Fuck, now I knew what Charlie felt back when she was a regular teen girl crushing hard on a celebrity. But, I wasn’t a fifteen-year-old girl who never had a boyfriend. I was a grown ass man about to ‘fangirl’ a dude I just met.
“Shit.”
Beau shifted, and I stilled, praying he didn’t wake up. I needed to get the hell out of here and clear my mind. One night didn’t make a relationship, and there was still so much I didn’t know about this guy. I closed my eyes and counted to five before I gently eased my hand away from his head. It wasn’t an easy feat, especially with him only snuggling closer when I jarred him. Eventually, after several minutes passed, I managed to get my arm back. It was my luck that he slept like a log.
I eased out of bed and searched for my boxers to contain my floppy dick. I found it hanging off the edge of the bed and pulled it on. I retrieved my clothes from the chair he had placed them on earlier and dressed. Shoes in hand, I made a beeline for the door, wanting to get out before he woke up and caught me trying to sneak out. I had to leave before he woke up to avoid the awkward conversation that sure would follow. Beau was an openly gay man, and as far as the world knew, I was a straight male with two kids in high school. Coming out of the closet couldn’t be done overnight. At least not for me anyway. I couldn’t imagine what my kids would think, my employees and my parents. There was too much at stake.
With a last lingering look at the man who had given me a little piece of heaven tonight, I left his bedroom. I didn’t want to go but what other choice did I have? A glance at my phone revealed it would be light out soon.
All through the drive to my house on Dahlia Drive, I wondered if Beau had already noticed I was gone. Would he even miss me, or would he be glad that I’d saved us both from having the morning after sex conversation? In any event, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep with him through the night until morning. I had to get Charlie to school and find something for Ollie to do while he was on suspension. I would take him to the office and put him to work. Staying at home and not doing anything was precisely what he wanted, so giving him a suspension played right into his hands.
As I drove up to the garage, I noticed a single light was still downstairs. I parked inside the garage and used the interior door that attached the garage to the house, to get inside. I immediately went to investigate the source of the light and found Charlie, fast asleep lying on the sofa in the living room. Her long blond hair trailed from the couch to the floor, and the blanket she had was more on the floor than on top of her.
My first instinct was to wake her and send her to bed, but I refrained. She had just about two hours left before she would have to wake up for school anyway. The poor girl also suffered from nightmares. Many nights I lay in bed and heard her cries. I used to go in to hush her as she cried in my arms, but it became too much for me seeing her still so devastated after so long. It was getting better for her, but mostly the death had robbed her of her happiness. She reacted to her mother’s absence so differently from Ollie, but she suffered no less. At least she was open to going to the therapist, but the therapist had reported she rarely made any attempt to open up, so the sessions ended up wasted.
I fixed the blanket under her chin then turned off the television. I turned on the light in the kitchen to give her some light in the event she woke up to the darkness. She had taken to sleeping with a night light again. I checked in on Ollie who was asleep in his bedroom upstairs. I did so several times these days because he wasn’t beyond sneaking out when everyone else was in bed. I was relieved to find him sleeping on top of the covers, still fully dressed in the same outfit he had worn to school that day. His room was a mess, full of posters on the wall of famous basketball players, cars and women in bikinis. I’d given up trying to get him to take down the pictures of the women. He only put up more anyway. At least he’d taken down the worst ones.
Strewn on the floor were Ollie’s clothes, and because I wouldn’t be able to get any more sleep, I picked up his clothes and decided to do laundry. I loaded the washing machine then took a shower because Beau’s scent was driving me crazy. Once inside the bathroom, with the water cascading over my body, I couldn’t propel him from my mind. I wanted to see him again, and the desire was strong. We hadn’t exchanged numbers though and although I knew where he lived, I could never pop up unannounced. What if he had someone else over?
My dick grew hard thinking about him and the way his ass had felt pressed against my front like that. I liked his hard, toned body against my own, his broad back pressing into my chest. I wanted to suck him off too and now regretted that I hadn’t. The way he had swallowed my cum had been such a turn on. I wrapped my hand around my cock and stroked myself, my mind consumed with thoughts of Beau. I replayed the scene in my mind, the way his tongue had run over the length of my cock, the suction of his mouth, the excited moans he made while I held his head and thrust between his lips.
“Fuck, Beau!” I groaned, my ass clenching as jizz sprayed all over the floor. I collapsed against the wall, allowing my body to recover from the climax that had wrung it out and given it back to me still wanting more. With Beau.
“Shit, Gordon. Get your head straight,” I mumbled and continued my shower. I had my kids to think about. Going all the way with Beau couldn’t be my priority right now.
By the time I finished laundry and tidied up the house, it was already light out. I started on breakfast, while I heard Charlie padding around, getting ready for school. I knew her routine by now. She would walk around in a daze for about fifteen minutes until she was fully awake, then take her shower. While the bread was toasting, I ran up the stairs and knocked on Ollie’s bedroom door.
“Ollie, wake up.”
“I’m still sleeping,” he argued, his words muffled through the door.
I twisted the handle and pushed the door open. He dragged a pillow over his head, still in the same position he had been in when I checked on him earlier. “Hey, it’s time to get up.” I jerked the pillow from his head and dismissed his growl of displeasure.
“Why do I have to get up?” he asked. “I don’t have school. Remember?”
“I wish I didn’t have to,” I answered, hardening my voice. “You’ve half an hour to get up, take a shower, dress, and find yourself downstairs.”
He raised his head. “Why? Where am I going?”
“To work with me,” I answered.
“What? Why can’t I stay here? I won’t go anywhere. My friends are all at school anyway.”
I shook my head. “Not gonna happen, bub. You’d like that way too much. You’re going to work with me today and the rest of days that you are on suspension.”
“You’re not the boss of me,” he grumbled, glaring at me.
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Wanna say that again?”
He knew better than to repeat. I could feel myself crumbling slowly inside to give in to what he wanted, but that would not help him. I headed for the door before I gave in and told him he could stay at home.
“Thirty minutes, Ollie,” I reminded him.
“I heard you the first time.”
Back in the kitchen, I held my breath, hoping this wasn’t the morning he would test me. Without meaning to, my thoughts shifted to Beau. What was he doing now? Was he thinking about me? He was probably pissed that I’d sneaked out without even returning the favor of giving him head too. Or, maybe he was glad to be rid of me. I’d behaved like an awkward teenager getting laid for the first time.
“Something’s burning.”
I jerked back to the present at Charlie’s comment as she entered the kitchen. I flushed with embarrassment then calmed down as I turned the eggs. She didn’t have a clue what had me spaced out so no need to be embarrassed.
“How’d you sleep, Charlie?” I asked her, sharing a plate of toast, eggs, and sausages for her.
“Okay,” she answered with a shrug. She made a face at the plate. “I’ll just have orange juice.”
I inhaled a deep breath f
or patience. She was already too thin since she lost weight from her mother’s death. “You’ve to eat something before going to school, honey.”
“But I’m not hungry.”
“At least eat the toast,” I urged and poured her the orange juice. I placed the glass before her and continued in a much softer tone. “You’ve lost a lot of weight.”
She didn’t respond, and I was saved from continuing the discussion when Ollie walked into the kitchen. I tried not to let my relief show. He had a sour face, but at least he had shown up and on time too. Unlike Charlie, he had no qualms about eating. He dug into his breakfast while tapping away on his phone. I made myself a plate and watched them while I ate. Memories of the laughter that used to be in this kitchen were fading fast. Soon I wouldn’t remember what it was like to have happy kids.
“There are going to be some changes around here,” I announced, and that snagged their attention.
“Like what?” Charlie questioned.
“I’m going to be enrolling both of you in grief counseling again.”
Ollie scowled. “I’m not doing that again. We don’t need it. We’re doing fine.”
“You just robbed a store yesterday!” I snapped at him. “You are not doing fine. I should have never ended the grief counseling sessions.”
“We can go but doesn’t mean we’ll talk to her.” Ollie jutted out his chin, his lips pursed in defiance. “I don’t like her. She’s a nosy little—”
“Ollie!” I hissed sharply. “This is exactly the type of behavior I won’t tolerate. That’s another week added to your grounding. Now, listen to me. I don’t care if your friends make you feel like you’re a smartass, but as long as you live under my roof, you obey my rules.”
“What if I don’t want to live under your roof any longer?”
My stomach instantly revolted at the thought of Ollie leaving. He might have thought he was a man, but he was still a kid, who had lived sheltered for most of his life.
“You’re talking rubbish,” I told him. “This is your home. This is what’s going to happen today. First, we’ll drop you off at school, Charlie. Then, your brother and I will be at the trucking station for the rest of the day. Should I pick you up after school?”
She frowned at me. “Today there’s a conference after school with parents.”
I put down my fork and stared at her. “Why didn’t you tell me? That’s something I have to prepare for in advance. Because I had to drop by your school yesterday, I’ve more work piled up on me today.”
“Well, you don’t have to come, I guess,” she answered. “Mom- mom usually goes so I didn’t know if you would want to.” Her eyes shimmered with tears that spilled down her cheeks. This was always the reaction when she talked about her mother, and I didn’t know what to do about her grief.
“Of course, I’ll come,” I said. “I want to know of every meeting from now on. Okay?” She nodded and turned to playing with the food on her plate, pushing the fork through the eggs she wouldn’t eat. “Is there anything else I should know about?”
“There’s a play being put on by one of our teachers,” she added, and for the first time in six months, I saw the first sign of life in her eyes. Her cheeks were turning red. “Mr. Moreau is really nice, and he asked for more students to sign up yesterday.”
“You want to try out?” I was surprised because she hardly interacted with others these days. Her best friend Lianne had stopped calling after Charlie took to rejecting her calls.
She nodded. “Yes, but it’s at the community center so I’ll have to stop there after school, three days of the week. Is that okay?”
“Of course, yes!” I probably answered too quickly, but I was over the moon. Maybe being involved in the play would help her deal with her grief. The hint of admiration I heard in her voice for her teacher was a bit unexpected, but most girls always had a crush on at least one male teacher. I could always feel this teacher out later when I showed up at her school.
I glanced from her to Ollie. With Charlie occupied in that play production, I would have only him to deal with. That should give me more time to spend with Ollie and get him back on track. Maybe life was working itself out after all.
Chapter 7
Beau
Don’t you dare zone out, Beau. A little too late. I blinked and feigned a smile at the parent who was talking about her daughter while trying her best to flirt with me. I nodded as though I was listening, but the truth was that my head was still on Gordon and how disappointed I had felt, waking up this morning to find him gone. I cursed my ability to sleep like the dead. I had not even suspected a thing, especially since he had promised me he would wake me up to walk him out when he was ready to leave. Some promise that turned out to be.
My attempt to forget about last night and how good it had been between us was all in vain. I couldn’t stop thinking about his blond hair, the deer-caught-in-the-headlight look he wore on his face often, and the sight of his naked body, sprawled out beneath me on the bed. I couldn’t forget the taste of his lips and the outline of his mouth pressed against mine.
I felt used by him which was foolish since I had opened up myself willingly for him to use me. Hadn’t I confessed to him I was glad I was the one he experienced his first time with? But, I hadn’t expected him to slink out on me as if he was ashamed of what we had done last night. I wasn’t used to being with a man who was in the closet. All my past relationships had been open, so I had no idea what to make of Gordon.
I didn’t even have his number to phone him. That had been my plan if he had woken me up to walk him out. I’d have asked for his number and given him mine. A few days after, I would casually call him up and ask him out on a date. Maybe then, I would have been able to get back a favor from him. I didn’t just want him for sex. I wanted to know more about the man.
“Mr. Moreau?”
I startled to find the parent before me frowning and her mouth set in a disapproving line. She was clearly offended that I wasn’t responding to her flirting. Even if I weren’t gay, her daughter was standing right there with her in my classroom. She could have at least made the effort to not be so blatant about it.
“Ms. Palmer,” I said to her, basically repeating myself since I had already told her what her daughter’s weakness and strength were. “Rachel needs to complete all her assignments, put in a little bit more effort, and she should do well. She’s just not working to her full potential. I must commend her for her respectful attitude, and she’s always willing to participate in activities.”
Ms. Palmer wasn’t appeased. She looked me up and down, her eyes widening briefly then narrowing. I was pretty sure she had just concluded I was gay. Not because I had the sign printed on my forehead but because it would stroke her ego and explain why I wasn’t responding to her charms. She was a beautiful woman, used to men responding to her charms. Even if she were a male, I still wouldn’t have flirted with her. I had a zero policy for fraternizing with parents and my students, and I had been hit on before by both. That was too much of a complex area that I avoided like the plague. Plus, I was attracted to older men. Excluding parents. No matter how attractive a father looked, once he was a guardian of one of my students, he was immediately off limits.
At least one father so far today had also flirted with me. I’d been polite but kept the subject on his kid who was one of my little geniuses. Even if he weren’t a parent, I probably wouldn’t have noticed him anyway. Gordon consumed my thoughts.
“Thanks for your time,” Ms. Palmer said and turned to her daughter for them to go.
“Thanks for coming to dialogue about…your daughter,” I ended to myself as she had already closed the door on her way out, never minding the door had remained ajar and not closed. The parents who had missed the early rush would be on their way to meet the seven o’ clock cut off period.
For the first time since the conferencing began I was able to breathe. I grabbed the bottle of water on my desk and replenished on my way to reopen
the door. My name was printed on the outside, and I was wearing a name tag for parents to be able to identify me. Parent conferencing was the bane of my existence, but it was necessary. It was one of the few times I was able to raise concerns to parents about their students or to congratulate the ones whose children continued to perform brilliantly.
I returned to my desk and flipped my register to tick off the last parent I had seen. Conferencing had started at 4 PM and would go on until 7 PM. I checked my watch and sighed with relief. I had only fifty minutes of torture to go. I didn’t mind the conferencing. What I minded was waiting on parents who never showed up for one conference. The policy was that once parents hadn’t arrived, we had to wait for the entire time but if all parents showed up before 7 PM then we could leave. I had a list of seven parents who I hadn’t seen yet so I doubted I would go any time soon.
While I waited for the next parent to cruise along, I worked on my evaluations for classes I had taught today. For me, these administrative tasks were the hardest part of teaching. Keeping records and documenting everything that happened could seem overwhelming but given the sensitive nature of this job, I didn’t take it lightly. Too many teachers had their downfall because of a lack of evidence if the administrators called them up with particular concerns.
Since I was a gay teacher, I was more conscious that I fulfilled the different roles assigned to me. While I didn’t hide my sexual orientation from the rest of the staff, it wasn’t something I would broadcast in this setting. I figured most teachers probably already guessed I was gay. I kept my personal life separate from my professional life though. The school’s principal could be quite anal and conservative. If left up to him, I might not have been given this position in the first place, but they didn’t have many options when they hired me. Not many people from France wanted to leave home to live in a small town like Lacovia.
One of my students entered the classroom, and I smiled. I liked Charlotte. There was something special about her, although she was not my best student regarding performance. She didn’t always get her homework done, and she had flunked the last test I’d given. She had a hint of sadness about her that reminded me how I had felt being miserable in my abusive relationship with Ian. I wished I could help her or speak to her, but I didn’t want to overstep my boundary as her teacher. The school had a counselor I had raised concerns to about my observations of Charlotte. I had backed off when the counselor simply stated that it was a complicated time for the girl. I didn’t ask what happened neither was I sure I wanted to know.
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