by Ivy Jordan
I fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I watched the fan spin round and round, creating shadows on the walls with each turn. My thoughts drifted to my dad and everything he’d said to me over the last week. His words were the reason I’d packed a bag, ready to make the trip up the mountain to Xander, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually walk out of the front door.
My phone buzzed, pulling me back to reality. I slid my finger across the answer button when I noticed Lila’s name on the screen.
“Hey, I just saw Joy leave. You okay?” she asked.
“I’m okay,” I sighed.
“Do you want some help cleaning up his room?” she offered.
“I don’t know if I’m ready,” I admitted.
“I was going to bring you some lunch,” she suggested.
My stomach had been growling all morning, but I ignored it to tend to other things. I packed my backpack full with essentials just in case, like flashlights, lighters, food, water, a tent, and plenty of warm clothes.
“You don’t have to do that,” I asserted.
“Nonsense. I’ll be there in a couple minutes,” she insisted.
I knew she’d push me to make the trip up the mountain, so I didn’t fight her. I needed that push.
I was still lying on my dad’s bed when Lila came through the door. I heard her yelling for me as she traveled through the house, but didn’t answer.
“There you are,” she gushed, rolling her eyes as she stared at my lump of an image on the stripped bed.
“C’mon, let’s eat,” she insisted, moving towards me with her hand extended.
I let her held me up and to my feet, and then followed her into the kitchen. She held a speckled blue pot with oven mitts, and the smell tugged at my hunger pains.
“Clam chowder?” I chirped, hopeful she’d remembered it was my favorite.
“Of course,” she grinned, placing the pot on the small iron rack in the center of the kitchen table.
She grabbed a couple bowls from the cabinet, and then two large spoons before sitting down beside me.
I opened the lid, and the smell was intoxicating as it wafted out of the pot from the steam. I scooped a large ladle full and poured it into one of the bowls and then repeated the process for the other.
The bowl warmed my cold hands as I pulled it towards me, quickly pushing my spoon into it and bringing that first bite to my mouth.
“You’re amazing,” I moaned.
“Oh yeah, if I’m so amazing, why wouldn’t you tell me you’re leaving?” she questioned.
I froze in front of her, my expression chiseled like stone on my face.
“I-er-uh,” I stammered, struggling for what to say.
“Okay, so you didn’t tell me, so tell me now. Where are you going?” she asked.
“I don’t know if I’m going anywhere. It was a stupid idea,” I scoffed.
I lifted the spoon filled with the delicious chowder to my mouth, unable to stop eating even with Lila grilling me. I should’ve told her.
“Where are you not going because it’s stupid?” she pushed.
My cheeks started to burn, and I knew I was blushing. Making eye contact with Lila was making me giggle nervously, and it was growing obvious by her expression that she knew exactly where I wasn’t going.
“This is about Xander?” she questioned with a wide smile.
“Yes,” I admitted.
I slurped up another spoonful of the chowder, my eyes remaining in the bowl and not on Lila.
“You were going to climb up that damn mountain again without telling anyone where you were? Have you not learned your lesson?” she scolded.
I shrugged.
“Bailey, that’s dangerous,” she shrieked. “But so romantic,” she cooed.
I laughed at her bouncing emotions.
“I packed an extra battery for my phone, a signal booster, and even a long range walkie-talkie, and I was leaving one here with a note for you,” I groveled.
“Are you fuckin’ serious?” she gasped.
I got up from the table, grabbed the walkie-talkie, and the note and set it on the table in front of her.
“See?” I pleaded.
“Bailey, a note? Why didn’t you talk to me about this, and why are you saying you’re not going?” she whined.
“It was a spontaneous decision, one I made late last night. I couldn’t sleep, and this house, fuck, this house was making me nuts it’s so quiet. I figured I’d leave early, and I didn’t want to wake you,” I explained.
“So what’s changed your mind?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I think I was just lonely, and for some reason, I thought that Xander could make me feel better, but he can’t. It’s selfish of me to go up and expect him to console me,” I went on.
“I think it’s a great idea, but maybe not today,” she warned.
“Why not today?” I groaned.
“The weather doesn’t look so great,” she pointed out, motioning out the window with her nose to the black clouds covering the sun.
“I checked the radar. It looks like it’s to the west of us,” I insisted.
“So now you want to go?” she chuckled.
“I don’t know what I want. I know my dad told me I needed love and that he would want me to go after it,” I sighed.
“What do you want?” she pushed.
“I want Xander,” I smirked.
“Then you should go,” she winked.
I continued scooping up the chowder, thinking of what she’d said with each bite. I wanted her to come push me, and push me she did. What was I waiting for? Better weather? This was Maine; there may never be a promise of great weather.
“Okay, I’m going,” I boasted, leaning back in my chair with a full belly.
“You just have to promise me you’ll be careful,” she pleaded.
“I will. Can I bring this chowder?” I smiled, already out of my seat and looking for a sealed bowl.
Lila laughed as I searched the cabinets for a bowl and lid that matched. I finally found one and started ladling the creamy stew into the bowl, and then sealed it tightly before placing it in a large Ziploc bag.
“You’re sure the weather is going to pass us?” she questioned.
“I’m almost positive,” I boasted.
“And this walkie-talkie, it works from where, the bottom of the mountain?” she asked.
“Yes. It should work all the way to the top of the mountain in case my cell doesn’t get service,” I stated.
“Holy shit, you’re really doing this,” she squealed, scooting from her chair and wrapping her arms around me.
I was. I was really doing this. Was it the right thing to do? Was Xander going to be happy to see me?
Lila helped me shove the chowder into my backpack, and then gave me two more hugs before I made it to my car. The clouds were really dark, and I started to second guess my radar-reading skills as I loaded the pack into the back seat of my car.
“I’m proud of you,” Lila said, pushing me to continue on with my decision. No more second guessing.
As I pulled away from my childhood home, I felt a mixture of emotions. I was excited to be headed on my adventure, sad to leave the house, and relieved not to be inside staring at the walls, the pictures, and surrounded by silent memories that haunted my sleep.
The drive to the parking lot below the mountain had me pass through a little rain, but nothing too hard. I had a Parka, so I could handle a little bit of wetness, and I had plenty of warm clothes to keep me comfortable on my climb.
I pulled in, noticing that Liam’s truck wasn’t there. A shiny red one was in the same spot from before, and I assumed that was Xander’s, although I’d never seen him make the trek down the mountain to drive it.
I pulled in beside the truck, grabbed my bag from the back, strapped it over my shoulders, and locked my car.
I hoped I knew the way to the cabin, but I wasn’t certain. It was at the very top, I knew that, so I would j
ust go up and worry about the direction from there.
I followed the same path I’d started on that fateful day when I was injured, through the slick mud, the sharp rocks, and the heavy brush to the clearing just about a fourth of a mile up.
The clouds threatened me with darkness, and thunder was roaring in the distance. Without the sun, it was already getting dark, and the air was crisp. A mile up, and I stopped, searching my pack for a granola bar and some water, and checked for a signal on my phone. Nothing. I would be lucky to have a signal at the top, where the towers could actually reach me. Hell, I’d climb up on Xander’s roof if I had to in order to call Lila to let her know I’d made it.
My thoughts drifted to Liam. His missing truck concerned me. Maybe Xander was doing better, moving on, and me showing up would only hinder his success.
I shook it off, continuing up the mountain as the rain started to fall. I stopped again, pulling out my Parka and throwing it on over my clothes. It was cold, even with the warm clothes I wore, and I knew it was going to be dark, and much colder by the time I made it to the top.
The spot where I fell was gravely familiar. I stopped there, looking up the mountain. I knew it wasn’t far, maybe a quarter mile more, but I wasn’t sure which direction.
I couldn’t see Xander’s cabin being straight up the trail. That would be too easy for hikers to end up at his door.
I stared at the sky, trying to get answers from my dad who I hoped was watching down on me. I imagined he was proud, smiling, and looking forward to what I’d find at the top of the mountain. Love, that was his dream for me, and the more I thought about it, it was becoming my dream as well.
The right of the path looked like it was covered in thorn bushes, and I didn’t remember being scraped up when I made it to Xander’s cabin. To the left, it was thick brush, but as far as I could tell, no thorns. I took a closer look, and noticed broken branches from where someone had used that path, so I took it, hoping for the best.
Snow started to fall, and the mountainside became extremely thick. I couldn’t believe that Xander had carried me up this without a path and suddenly had a new-found respect for the man in addition to the respect that already flooded my heart.
I had to make it, no matter how bad I hurt, no matter how cold or scared I was. If I done anything in my life, anything that mattered at all, it would be making it up this mountainside to Xander’s strong arms.
Chapter Thirty-One
Xander
It was strange being alone in the cabin again. The same dark clouds that lurked in the sky with the last storm lingered over the mountain once again. The radar said it would miss us, but it was already starting to snow pretty heavily.
Liam made another trip into town to get a part for the generator, just in case we got slammed with another thirty inches of snow, and I worried that he may not make it back up before things got worse.
He was a smart guy. He’d surely find a place to stay warm and dry in town before he tried to do anything stupid, like climb this mountain in a blizzard.
I laughed out loud at the thought of having to carry his muscle-bound ass up the mountainside to safety. Bailey was one thing, petite and easy, but Liam, he would be a real challenge.
The electric flickered but didn’t go out. I lit some candles, just in case, and added a couple more logs to the fire. I knew how quickly things could change, and from the way the snow continued to fall without mercy, I knew change was extremely possible.
I peered out the window, which was already icing up. The snow was thick enough that I couldn’t see past the shed. I was going to barrel down, planning on spending the night alone.
I made some coffee, placing it over the fire to boil, and then rummaged through the kitchen for something easy to eat. There was still bread and lunchmeat, so I threw together a sandwich. I knew whenever Liam made a trip into town, no matter what for, he came back with enough food to feed an army. I was running out of places to store it all. I seriously wondered if this man ever planned on leaving. Maybe all that therapy wasn’t really working, and he needed a retreat from life, from civilization. I was good with it. He was super helpful. It was nice having someone to talk to. Although I preferred Bailey’s company over Liam’s, he was definitely a second best.
The wind picked up, and it was already dark, three hours before the sun was scheduled to set. The trees whistled, and the electricity flickered again.
I flung open the front door, holding it from flying off the hinges due to the heavy winds picking up. The stack of wood I’d been splitting all week was near the shed, close to where I was attacked by the coyote. I shrugged off the eeriness that fell over me and ran through the rain towards the pile.
I gripped the tarp covering the wood as the wind lifted it high into the air. I pulled hard, not allowing the covering to take off into the tree tops and secured it under a couple of the logs.
Suddenly, the wind stopped, and the woods grew silent. I knew the warmer weather had awakened the creatures lurking beyond the tree line, and they were all hungry, ready to leap on anything that moved for some desperately needed nourishment.
I didn’t plan on becoming anyone’s meal, or even snack if they just got a chunk of my flesh like the coyote, so I picked up the axe near the wood, ready to attack whatever came at me.
Branches broke in the distance, and tree tops rustled as something made its way up the mountain. I grabbed three logs, piling them in my arms, and rushed into the cabin. I slammed the door, set the wood down, and then moved to the window. Whatever had been making its way to me was nowhere to be seen, possibly headed a new direction since my scent was now gone.
I moved to the fire, stacking a new log on the small flame, and poked it until enough air pockets were created and allowed the flame to grow.
Just as I was standing back to admire my work, warming myself near the beautiful orange flame, a knock on the door nearly caused me to jump from my skin. Fuck, Liam!
He’d only been gone a few hours. There was no way he made it down the mountain, into town, and back up again that fast. I moved towards the door as fists pounded against the wood.
“Hold on,” I called out, chuckling at Liam’s urgency.
“It’s cold,” a familiar voice called out, only not Liam’s.
I rushed towards the door, lifting the heavy lock from across the wood, and pulled it open.
The most beautiful sight I’d ever saw stood before me, wet, shivering, and like a dream.
“Bailey?” I gasped, immediately pulling her into the cabin and to my arms.
Her body shook as I rubbed my hands up and down her arms, creating friction to warm her. I couldn’t believe she was real, that she was really here. What on earth was she doing here?
“You’re frozen,” I pointed out, guiding her towards the fire.
I peeled off her wet parka and then the top layer of her warm clothing now drenched with the cold rain.
“Sit, let me get you some coffee,” I gushed, quickly grabbing a cup and the pot still over the flame from earlier that morning.
I handed her the cup, watched as she slowly took a sip, and then sat down beside her on the couch. I had so many questions.
“You need to get into dry clothes,” I rambled, searching through the stack on my shelf near the couch.
“My bag,” she stuttered as her lips quivered from the cold.
I grabbed her bag, and holy shit, it was heavy.
“You carried this all the way up the mountain on your own?” I gasped, barely able to lift it with one hand.
She nodded, a slight smile emerged on her face as I opened up her pack and started digging for clothes.
“This work?” I asked, holding up a pair of fleece pants and a sweatshirt.
She set the coffee cup down and stood to take the clothes from my hands as she nodded. I was in disbelief as I watched her head into the bathroom to change. She was really here. Bailey was back.
I paced the floor, unsure of what to do as I waite
d for her to exit the bathroom. She smiled as the door opened, looking much more comfortable in her pink fleece pants and matching sweatshirt. She returned to her seat on the couch, picking up her coffee cup to sip from as she stared at me with those big, green eyes.
“I’m sorry to barge in,” she sighed.
I rushed to her side, sitting beside her, close, with my arm extended around her.
“I’m glad you’re here, but, how, why?” I questioned, still stammering as I tried to speak clearly.
Her lips still quivered, and I was itching to kiss them, to calm them, and warm them against mine.
Bailey leaned back, released a long sigh, and sipped her coffee as she contemplated an answer to my question.
“I need to contact Lila to let her know I made it. I’m sure she’s worried sick,” she said softly, avoiding my question entirely.
“Of course,” I replied, gripping my cell phone and handing it to her.
“Thanks. Mine only had service for about a quarter mile before hitting the top, and then the storm shut me down. I never did get a message sent to her,” she explained.
I didn’t know who Lila was, but she seemed important to Bailey, and Bailey to her.
I watched as she dialed a number, and then smiled when she greeted whoever answered on the other line.
“I made it,” she gloated.
She laughed, oh hell, that laugh made my dick twitch.
“I know, I’m sorry, my cell wouldn’t give me service. I really didn’t think the weather was hitting us. I know, I know, I’m okay though. Okay, love ya,” she said, hanging up the phone and handing it back to me.
“You hit some serious storms. You could’ve been hurt again,” I whined.
Bailey chuckled nervously. It was obvious she was more than aware of the dangers that surrounded her. But she was safe now, safe with me, where she belonged.
“Did you see Liam?” I asked.
Her eyes squinted, and she shook her head.
“I thought he left,” she stated.
“He just went into town for supplies, as if we needed more fuckin’ supplies,” I laughed, motioning to the counter that was overflowing with supplies already brought up the mountain by one of Liam’s many trips to town.