‘And yet your sleeve is down.’ Mae held her bare arm aloft.
‘Uncool by association isn’t enough. You need to shame yourself down to our level.’
With that Sail stood on his chair, then climbed onto the table.
He held Mae’s eye as he rolled up the sleeve of his jacket.
Talk died as heads craned to see the word printed on his wrist.
‘I hereby declare myself a Forever. And though there is no official leader, if you want in, you need to speak to Mae …’
‘Cassidy,’ Felix said, grinning.
‘Mae Cassidy. If you’re not with us …’
‘Okay, arsehole,’ Mae said.
Sail winked at her, then hopped down and walked out of the room, eating his apple.
‘He seems … nice,’ Felix said.
Mae shrugged.
Felix grinned.
‘What?’
‘You like him too.’
‘He’s pretty and rich and soft. And I’ve got bigger things on,’ she said.
‘Abi?’
‘I’m going to find out what happened to her.’
‘Sergeant Walters didn’t get too far, so where do we start?’
Mae glanced across the cafeteria. ‘It’s usually the boyfriend, right?’
18
She saw the girls outside the church.
They stood together, hand in hand, their backs to the entrance.
The tall girl was the first to speak. ‘I’m Matilda.’
‘And you’re Betty,’ Mae said.
Betty smiled but took a step back into the shadow cast by the cross.
‘Reverend Baxter thinks we’ll burn,’ Matilda said. Her hair was dark, pixie short.
Betty was surfer blonde, softer, shy. ‘We’ll be at the beach. Every night. We’ll be there.’
Mae watched them leave.
She found Theodore inside.
The air cooled, the heat of summer edged off beneath the towering stone and painted glass.
Mae took a seat at the back, alone, only a handful of others were scattered around as Sally Sweeny played the old organ.
Mae watched them sing, their voices one, till Theodore stepped forward and stole all the light in that quiet way he did. His voice soared, filled the cavernous space and brought tears to the eyes of Miss Holmes, the music teacher, who sat there and watched Theodore like she’d caught a glimpse of heaven and realised death was nothing to fear.
‘Laudate dominum …’
‘The boy can sing,’ Reverend Baxter said, as he settled in beside Mae.
‘That’s what they say.’
She looked at Felix’s father, his kind eyes and the way he tapped his foot slightly, like a tremor was shaking the floor beneath him.
‘I’ve been hearing things, Mae.’
She watched the flickering candles.
He cleared his throat. ‘What Abi said, it … it was powerful in its way. I don’t like the idea of us and them.’
‘There are those who believe, and those who don’t. You should know that better than anyone.’
‘I spent a long time shadowing the old vicar before I took over. There’s room for questions, even for doubt. I speak of forgiveness and that’s –’
‘Some things are unforgivable.’
He looked sad then, but managed to nod. There was a lot she could have told him, maybe asked him why God could forgive repenting murderers but he himself could not forgive his son’s lack of belief.
‘I do worry about him,’ he said, quiet, reading her.
‘You should.’
‘He was always a strong-willed child.’
‘He’s still strong. Did you see what he wore to school today?’
‘I know he’ll be happier when he finds God.’
‘They say faith is blind.’
‘Do you pray for Abi?’
‘Do you?’
‘Of course. And I pray for you, Mae. Do you ever visit your parents’ grave? I think it might help you. I know that you’ve struggled. I’m here for you.’
‘I know where I belong, Reverend Baxter.’
He smiled again, touched her hand and moved off.
She spotted Sullivan Reed sitting in the far corner, his head bowed. Maybe this was where they came, those who didn’t fit.
‘Isn’t Theodore sublime?’ Jeet Patel said, as he stopped beside Mae.
Sally’s words came back to her, Jeet Patel being the eternal understudy.
‘The Forevers – that was beautiful, Mae. I can only dream of a world like that.’ He smiled again and moved to the front as the Sacreds filed out.
Only Theodore remained.
He didn’t notice her, sitting beside the arch, so small she paled into the stone. She was about to walk over when he dropped to the stone floor so hard she heard the crack of his knees echo. She thought of the bruises, the cuts across them that day on the bus.
He bowed his head low, clenched his eyes closed in a prayer she could almost feel.
Something about the desperation, the pleading, made her think of Abi. Theodore was atoning.
Mae waited for him to finish.
Blood trickled down his shins but he made no move to wipe it. He took a seat beside her, before the heavy cross, the depictions.
‘Hunter said you didn’t want to sleep with Abi. But I think you did.’
‘You’re back to this?’ he said.
‘I’m just getting started.’
‘You don’t understand.’
‘Then make me.’
‘My parents liked her. They liked that I had a girlfriend. And that she was in the choir. Abi … she was everything. We used to play church songs, she got us into Nirvana.’
Mae almost smiled.
‘I loved Abi. People didn’t get it, and that’s all right, but I saw something in her that I needed. And she gave it to me. And you want to make it about sex, but it was so much more than that. It was something real to us, in a world where kindness is getting lost.’
She watched him speak, the way he looked at the cross. ‘Sex … we didn’t have sex. We’re seventeen, Mae. We are capable of something different.’
She thought about what she’d found in Abi’s room, the way Abi had scored out Theodore’s initials in the desk.
‘You broke up.’
‘I think she was seeing someone else.’
She heard the faintest trace of something harder before he caught it, reined it in.
‘There’s no hatred, we don’t marry the people we’re with at school. It’s fine.’
‘No one wants to be rejected, Theodore.’
He took a breath. ‘There’s a bigger picture. What we desire in this life –’
‘Who was she seeing?’
‘I didn’t ask. Does it even matter? She changed, she lost her … she was just lost. I tried to help her but she … she was quiet. She drank more.’
Above them the church bell shook the building.
‘You know she saw you on the beach, Mae. She’d walk to the window in her new bedroom and see you sitting down there alone.’
For a year she waited for her friend to come back to her, waited by the dark water, some nights in the rain, the howling wind, the biting snow.
He stood, the blood on his knees had dried dark. ‘Those girls outside, they never come in.’
‘Your god doesn’t make them feel welcome.’
He smiled, like she’d disappointed him, then walked away.
‘Theodore.’
He turned by the door.
‘What were you praying for?’
‘The same thing everyone is. Forgiveness.’
19
Sail stopped by the big door, like he didn’t want to take another step.
Mae watched him, the careful way he moved.
The floor was stone, the mourners had lit candles. He glanced up and around. ‘This town, everything is so beautiful.’
His eyes dropped to hers, his pupils large.
Maybe
she wanted to kiss him as the saints frowned down on them and the floor opened to fire.
Felix wore a hooded top, his face so drawn it was like he’d already crossed over.
Sail stood at the top of the pulpit as Mae took a bottle of communion wine and a silver goblet.
She stared at the cross. ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, and am likely to again.’
Mae passed the goblet to Sail, who drank liberally. ‘AD 30, that was a vintage year.’
‘You need to sleep,’ Mae said, glancing at Felix.
Felix rubbed his eyes on cue. ‘Two hundred and sixty-four hours – that’s the record. I’m closing in on sixty.’
‘At least take a drink.’
‘Can’t mix it with the pills. Damn near shat the bed last time.’
‘Felix is trying to stay awake long enough to learn everything. And I mean everything,’ Mae said to Sail.
‘Knowledge is power,’ Sail said into the microphone, then raised a fist.
‘At the moment I’m just looking for a way to get Candice to notice me.’
‘I thought we were Forevers,’ Sail said. ‘We’re not invisible anymore. Tell us the plan.’
‘Ten Things I Hate About You. Three years ago Candice rented that movie and kept it for six weeks, racking up a decent fine. You know what that tells me?’
‘That she lost it?’ Mae swirled the goblet.
‘It tells me she wants a grand gesture, an all-singing, all-dancing promposal spectacular.’
‘Shame you can’t sing or dance.’
‘Firstly, I’ve been listening to Barry White since I was a kid. The Walrus of Love is inside me.’
‘Jesus,’ Mae said.
‘And, secondly …’ Felix stood and began to gyrate.
Sail nodded.
‘She also rented Dante’s Inferno and Backdraft. You know what that tells me?’ Felix said. ‘The girl likes fire.’
They emptied into the graveyard, dodging the gravestones as night fell. Above they heard the steady buzz of electricity lines.
Felix led them to Ocean Drive, where Sail headed into the white house alone.
Mae and Felix leaned against the wall.
‘This kid’s richer than God,’ Felix said. ‘You chose well.’
‘I didn’t choose –’
‘You know it’s okay to actually like a boy, Mae.’
‘I don’t do boyfriends.’
‘You just do boys.’
‘Meaningless sex.’
‘That’s an oxymoron.’
‘Spoken like a true girl.’
He looked at the sky. ‘People are still working. We’re still at school.’
‘What’s the alternative?’
He shrugged. ‘It’s like we’re stuck in some alternate reality. One day the world is turning, and then next … damn. Why don’t I feel anything? When I go to church …’ Felix swallowed. ‘Why can’t I tap into the higher power. Maybe I’m too young. I’m emotionally retarded.’
‘You cry every time you read a book.’
‘I fell in love like you fall asleep.’
‘In forty-five minute bursts?’ Mae said.
‘Petrol, just like you ordered.’ Sail said, an apparition in the dark, he carried a small plastic jug. It sloshed as he walked.
‘You want to tell us the plan now?’ Mae said.
The smaller gate was open and Felix led them down the side of the large house and into the garden behind.
‘That’s her window,’ Felix said, and pointed.
‘I’m afraid to ask how you know that,’ Mae said.
Felix got to work. He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and gripped a small penlight between his teeth. Then he set about carefully pouring the petrol over designated patches of grass.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Mae said, as the rich smell of petrol filled the air.
‘I saw it online. Fire writing. Candice comes to her window and sees our names flickering beneath the stars.’
‘And then she runs out screaming as fire rushes towards her house.’
Felix waved her off. ‘Controlled burn. When she comes down I’ll drop to my knee and give her the flowers. Sound good?’
‘You don’t have flowers,’ Mae said.
Sail looked around, saw a rose bush and snapped it at the base. He handed the plant to Felix, who took a deep breath and nodded.
Mae and Sail crouched together, side by side, his arm touching hers.
She looked at the shape of his face, knew without question he fit.
Matches flared against the dark.
The letters ignited as Candice appeared at her window, mouth slightly open as her face glowed in the flame light.
‘She’ll see him now,’ Sail said.
‘Seeing him and actually –’ Mae stopped as she noticed the smell, kind of chemical, and then smoke, darker than she had ever seen. She bent down and touched the grass.
‘This isn’t grass.’
‘What?’
‘It’s fake grass.’
She felt the heat as sweat began to run into her eyes.
Felix glanced back at them.
‘It’s spreading,’ Mae said.
Flames grew high and gathered like a wall. A light breeze sent them rushing towards a timber summer house, which ignited in seconds.
‘Controlled burn,’ Mae said.
Felix puffed his cheeks out, a slight puzzled frown on his face.
Fire crawled and spread and thundered, thick smoke billowed, black against ink sky, the smother so thick not even moonlight could make it through.
They walked over to where Felix stood, the rose bush limp in his hand.
‘What do we do now?’ Felix said, panic creeping into his voice.
Sail surveyed the blazing shed. ‘We run, man. We run.’
They sprinted out into the street and separated. Felix and Sail headed back up Ocean Drive while Mae cut into the small copse outside another towering mansion.
Before long gates began to open as neighbours came out into the street and clustered around Candice’s house.
She could hear the crackle of the fire as people gasped. A dog ran by her, spooked as it bolted into the street behind.
She saw Hugo there in board shorts, the bruises on his body expertly hidden.
Mae watched as Luke Manton staggered up the street holding a half-empty bottle.
She watched in shock as he caught sight of someone in the crowd and began to shout. There was a struggle, and he dropped the bottle.
He looked wild, screaming and cursing.
A couple of guys held him back, but Hugo remained rooted to the spot.
‘If I see you again, I’ll kill you,’ Luke Manton said, as he was slowly led away.
It was only as the distant call of sirens was heard that the group thinned a little and Mae could see the person Luke had attacked.
He stood there, unflustered, his eyes locked on Luke as he trailed into the distance.
Jon Prince.
Hugo’s father.
20
Mae woke to the smell of burning, raced from her bed and down the stairs.
She caught it just in time, the flames licking the edge of a pan as she took it into the garden and dumped it on the stone path.
She doused it with the hose, watched it sizzle and die before she realised it was bacon, the pack still sealed, the plastic warped and blackened.
Then she searched for her grandmother, in her bedroom, the living room and even the crumbling garage beside their house.
Mae checked Stella, saw her sleeping so made the decision to head out to the end of the street.
It was early, West slept. Mae scanned the road; her grandmother had not left the house in months.
Down through town, shops still shuttered, fishing boats crept from the marina, men standing on the deck as they headed towards the horizon.
Mae cursed under her breath.
And then she heard laughter coming from the beach. She ran do
wn the slope, crossed the sand and saw a cluster of kids seated around a dying fire, empty beer bottles, a radio playing as Mae followed their eyes to the old woman, waist deep in the water and staring at the sky.
The sea was cold as it filled Mae’s shoes and crept up her jeans.
‘Grandma.’
‘Is it true, Margaret?’
Mae heard more laughter, closed it off and gently placed an arm around her grandmother’s shoulder.
‘It’s cold, Grandma. You’re shivering.’
‘But is it true?… Is there something bad in the sky? I was watching the news this morning, and they said … Well, I won’t tell you what they said because I don’t want to upset you.’
Mae watched the last of the trawlers.
‘I can make us eggs for breakfast.’ Mae gently led her back towards the shore.
Her grandmother snatched her hand away, Mae caught a rock and fell heavily, for a moment the water covered her face before she climbed to her feet.
The laughter grew, but then Mae saw one of the group splinter and head towards her.
Hugo stood there, his skin golden in the first light.
Behind him Hunter lay on the beach and smirked.
‘Are you okay?’ he said.
She turned her back on him, the water dripping from her hair as she followed her grandmother up the beach.
Stella still slept, the smallest mercy as Mae helped dry her grandmother and get her back into bed.
Mae made eggs and when Stella came down they ate them in the garden beneath an apple tree their father had planted when Mae was six years old.
‘I need to take in a baby photo, for the memory capsule. We’re going to bury it and in a million years the new people will find it.’
‘New people?’
‘Miss Hart told us about evolution. It happened once, it can happen again.’
‘Is she the one that smells of wine?’
‘Mae,’ Stella said, quietly, ‘some of the other kids, their parents are going to dress up for the show. Like they’re going to the ball.’
‘Eat your toast.’
‘Miss Hart said it would be special.’
‘And your egg.’
Stella wore denim dungarees with a flower on the pocket and hockey socks pulled up high over them.
‘I know you wear black but –’
‘You want me to wear all pink and spend my last day looking like an actual arsehole?’
The Forevers Page 9