Catching Fireflies

by Terri E. Laine

  “I never saw stars growing up.”

  “What was it like to live in a big city?”

  “It’s different. One of the many reasons why I prefer it here over Chicago.”

  We lay there in silence for a lot longer with our fingers entwined. As the closeness crept in, fear won out. I pulled free.

  “I should probably get home. I have class in the morning.”

  Agreeing, he dusted me off and then himself before packing up the blanket. He helped me in the truck, making me feel small and girly. And I hated he was doing all the right things.

  At my dorm, he insisted on walking me to my door.

  “This really isn’t necessary.”

  “It is for me,” he countered. “If something were to happen, how could I live with the knowledge that taking this time could have changed whatever bad outcome?”

  I glanced down, not sure how to respond. His kindness would be my weakness. It had been before and nothing had changed.

  “Goodnight,” I said when I gathered my courage to glance up.

  Taking my hand, he brought it to my lips and kissed my knuckles. “Be safe.”

  He wasn’t leaving until I went inside, so I used my keycard and opened the door. I resisted the urge to turn back, knowing he could see me through the small square window. I picked up my pace and ducked into the stairwell, jogging up the steps. At the top, I flattened myself to the wall, gathering my breath.

  I will not fall, I will not fall, I chanted in my head. Something I couldn’t do in my room unless I wanted my roommate to call health services on me. Once I calmed, I made my way inside and tried to forget the gorgeous boy who caused fireflies to light up my heart.

  In the locker room after practice, Sawyer caught Kelley’s attention.

  “It’s on,” Sawyer said.

  Kelley nodded and finished getting ready.

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked.

  The plan was simple. An asshole who’d created a shit storm of problems for Kelley and Lenny would get his due tonight at the frat house Sawyer and Ashton belonged to.

  “This is the only way it ends. Last time was on his terms. This time, I’ll use his terms against him,” Kelley said.

  His archenemy, if one could be called that, deserved worse than he was getting. We were going to finish the deed tonight.

  Knocking his fist, I said, “I’ve always got your back.”

  Sawyer and Ashton came over. “We’ve got you, bro,” Sawyer added and Ashton nodded.

  After we all left, heading to the café for dinner, Sawyer said, “What’s up with you and the brunette?”

  “Brie,” Ashton corrected.

  “Yeah, her,” Sawyer said, not missing a beat. “She’s hot. Wasn’t she that girl you messed with freshman year?”

  “Give the guy some space, Sawyer,” Kelley cut in.

  “I’m just saying she must be some hot piece of ass,” Sawyer said.

  “She’s not like that,” I growled, annoyed that Sawyer would lump her in with the types of girls he slept with.

  “Damn, what’s up with everyone? First Kelley, though I expected that. Now you,” he said to me. Then he glared at Ashton. “Are you next?”

  Ashton glared back at him until Sawyer glanced away.

  “What’s up with you two?” I blurted.

  Kelley gave me a look like really, you went there. But fuck it. I didn’t care. I knew they were best friends. But there was something else. We all felt it. And if it was what I thought, I wouldn’t judge. To each their own.

  Sawyer’s expression grew distant as he thought for a second. “Nothing. Then again, maybe he’s still pissed about the girl who used him to get to me.”

  “What girl?” I asked.

  “One he won’t let me forget.” Sawyer balled up paper I didn’t notice in his hand and never once looked at Ashton.

  “What happened?” I pressed.

  Normally, I didn’t bug anyone about their business, but Sawyer was giving insight to something I’d wondered about for the last two years.

  “Ask Ash.” He abruptly turned. “I don’t think I’m hungry. I’ll check you guys later.”

  It was the first time I’d seen Sawyer off-balance. There had to be a whole lot more to the story because Ashton looked like he’d seen a ghost as well.

  Ashton said, “I’ll talk to him,” and began to turn to follow Sawyer.

  “Tonight?” Kelley confirmed.

  Ashton lifted his head in acknowledgement before rushing off.

  Kelley glanced at me. “I can’t believe you did that.” He shook his head.

  “What? You can’t say you haven’t wondered the same thing.”

  “Like what? If they are doing more together than sharing women?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I don’t know. If they are, that’s their business. But you heard just now. Some girl came between them, and it sounds like maybe Ashton really liked that girl. Maybe that’s all, hard feelings.”

  “Hard feelings don’t make you practically inseparable.”

  “They’ve known each other all their lives. They grew up like brothers. No girl could break a bond like that.”

  “You could be right. Anyway, it’s not like I care what they do. It wouldn’t change my friendship with them.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said. Further up, I saw Lenny standing by the cafeteria doors. “Oh, by the way, I may have overheard that Brie’s going out with that guy on Friday to some art gallery show.”

  Art gallery? How could I possibly compete with that?

  “Thanks, man.”

  I headed inside while Kelley and Lenny stopped to talk. In the line, I was stopped by one of my classmates from my engineering analysis class.

  “We’re forming a study group if you’re interested,” she was saying when Kelley, Lenny, and Brie walked in.

  They hadn’t noticed me yet. I reached to pick up my tray, when the girl snagged my arm. “Here’s my number. She wrote it in pen on my palm.”

  “Sure,” I said quickly and glanced up to lock eyes with Brie.

  I pushed the guilty thoughts out of my head. Again, I hadn’t done anything wrong. Brie seemed unfazed. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. She headed over.

  “Making plans for this weekend?” she asked too cheerfully.

  “Brie, it’s not what you think.”

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. We aren’t dating. We’re friends.”

  Okay, I decided I was pissed. Maybe I wanted her to be jealous.

  “She’s in my class. Some people are getting a study group together, and she asked if I wanted to join.”

  “She was cute. You should ask her out.”

  “The only person I want to make plans with is you. How about Saturday? And don’t bother to make excuses. I know about your date on Friday.”

  Her jaw dropped. “What? Are you stalking me?”

  I shook my head.

  “Did Lenora tell you?”

  I shook my head again.

  “Kelley, then?”

  “He may have overheard something, so you can’t blame either of them.”

  Our conversation stopped as we went through the checkout. Once we made it to the table, she said, “You’re really going to hold me to this. Honestly, I’m not sure why.”

  “We have a good time together.”

  “So?” she countered.

  “Can you really be yourself with that guy?”

  “He took me to a really nice restaurant the other night. And he’s taking me to an art show this weekend. It’s stuff I did growing up.”

  I’d kind of forgotten that Brie grew up with money. She didn’t carry herself like someone who could have it all at a snap of a finger.

  “I guess a picnic with fireflies and gazing at the stars couldn’t compare,” I muttered bitterly.

  Her head whipped around. “I didn’t say that. I had an amazing time with you.”

  That straightened my spine. I coul
d see in the way she held my gaze she meant it.

  “So, what’s the problem then?”

  She glanced around. Kelley and Lenny hadn’t taken their seats yet. They were still in the line.

  “Nothing. But you can’t think that you snap your fingers and I’m supposed to come running. I gave you a shot, and you gave it up. That’s why this isn’t a good idea. I don’t want to give you hope where none exists.”

  Her words should have made me run, but I wasn’t ready to give up. She was right. I had to earn her heart again. If I gave up so easily, that would mean I didn’t value her enough to try, even if I was fighting an uphill battle.

  “There’s always hope. You’re going to see this guy isn’t the one for you. And I’ll be there when you do.”

  Kelley and Lenny took their seats next to us, and the conversation changed. At first, I didn’t have a clue what I could do to one-up the other guy. But slowly a plan began to form.

  Later that night after I’d fallen asleep, my phone rang. Groggily, I picked it up.

  “Dad.”

  “Chance, is that you?”

  “Yes, Dad. Have you been drinking?”

  “No.” He chuckled. And I didn’t believe him. “They put me on some medication.”

  Medication. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m fine. It’s fine. I’m home now. I was at the hospital this evening.”

  “What?” I bolted upright in bed.

  “I thought I was having a heart attack.”

  Panic welled up in me. “I can catch an Uber home.” It would kill my savings, but I didn’t care.

  “No need. Turns out that burrito I ate didn’t exactly work with me.”

  Dad loved Mexican food. He ate it all the time. It seemed odd that he would have a problem with a burrito.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, they ran all kinds of tests. It’s something called acid reflux, like heartburn. It feels like a heart attack, but it’s not. No need to worry.”

  I lay back and tried to calm my racing heart. No matter how much Dad’s drinking bothered me, I still loved the guy.

  “I just wanted you to know. And I planned on coming to your last home game, but I think I’m going to hang out at home.”

  “Yeah, no worries. Get some rest. Are you sure you don’t want me to come home?”

  “Absolutely. I’ll watch your game on TV. By the way, I’ve been seeing your name in the paper more.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, one day the guys down at the job will be begging me to get tickets to see you play with the pros.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up.”

  Silence filled the gap in our conversation. Despite the late hour, I broke it. “How’s work?”

  “Work’s work. But listen. I got some news I wanted to share.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I hired a private detective.”

  My stomach sank. Dad didn’t have money like that. But Mom had always been his obsession.

  “Do you really think that was wise?”

  “I had to know. When you fall in love one day, you’ll understand.”

  Didn’t I already understand? Brie was dating another guy, and I was still chasing her. In what universe was that not a loser move?

  “And what did they find out?”

  “Much. They have her current address.”

  Sitting on the couch at the boys’ place, Lenora and I waited for Shelly, our other friend, to arrive so we could go to the football game. Shell and I had attended high school together for a short while before she moved. The guys had already left because they had to be there way before we did. Mason, Lenny’s son, was taking a nap.

  “So, how was the date?” she asked.

  A smile warmed my cheeks. “He’s such a gentleman. It was so much fun, getting dressed up and having him walk me around holding my hand. I can tell you, most of the women there gave me dirty looks.”

  “When can I meet him?” She snagged my phone. “You must have pictures.”

  It was too late to get it from her, and it wasn’t locked as I’d been checking messages a second before.

  “Look at this. You guys look so cute.”

  She wasn’t talking about Davenport. “Is this when you and Chance went out?”

  “Yes,” I said somberly.

  “It looks like you guys had fun. Look at all these selfies.”

  “He took them,” I admitted.

  “I don’t know why you don’t give him a chance.” She laughed at her pun.

  “Honestly.” I glared at her.

  “He obviously knows he made a mistake. And besides, I don’t see the other guy’s pictures on your phone.”

  I pushed some hair out of my face, longing for an elastic to pull it back. “It would have been childish for me to ask him to take a selfie at an art show. The people there weren’t college kids. They were sophisticated people.”

  But even I heard how pretentious my words sounded as they came out of my mouth. Her brows shot up.

  “What’s the real deal with this guy? How old is he?”

  “He’s twenty-four. Only three years and some months older than me.”

  She folded her arms over her chest.

  “Fine, but you can’t tell anyone.”

  Then she really gave me a scathing look.

  “Okay, if anyone can keep a secret, it’s you.”

  I wasn’t sure why I held back from telling her. Then again, if I analyzed the situation, it was due to my own guilt and fear of judgment that held me back.

  “I told you he was a psychology major?”

  She nodded.

  “He’s a graduate student and a TA for one of my classes.”

  Her mouth formed an O. “He’s a teaching assistant for your class? Isn’t that against the rules?”

  “Yes, but he sought me out. And you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

  “I won’t. But this can cause you trouble. Is he worth it?”

  I thought about Davenport. “Yes, he’s gorgeous. And he treats me like a princess. He even respects that I’m a virgin.”

  “He knows?”

  “Yeah, it kind of came up in class. Long story, but a few of us raised our hands when our professor raised the question as a part of one of his lectures.”

  “Damn, and he hasn’t put pressure on you?”

  I didn’t have to think about my answer. “No, we haven’t even kissed yet.”

  Her jaw did the yoyo thing. “It’s not like he hasn’t tried. But that first time, Chance was there. And last night just as he leaned in, his phone rang and he had to go.”

  She stared at me. “I know what you are thinking, but it’s just timing. I think he could be the one.” I rolled my eyes at her expression. “Close your mouth, Lenora. Flies and all that. And not like I’m going to marry the guy. But I’m tired of being a virgin. The only reason I haven’t done it before now is because that’s only what the guys ever wanted. Davenport is different. He’s put no pressure on me. Besides, he’s older. He probably knows what he’s doing better than anyone our age.”

  The doorbell rang, and Shell strode in. “I’m here, bitches.” After she said it, she glanced at Lenora and covered her mouth. “Sorry,” she added, searching for Mason who wasn’t in the room.

  “It’s cool,” Lenora said, seeing that no one else was in the room with us. “I’m going to get ready.”

  Shell and I sat back on the couch. “You and Chance, I hear.”

  “You heard wrong,” I said.

  “He’s hot. If you hadn’t snagged him freshman year, I would have been all over that.”

  “You’re such a slut,” I teased.

  “Better than being a prude.”

  We laughed, because honestly, I didn’t think she was a slut. She hadn’t been with many guys from what I knew.

  “And then Lenny has Kelley wrapped around her throat. Lucky bitch. Their shipping name would be like Kenny or Lelley.”

  “Oh, plea
se don’t go there.”

  “That leaves me with Ash. He’s so fucking hot.”

  “Everyone’s hot to you.”

  “No, not everyone.”

  “Come on,” I said. “Sawyer is a total hottie.”

  “And a manwhore, don’t forget that.”

  “The right girl will change him,” I said, because the way she talked about Sawyer, I was sure she was interested.

  “Not me. I’ll take tall, handsome, and silent. There is something to be said about guys who don’t talk a lot.”

  “And what’s that?” I asked.

  “It means he can use his mouth for other things.”

  She cackled a laugh, and I just shook my head. Not long later, we sat in the stands. Things got dicey for a minute when some stupid girls were talking about Kelley and wouldn’t shut up. I was sure Shell was going to fight them.

  We watched the game, but chatted among ourselves more. It was with little time left in the game, things got intense. Kelley went down after getting the ball to Chance. We all waited in horror to see if he would get up. Lenora hardly took a breath until Kelley waved, signaling he was okay. A couple plays later, it was Chance after given the ball, who scored the winning touchdown. The crowd went wild, flooding the field since time had run out. I had to admit, I was a little jealous of all the girls who jumped all over Chance to congratulate him.

  We made our way out of the stands. On the field, I watched the team form a circle and chant before barking out the word “lions,” our school mascot, in a unified shout. They broke apart and I spotted Kelley first, searching for his girl. When he saw her, he headed our way.

  “You should go to him,” Lenora said before being swept up by him.

  Shell and I stood off to the side. She stared at Ashton.

  “I’ll be back,” she said, leaving me alone.

  I watched in utter astonishment as she strode over to where Ashton stood watching his friends. She got to her toes and pressed her mouth to his. His eyes went wide, but he didn’t push her away.

  “Brie.”

  I glanced in front of me and found a jersey. Craning my neck back, I stared into the magnificent blue eyes of Chance. I think I said his name before adding, “Congratulations.”

  “I can’t get more than that?”