A bitter taste settled in the back of his mouth.
*
“I got Elisabete placed,” Cole said, leaning back in his swivel chair, facing away from the door, feet propped on the desk corner. “She’s in this year, not next.”
Larry praised him, but the accolades only made his stomach churn.
“One thing’s been bugging me,” Cole said. “Why have you been so invested in Lizzie?”
Silence. “My son fathered Flora. Elisabete could have had him arrested for what he did to her.”
Cole closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I see. So this was nothing more than repaying a debt.”
He listened briefly while Larry summed up his troubled son, then quickly changed the topic back to Cole working wonders, though Cole’s gut churned over Lizzie’s ongoing hard-luck story. All the more reason to rejoice in having helped her move on. So why did he feel so bad?
“Yes, yes. I know, Larry.” He worked hard to hide his true feelings. “They don’t call me the Wonder Boy for nothing. Is there anything I can’t do? Sure. Listen, Larry, next time I’m in Boston you can buy me dinner.” Cole glanced up in time to see Lizzie standing in his doorway, having obviously not already left work as he’d assumed, and hearing his every word. The hurt and betrayal covering her face nearly knocked him out of his chair. She took off.
“Listen, I’ve got to go.” Cole hung up the phone, but Lizzie had already made it to the door. He chased her out of the building, not knowing what in the hell to say, but having to say something. She’d practically made it to her car when he caught up.
The hurt he’d glimpsed inside had turned to anger. “Dr. Rivers was behind this?”
“He wants to help you just like I do.” He didn’t dare step too close.
“You sounded like you’d worked a miracle or something.”
He studied his boots, speechless, deciding to be honest, because Lizzie deserved it. “He’s been invested in what’s best for you. I needed something to take my mind off your leaving. He offered me dinner, that’s all.”
That stopped her briefly, but the indignation quickly returned. “I hope you choke on that dinner.” She swung the car door open and got inside.
He stepped out of the way when she started the engine and backed out of her parking space. There was no stopping her, and he had nothing left to say. He’d just blown every bit of trust he’d earned from her.
*
There was no hiding the tension between Cole and Lizzie back at the ranch that night. She insisted on eating in her room, and he copped out to feeling relieved he wouldn’t have to face her again. Dad and Gretchen looked at him over dinner as if he were the grim reaper. He hardly touched his meal.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some matters to take care of in my room.” He pushed out his chair, preparing to get up.
“What’s going on?” Monty didn’t hesitate to ask.
Might as well come clean, though he’d been waiting for her to break the news. “Lizzie got a resident spot in Boston. She’ll be leaving this weekend, I suppose.”
“And you’re going to let that girl walk away?”
In what way did his father mean? Evidently he hadn’t done a very good job of hiding his feelings for her. “It’s out of my control,” he said as he tossed his napkin on the table, trying his best to act nonchalant. He left the dining room, but not before he heard his father’s final words on the matter.
“Like hell it is.”
*
He hadn’t been able to talk to Dr. Poles during clinic hours, but had arranged to call her that night. After bargaining with the Massachusetts General Hospital doctor over how best to provide for Lizzie without her knowing, he put his full attention to making arrangements for his upcoming trip to San Francisco. Anything to keep the sorry circumstances and the pain out of his mind. He booked a first-class flight and made reservations at a five-star hotel. It was after eleven when he heard Flora crying. He stopped briefly from updating his mobile-phone calendar to listen. The baby didn’t stop crying, and it was reminiscent of when she’d first arrived.
Had colic come back with a vengeance? Was Flora picking up on Lizzie’s tension?
He stood in his room listening, waiting, wondering what to do.
After five minutes the wails escalated. The poor baby sounded in pain. Gretchen had gone home for the night. Someone needed to help Lizzie. He opened his bedroom door and shot down the hall, and found Lizzie in the living room pacing the floor. Flora was safely secured, arms and legs dangling from the snuggly baby carrier wrapped around Lizzie.
Stress diffused from every inch of Lizzie’s body. Her brows pressed down, near panic shown from her eyes. “She’s got a fever, but I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She never got fevers with colic.”
“Did you look in her ears?”
“They seemed okay.”
“You want me to double-check?”
“She’s starting to calm down. I don’t want to upset her again.”
“What’s her temperature?”
“One hundred and two.”
“Did you give her acetaminophen?”
“A half-hour ago. It hasn’t made any difference yet.”
He wanted to go over to her, put his arms around both of them, to magically make things better, or at least help calm things down, but knew he’d only upset Lizzie more if he got close. So he stayed where he’d planted himself, and worried. “Anything going around at her child care?” He kept his voice level, unimposing.
“Gina didn’t say anything.”
“No cold or rashes?”
She just shook her head, exhausted and pushed to her limit.
“Let me take Flora for a while. Your back is probably tired.”
Lizzie looked torn, but her weariness won out. “Okay.” He undid the fastener of the baby backpack and slid it from her shoulders once she knew he had hold of everything. “Let me help you,” she said as she adjusted the straps to meet his bigger size, and he cupped little Flora’s bottom even though she was safely snug inside.
Without thinking, he bent and kissed her head, the fine black hair tickling his nose. He’d missed holding her, smelling her, wanting nothing more than to protect her from whatever it was that hurt. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ll figure something out here.”
Once Lizzie knew everything was under control, she sat in Monty’s chair, hanging her head in her hands. “I’m no good at this. She gets sick and I quit thinking like a doctor, go right into panicked, helpless-parent mode.”
Having never had a fatherly bone in his body, he’d learned a few things over the past few weeks. He knew babies liked to be walked around and lightly bounced or rocked. He also understood how precious a small child was, which nearly blew his mind, but mostly scared the daylights out of him. “It’s hard to be clinical when your heart is invested so much. Family members change things, so don’t be hard on yourself.”
“How am I going to handle being a single mother in that program?”
Why was she doubting herself now? She’d always given the impression of pushing full speed ahead at all costs. That she could handle anything in her way. Why was she suddenly questioning herself? Maybe because she’d grown since coming here, just as he had. Maybe he’d helped her see the importance of making the right choices. What she needed right now wasn’t a philosophical discussion on the matter. She needed support. “Same as you’ve handled it here. With backup. I’ve heard they’ve got child care for the hospital employees, even a sick bay for the little ones.”
“I won’t be able to af—”
“It’s offered for residents. The single mothers anyway.” So he lied just a little—hadn’t he already blown her trust? In Lizzie’s case, it was being offered. She didn’t need to know he was paying for it.
“Do you think she could have a bladder infection?”
She’d started grasping at straws, but if it was her way of coping he didn’t want to get in the way. “Tha
t’s a possibility.”
“Can we take her to the clinic and do a urine test?”
He stopped walking and rocking. “We’d have to catheterize her to get the specimen. You just said you get crazy when it’s your flesh and blood, and I sure as hell haven’t catheterized a baby since medical school. Are you sure you want to put her through that?”
Her face dropped with the prospect of having to wait until the morning with a sick baby, to find out what might be going on. Worry converged with fear and Cole suspected Lizzie might be on the verge of tears.
He snapped his fingers. “Hey, let me call Lotte. She’s a whiz at pediatric procedures.”
“It’s eleven-thirty. We can’t ask her to come in.”
“Sure we can. We just can’t demand she come in.” He took out his cell phone and dialed her number. “Knowing her, she’ll do it, though.”
Twenty minutes later, Cole turned off the alarm system at the clinic and let them all in. Lotte hadn’t hesitated an instant to offer to meet Lizzie and Cole to test Flora’s urine. He’d had a hunch it would work that way. As Lizzie removed Flora from the baby carrier, Lotte gathered her supplies and Cole stepped out of the room rather than watch. No way.
Within two minutes, and with minimal crying from the wee one, Lotte handed him a jar of urine out the door. “Go test that,” she said.
He dutifully took the specimen to the clinic minilab and dipped the test strip in it. Sure enough it was positive for nitrites, a byproduct of bacteria. “It’s positive,” he called out, then smiled when he heard Lizzie consult Lotte for what liquid-suspension antibiotics they had on hand. Practical as always, the nurse recommended a cephalosporin, right down to the amount per kilogram of Flora’s weight and the number of ccs needed per dose.
Lizzie gave Flora the first dose before they left, and as Cole and she were packed up and ready to leave, Lotte sent them off with one more tidbit.
“Now, don’t freak out when her poop looks maroon. It’s just a side effect of the drug.”
They both laughed with relief.
“Thank you,” Lizzie said, her confidence in mothering secured once again since her hunch had been right. She glanced at Cole and smiled for the first time since that afternoon before overhearing his phone call. “I know you said I needed to tap into the older nurses as great sources of practical information. Now I’m a believer. My God, she was a genius at catheterizing my baby. No way could I have done that.”
Not wanting to push their delicate circumstances, Cole simply nodded. He knew in his gut, as far as the two of them were concerned, he’d already stomped on any trust she’d developed in him, and that was something he couldn’t change. For now he’d settle for relief that little Flora was going to be all right as soon as the medicine kicked in.
*
Saturday had come sooner than Lizzie could imagine. She sat on the corner of her bed, nearly all packed, trying to ward off her emotions, praying she could keep control until she left. But she couldn’t help but go over the past twenty-four hours’ events. Yesterday, she’d been overwhelmed by the number of former patients who’d stopped in at the clinic to send their regards and give thanks. Even Valerie’s mother had made a special point to thank her for diagnosing and treating her daughter’s migraines with a sock-it-to-me cake. To the best of Lizzie’s understanding, everything but the kitchen sink was part of the recipe.
She’d come back to the ranch with her arms full of cooked and baked items, deciding to share them with the ranch hands rather than let them go to waste. Everyone’s kindness had nearly brought tears to her eyes at the clinic, but she’d fended them off…until it had been time to say goodbye to Lotte and Rita and the rest of the help at the clinic. The rush of tears had surprised her as she’d hugged each person goodbye. It hadn’t taken long at all to get attached to them, almost as if she belonged there.
Lotte had grabbed her and held tight. “You’ve got what it takes, Dr. Silva. We could use more doctors like you around here.”
Coming from the crusty older nurse, it had meant the world and gave her confidence she could handle the residency in Boston, too.
When she’d picked up Flora from daycare, a second stream of tears had sprung, forcing her to realize how much she trusted and liked Gina, who’d started out as a patient and had quickly become a friend.
She’d miss Cattleman Bluff more than she could imagine.
Lizzie smoothed her hand over the comforter on the bed. She couldn’t allow herself to think about Cole. This interim assignment was over, she’d gotten more out of it than she could ever have hoped for or dreamed of and now it was time to leave. Heck, packing and leaving had been her specialty growing up. Plus she’d always been good at hiding her emotions when it came time to leave. She could do this. Hell, she had to!
Now, of course, it took longer with packing for two, plus adding all the times she’d had to stop to dry her eyes. Thankfully Gretchen took Flora for her while she finished.
She came to the gorgeous blue dress in her closet and her thoughts shifted. She’d thought Cole was a man with great potential, but had changed her mind now. Sure, he was a brilliant doctor, but he fell far short of the mark as a son, and pity any poor unsuspecting woman who dared to fall for him. Like her. His disconnect with his feelings was beyond repair and there was nothing she or anyone else could do to fix it. Nope. She’d learned that lesson early on with her mother’s drug addictions. That task would have to be his and his alone.
Forgetting about herself for a moment, she switched her thoughts to Tiberius and Cole, and she said a little prayer they’d work something out soon, before it was too late.
She glanced at her watch. Five more minutes and the packing was done. She dreaded having to face Tiberius and Gretchen for the last time, not to mention Cole. Oh, God, she couldn’t go there. Not just yet. The dull ache she’d been carting around all morning in her chest suddenly pushed up a notch. She used her palm to massage the area between her breasts. Prickles started behind her lids. Again. Leaving a place where she’d grown to feel completely welcomed would be the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. After saying goodbye to Cole.
Leaving the man she’d accidentally fallen in love with would take every ounce of courage she possessed. Did she have enough? To save face she’d do everything in her power not to let on about her truest feelings. No matter how hard or seemingly impossible. She patted her cheeks and took a deep breath. Keep it together, you have to. Then rolled her baggage into the living room.
Cole was quick to relieve her of that duty. “I’ll put these in the car,” he said, not making eye contact, and for that she was grateful.
Gretchen had already started crying, even while holding Flora on her hip. “This place is going to feel so empty without the two of you, Elisabete.” She reached for Lizzie’s head and pulled her down to her level, then kissed her cheek. “I’ll miss you. Please come back to see us.”
Lizzie had to be honest. “I’ll see how that goes. I can’t promise anything right now.” Tears streamed down her cheeks and she wiped them away with both hands. “I’ll miss you, too. But I’ll keep in touch online and I promise to send pictures and videos of Flora, okay?”
Gretchen hugged Flora close, snuggling her neck and kissing her chubby cheek. “I’m going to miss you so much, sweet potato. Don’t forget your old granny Gretchen.”
The two women circled Flora for a group hug and cried until they both felt embarrassed, then laughed uneasily and wiped at their wet faces. What else could they do? She had to leave.
“Are you about done?” Tiberius waited impatiently for his turn. “Come over and say goodbye to me, girlie-girl. We haven’t got all day.”
Lizzie turned and wandered into Monty’s surprisingly open arms, unable to turn off the faucet. He hugged her as if he was a bit out of practice. When his mouth was close to her ear he said in a low voice, “Don’t forget our little talk.”
“I won’t. I promise. How can I thank you for everything?”
/>
“By being happy. Make that little one a happy home, okay?”
She hugged him like a sloppy drunk, I love you, man, not caring what he thought. “Yes, sir.”
Tiberius’s eyes watered when she pulled back her head, and she read every bit of sincerity in his wish for her just by looking into his craggy old face. So this was how it felt to be loved. Wow.
“I hate to break things up—” Cole’s cautious voice cut through their moment “—but you’ve got a plane to catch.”
She couldn’t deny the truth. Maybe they’d have some time to talk things through on the drive to the airport, because it would be completely awkward otherwise. She hoped they would anyway.
He took Flora from Gretchen’s hip and led the way out the front door…to a limousine?
“I’ve already put her car seat in place in the back.”
Was the man serious? He wasn’t even going to drive her to the airport?
Lizzie wanted to kick her own butt for being so stupid and hopeful. She’d actually thought she’d gotten through to him on some level, but his calling a car service to drive her off his property, the same way she’d arrived, proved that the only thing inside his chest was a cement block.
Well, two could play this ridiculous game. Egged on by anger, she shored up every last nerve and willed herself not to react. “Okay. Thanks.” She refused to look at him as she got into the back of the town car. Only after she sat did she glance his way.
To his credit, he did look sad…ish. The one last thing she’d have to do was chuck every single good feeling she’d let sneak through her usual barriers for Cole and keep this goodbye strictly business.
“Thank you for giving me a job when I needed it the most.” Even if it was only because you had to. “I’ll never forget it.” Or you. “Or Wyoming.”
“You’re welcome.” His voice gritty, his hand grazed her fingers as he closed the car door, then, rather than move it away, as she expected, he covered her hand briefly with his, his warmth quickly spreading up her arm and fanning out across her shoulders. “I know I’ve been an ass, but I will miss you.”
Father for Her Newborn Baby (Cowboys, Doctors...Daddies) Page 15