perfect world will blow up in your face.”
Jillian stood by her car in her crisp white nurse’s uniform, her raven hair falling past her shoulders in a smooth veil. She was the epitome of professionalism, the caring and nurturing caregiver she’d set out to be, but now Grier knew that underneath the guise of compassion was a self-serving and conniving woman who’d been plotting her path in life with a ruthlessness he’d never contemplated until now. It was as clear as her flawless complexion—the beautiful woman he’d been friends with his entire life was no longer his friend. She was his enemy and determined to have her way regardless of his feelings.
Just before she pulled away from the curb, she rolled down the window and threw out one last remark. “Don’t even think about going to my parents, or Ali, because I have enough dirt on you to change everyone’s opinion of your self-sacrificing babysitting skills. They won’t let you within five feet of him.”
“What dirt?” Grier asked, clearly perplexed.
“Can you spell panties?” She smiled wickedly and drove off laughing.
Grier was so taken aback he couldn’t come up with a fitting rebuttal. Hot tears of helpless frustration stung as they filled his eyes and overflowed in a steady trickle down his cheeks. He swiped at them quickly, afraid to face Luca in such a state. The TV was blaring in the living room, and Luca sat on the floor, munching on the Rice Krispies Treat Grier had left out for him.
“What’s on the tube, buddy?”
“Fanboy and Chum Chum.”
“Cool. Tito G’s going to take a quick shower, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Luca?”
“Yeth?”
“Come and give me a giant hug, will you?”
Luca stood and began a running launch, waiting to be caught up in Grier’s arms. It was a move they’d perfected over the years, and Grier held his son, inhaling the clean smell of baby shampoo they still used on the silky black hair. He rubbed his scruffy cheek against Luca’s soft skin, careful not to mark him. “I love you, Luca.”
Luca pushed away and cradled Grier’s face in his small hands. “Love you, too, Tito G.” He stared into Grier’s moist eyes. “Are you thad?”
“No, buddy… I’m fine. Your hug is just what I needed.”
“I’m a good hugger.”
“I know you are.” Grier smiled and put Luca down. “I’m taking that shower now, okay?”
Luca ran back and flopped down in front of the TV.
The shower did nothing to improve Grier’s mood, but he put on a happy face for his son. They passed the next three hours in relative peace. Every time he thought about his conversation with Jillian, he wanted to break something. How could this have all gone so wrong? If his mother were alive, she’d know what to do. He had nobody to talk to except Lil who really had no business getting involved. The poor man would run for his life if he knew about Jillian’s threat. How could a private kink, which Jillian had started in the first place, end up being her secret weapon? It was wrong on every count, and it made Grier feel dirty, deviant, and altogether sick. He’d never get custody of Luca if the courts learned that not only was he gay, he was a little twisted, and the idea of Ali raising his child made his stomach churn.
Ali was the big mystery in this whole conundrum. When did he start looking at Jillian as a prospective life partner? He thought he knew his brother. They used to be close, and given their proximity in age, they could have been twins, easily able to read each other’s thoughts, but he’d never seen this coming. Had Ali been in love with Jillian all this time? It must have been galling to know that she’d been attracted to the queer when all along she could have had the “normal” brother, the successful metrosexual who had a loft apartment in the downtown Loop area and a great career.
He and Jake often teased Ali for his burning need to be number one, in school, in his career, even his wardrobe. He’d always wanted the best. While Jake was happy learning a trade in automotive engineering, and Grier dreamed about interior design, Ali planned on becoming the next Stanley Morgan. A life built around money was so repugnant to Grier that they started drifting apart long before Grier announced his sexual orientation. In retrospect he wondered if his admission had triggered Ali’s desire for Jill, knowing that he finally had a chance to win her affection since Grier was clearly not interested. They were very similar, actually, Ali and Jillian―overachievers and perfectionists. They would make the ideal couple and would turn Luca into a raging homophobic, money-grubbing, label-seeking, status-loving piece of yuppie shit!
His phone rang, and he looked at the caller ID and sighed. “Lil?”
They agreed to meet at the Taste around seven in the evening. John Mayer would be singing at the Shell tonight, and Lil was interested in attending the free concert. They would have dinner afterward.
“Did you have a good day?” Lil asked cheerfully before disconnecting.
“Yes.”
“You don’t sound very convincing.”
“I’m fine, Lil. I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, love I can’t wait.”
LIL STOLE another glance at Grier while spooning more of the spaghetti carbonara onto his plate. They’d decided to share the dish, but Grier hardly touched his meal, preferring to toy with the breadsticks instead. He was breaking them in halves, then fourths, and leaving a pile of crumbs on the white linen tablecloth.
“Are you going to talk about it before the crumb patrol kicks us out of this place?”
“Sorry?” Grier blinked at Lil owlishly.
“Sweetie, you’re physically present but mentally on hiatus.”
Grier shrugged. Lil could tell that he was in a terrible mood, but knowing so little about him put Lil at a disadvantage. Was Grier the kind of person you left alone to nurse his dark thoughts or should he coax him into sharing? He didn’t want to intrude. On the other hand, he wanted Grier to know that he was a good listener.
“I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready, Grier, but there’s no need to keep it bottled up.”
“Speaking of bottles… I’d like another beer.” Grier signaled the waiter and finally cracked a smile when another ice cold Budweiser was placed in front of him, companion to the two empty bottles the waiter took away. “Cheers,” he said, raising a hand at Lil and then sucking down half of the brew in a few gulps.
“Well, that’s one way of solving the problem. Moving into oblivion temporarily is always a good fix.”
“I don’t have to work tomorrow, so I’m entitled to tie one on if I’m in the mood.”
“Does this mean I’m going to have you all night?”
“Why would you be interested in spending the night with me? I’m lousy company right now.”
“You’re good, even at your lousiest.”
Grier snorted. “You can’t be that desperate.”
“Hey.” Lil reached across the table and laid his hand on Grier’s. “Where’s this coming from?”
Grier pulled his hand back and clawed at his spiky hair. “I’m not ready to discuss it.”
“Would you take me dancing?”
“What?”
“Please? The last time we got sidetracked. Maybe the music will put you in a better frame of mind.”
“I doubt it, but I’m willing to give it a shot.”
They finished their meal in silence, and Grier snatched the check when it was presented. He scowled at Lil, ignoring the proffered credit card, and laid a hundred-dollar bill in the leather sleeve instead. “I’m not a charity case,” Grier said angrily.
“No one said you were,” Lil argued. “I’m the one dragg
ing you here and there, so it’s only right that I pay.”
“I got a nice tip the other day so I insist on covering this.”
“Whatever you want,” Lil muttered.
THE CAB ride was awkward because Grier sat up front with the driver, leaving Lil in the backseat by himself. He had no clue what was going through Grier’s head, but this evening was not turning out the way he’d planned. The worst part was that he couldn’t penetrate the silent barrier. It was frustrating Lil, who’d always taken pride in his ability to cajole the truth out of anyone. The reality was that despite his feelings for Grier, they were strangers to each other. He didn’t know anything about Grier’s life other than the little he’d learned over the past few days, and that wasn’t much. He did know that Grier was a man on edge tonight, spoiling for a fight, and Lil got a sick feeling that he’d be the one to bear the brunt of his ugly mood.
They ended up at Rick’s again, and the first thing Grier did was head to the bar to get another beer for himself, and the salty dog Lil had requested. Lil figured he’d need some vodka to dull the pain of Grier’s strange behavior, or maybe this wasn’t so strange, and this was just Grier being Grier. For all Lil knew, that sweet and tender man he’d been spending time with in the last few days was just a cover for this intense individual who was wearing his antagonism like a dark cloak. He even looked menacing tonight, choosing to dress in full-out black leather regalia, without a trace of color to soften the image. And yet, despite the anger that radiated out of each pore, he was devastatingly attractive, and Lil couldn’t keep his eyes off the man.
Lil took the beer out of Grier’s hand and placed it on the counter beside his own drink. “Dance with me, love.”
The inky eyes glowered in protest, but he surrendered when Lil wrapped his arm around Grier’s waist and led him gently out on the dance floor. The music was a mix of contemporary pop hits and catchy enough for Lil to get caught up in the rhythm, even though the songs were unfamiliar. It had been several years since he’d been in a dance club, a minor thing he’d neglected to mention when Grier asked if he enjoyed dancing. The truth was he’d stopped going out altogether, tired of the meaningless encounters that flourished at these establishments. The men who frequented them weren’t interested in long-term relationships, and Lil was too impatient to handle the newbies. He’d been looking for something deeper and fell into this relationship with Grier in the most unexpected way. Yet to call it a relationship was premature. They were physically compatible, and Grier seemed interested in pursuing it, but that was yesterday. Tonight, he wasn’t so sure they wanted the same things, and even if they did, the odds of Grier moving to San Francisco were pretty slim. He was committed to Luca, which was to be expected, although Lil wished Grier would be more assertive and fight for his parental rights. It frustrated him to see this sort of injustice, but he had to hold his tongue because his advice appeared unwelcome and brought out a dark side to Grier he didn’t want to mess with. Lil hated to admit it, but it was time he realized this was only a holiday fling and would be over in a few days. When he walked onto the plane Monday, he might as well say goodbye to this sexy man who seemed lost in his own world right now.
The strobe lights bounced off the sexy brunet, who had his head tipped back and his eyes closed. Lil couldn’t stop staring, well aware that a lot of the men on the dance floor were angling for Grier’s attention. They bumped him, “accidentally,” pushing gyrating hips against Grier’s ass. They touched his bare arms and tried to part the dark vest that covered Grier’s torso, blatantly ignoring Lil’s presence. It had been a while since Lil had been with anyone this attractive, and he was surprised at the feelings of jealousy that washed over him in increasing waves, making his blood boil. He stepped closer to Grier and put both arms around his neck, virtually cutting off anyone else from getting too close. “Grier.” Lil’s voice cut through the hypnotic state, and the brunet opened his eyes and smiled.
“Hey.”
“Kiss me,” Lil demanded, eager to stake his claim.
Grier crushed his lips with a kiss that turned hot and hungry as the pulsating beat of the music matched their excitement. He sensed Grier’s arousal, and it was satisfying to know that despite their age difference, he could still tempt this most desirable man. Grier caressed Lil’s ass and drew him closer, grinding his leather-encased cock against Lil’s matching erection, which was easily discernible under the thin gabardine trousers.
“Want you.” Grier’s hot breath burned his ear and raised an army of butterflies in his stomach.
“I know.”
Grier danced them off center stage and into the hallway closest to the restroom. He imprisoned Lil within his arms as he leaned on the wall and continued to kiss and grind.
“Get a room,” someone remarked as he passed the couple on the way out of the restroom.
Grier slanted a glance. “Fuck off,” he barked, and he held Lil’s hand, pulling him into the restroom. He locked the door and shoved Lil up against the pressed wood, plying him with a series of scorching hot kisses that could have melted the paint off the walls.
Someone was beating on the door, yelling for them to unlock it, but Grier ignored the demands, sinking down on his knees. He tugged at Lil’s zipper, releasing the rigid organ which glistened with drops of precum. “Want this,” Grier moaned, swallowing around Lil’s cock. Lil closed his eyes and felt his lifeblood draining out of him as Grier sucked him forcefully. He came in hot spurts in a matter of minutes, transported to some heavenly place by the talented mouth that never stopped, even when he began to go soft. Grier continued to lick and nibble at the tender skin and didn’t get off the floor until the voices outside the door became unbearable and the insults had escalated.
“You, fucking loser! Open the goddamn door.”
Lil barely remembered much after that. He felt Grier release his cock and his zipper yanked up, but after that it was all sort of a blur. He heard the loud splinter of wood, and he felt the air rush past his cheek when Grier punched a hole through the closed door, and yanked the obnoxious screamer on the other side by his neck, trying unsuccessfully to drag his head through the tiny opening. Grier ended up slamming the jerk against the wooden door several times screaming, “I am not a loser” at the top his lungs. Grier’s rage had turned him into a terrifying stranger, and Lil had to forcefully pry him away from the poor slob who was yelling just as loud.
“Let him go, love. It’s not worth getting into so much trouble over words.”
“I’m not a fucking loser,” Grier shouted, clearly out of control.
“No one said you are.”
“That fucking bastard just called me one,” Grier said forcefully. His face was blotchy, and his right hand was bleeding at the knuckles, but the bewildered look in the dark eyes was the worst part, tripping Lil’s instinctive need to protect Grier and repair the damage.
“It’s okay, Grier. Everyone’s had a little too much to drink, and you’re both overreacting.”
“I’m suing, you motherfucker,” the injured man spat out, holding onto his head as if it would fall off. There were no outward signs of damage, so it was probably more an injury to his ego than anything else. Lil was certain he’d be able to iron out the legal threats with a few tactful words and a monetary contribution.
“Come on, love. Let’s get you out of here and into the manager’s office, away from prying eyes.”
By the time all the arguments had been dealt with, and the manager accepted Lil’s credit card as payment for any damages incurred, along with signed papers promising not to litigate, it was close to four in the morning. Grier hadn’t said one word since his outburst in the bathroom, allowing Lil to do all the negotiating.
They took a cab back to Bucktown, and Grier followed meekly up the concrete steps and waited while Lil managed the alarm. He stood in the middle of the bedroom like a child, allowing Lil to undress him without protesting. “Do you want something to drink?” Lil asked, before turning down the duv
et and drawing Grier onto the bed.
“Water, please.”
Grier’s voice was devoid of expression, as was his face. Lil remembered seeing this once before, after Jody had been bashed. It had taken a few days and several sedatives to snap his best friend out of his shocked state, and he supposed it would be the same with Grier. “I’m going to get you some water, okay? Give me a minute.”
“’Kay.”
Lil got into the elevator and pressed three, knowing he would startle Jody and Clark with this sudden intrusion. Thankfully, Jody’s emergency room training kicked in immediately.
“What is it?” he asked, after Lil let himself into the darkened master suite.
“Do you have any pain pills?”
“Why?”
“Grier’s been in a fight and needs something.”
“What kind of fight?” Clark interjected. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine, sweetie, but he’s a wreck.”
“Has he been drinking?
“Not for several hours.”
“I’ll give you one Vicodin, which should help the pain. I hesitate to give him anything else since he’s got alcohol in his system. Meet us in the kitchen when he’s asleep, and tell us what the hell happened.” Jody’s voice was filled with misgiving, but he handed over the pill because Lil had asked.
“Okay.”
Grier was still sitting on the bed in his underwear when Lil walked into the room.
“Here you go love, take this with the water.”
“What is it?”
“A happy pill.”
Grier shook his head and snorted in disgust but swallowed it anyway. “I’m sorry about this. I’ll leave as soon as it’s light out.”
“Don’t even think about it. Close your eyes and rest.”
Grier lay on the bed and covered his eyes with his forearm. Lil left the room as soon as he heard the snoring.
THE ESPRESSO roast had already brewed by the time Lil slid into his seat across from Jody and Clark at the kitchen table. He accepted the cup that Jody handed him and took a sip.
Dreamspinner Press Year Four Greatest Hits Page 141