The sun set and Kat walked down the beach, watching the waves surge across her feet, feeling nothing. She found it interesting the way she could feel the cold water, but yet . . . not. She looked around and made sure no Raaka followed or anyone else. The last thing she needed was them to find her.
Her life changed so much in the span of a day. She no longer had her job, friends, anyone. She couldn’t go home, couldn’t go to Kober because Julian would know.
Where could she go?
Who could she trust?
She was alone and had nobody.
Kat kept going until she found herself in front of Inferno. She looked at the stairs leading down into the club and wondered why she’d come. Julian was probably inside. Turning to leave, she spotted Cage headed her way, and ran into the club before she thought through what she was doing.
As soon as she walked in, Kat knew she’d made the wrong decision. Sean and the other Raaka males stood by the bar, talking to the bartender. Cage came up behind her and she froze, too scared to turn around. The Raaka hadn’t noticed her come in, and she hoped she could turn around and leave without them seeing her. Please god, don’t turn around.
When she went to leave, Cara appeared, looking concerned. “My dear, you look awful. Why don’t you come in and eat?”
Kat shook. “I’m fine. I’m not hungry. I should go.” The Raaka turned her way when Cage walked past her, and the combination of his movement and Cara’s voice caught their attention. Their eyes locked and she shook harder.
“No, you shouldn’t, Kat. You’re starving. You need to eat.” Cara commanded, reaching for her arm.
“Forget it!” Kat snatched her arm away before Cara could touch her. “I’m not going to eat.” She looked at Sean, “Ever!” She snarled, which made her pause. I growl? Ashamed, she whispered, “I will never feed. . . .” Sean and the others began heading toward her. Kat backed away and moved closer to the door.
Cara stepped toward her. “Kat, please. I can help you. Let me protect you.” She looked back at Sean and the others. Cara knew they wouldn’t get closer with her there, but Kat wasn’t as sure. They waited for her to move further away from Cara.
“What help, Cara? I don’t deserve help. I deserve this. . . .” She whispered before bolting.
Kat ran until she was sure she’d lost Sean and the others, running faster than she ever thought possible. When she finally stopped, she was in the middle of a cemetery. She wasn’t sure how she’d found it. The one thought in her mind was to get away from the Raaka. Now she was in the middle of the cemetery, aware that in a few hours the sun would rise, and she would need to hide.
Another wave of pain surged, and she shook worse than before. She didn’t know how much longer she could resist. Everyone she passed made her hungry, she burned with the pain and fear, with the urge to rip into them the way she never had wanted to before.
She felt so alone and wanted to die.
Looking around the cemetery, Kat knew it’d be a good place to find shelter. She’d have to find a mausoleum or another large building like that, that she could hide in. She lowered herself down against the closest gravestone, hidden by some bushes. She felt so weak that she was surprised she could stand up.
Awareness swept over her, and her muscles tensed. Someone walked up behind her.
“Let me help you, Kat.” Kober’s patient voice swept through her, and the fear dissipated. Her muscles relaxed. It wasn’t one of the Raaka.
“Go away, Kober.” She whispered, bringing her knees into her chest, hugging them with her arms. She pressed her face against the gravestone to feel the cold beneath her skin, cuddling against it, grateful she could feel something.
He bent down, “Kat. You must feed. You will die.”
Kat refused to look at him. “Go away, I said. I’m already dead. Let me go. Please.”
Kober stood and extended a hand. “Come with me. You don’t have much time left. I will not allow you to die.”
Kat forced herself to her feet, turning on Kober and allowing the wolf to surface. “You have no choice. I don’t want anything to do with you. Leave!” She growled and ran off, leaving him dumbfounded. His heart ached. He would be surprised if she survived another twenty-four hours. There was only one thing he could do.
****
Kober stood in Julian’s office, telling him, “Julian, if you do not help her, she will die. You need to find her. She refuses to feed. She wants to die, because she believes she disappointed you. She is doing this because of you. Because she thinks it is her fault.”
Forty Five
Kat found a mausoleum and slept through the next day. Nobody was around and it was comfortable. It was a good place to die. She couldn’t make it any farther anyway. Her body was so dehydrated, she could feel death taking over within. She could no longer stand, so she’d taken a seat against the stone coffin located within.
The full moon shined through the stained glass window in front of her, casting a silver glow over the interior. The stained glass held the mythical phoenix in the center. She thought it was beautiful and fitting, but this phoenix didn’t plan on rising out of any ashes. She closed her eyes, wishing, and waiting for death to take over.
“Kat.”
A voice whispered beside her, caressing her with the silken safety net she craved so much. Imagining Julian was there with her in her final moments was nice, but that was another wish she couldn’t have. It would make things easier.
Her wish became reality when his scent floated her way, and cold fear washed over her. Her hands shook. “Please don’t hurt me. I’m so sorry.” The tears began to flow. “Walk away. Please.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She stared at the moon, afraid of the anger she’d see.
“Kat—” Julian began.
“No. I know I screwed up. I know. Just leave.” Kat begged. “Please.”
Julian walked over and knelt down in front of her, making sure she looked up at him before he spoke, “You know I can’t do that.” He took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him when she turned away. “It’s not your fault. You need to feed or you will die.”
Kat laughed and choked back the tears, “I know Julian. Let me.”
Julian’s gaze held the pain she felt as though it were his own. He searched every inch of her face, furious over what Cameron did. He knew they couldn’t be together, but he couldn’t live with himself if she died. He couldn’t live without her. “Kat, I can’t do that. I can’t lose you. Hold on. For me.”
A tear fell down Kat’s cheek. Julian sat down beside her and brought his wrist up, biting it, and offering it to her. “No, Julian. I can’t. I can’t live like this. I can’t be this thing.”
Julian stroked her cheek, “I will not watch you die. I won’t allow it. Do you hear me? You are forbidden from dying, by my order.”
Kat looked at his wrist, up into his eyes, then back to his wrist. “Julian, I said no.”
“You heard me.” Julian growled, lifting his wrist to her mouth, knowing the animal in her wouldn’t resist the smell of blood. He held her face with his other hand, whispering the command into her ear. “Feed.” No Awakened could refuse a solid command in that state, let alone from the Prince.
Kat stared at the blood getting closer to her mouth. It smelled so good, she couldn’t bear it. The animal within her hungered for the blood worse than ever. She tried to resist the smell, but as much as she tried, Julian’s command in her ear was the final push. Without thought, she grabbed his arm and sunk her teeth in.
She gagged on the taste filling her mouth, but as she kept going, it began tasting sweeter to her, and the warmth filled her body. She wondered how she’d resisted for so long as the sweet nectar flowed through her.
Julian’s free hand pressed against the top of her head and stroked her hair. He whispered in her ear, “That’s enough.”
She stopped and pulled away, half ashamed she’d drank his blood and also for being stupid enough to allow Cameron th
e chance to Awaken her. She leaned back against the base of the coffin, licking her lips, and her lids drooped.
Julian watched her, wishing he could take away all that she’d seen and experienced in the past few days. He hurt for her and wondered how long until the Raaka blood took over and she began to hate him. He brushed the hair from her face and told her, “It will get better. You will learn to adjust.”
Kat opened her eyes to look at him, maneuvering her body to lie down, so she could rest her head on his lap. “I can’t do this Julian.”
Julian watched her laying on his lap, and a surge of protectiveness swept through him. He knew she wasn’t Runsasi like him, and it was another reason why they couldn't be together, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of protecting her forever. He wanted this extraordinary woman to be in a relationship with him, and it was hard for him to imagine her not. It hurt him to think she’d soon hate him. He stroked her hair and knew, despite all that, deep down, she was his. “You can do it, Kat. You are just as strong as you were. Remember that. You are strong enough to handle this, stronger now.”
A tear fell down her cheek, knowing Julian would be leaving, which broke her heart. “Please don’t leave me, Julian.”
Julian continued stroking her hair, telling her, “I can’t stay.”
Kat sat up and looked into his eyes. He reached up and brushed away the tear falling down her cheek. Kat saw no hint of eagerness to leave. “Why? Stay with me. I can’t do this. Please. I refuse to live as this animal.” She whispered on the brink of breaking.
A soft smile pierced through Julian’s stone façade, “You can do this Kat. You are no animal, there just lives within you one. Don’t fear the wolf when it comes. You will come to hate me. I must go.”
He stroked her cheek, down to her lips, and Kat looked down at his mouth, “Julian.” She begged.
Without hesitation, Julian pulled her mouth to his and kissed her as though it were the last time he’d ever see her. He pulled away and she smiled. “You are so beautiful. I promise you, I will make him pay.”
Kat closed her eyes and sucked on her bottom lip, tasting him with new senses that magnified everything. “I could never hate you.” She opened her eyes and smiled at him.
“You will. It is in your blood.”
“I don’t want to. I don’t want to hate you. I want to be with you.” She bit her lip to keep from crying.
“You belong to him, Kat. You are his blood. As much as I hate how he did it. What it means. You are his now. His blood; his mate—”
“No! I don’t want to be. Take it back. Do something, change it. You’re the Prince, you have the authority.”
Julian put a finger against her lips. “By our laws, I should’ve killed you. I can’t do that. A prince has to give his permission to Awaken a human into a clan—any clan—and without it? Death is the fate of an unlawful Awakening, unless there is a compelling reason why the prince shouldn’t, which is beyond rare.” He grabbed her face. “I can’t do that to you. I can’t undo what you are or where you belong. We can’t be together.”
Tears made their way down her cheeks, “I don’t want this. Do what you have to. I don’t want be this thing. I’m sorry. I don’t. Kill me then.”
“No. Live the new life you were given. It will get better. I will make sure of it. Trust me.” He paused and looked deep within her. “Don’t kill yourself. Promise me.”
Kat looked down a moment. “I promise.”
“Go home. Do not be afraid of who you have become. Learn from it. Become the strong woman all those Raaka saw in you and prove it to them. Simply because you were Awakened against your will, doesn’t mean you can’t be who you want to be. Be the beautiful woman you are.”
Kat stood up, feeling better as Julian’s blood worked its way through her system, reviving her. The sun would be coming up soon. They would be stuck inside the mausoleum until the sun set again. She looked out the window. She rubbed her arms. “I am sorry, Julian.” She turned around to look at him, leaning against the concrete for support, “I am. I didn’t want this. I can’t explain what happened with him. I just . . . I liked him. I was attracted to him in this . . . I don’t even know. I can’t explain it.” She watched Julian stiffen and clench his jaw, aware she touched a raw nerve.
“You don’t want, or need, to hear this. I’m sorry it happened. I don’t want be with him. I don’t want to belong to him. I want out of this. Maybe I should leave here.” She allowed her legs to fold beneath her and slid down to the floor.
Julian watched her, not sure what he should do. “I can’t make you stay, but you know if you try to leave, Cameron will come after you. I’m surprised he hasn’t found you yet. I know he’s looking for you.”
Kat scrubbed her face with her hands. “I’m sure he is. I don’t fucking care. I know what he’ll do to me when he sees me. I ran out on him. Why else would I be hiding out here? I don’t want him.”
“Yes, you do. He may have done this to you against your will, but there is an attraction between the two of you, you can’t deny. You know you are still attracted to him. It’s on a deeper level.”
Kat sighed. “It was. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. Leaving sounds good though.” She smiled. “Ya wanna come?”
Julian grinned and shook his head. “Go home, Kat. I don’t like having to order you to do it, but that’s obviously the only way to get you to listen to me. It makes me furious to think of you with Cameron, but as a Raaka, he has an obligation to teach you what you are. If he doesn’t, I will take over.”
“That wasn’t an answer.” Kat leaned her head back, closing her eyes.
“You will feel differently about me soon.”
Kat opened her eyes and raised her head. “Why, Julian? Why do you say that? What makes you think I will?”
“It’s in your blood. I hate it, but it’s there.”
Kat shook her head, “Never happen. I want to be with you, not him.”
Julian nodded and made his way to sit next to her. She lay her head down on his lap as he stroked her hair in the quiet.
Forty Six
Kat stood inside her condo looking around. The couch, the bookcase, the entire room, it all looked so different. Nothing even looked like it belonged to her anymore, as though she’d stepped into a movie of the past.
Julian and her had parted ways when the sun set, him still adamant she’d hate him soon enough. On her walk home, it occurred to her how good he was getting at the excuses.
Do you even want be with me, Julian?
She couldn’t deny the connection between her and Julian. When she needed him the most, he was always there without her having called. When he was around, nobody and nothing could hurt her. They were all that existed in the world.
Kat sighed. “What am I supposed to do?” She should go see Cameron. An urgent need overcame her, as though he commanded her to come back. Hell, it was only a matter of time before he and the others found her. She slipped past Daryl, but they had to know she was home by now, right?
She left her condo and bumped into Sean in the hallway. “Well, I guess you’re my ride. I was just headed over there.”
Sean grinned. “You look good, Kitty Kat.” He stroked her cheek before he seized her chin and slammed her back into the wall. “I don’t appreciate you throwing me across the fucking room, you know? Do you have any idea what he’s going to do to you for running out?” He shoved her loose.
Kat shoved him backward into the wall, snarling, “Get off me, or I’ll throw you down the hallway. He should be lucky I didn’t fucking run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would find me anywhere, but that isn’t the god. damn. point. He had no right to do this to me. I’m not his little pet. Remember that. You watch yourself. You idiots shouldn’t have underestimated me. I’m not going to bow down to you, or anyone else.”
Sean brushed invisible dirt off his arms, laughing. “You’re something else. Already acting stuck-up, aren’t you? You don’t want to push me around. I don’t sta
y Cameron’s right-hand man because I’m a fucking pussy, bitch. You, remember that.” He snarled back, much larger than before.
Fear boiled in Kat’s stomach and she backed down. Not before shoving past him and heading downstairs to the main lobby. Max and Jake stood by the desk, talking with Daryl. Two other Raaka stood outside by one of the two cars they’d driven there. She grinned. Cameron thought he’d have a fight on his hands and would need a lot of man power.
Nice.
Forty Seven
Cameron sat at his desk when she entered with Sean—the others stayed outside. He got up when she came in. “Well, look who decided to show,” he said.
Kat smiled. Julian was right. There was still an attraction between her and Cameron. But for her, that’s all there was. She felt no interest in him beyond as her clan’s leader, and her mate whom she was stuck with. She’d even pick Sean to play with over Cameron. She snorted. “Careful or I may run again. Unless you plan on doing something else against my fucking will?”
Cameron walked up to her with a smile on his face. He caressed her face. “You’re too beautiful for me to hate.” Before she responded, he struck her and knocked her to the floor. “Remember who you’re dealing with. You belong to me,” he snarled. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me again, or I can promise you, you won’t be able to walk for days.”
Kat turned to face him and growled, “You hit me again, Cameron. Just you dare.”
“Hit you, Kat?” He laughed, “I don’t need to hit you to own you.” His eyes began to glow and he snatched her by the neck, picking her up. He raised her to her feet and slammed her back into the wall. Keeping her there, he growled in her face, “You reek of me. Everyone can smell me on you. You are mine.” His hand clamped down on her neck and she whimpered in pain. “You treat me with the respect I fucking deserve. Don’t ever think you can run from me again.” He pulled her away from the wall, then slammed her harder into it, snarling. “Do we understand each other?”
Dark Illusions: The Beginning Page 17