“Is there other news of the band?” asked Small Elk.
“Yes, I just told the chief, your weaponsmaker is dead. Stone Breaker.”
“The old man?” asked Small Elk, his voice tight.
“Yes. He had given his name to his apprentice. I heard he is quite skilled, too. A young man with a limp.”
“Yes, I know him.”
“Ah! And did you know he had married? Yes, a beautiful woman. She is with child, someone said. I cannot remember her name.”
“Yes, I know her, too,” Small Elk said, trying to choke back emotion.
“It is good!” their talkative guest chortled. “I am glad I remembered to tell you.”
Small Elk was not quite so pleased but gradually decided that it was just as well. He began to realize that he had spent the winter without really coming to grips with his loss. Now it had been forced on him, and though it was a shock, maybe this was the only way to recover his sense of reality. Before, there had been the possibility that things could change. Now there was little hope. Crow Woman was not only married but pregnant and beyond reach for him.
He had made some progress during the winter, had done some growing up. It was possible, now, for him to think more calmly, almost objectively. He wished that he could rejoice in the happiness of his two friends. Maybe someday he could do so. For now, he would continue to try. It would not be easy.
The Sun Dance that year was to be held at Turkey Creek. It was customary to choose a central location for ease of travel. It was never satisfactory for all but was usually most difficult for the bands to the far west. Occasionally, the Red Rocks, or the Mountain band, farther north, would decide not to attend. Those seasons were rare, however, usually restricted to years when the location for the Sun Dance was too far east to allow for the journey to be practical. Of course, if the Big Council chose a site too far west, the Eastern band was sure to protest loudly.
It had been a tradition of the People to scatter widely each season. But likewise, their tradition of oneness, though they might be scattered, was strong. This and the strong sense of the sacred nature of the ceremony had made the Sun Dance their most important annual event.
That, of course, was not to deny its importance as a social event. It might take many sleeps to travel to the prearranged site. Upon arrival there, people were ready for celebration, so there would be feasting and dancing, renewing of friendships, the greeting of relatives, gambling, gaming, and smoking—all leading to the seven days of the Sun Dance.
The northern band would be the first to arrive. It was their responsibility to begin to prepare the open-sided arbor in which the Sun Dance would be held. It had been their task since the election of their popular young chief, Many Robes, as Real-chief of the entire tribe. With honor goes responsibility.
One facet of their preparation fell to the family of the chief—the selection and securing of a large buffalo bull for the ceremony. A magnificent animal was found, and the hunters—relatives and friends of Many Robes—were able to stalk and kill it successfully. It was good. The ease with which this preceremonial was carried out seemed a good omen for the year. The skin, with the head still attached, was stretched over a framework of poles at one end of the dance arbor to form an effigy in honor of the return of the buffalo.
Small Elk had never seen these early preparations before, since the office of Real-chief had not been in the Southern band for a number of years. He was fascinated by the size of the bull that the hunters had selected. He would have gladly taken part in the hunt if he had been invited. He was beginning to recover his confidence in his ability. But he was young and an outsider, and he knew that the chances for such an invitation were remote. It, the ceremonial hunt, was too important to risk the participation of amateurs.
Still, it was easy to become excited over these goings-on. Enthusiasm began to return, and Small Elk felt a thrill in the air over the coming festivities. This excitement and anticipation, of course, was an important part of the purpose of the celebration, the rejuvenation of the traditional urges that had led the People onto the plains for centuries.
The Red Rocks band was next to arrive at the site of the Sun Dance. This was unusual, in that they had the farthest to travel. But maybe not. This band held fiercely to tradition. Their very name told of their devoted preference for a specific place, a place long important to them. Sometimes they wintered elsewhere, but their favorite locale was in the Red Rocks.
Their other fierce loyalty, however, was to the rest of the tribe. It was very seldom, in the memory of anyone, that the Red Rocks missed a Sun Dance.
The helpers of Many Robes showed the Red Rocks the area assigned for their camp. This was only a matter of traditional welcome; they could have located their camping area themselves. It was always the same. The circle of the camp was open directly to the east, and all lodgedoors faced that direction to welcome Sun Boy’s appearance each morning. The Northern and Southern bands would camp in their respective segments of the circle, and the Mountain band in the northwest. The Eastern band would erect their lodges just north of the symbolic gap left for Sun Boy.
For now, the Red Rocks proceeded to the southwest segment of the camp circle and began to establish their camp. It had always been so, from before the time of memory. Probably since Creation, it was said. The same arrangement was always carried out in seating of the bands around the council fire. That too went back into antiquity. There was even an empty space in the circle, reserved for a band that had occupied a southeast position. They had been exterminated long ago, killed by a warlike tribe who lived in the woodlands to the east. The empty spot in the camp and the empty seats in the Big Council had served as a grim reminder for many generations.
In another day or two the scouts reported the approach of the Mountain band, and again there were happy family reunions, the greetings of old friends, and the hustle and bustle of establishing camp. Excitement increased, and the festive atmosphere became stronger. It was a time of joyous celebration.
Small Elk, though he had mixed feelings, looked forward eagerly to the arrival of the Southern band. It would be good to see his parents, his brother and sister, and their families. His slightly uneasy feeling of apprehension revolved around greeting Stone Breaker and Crow Woman, now his wife. That would be difficult, at best. He would be expected to congratulate his friends and be happy with them in the happiness of their marriage. He was not certain that he could handle that in a convincing manner but knew that he must try. Eventually, he must overcome his jealousy and learn to live with the disappointment—either that or concede that he could not live with it and join a different band permanently.
There were eligible young women in the Northern band. Some had cast sidelong glances at him and smiled invitingly. He was certain that his grandparents would welcome a permanent move to their band. It was not uncommon. There was a constant shifting in the bands. Some families, in fact, seemed to change loyalties every two or three seasons, to follow the band whose chief seemed at the moment to carry the greatest prestige. He seriously considered such a move for a time.
No, he finally decided, he could not do it. His father had always looked with scorn upon those who instead of facing their problems, tried to avoid them by moving to a different band. Besides, he was not ready to become romantically involved with any of the beautiful daughters of the Northern band.
He was ready, he thought, to talk seriously with his father about his future. He believed that White Buffalo would approve a vision quest this season. That would certainly help to show him the right way. It had been a stupid thing, he realized, to consider a vision quest out of anger and disappointment. Those were the wrong reasons. Yes, he looked forward to the arrival of his parents and the expected talk with his father.
Even so, he was caught totally off guard when the day finally came. The scout who had been watching to the south came trotting into the camp.
“The Southern band comes!” he announced as he made the circuit of th
e area. “The Southern band has arrived!”
11
Small Elk found himself avoiding contact with anyone except his parents. He realized what he was doing. Everyone else was hurrying around, greeting friends or family, exchanging jokes, stories, and small talk. Although he had assured himself that he too must do so, he found it difficult to mix with the others. He stayed away from the gregarious happiness, only belatedly joining his parents to help set up their lodge. He studiously avoided even looking around at other families, as they too began to establish their campsites.
This was going to be more difficult than he had thought. He kept imagining Crow Woman in the arms of his friend Stone Breaker, now her husband. Despite his resolve, he now wondered if it would be possible for him to accept it. Maybe he should consider again the possibility of joining another band.
He was somewhat distracted for a time by the reunion with his parents and the tasks of setting up camp. He knew it would be a day or two before he could find an opportunity to talk to his father, and that too was worrisome. It was midafternoon when the Southern band arrived, so there was much to do before dark. That was both good and frustrating—good, because it postponed the inevitable meeting with Stone Breaker and Crow Woman; bad, because it also postponed his chance to talk with his father.
Without actually realizing that he was doing it, he spent the evening finding ways to keep busy and avoiding prolonged conversation with anyone. He did not want to spend the evening hearing about the marriage of Crow Woman or her pregnancy. Also, he was not ready for his mother’s questions about the girls of the Northern band. He rather suspected that a romance with a young woman of her own band would not be entirely unwelcome to Dove Woman.
Small Elk also found himself reluctant to go out and mix with the other young people, as would be the usual custom. There would be the risk of encountering Crow Woman, Stone Breaker, or both.
Never was a lodge so meticulously aligned, so carefully set, or the thongs which held the cover to the poles tied and retied so many times. At first Dove Woman attributed her son’s overattentiveness to his happiness at the reunion. Gradually she began to see his preoccupation but was puzzled by it.
“Let him alone,” advised White Buffalo. “He will work it out.”
Reluctantly, Dove Woman did so. She tried to ignore the repetition of tasks, the meticulous tying and retying of the lashings, the readjusting of the laces over the door, and the interminable fussing with the smoke flaps.
Finally, it was apparent even to Small Elk that there was nothing more that he could do to help his parents establish the camp; He must settle down to make small talk, and the the subject of Crow Woman’s marriage would surely come up. Another idea struck him.
“I will bring some fuel,” he said, and was off like an arrow from the bow.
His mother shook her head.
“What is the matter with him?” his mother asked. “Why is he behaving so?”
“I am not sure,” White Buffalo said slowly. “He will tell us, when he is ready.”
“Is it about Stone Breaker’s marriage?” Dove Woman wondered. “He should be happy about that.”
“Maybe,” his father answered. “He knows of it, because he told us that the traveler stopped with them.”
Puzzled, they settled down in their new campsite to wait for Small Elk’s return.
Shadows were lengthening, and Small Elk had gone far upstream to gather wood and buffalo chips. He had felt a need to escape the social pressures of the day. He wished there was some way he could leave the entire tribe for a few days—until after the Big Council and Sun Dance, maybe. A vision quest still seemed like a good idea, but he really wished to discuss that with his father. Aiee, growing up, assuming the duties of a man, was difficult.
He picked up a dead cottonwood limb and added it to the stack in the crook of his left arm. Already, he had almost more than he could carry. But it would soon be dusk, and if he waited a little longer, he could unobtrusively slip back to his parents’ lodge. Now the sleepy sounds of the creatures of the day were becoming fewer as they settled for the night. A great blue heron beat his way overhead, hurrying to his lodge before darkness fell. There were sounds of some of the night-creatures, coming alive with the departure of Sun Boy and his torch.
Small Elk turned to start back and noticed a figure on the path ahead of him.
“Ah-koh, Elk,” said Crow Woman.
For a moment, he felt that he had lived this before. The girl carried an armful of sticks, but somehow he doubted that an accident had brought them together. He remembered well their last, emotional meeting. He had a moment of anger. Why would she repeatedly torture him this way, seeking him out to imply things that never were and never could be? He could not stay angry, however. The look in her eyes would melt any but the coldest heart.
At their last meeting, he had thought that he had never seen her more beautiful. Even that was eclipsed now. She stood there, straight and tall, not moving, looking directly into his face, and her spirit reached out to touch his.
“I followed you,” she admitted.
“I know. Crow, you should not have—”
Now anger flared in her face. He was distressed by it, but aiee, how it accentuated her dark beauty. Her eyes flashed, and she stamped her foot impatiently.
“Elk, what is the matter with you?” she demanded.
As she moved, the fringes at the bottom of her buckskin dress swayed, and the motion caught his attention. He looked at the attractive exposure of long tan legs, from above the knees downward. He should not be appreciating this, but he had always admired Crow’s appearance, even before the advent of her womanhood. Now she was another man’s wife, and it was wrong to look at her with the thoughts he was thinking. Forcibly, he tried to raise his eyes, trying not to stare at the womanly curves that he found so appealing. The willowy shape of her hips, the flat belly… wait! Even in the dim light… The traveler had told him, three moons ago, of her pregnancy. This was not…
“I heard you were pregnant!” he blurted.
Immediately he felt like an idiot, but it was too late. If she was angry before, now her face showed a rage that was frightening. For a moment, he thought she would hit him with her firewood. Instead, she threw it to the ground and stepped toward him.
“What?” she demanded. “Elk, I should walk away and never speak to you again!”
Now his anger rose. How could a woman for whom he had such high regard be acting so shamelessly?
“Yes, you should!” he snapped. “You shame your husband.”
“My husband? Elk, you have gone mad!” she shouted at him. “You know I have no husband! I would not come here—”
She turned and started away.
“Wait!” he called.
He dropped his own firewood and ran to catch her.
“Crow! You and Bull… Stone Breaker. I was told… the Falling-Leaves Moon? You were not married?”
Slowly, a light began to dawn in her face.
“No!” she said flatly. “Stone Breaker and Cattail. You remember her? She is pregnant.”
They stood, staring at each other in disbelief for a moment, and then both burst out laughing. In another moment, they were in each other’s arms, both trying to talk at once, interrupting, and dissolving into laughter again.
“Elk,” she whispered in his ear, “there has never been anyone but you in my heart.”
“Or you, in mine!”
Now both were laughing and crying at once, holding tightly.
“I did not know what was wrong!” she murmured.
“Nothing is wrong, now!”
“We must tell Stone Breaker,” she said, laughing. “He will be pleased for us.”
“Our parents too,” Elk agreed. “I am sure my mother thinks something is wrong with me.”
“Mine too,” she said. “We will go and tell them. But first, let us stay here a little while.”
She snuggled closer in his arms, shivering a little, only
partly against the chill of the prairie night.
12
The world was bright, happy, and exciting after the reunion of the two childhood sweethearts. They threw themselves wholeheartedly into the celebration of the Sun Dance and all that it stood for.
For Small Elk, the prayers of thanksgiving for the return of the sun and the renewing of the prairie would carry a broader meaning. His ritual prayers would also hold the gratitude for the return of Crow Woman. At first, he could hardly understand what had happened. How could he have been so wrong, have misinterpreted events for so long? Gradually, he came to understand. His jealousy had been one of the major obstacles. He had been unable to see objectively, to realize that the relationship between Crow and Bull Roarer had been one of friendship, not romance. Bull Roarer had badly needed a friend, and Crow had seen that need. Small Elk was now feeling a guilt that he had not been there to help. He had nearly destroyed himself with jealousy. First he had been jealous of Crow’s attention to their friend, then jealous of Bull Roarer’s success. Aiee, it was not pretty.
In his jealousy, he had completely overlooked the fact that Cattail, the quiet, sweet child who was their childhood playmate, had also matured. Now, with the clarity of hindsight, he realized that she had been around all along. Probably she too had been jealous, jealous of Crow’s attention to the rising career of Stone Breaker. But Cattail had been persistent, patiently waiting. Small Elk would never know whether Stone Breaker had first asked Crow Woman to join him as his wife and been refused. He knew that Crow Woman would respect such a confidence, and for this he loved her even more.
Regardless, Stone Breaker, now the respected weaponsmaker of the Southern band, had now taken a wife. Small Elk had gone to visit their lodge early in the morning after his meeting with Crow Woman. His reception was cool. Cattail, her belly large with the expectation of the child, apologized for the disarray of the lodge.
The Changing Wind Page 6