Catching Fireflies

by Terri E. Laine

  “And?” I asked dryly.

  “Nothing. The number she’d given me is disconnected. And the last address I have, she no longer resides at.”

  “Okay.”

  I didn’t mean to be rude, but there had to be more.

  “I’ve put everything in your name. And as much as I still care about your mom, you deserve what little I have.”

  “Dad—”

  He cut me off, “You have to know if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. You were our chance. That’s why I named you that. And she did love you.”

  “Not enough.”

  “I love you enough for both of us. I’m so proud of you, and I want you to be proud of me. I’m going to sober up. You’ll see. I even asked Sarah out on a date.”

  Sarah, who’d worked with dad, had made her availability known for years, though Dad had been clueless even after I clued him in.

  “Good for you.”

  “Things will be better. What about you? Are you dating anyone?”

  We hadn’t talked a lot about relationships growing up. Somewhere during his confession, the strings of communication tonight, I felt something open up between us.

  “There was one. But I fucked up. She’s seeing someone else.”

  “Something I learned. When you love someone, you have to let them go. If they come back, they love you, too. If not…”

  He didn’t have to answer. Somewhere the moral of the story led back to my mom, who fled the coup. By the time she came back, it was too late.

  Eventually we hung up. The music thumped softly through my door, but I had no desire to go back to the party. I lay on my bed and tried to sort out the mess of my life.

  On the drive to Lenora’s, my eyes burned.

  “What happened?” she asked, when I should have been comforting her.

  “You know, the same old shit, just another day,” I said flippantly.

  But she didn’t give up. “And?”

  I was rattled by my encounter with Chance and took it out on her.

  “Oh, now you’re playing therapist?”

  She didn’t waste time answering. “Whatever it takes.”

  “Fine,” I breathed. “He wants us to get back together. But the past is the past. And I could never be with him knowing I’ll always resent what he did.”

  I shook my head, not willing to reopen the wound any more at that moment.

  “He seems like a good guy,” she tried.

  “It doesn’t matter. There’s someone else,” I said with false cheer.

  When her mouth gaped, I told her some about him. I didn’t, however, tell her everything about who he was. That was a secret I wasn’t ready to share.

  Weeks later, things had progressed slowly with my new guy. It felt weird to call him that. But we’d been out a few times for coffee. And we’d attended some of the same study sessions.

  Today was the day. I did extra primping. The communal bathrooms were filled with chattering girls, but I didn’t let it bother me. I spent time putting on makeup, which I didn’t do most mornings. Not a lot, but a little lipstick and mascara were more than I normally wore. Then I stared at my hair. I’d let the blonde grow out, but the ends still held that tint. I should probably dye them back to match my natural color.

  Once I made it to the building where my first class was held, he was there in the hallway. Giddy feelings that felt like a schoolgirl crush plagued me as my cheeks burned.

  Handsome, older, sophisticated were all the words I could use to describe him. At that moment, he was talking to a girl in my class. I was proud of myself that jealousy not once reared in my head.

  With my books clasped to my chest, I waited patiently for him to finish his conversation. His back was to me, and the girl he was talking to caught me standing there. She narrowed her eyes, and he noticed. Turning around, his gaze softened on me, and my insides went gooey.

  “Brie,” he said. “Give me a minute.”

  I bobbed my head, cool with the waiting. From our conversations, I was secure in his feelings for me.

  The girl brightened when his focus turned back to her. But when he finished saying whatever it was he needed to say and gave her his back, daggers shot from her eyes aimed squarely for me.

  Glancing up, there was a crinkle in the corner of his eyes. Amusement lit his face.

  “That was—”

  I held up a hand. “No need to explain. I’m not the jealous type.”

  At least not with him.

  “Good to know. Should we head into class?”

  His eyes lifted over my shoulder at the same time there was a tap on my back. Turning around, I found the unimaginable.

  “Chance,” I said.

  I hadn’t seen him around once since Kelley’s birthday party until briefly yesterday as I passed the café on my way to my first class. And there he stood, flushed, faint color pinkened his cheeks, and damn, if that didn’t surprise me more than seeing him there.

  “I know you don’t take time to eat breakfast. But it’s the most important meal of the day.”

  He held out a muffin and a cup that vaguely looked like one from the coffeehouse that sold overpriced but delicious brew to those who could afford it.

  Dumbfounded, because he remembered a casual comment I’d made during one of our many conversations from freshman year, I took the proffered gifts from his hands. He nodded in the direction of the guy behind me. And I came out of my stupor.

  “Oh.” I glanced over my shoulder to see the other guy waiting. “Chance, this is Davenport.”

  The guys reached out and exchanged an awkward handshake.

  Chance’s eyes searched mine for the answer to his unspoken question. Is this the guy you’re going out with? But I glanced away, avoiding his prying gaze.

  “I have to get to class. But eat, you’ll feel better for it. Take care of yourself, Brie.”

  He stared at me for another long moment before taking off, almost at a dead run. The engineering building where he probably had his next class was across the quad.

  Davenport’s hand landed on my shoulder before stroking down my arm in an almost possessive way.

  Pivoting slowly, I faced him, almost embarrassed by the muffin and coffee I still clutched.

  “Nice boy,” he said.

  The emphasis was on boy, separating himself from the former flame who’d lit a flame in my heart.

  “He’s an old friend,” I said, making sure friend sounded harmless.

  His brow arched, and I put the coffee to my mouth with nothing more to say. The damn thing tasted like warm sunshine on my tongue. The caramel mocha double cappuccino was my all-time favorite. How had Chance remembered that? We’d only gone for coffee once two years ago.

  “You know I have to agree with him. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Don’t tell me you’re skipping it to save your figure?”

  I was and I wasn’t. I happened to like sleeping in. And pancakes, bacon, eggs, muffins, sausage, bagels, French toast, Belgium waffles, and the like were all my weakness. And one thing the student cafeteria did well was breakfast. Going in there was how most freshmen gained ten pounds their first year. As had I. So an early class and sleeping late were just the excuse I needed to avoid my most calorie infused meal of the day.

  “No, I just normally sleep too late to make it.”

  His head lifted in acknowledgment. “We better get in there,” he said with his hand cupping my elbow.

  He bent down and said softly, “I’ll see you later tonight.”

  Then he let me go and jovially entered the double door, talking to people as he passed them. There was a giddiness in me for the secret I held, for no one could know that we were dating.

  Later that evening, confidence filled me. I’d spent an exorbitant amount of time preparing for my date. Thank goodness, the bathrooms weren’t attached to my room, for my roommate surely would have given me shit for all my primping. But it had been worth it. My hair was perfect, my ou
tfit was perfect, and my makeup was perfect, too. And how Davenport stared at me, I saw in his eyes he felt that way, too.

  “Brie, I had a wonderful evening.”

  “Me, too,” I blurted, losing some of the sophistication and poise I’d carried all night.

  He smiled. “There’s just something about you.”

  His hand threaded through my hair as we hovered in the space between the center console of his sedan. He lowered his head a fraction, and my breath caught. The moment I’d anticipated was finally happening. Then a car alarm went off behind us. Davenport pulled back as if he’d been a rubber band snapping back in place.

  I followed his stare out the back window as a figure moved to stand under the soft glow of a parking light. My teeth ground together as I recognized the person.

  Eyes that had been kind turned accusatory in my direction. “I thought you said that guy was a friend.” His tone wasn’t hard, but it wasn’t sympathetic either.

  “He is,” I defended, wanting him to believe me.

  “He acts more like a jealous boyfriend. If he finds out who I am, I could get in a lot of trouble. I really like you, Brie…”

  I didn’t let him add the “but”. Fury fueled me as I said, “I’ll handle it,” opening the door. It wasn’t like he would kiss me at that point. So I mumbled a goodnight and watched as Davenport practically peeled out of the lot. I was left standing, staring at taillights until Chance stepped closer and blocked my view.

  Charging forward like a raging bull, I shoved at his chest. “What the hell? Why are you here?”

  With his hands held up in a defensive posture, he understood he was encountering a feral rabid animal. “I was worried,” he hurriedly said. “I overheard you went out tonight. I texted you to see if you made it home safely and you didn’t text back.”

  “Duh, I was on a date and it’s rude to look at your phone. And did you think it was funny to set the car alarm off?”

  His teeth gnashed together in a grimace. “That wasn’t on purpose. I was headed back to Kelley’s truck,” he pointed, “when I saw you drive in. I didn’t want to interfere in your date.”

  “Well, you did.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I saw him about to kiss you, and I hit the car with my fist. How was I supposed to know it had an alarm?”

  I shook my head, anger still boiling beneath my skin.

  “I’m sorry,” he added.

  “I need you to be more than sorry.” His face screwed up, and I figured I’d just admit the truth of it. “You can’t tell anyone about us.”

  “Why? Not that I was planning to.”

  “He’s the TA of my class. He could get in a lot of trouble for dating me.”

  Chance’s body straightened, and suddenly I felt small next to his tall frame.

  “You’re dating the teacher’s assistant for your class? Are you crazy?”

  That stiffened my spine. “Why the hell not? He’s hot, smart, a man, and not goofy like the rest of you boys.”

  “Huh…boys?”

  “Don’t get all pissy. He’s the first guy to take me out and not paw at me like I was a new bone.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Is that so?”

  I closed my eyes. “Fine, you didn’t either. That’s why...never mind.”

  His hand rubbed his chin as if he was thinking. “You want me to keep your secret?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay, I will, but you have to do something for me.”

  Why had I told him? It wasn’t like he knew. Then again, he might have found out. But would he have told anyone? Probably not, so why had I told him? The questions bounced around like a tennis ball in my head. I let it be. That puzzle was for another day.

  “What do you want?”

  He stepped forward and took my hands. “To give me a shot.”

  “What? I don’t date two people at the same time.”

  “Why not? Has he asked you not to? Have you even had that discussion with him?”

  We hadn’t, but I wasn’t going to admit that. “I’m not in the business of kissing multiple guys.”

  “So we don’t have to do anything. Just go out with me.”

  “When?”

  “The day after you go out with him, assuming you’re available.”

  “And that’s it? You’re not going to try to kiss me or bad-mouth him?”

  “I don’t have to resort to putting him down for you to realize who the better man is.”

  My mouth worked, opening and closing in an attempt to say something with wit and sarcasm to refute him. “What if I decide to sleep with him?”

  I could tell the shot hit home. But points for him for only remaining mute a few seconds. His voice was rough and sexy as all hell when he spoke next.

  “Then I’ll back off. That will mean I lost.”

  “Chance.”

  He shook his head. “Tomorrow night at seven?”

  What else could I do? I nodded, giving him affirmation of our deal.

  Without another word, he walked away. He didn’t drive out like his wheels were on fire. The car left slowly, like I’d wounded him and he was doing his best to leave with his head held high.

  And wasn’t that something. Because my heart ached from how I’d hurt him or how he’d hurt me so long ago, I didn’t know.

  Kelley was in the living room when I arrived.

  “What happened? You look like shit.”

  We knocked fists before I handed him his keys back. “Thanks for letting me borrow your truck.” My night had been shit knowing she was out with another guy. And when Kelley saw me pacing the floor, he offered to lend me his truck so I could go and check to make sure Brie had gotten home.

  “You don’t have to ask. You’re like my brother.” Using words another guy on the team said all the time, he added, “Brothers from a different mother.”

  I had to smile at that because that guy liked to say that a lot.

  “You mean brothers with different parents,” I joked.

  He laughed. “Exactly. So, what happened?” he asked again, not giving up.

  “When I got there, she wasn’t there. That didn’t last. Let’s just say I accidently set a car alarm off and broke shit up between them.”

  He put his fist to his mouth as his eyes crinkled in amusement. “You didn’t.”

  “I didn’t do it on purpose.” I laughed, because I felt better getting that shit off my chest. “Trust me. It was a total mistake.”

  “Was she pissed?”

  “Hell yeah!”

  “So, what was the long face for? Did she tell you to fuck off?”

  “In so many words. Though I bargained my way in order to take her out tomorrow.”

  “And she turned you down.”

  “No, she agreed.” I understood his puzzled expression, but I would keep Brie’s confidence.

  “So what…”

  Lenny walked in wearing sleep shorts and a cami. So much had changed over the last few weeks. Kelley’s words had drifted off as he tracked her like a lion in a pasture watching a gazelle.

  “What are you boys up to?” she said, unaware Kelley would pounce on her at any second.

  I jumped in, taking charge of the conversation, needing information. “Do you know where Brie went tonight?”

  Her index finger came up, and she moved it side to side. “No way. I’m not getting in the middle of you two.”

  Kelley prowled in her direction. Focused on me, she still hadn’t noticed.

  “You don’t have to give me the details of their date. I just want to know where he took her.”

  She closed her mouth and jolted when Kelley grabbed her by the hips. “Come on. Tell the man. He’s a good guy. You know this.”

  Sighing, he obviously had the right touch. “Fine, but I don’t know for sure what they did. I haven’t talked to her tonight.”

  I decided to keep my mouth shut for the moment on the whole ambushing her in the parking lot.

  “They were su
pposed to go to a fancy restaurant a couple of towns over and to the movies. But again, I’m not sure what they did.”

  “Where are you going to take her?” Kelley asked, making Lenny’s face screw up.

  I explained what I’d shared with Kelley, giving a little more detail, but still leaving out the part about exactly who the guy was. If Brie wanted her to know, she probably already did. But Kelley didn’t. And even though he was my best friend, I’d made a promise to Brie.

  They both had suggestions of where I could take Brie for my date, but I had other ideas. Kelley would lend me his truck again, no questions asked. And I would have a lot to do in a short time after practice tomorrow afternoon.

  The next morning, I brought her another coffee and muffin using some of the little savings I had left to get through the school year. She hadn’t complained about me showing up the day before, and I needed her to think of me when that guy was around.

  “Chance, you really don’t have to do this.”

  “Promise me you’ll eat in the morning and I won’t.”

  When she didn’t say anything, I headed off to my first class. I was distracted most of the day knowing I had one shot at making an impression. Fucking up so long ago had put me at a disadvantage.

  The sun beat down on us as we ran drills on the field that afternoon. Gatorade and water were given to us on a regular basis. Still, the heat tired us out more than whatever Coach was throwing at us.

  “Abbott,” Coach called.

  Kelley and Sawyer eyed me as I walked over.

  “Scouts are coming to see Moore. This is your opportunity to show that they should also be looking at you.”

  “He deserves it,” I said.

  “And so do you. You work hard. You’re a team player. And I know what this could do for you and your family.”

  Coach was very aware of where I came from. He’d recruited me and was the determining factor of who got scholarships on the team. I, along with Kelley and many of the guys, depended on his goodwill in order to attend the university.

  “Now get back out there.”

  As I ran plays and sweated my ass off, I thought about how my life could change if I made it into the NFL.