by Ivy Jordan
Chapter one. It was always the same racket about the scientific method and an introduction to what physics was. I was 12 when they started drilling that crap into my head. Obviously, I knew what a hypothesis was. I didn’t have to read six pages about it. That’s what bothered me about these books. It was $300 for that thing, and 600 pages of nothing but filler with a few key terms mixed in. They probably charged per page.
I threw the thing across the room and shot up out of my seat. I had no business being there. This wasn’t my world. I could easily make it without this, but I had to have a dream, didn’t I? I couldn’t just have the sports cars and the beautiful wife. I had to have the game.
It wasn’t worth it. I walked up to the door, and it swung open and hit me right in the face. “Ah,” I grabbed my nose.
“I’m sorry,” the tutor walked in. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I sat back down and tried not to bring attention to my book laying on the floor. She had a strand of black hair leaning down and blocking her face from my view when she sat down. Maybe she didn’t notice. Maybe she was just being nice. Either way, something told me that she was poised, professional, and that maybe she might give me a little bit of dignity.
At least I’d have something to look at. When I dipped down to pick my book up, she was staring down at her tablet, pretending not to notice that I was looking. She reminded me of a tight-lipped baby doll with creamy skin, and a twig-thin frame, the kind of girl you’d expect to see at the head of the class hanging on the teacher’s every word. I knew what I was dealing with: Miss Ambitious. We wouldn’t click, but we were both adults. We’d make do.
Chapter Six
Ava
I heard the quarterback throw his book when I walked up to the door. He was ready to run out. I shouldn’t have done it, but I knew a good whack to the head would wake him up, so I threw the door open and made sure it hit him right in the nose. I read once that young animals learn through pain. That’s why their parents snap at them and throw them around.
There was something to be said for that. He sat right back down and took a look at me like a kid that’d just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. When I turned away to sit down, he coyly picked up his book.
“Dropped it.” He was defensive.
“That’s alright. I’m Ava,” I reached out my hand, and he shook it.
“Channing,” he said, “but you probably know that.”
I was done with pleasantries. If I let him go on, he’d end up tackling me before the lesson was done. “So, what are we looking at today?”
He passed his book over. “Physics. Well, honestly, I’m trying not to think of all the ways to kill Hamburg, which is why I decided to study physics instead of chem.”
I nodded. “Of course.”
“She makes failing a team sport.”
“Yeah, what chapter are you on in physics?”
“Something about the laws of thermodynamics.”
“Thermodynamics.” I knew the book so well I opened it to chapter four without even looking through it.
“This is a really easy chapter. You just have to memorize the laws, and they’re not hard to understand.”
He ran his hands through his hair, and the sleeve of his shirt rolled up his arm. “How many laws are there?”
I rose my eyebrow. “Usually I just play counselor for the first session.”
“Yeah, I’m not doing that.”
“Good.” I turned to the fourth page in the chapter. “Look, there’s always a page and a half introduction. Then they get into the material. The third paragraph is where they start giving you the relevant information.”
“Really?”
“The introduction is the best part. This chapter goes through all of the practical applications of the laws. It helps you visualize things. For example, the zeroth law of thermodynamics.”
“Zeroth?”
“Yeah.”
“Why would they call it that?”
“Actually, there is a story behind that, but…”
“But what?”
“Well, here, look,” I pointed down at the section that explains the law, “it’s really simple.”
He laid back casually and folded his arms behind his head. “I want to know the story.”
“The law is what’s important.”
“Yeah, but the story will get me interested in the subject.”
“Fine. Up until the 18th century, there were only three laws. We’ll get to those in a bit. Then they discovered another law, which is used to define systems of temperature, which placed the zeroth law before the first, so they called it the zeroth.”
“That sounds so interesting,” he said sarcastically.
“I thought we weren’t going to do the counselor thing.”
“We’re not. I’m sorry. How do you know all this crap? What’s your major?”
“Japanese.”
“You’re bullshitting me.”
“Yeah, I am. I don’t do small talk.” I pointed down to the book. “Here are the four laws,” I pointed to the bold print terms. He took out his phone.
“Tell me you’re not gonna stare at that thing the rest of this session.”
“No, I’m taking notes.” He had the memo pad pulled up. “What are the laws?”
He listened and tapped away while I went through each law. He didn’t interrupt once. He was careful and poised once we moved onto business. He made things easy, rushed through, and got the bare minimum he needed without straying. Once I got him on track, he just kept going. He wasn’t stupid either.
He was very intelligent. The other players I was tutoring just stared at me and nodded their heads the whole time. None of them knew what I was talking about. They only came so I could write a letter to the coach saying that they were seeing me. That way, they could stay on the team if their grades started slipping.
Channing didn’t need my help. I envied his systematic thinking and the ease with which he did things. It made me wonder about him. Why was he failing? What was keeping him from doing his work? It didn’t fit. This guy looked like he should’ve been vying with me for top of the class. Maybe he just had the wrong priorities. There was no way of knowing in such a short session, and I didn’t plan on trying to figure him out.
Once I’d read him the laws and answered his questions, he reached into his bag and pulled a note to his coach out of a black binder. “Here,” he pushed it across the table.
“That’ll be $50.”
“Oh, sorry,” he reached into his wallet and pulled it out. I knew I shouldn’t have been looking when he opened his wallet, but he was wearing another pair of label jeans, and his shoes were pure white, not one streak. He had a basic hundred made of twenties, fives, and ones. It was a standard amount to carry around, something a banker would suggest.
I signed the paper quickly and passed it back to him. “Are you coming weekly?” We both started to get up. He threw his book in his bag.
“Yeah, I might as well. Sorry about the rant.”
“It was nothing. Trust me. The other guys…” I could help but smile.
“Are they that bad?”
“They’re alright. It’s nothing. It’s $50 a session, due before the session begins.”
“Okay, Wednesday?” he shrugged his bag on.
“Yeah, I’ll see you then.” He held the door open so I could walk out.
Nicole and I brought coffee to a table in the back of the lounge. I hid my textbooks in my bag so she wouldn’t see, but the top of my calculus book poked out when I sat down.
“That’s why you wanted to go here. You’re going to go right upstairs and poke your head in one of those books and you won’t come out till sunrise.”
“That’s not true,” I grinned.
“Oh, yes it is. That’s exactly what you’re going to do.”
“Not sunrise.”
“Oh, alright. You’re missing out, though.”
“I have to deal with crazy student
s all day. Why would I want to meet up with even crazier ones after work?”
“Good point.” Nicole took a sip of her drink. She swirled her cup around and stared down at it. “You saw Channing Barker,” she said.
“How did you know?”
“Tony told me.”
“The receptionist has been telling people who I’m seeing? Really?”
“Yes.” Nicole leaned across the table. “What was he like?”
“Look at you all wide-eyed and smiling like that. He’s not even a celebrity. I didn’t know who he was until you pointed him out at the restaurant.”
“You never leave the library. Everyone else knows who he is. What was he like?”
“I don’t know. He’s smart and quiet—there, now will you stop bugging me?”
“No.”
“Alright, what else do you want to know?” I took a drink of my coffee.
She stood there thinking about it for a moment. “Is he nice?”
“No, not really.”
“Was he rude?”
“No, he wasn’t rude. He was really easy to deal with.”
“You’re not giving me a clear picture here. Is he bad like the players or bad in a different way?”
“No, not like the players. There’s no comparison. Some of those boys are so stupid they should be tested.”
“You’re evil,” Nicole laughed.
“He’s not special, Nicole. He’s just better at throwing a ball. So what is with this obsession with him?”
“You’ve never seen the games on TV, have you? They’re constantly zooming in on his face and talking about him. That’s a big deal.”
“I just spent half the morning with him. Trust me; he’s nobody.”
“I’m jealous,” Nicole declared.
“I knew it. I knew it. The way you rant and rave about the players,” I took a sip of my drink.
“I’m not going to lie.”
“You want to trade jobs? I would gladly wait tables.”
“No, trust me. You wouldn’t. I would kill to have a job where I could sit down all day.”
“You mean like studying?” I asked.
“No, not like studying. I study.”
“Are you keeping up?” I pushed her.
“Yes, I am.”
“Good, don’t you dare flunk out of here,” I told her firmly.
“I have my priorities too. Don’t mistake me for one of those meatheads.” Nicole gave me a sharp glare. “I can hold my own, and that’s exactly what I’m talking about. I have a firm 4.0, and I go out in the sun. You don’t have to hibernate.”
“I like the library. I’ll admit it, but this place has the most amazing collection. There’s old moth-eaten manuscripts, books on everything you could imagine. You should go up there and look around sometime.”
“I’ve got a full work schedule and classes to study for.”
“Oh, now you have excuses.”
“I mean it. My life is hectic,” Nicole said. “I’ve got too much to do.”
“You have time to party, but you can’t visit the library?”
“I study. I get good grades. Nothing else matters, except for condoms. Besides, my life is healthy. You’re a shut-in.”
“I wouldn’t call going out to get a burger and sitting down in the lounge being a shut-in. I leave the library.”
“Half the time the only reason you leave is to sleep and go to class. You know the other guys are starting to notice.”
“Let them talk,” I said. “I’d rather be celibate than working at fast food. You know, even if we graduate, we’re probably going to have a hard time finding a job. The market is terrible. I think that keeping my grades up and doing some extra studying is the right thing to do.”
“Maybe it is,” Nicole conceded. There was no point in going on and on, but we’d hit a wall. She was convinced that there was something wrong with me, and I had to keep reassuring her. School wasn’t easy, and yes, I was reading books on the side, but for the most part, I was just doing my work. I couldn’t understand how that could possibly be a bad thing.
Chapter Seven
Channing
The coach was pushing us harder than ever. He doubled our exercises and our laps. My body was sore. I was glad when practice was over and I finally got a chance to get into the shower. When I walked out, Mike was toweling himself off.
“How did the tutoring go?” He followed me back to our lockers.
“I can pass my classes. It’s just going to take a lot of work.”
“Did you know anything she showed you?” He was standing behind me reaching into his locker.
“No, but I know how to study.”
“It will help though, right?”
“I can pass my classes no matter what.” My combination lock popped open. I pulled it off and reached into my locker to pull out another towel.
“Who’s your tutor?”
“Her name’s Ava.” I toweled off the back of my neck. “She’s a nice girl.”
“She’s a frigid—what did you think of her?”
“You think she’s frigid?” I stood up and let my towel drop to pull on my boxers.
“They say she’s a virgin, and you can tell. She hates the whole team. Everyone knows it.”
“There aren’t all that many likable guys in here.”
“Man, she is icy. She doesn’t talk. She refuses to answer what she calls stupid questions. She hasn’t even given her name to half the guys.”
“That’s genius. How does she get away with the name thing, you think? Does it just never come up?” I pulled my jeans out of the locker and climbed into them. When I turned around, Mike met my eyes. “She’s a virgin: a real honest-to-God virgin, I swear.”
“No, she isn’t.” I pulled my shirt on.
“She is. I can attest to it.” Sam, one of the other wide receivers, walked up to his locker. It was next to mine.
“What do you mean you can attest to it?” I asked.
“Her friend Nicole told me that Ava got drunk one night and confessed.”
“If she is a virgin,” I said, “that shit’s private. You don’t go running around telling people that.”
“What? No, dude,” he popped the lock off his locker, “we got a bet. A hundred dollars for any guy that can pop her cherry.”
“And you get the privilege of her company,” Mike said. “You couldn’t pay me to do it.”
“The fuck is wrong with you people? You’re selling the girl’s virginity? That’s sick. It’s borderline criminal.”
“It’s just for fun. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little bet.”
“It’s vulgar, and it’s stupid because there is no way that girl is a virgin.”
“I’m telling you,” Sam said, “she is.”
“I’m not buying it. I’ll bet her friend was just making shit up.” I waited for Mike to finish up.
“She wasn’t even drunk when she said it. We were having coffee, and don’t go acting like we’re man whores. It’s a fucking joke, dude.”
“It’s sick. If she is a virgin, I hope she doesn’t lose it to one of you pricks.” I pushed past Sam.
Mike followed me out and we started walking towards the dining hall. It was late afternoon, moving into evening. When we passed through the courtyard, the sun poured over my back. The students were all running around, sitting in circles, smoking, and eating. It was too crowded.
I preferred Lannette’s. The dining hall bordered Fifth Avenue. Directly across the street was a small white stucco diner sitting in a gravel lot. Behind it the was a massive cornfield that stretched for miles. The land was so flat that I couldn’t see past the first row, just the top fronds sticking up over the orange cream skyline.
Lannette’s was old; the stucco was stained with rust where the cooler dripped down the side. It used to be a one-bedroom house, but the owner put up a partition so they could cook in the back. There were three circular tables and a counter with stools in front and two booths on the
left wall.
The waitress was blonde, wearing a tight, white top and pigtails. She took our orders fast, and asked all the right questions. We got two sodas and two guacamole burgers.
“This can’t be good for your diet.” Mike said when she left.
“I don’t care. I have to indulge sometimes, or else I’ll go sour.”
“Just don’t indulge too much,” he said.
“I’m all business now,” I swept my hand over the table. “Nothing but studying and football.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t get any recreation in. You still have time to play.”
“I don’t, no.” The waitress brought our sodas. “I have studying to do. You know I haven’t opened half my textbooks. My civ book still has wrapping on it. I don’t even listen to the teachers.”
“You’re screwed,” Mike sipped his soda, “How are you going to pass?
“Dude, I’ve got this.”
“Oh, yeah. You’re just going to jump in a third of the way through the semester and somehow pass?”
“Absolutely, I’m going to do it. I’ve looked over my syllabuses and there are enough points left in my classes for me to pass. All I have to do is get through my tests.”
“You still haven’t done anything all year,” he sipped his soda. “You’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
“And I’ll make it.” Our waitress slinked up, juggling two plates of burgers with guacamole seeping out.
“Will there be anything else, boys?” She looked at me with the side of her top lip curled over her canine.
“No, thank you.” I turned back to Mike.
“What was she like?” He picked up a fry and popped it in his mouth.
“I don’t know, man. I mean, you’re with her all the time. You tell me.”
“No, I mean with you. Was she looking at you?”
“It’s like you said, Ava’s all business. She doesn’t want anything to do with the team.” I took a bite of a fry.
“But listen to the way you’re talking about her. It’s like you know her. She must’ve acted differently to you.”
“I don’t believe that,” I said. “She was just quiet.”