by Unknown
McNulty was in an expansive mood. As the car started off at a moderate pace, he smiled at Kerry. "The secret of a successful operation is to remain inconspicuous," he said smugly, oblivious to her sidelong glance at Andy's garishly clothed hulk. "Thus we move very carefully with the traffic flow. We don't drive below the speed limit because we don't want to be picked up for loitering, but—"
"How did you get into my apartment?" Kerry asked. "It was locked and there were two U.N.C.L.E. agents guarding it."
McNulty favored her with a superior smile, "Another secret of the successful agent: be alert and watch for your opportunity. Or, as one of our rival organizations puts it, 'Be prepared.' The guard at the back was ready and alert except for a few brief moments when your two friends left. We simply sneaked in then."
"But the door—"
"Locks," McNulty stated, "are no barrier to Thrush."
"I see. Could you tell me why you chose to kidnap me? I know nothing that could be of any use to you, especially if you already have Uncle Willard."
McNulty looked offended. "Kidnapping, Miss Griffin? I prefer to think of it as arranging a reunion between two devoted relatives who have been separated by unfortunate circumstances. We must, of course preserve Thrush security; you, who have worked on classified government documents, must appreciate our position."
"Did my uncle request this reunion, then?"
"Not in so many words, perhaps, but we felt sure that having his favorite niece with him would spur him to even greater efforts on our behalf. We are not a heartless organization, Miss Griffin, as you can see. No expense is too great for Thrush if it contributes to the well-being
"I see," Kerry repeated noncommittally, and fell silent. McNulty settled back and hummed quietly to himself as they drove.
Kerry kept a careful check on their progress. Prisoners did this in all the spy movies she had seen, in order to locate the secret hideout they were being taken to. But in most of the movies, the prisoners had been blindfolded, she realized, uneasily. McNulty didn't seem to be the careless type, so she could only assume that he was confident that any knowledge she gained would do her no good. But, then, he wasn't reckoning with the tiny transmitter beeping away in her stomach. As the car drove on, she tried not to let her growing feeling of anticipation and excitement show.
Forty-five minutes later, the car pulled up in front of a medium-sized apartment building, a few miles south of Milwaukee. A thrill ran through Kerry as she realized that this was probably the secret Thrush Headquarters that Brattner had been unable to locate. Right here in Cudahy, She thought wonderingly.
McNulty ushered her out of the car and closed the door behind her. The car moved smoothly off to the building parking lot. Kerry felt vaguely disappointed that a section of lawn hadn't risen up to reveal a secret entrance for the car and themselves. Instead, they walked prosaically up the front steps and through the front door. Inside, McNulty led her down a long hallway and stopped in front of an apartment door and rang the bell. A beefy man in an ill-fitting suit answered the door. Another inconspicuous secret agent, Kerry thought as the man gestured them inside.
The apartment was furnished simply but was tastefully decorated. A tall, lawn man with graying hair rose from a couch as they entered. Attired in a smoking jacket and slippers, his trim appearance and erect bearing made Kerry think of a retired army officer. He bowed slightly. "Miss Griffin, I presume? I am Ivan Forbes. I assume you have become acquainted with our Mr. McNulty." He didn't bother to introduce the beefy man.
Kerry looked at Forbes coldly. "Am I to assume that the ultimate responsibility for the implementation of this unseemly abduction lies in your sphere of authority?"
Forbes stared at her. "I beg your pardon?"
"I'm not sure," McNulty spoke up, "but I think she asked if you were the one who ordered her kidnapped."
Kerry nodded. "That was the primary intent of my query."
"Ah, yes," Forbes smiled militarily. "I wouldn't put it in such harsh terms. I would rather consider it—"
"I know. Mr. McNulty and I have been through that already. Well, I've been brought here to see my uncle; where is he?"
Forbes turned to the beefy man. "Bring Dr. Morthley in."
As the man crossed the room to an inner doorway, the doorbell rang and simultaneously there was a buzzing sound from the general region of Forbes' jacket pocket. McNulty opened the door to Andy, and Forbes removed a metallic box about the size of a cigarette pack from his pocket. He snapped it open with a practiced flip of the wrist and spoke into it.
"Forbes here."
There was an unintelligible mutter from the other end which made Forbes frown. "About two hours ago, you say? Yes, that would be about the time those second two showed up to guard Miss Griffin. You're probably clear, then. Get over here as fast as you can, before they pick you up again."
Forbes started to close the communicator but changed his mind as he remembered something. "Have you gotten rid of that damned earring yet? I told you before it was too conspicuous."
Another mutter came from the communicator, and Forbes snapped, "Well, do it! Before you start for the apartment. Just remember who's in charge of this satrapy now!" Without waiting for a reply, Forbes closed the communicator and returned it to his jacket pocket.
He turned to McNulty. "Whoever was watching Hunter disappeared around midnight. I just hope he can make it back here without being spotted again. He's a good man, but I do wish he didn't look like Mr. Clean."
"Are you sure it's just his nonconformist streak?" McNulty asked, sensing an opening. "After all, he was the number one man here until we came, but his record shows he was never a well-coordinated member of the team."
Forbes sighed, and Kerry felt a flash of sympathy. People like McNulty usually made her feel like sighing, too. At that moment, the inner door opened and Willard Morthley stepped into the room, closely followed by the beefy man. Dr. Morthley was a spry, elderly gnome with a shock of white hair which he fondly believed made him resemble Einstein. It actually made him resemble an elderly man badly in need of a haircut, but Kerry had never been unkind enough to point this out. He smiled at Kerry.
"I'm happy to see you, my dear. They told me you were coming."
"Are you all right, Uncle Willard? Your disappearance caused marked apprehension and a search, thus far fruitless, I fear, was instigated."
Morthley nodded. "I'm fine," he reassured her, "and so is my project. In fact, we're getting along quite well with it."
"You're getting along well with it? You mean you're working on it? For them?"
"I think you'll find we aren't such hard people to get along with, once you get to know us," Forbes broke in.
"Exactly," said McNulty, "our entire organization and all its plans have been unfairly maligned by our opposition. We aren't the megalomaniacs they would have us believe; we're simply hard-headed realists."
"And just what is your hard-headed realistic plan at the moment?" Kerry asked.
"Our plan," McNulty began, "is simply to provide the world with efficient leadership. Look at the state things are in now: fighting, chaos, communism, and sheer anarchism everywhere. What the world needs—the United States most of all—is good, strong, solid, realistic thinking. You can't successfully fight subversion without it. And we have it. Thrush could usher in a period of world prosperity undreamed of—"
"Yes, Arpad," Forbes interrupted. "It's a very moving oration, but it's late and I'm sure Miss Griffin and Dr. Morthley would like to get back to their interrupted sleep." He turned to the beefy individual. "Green, show them to their quarters."
Green led them into a bedroom then through a connecting door to the bedroom of another apartment. After they entered, he slammed the door shut and left. Kerry turned to her uncle.
"You can't be serious about working for these people!"
Morthley made a sound halfway between a chuckle and a cackle. "Oh, I'm working for them all right; I don't seem to have much choice. And I decid
ed at the start that I'd have more freedom and a better chance of slipping away if I appeared to cooperate willingly." He sighed. "So far, though, it hasn't done me much good. Forbes is too careful. But Green isn't, so let's get back and see what they're planning."
"But aren't we locked in?"
Morthley opened the connecting door and proudly displayed a piece of wire jammed against the striker of the lock. "As I said, Green isn't too observant. Unfortunately"—he pointed to the other door of their supposed cell—"that door was locked when I came, and I haven't been able to get it open. Besides, I suspect that Green of someone is guarding it most of the time. About all I can do is eavesdrop on them, which hasn't done me much good."
The eavesdropping reminded Kerry of her secret transmitter, and she delightedly explained the entire plan. "And you've been listening to all the Thrush plans right here in their headquarters," she concluded. "You'll have all sorts of things to tell Illya and Napoleon!"
Morthley shook his head. "Regrettably, this isn't Thrush headquarters, and I haven't really learned much."
"But if it isn't headquarters, why are we here?"
"They don't have full-scale headquarters since U.N.C.L.E. discovered their former one. I overheard that much. This is just Forbes' apartment. They have their heavy equipment including my OTSMID—stored somewhere, and they hold meeting in restaurants and places like that. They're looking for a new headquarters. I heard Forbes telling Hunter once that they couldn't afford to make a mistake in picking one; apparently the telephone company charges outrageously to install all their special equipment. I listen all I can, but a lot of times all I can hear is Forbes or McNulty talking to someone on a communicator. And one side of a conversation is rarely helpful. Anyway, I'm glad to hear that someone is finally going to get me out of here. I've wasted too much time already."
They crept silently over to the door leading to Forbes' living room and placed their ears against the door. McNulty was speaking.
"...and I have several members of the Near North Side Neighborhood Civic Improvement Association circulating a petition. The Common Council is sure to go along with any recommendation that has that many signatures. Give me another month and I can have that entire area condemned for urban renewal, U.N.C.L.E. headquarters included."
"I wish you'd give as much thought tot the invisibility problem as you do to petty harassment," Forbes replied.
"Petty!" McNulty sounded as outraged as he ever allowed himself to become at a superior. "Look at the trouble we're having, just because we don't have a fixed headquarters. And think of the long-range benefits if it works here. That area around Del Floria's in New York is no civic showplace—just think of the prestige if our plan could force U.N.C.L.E. out of its major headquarters in the United States!"
"Yes, yes, I know you have far-reaching schemes, Arpad, but the important problem right now is invisibility. Thrush Central has decreed that we find a use for it—now!"
"Of course," a more chastened sounding McNulty replied. "I would never think of questioning the wisdom of Thrush Central. As you must be aware, however, there are certain problems involved, such as the shape of the field generated by the machine. And the sheer bulk is by no means—"
Forbes' tones were icy. "I am aware of the problems, my dear Arpad. What I—and Thrush Central—would like are solutions to those problems. Your time would be better devoted to finding answers than to reminding me of the problems. Is that clearly understood?"
McNulty's reply was almost inaudible. Morthley stifled a chuckle and whispered to Kerry, "McNulty is out of his league with Forbes. Only one that can stand up to him is Hunter. Wears a gold earring—or did until this evening. Fascinating individual."
"In the next room, the doorbell rang. Footsteps crossed the floor and the two listeners heard the door open and Forbes' voice welcome the caller. "Good man, Hunter; you made fine time getting here. Come on in. You can stay the night here and find yourself a new place in the morning. And perhaps you can come up with a practical use for the invisibility device. Arpad"—the voice dripped scorn—"hasn't been entirely successful."
Footsteps crossed the room again and there were sounds of someone getting settled. "I'm not going to be much help either," a voice deeper than Andy's said. "I can't see any practical use for it in its present stage. I've always thought we should wait until it's better developed."
"Are you presuming to argue with the decisions of Thrush Central?" Forbes asked ominously.
"Of course I am; at times that outfit seems to be composed exclusively of dimwits. They can't wait to get their hands on this device, and then they won't send the engineers and scientists necessary to exploit it properly. Morthley is just stalling for time and you know it' we need some capable Thrush people in here to work on that thing."
A frigid silence came from the next room. "See," Morthley whispered to Kerry. "What did I tell you? If they were all like that, the world would really be in trouble."
The silence was broken by McNulty busily offering to make drinks. There was the clink of ice, the sounds of pouring and more silence. Kerry could picture Forbes and Hunter glowering at one another while McNulty tried to think of something to inspire team effort.
Finally McNulty broke the silence again. "What about the dirigible?" he asked.
"The what?" came Forbes' startled reply.
"The dirigible, the one here in Wisconsin. Technically, of course, it's a Zeppelin, but—"
"Hunter, can you tell me what in God's name is he talking?"
"Didn't you know, sir?" McNulty hurried on. "We have a dirigible in a concealed hanger here in Wisconsin. Just dropping the idea to see if it floats, but we could mount the OTSMID on the dirigible. It's big enough to carry the weight, comparatively silent so we wouldn't be betrayed by the sound, and it's up in the air where the spherical field won't cause any problems. And it can be maneuvered slowly enough to avoid crashing into things." He hesitated a moment, before he went on, a self- satisfied tone creeping back into his voice. "Now that I think of it, it seems the ideal solution."
"Perhaps," Forbes grunted. "But could you first tell me what we're doing with a dirigible in the middle of Wisconsin?"
"Actually, it isn't in the middle," McNulty began pedantically, "but over in the west, not far from Minnesota. As to why we have it—well, it was also before your time, but—"
"If it was before my time, it was also well before your time, Arpad. How do you happen to know so much about it?"
"Well—" McNulty sounded a trifle embarrassed—"I'm interested in various aspects of you cultural heritage, as I think we all should be prepared for when we do take over the world. I belong to the Society for the Preservation of Rigid Lighter-Than-Air Vehicles, and—"
"Not to mention the Society of Canada for the Restoration of Absolute Monarchy," muttered Hunter.
"And when I found mention in the Thrush historical section of our acquisition of a dirigible, I naturally looked into the matter in some detail," McNulty continued, unperturbed. "It seems that Hitler grounded all German dirigibles after the Hindenburg disaster. One of them was offered to what was then our Third Reich Satrapy, and we purchased it. It was moved later, partly to avoid Allied bombers and partly to simplify the problem of transporting helium, since—"
"Don't lecture, Arpad. Why did we buy the ting in the first place?"
"Well, you never know when a dirigible will come in handy. Besides, it was a bargain, and—"
"Yes, I'm aware of Herr Schlossheimer's bargain-basement mentality. Sometimes I think he's working for the wrong side. However, as long as we have this anachronism—it will fly, won't it?"
"Oh, yes; certainly. It's been kept in readiness for instant use. A caretaker looks after it, and every year a maintenance team who used to work for Goodyear go over it thoroughly. And I've been out there myself a few times—on my own time, of course. I wouldn't think of doing this on Satrapy time.
"I'm sure you wouldn't. Very well, then. We're handicapped here anyway; we'
ll move the OTSMID to the dirigible site and arrange for tests. McNulty, since you seem so familiar with the situation, you get out there first thing in the morning and make advance arrangements. We'll want to move as soon as possible. Precisely where is this place anyway?"
Kerry was leaning against the door and holding her breath in anticipation when something resembling a vise clamped on the back of her neck and she was lifted from the floor. From the corner of her eye she saw Dr. Morthley, similarly suspended. A large booted foot kicked the door resoundingly. There were exclamations in the next room and the door was flung open by Forbes, who took the situation in at a glance.
"All right, Andy, put them down. What happened?"
"I took a look in to see how they was getting' along, and they wasn't in their room. So Green covered the door and I came in to see what they was up to. They was listening at the door here."
Forbes produced a wintry smile. "No harm done. They're in no position to use any knowledge gained, and we'll soon be leaving here." He walked over to the connecting door, inspected it briefly, and produced the wire jammed into the lock. "Ingenious. Green, get over here!"
Green approached, trying to avoid Forbes' icy stare.
"Don't you think this is ingenious, Green?" he asked, holding the wire up for Green's inspection. "Can you see it clearly enough to see just how clever it was of Dr. Morthley to have placed it in the lock when you placed him in the room?"
Green, blanching by now, muttered that he saw it.
"Then why didn't you see it when it was first put there? Thrush has very little use for men who can't keep proper guard over prisoners, and your next mistake like this will be your last. Do you understand?"
Green, his complexion fading by the second, stammered that he understood.
"Very well. Now then, we've had a long night. Andy, this time you lock up the prisoner' then you and Green go back to your room. Hunter, perhaps you had better go with them and make sure they stay alert. McNulty and I will sleep here."