by J. H. Croix
He winked. “K. I’ll text you.”
A while later, she lay in bed, her mind replaying the evening again and again.
Chapter 6
“Hand me that hammer,” Sawyer said, holding his hand out blindly from where he stood under the deck.
He was helping Gage replace a partially rotted beam under the deck behind the ski lodge. The back end of the lodge had a sprawling deck that stretched across the entire central portion of the resort. It was level with the second floor where the restaurant was, affording Sawyer the ability to be able to stand under the deck while he and Gage worked. He wiggled his fingers when the hammer wasn’t forthcoming. “Any minute now.”
He felt the rubber handle land in his palm and curled it in his grip. Leaning back, he glanced up at the section they needed to replace. They’d already put up supports on both sides of the beam. He set to work, prying the rusty nails out. He talked while he worked, knowing that while he couldn’t see Gage, he was close by. “Dude, pretty sure this beam hasn’t been touched since they built this place.”
Gage’s voice startled him because it was closer than he expected. He glanced over to find Gage dipping his head and stepping under the deck. “How bad is it?” Gage asked, stopping beside him.
Sawyer dropped another rusty nail in a bucket nearby. “Nothing you didn’t already know. It’s rotten,” he said with a shrug, gesturing toward the beam with the hammer.
Gage rolled his eyes. “Thanks bro. I was curious if you can tell if it runs further than we thought.”
“Doesn’t look like it,” Sawyer replied as he reached up and knocked loose some of the rotted wood. Inside of a few more minutes, he’d loosened the beam enough for Gage to use a reciprocating saw to remove the entire section.
They had a replacement section ready. Working together, they put it in place. With both of them Navy SEAL’s, they shared an exacting approach to everything. Sawyer glanced to Gage after they’d removed the temporary supports under the deck and grinned. “Much better. What’s your next project?”
Gage flashed a quick grin in return. “I’d like to replace all of the decking with composite so we don’t have to worry about refinishing the damn thing every summer. In case you didn’t notice, we’ve got a big deck.”
Sawyer chuckled. “That you do.”
“Not me. We,” Gage said firmly.
Though Gage had been the one to move to Diamond Creek and renovate Last Frontier Lodge, largely on his own, he was insistent it was a shared endeavor among his siblings. Technically, although they had all inherited the lodge and its massive property when their grandmother passed away a few years ago, it was hard for Sawyer to feel like he was a part of it. He’d been overseas most of the time since Gage had moved up here. In what felt like nothing more than a blink of time, Garrett had followed Gage here and most recently Jessa. Becca was the only one of Sawyer’s siblings not living in Diamond Creek, although she visited several times a year.
Sawyer’s mind spun back to wondering what he might decide to do after his surgery. He supposed it came down to whether he wanted to be chained to an admin job in the military. His initial reaction to that was hell no. Even with bits of shrapnel annoying him and his knee making him gimpy, he was in close to peak condition. Yet, his leg wouldn’t ever be one hundred percent again, which meant he wouldn’t be in the condition necessitated for active duty as a Navy SEAL. He needed to make up his mind before it got made for him. Gage had reminded him too many times to count he’d be happy to have him stay and help him with the lodge. When Sawyer tried to argue he didn’t want to take advantage, Gage had rolled his eyes and slapped a copy of Gram’s will on his desk, pointedly reminded Sawyer he had a stake in the lodge as well.
With his mind chewing on those thoughts, Sawyer climbed the stairs onto the deck, noticing Gage had slowed his pace. He didn’t like to be annoyed about that, but he was. “No need to wait for me, I’m only a few steps behind.”
Gage glanced to his side, his eyes narrowing. “No need to be so cranky.”
They cleared the last step onto the deck, and Sawyer mentally grimaced. “Sorry bro. That bad?”
They sat down in unison at one of the picnic tables scattered about the deck. Gage ran a hand through his hair, his gray eyes landing on Sawyer. “Eh, not too bad. You were in a much better mood after you went out the other night though,” he said with a sly grin.
Sawyer threw his head back with a laugh. He had most definitely been in a good mood after his dinner with Violet. Truth be told, Violet had been crowding his thoughts ever since. He caught Gage’s gaze as his laugh slowed and he shrugged. “I suppose I was.”
“Thought you said now wasn’t a good time for a relationship.”
Sawyer sobered and rolled his head from side to side, easing the subtle tension in his neck. “Still isn’t,” he finally replied.
Gage had this tendency to watch and wait, which sometimes drove Sawyer batshit crazy. For example, right now he didn’t respond and simply kept his gaze on Sawyer. Sawyer shifted his shoulders, Violet strolling through his thoughts again. They’d had one date. That’s it. He didn’t think one date counted as anything close to a relationship, in fact he was damn confident it didn’t. Yet, Violet had left a mark on him, and not just because the chemistry between them was hot enough to singe him.
He met Gage’s gaze head on. “What’s that look for?”
Gage arched a brow. “Seems like you had more to say.”
Sawyer hooked his elbows on the edge of the table and leaned back, straightening his sore leg. “I dunno. Not sure what the hell I was thinking, but when I ran into Violet on my way out to go fishing, I asked her out to dinner. That’s it.”
Gage was quiet for another few beats before the slightest grin curved his mouth. “Huh? Well, sure seems like you like her.”
Sawyer pondered whether like included thinking about when he’d see Violet again and replaying what it felt like when her channel clenched around his fingers. Oh, it had been beyond amazing when she gave him the blowjob of a lifetime, but it had been even better to watch her come apart. He also wondered if like meant wondering all kinds of things about her, such as how come she moved all the way across the country by herself, what her favorite food was, and what she looked like when she was asleep. Yeah, he liked her. He was many things, but coward wasn’t one of them, so he caught Gage’s eyes and smiled ruefully. “Yeah, I like her. Doesn’t change the fact I’m about to go in for surgery in a few days.”
Gage shrugged. “So what? You’re alive and healthier than most. Before you know it, you’ll be back to top form. If you like Violet, don’t miss out on something good.”
A screeching sound drew Sawyer’s attention, and he glanced toward the ski slope directly behind them. This time of year, it was a grassy slope. “What’s that?” he asked, just as a pair of magpies came hurtling out of the trees chattering like mad.
Gage chuckled. “That screech was an eagle. I’m guessing those magpies got a little too close for comfort.”
Gage pointed to the side of the ski slope where towering spruce trees lined the slope. “There’s an eagle perched right there. Great spot to hunt. He doesn’t take well to being crowded.”
As Gage spoke, the magpies flew high above the trees and made a dive toward the eagle who didn’t move and let out another screech. Sawyer shook his head wonderingly. The eagle dwarfed the magpies, but they were a fearless bird and kept up their chatter as they flew across the slope into the trees on the other side. “Damn, it’s like a nature channel here.”
Gage nodded. “Pretty much. Anyway, eagles aside, if you ask me, you should take Violet out again.”
“Already asked her,” Sawyer countered with a laugh. He couldn’t quite believe himself, but he had. He’d barely been able to think about anything other than her when he’d departed her place the other evening. All he’d known was he wanted to see her again.
Gage burst out laughing this time. When he caught his breath, he looked to
Sawyer and shook his head. “Might as well stop acting like you’re not interested.”
At that moment, Gage’s wife stepped out through the door that led into a hallway behind the lodge kitchen. Marley Hamilton was plain gorgeous, nice as could be, and perfect for Gage. Sawyer couldn’t have been happier for him. Her auburn hair was pulled back in a ponytail that swung with her steps. She paused at Gage’s side and rested her hips on the edge of the picnic table. “Hey guys, how’d the beam repair go?” Her green eyes bounced between them.
Gage curled an arm around her hips and glanced up. “All taken care of. What’re you up to?”
“Updating our reservations webpage and making it so everything automatically goes from payment to the server here. That’ll make it easier at reception, so they don’t have to switch screens. I dropped Holly off at Mom’s a little while ago,” she said, referring to their two-year old daughter who happened to be Sawyer’s adored first niece.
“When will she be back home? I was hoping to take her with me to stop by Jessa’s studio this afternoon,” Sawyer said.
“You can pick her up if you want. You’re her new favorite uncle, so she’ll love it. I needed a few hours that didn’t involve constant interruptions. Let me know when you’re leaving, and I’ll call my mom.”
Sawyer glanced at his watch. “Not for another hour.”
Gage glanced from Sawyer to Marley with a sly grin. “Sawyer likes Violet.”
Marley grinned, almost gleefully. “Oh perfect! You need to focus on something other than your surgery. I don’t know Violet too well, but Ginger says she’s awesome.”
Ginger was Marley’s best friend and was often around the lodge with her husband Cam running the ski instruction programs here. Sawyer knew Ginger well enough to surmise she knew everything there was to know about anyone in the vicinity of Diamond Creek. He ran a hand through his hair and glared at Gage. “Thanks, dude. You just have to go and turn it into gossip.”
Gage was unrepentant and shrugged. “It’s not gossip if it’s family.”
Marley angled her head to the side. “I won’t gossip, and Ginger won’t either. It’s just that she’s nosy as hell and somehow manages to get people to tell her everything. If there’s anything to know about Violet, she probably knows it.”
Sawyer who’d never considered trying to glean information about a woman in his life was seriously considering finding a way to ask Ginger about Violet. Marley saved him from himself. “Don’t worry over it. I’ll find out everything Ginger knows so you won’t have to embarrass yourself,” she offered with a wide grin.
He fought to keep from thanking her because then he’d look as ridiculous as he felt. Marley dropped a kiss on Gage’s cheek and headed back into the kitchen, leaving them at the table with Gage’s shoulders shaking from laughter, while Sawyer wondered how he’d ended up this curious about a woman.
Violet typed at rapid fire speed, zooming through the charting for her last appointment and entering data from results into patient charts. She’d had a typically busy day, starting off with a little boy who’d come in for a leukemia screening. It wasn’t the first time she’d drawn blood for a child whose pediatrician wanted to screen for the very cancer she’d had as a little girl. It always made her heart squeeze. This little boy, Dustin, had reached in and grabbed her heart. He was sweet, curious and funny and the best sport ever. But wiggly as hell. She could do her damnedest to make blood draws cause as little pain as possible, but a wiggly little boy made her job difficult. Against those odds, she’d still managed to distract him enough to do her job. His presence brought old memories slamming to the fore. So many visits to the lab, so many visits to the doctor and hospital. She’d been on a first name basis with half the staff at her local hospital.
One look in his mother’s eyes, and she remembered that same look on her parents’ faces—controlled worry. His mother had been trying so hard to be cheerful and keep her chin up, but Violet had known it wasn’t easy. She’d wanted to say something and spout off statistics about how good the recovery rates for childhood leukemia were, but she hadn’t. It wasn’t helpful, or appropriate. She knew from Dustin’s referral from Dr. Quinn that he was there for leukemia screening, but she wasn’t his doctor and certainly didn’t know his symptoms. Good recovery rates weren’t one hundred percent, so she’d held her tongue and tried to imbue the entire appointment with cheer. It was quite easy with Dustin tending toward cheery and warm all on his own.
Violet clicked save and powered down her laptop. She spun in her chair, scanning her small room. She never knew what to call her space. It wasn’t an office per se, nor was it an exam room. She supposed it was a lab room, but it was hers alone. That was one thing she loved here at the hospital in Diamond Creek. It was busy, but not like New York City hospitals were busy. She’d worked in two there, and it had been chaotic to say the least. In both places, she’d shared space with many others. Here, she had her own area, so she could keep it the way she liked. It was the usual cool and sterile because it needed to be. She’d added a dash of color to the room with a bright purple curtain over the window.
She stood to quickly put away a few things. She paused by the window to look outside. When she’d applied for the position here, it never occurred to her she’d have a view right from the hospital. She laughed to herself because it was harder to find a place that didn’t have a view here than the opposite. Diamond Creek Hospital was situated slightly above the center of town on the hillside, offering a sweeping view of downtown and Kachemak Bay. It was early evening with the sun just now beginning to dip down the sky. She’d only experienced one summer in Alaska so far and was still getting used to the endless days. Her small window was almost smack in the middle of the hospital, offering a direct view of the bay and mountains on its far side. Boats dotted the water, and the light was soft, almost ethereal.
She lingered over the view before getting ready to leave. In between appointments, Sawyer kept interrupting her train of thought. Well, it was the opposite rather. The rest of her life kept interrupting her thoughts, which seemed stuck on Sawyer. She spent half of her time replaying what it felt like to have him blow her mind and leave her nearly in a puddle the other evening. The other half the time she wondered just what the hell she’d been thinking. She was in deep infatuation with him after only one dinner date. She’d thought herself long past this tendency. In her early twenties—she felt ancient at twenty-nine now—she’d wanted nothing more than to be swept off her feet. Back then, she fancied herself in love time and again. After she’d gotten over the demise of her engagement to Ted, she’d taken a clear look back and deduced she didn’t really know if she and Ted had been well suited. She’d wanted to be in love, and he went along with it. It was hard to believe he actually loved her. If he had, it was hard to imagine he could’ve so easily walked away.
Violet gave her head a shake. She didn’t need to dwell on the past. She needed to stay clear-eyed about her future and not fall head over heels in love. Sawyer made her feel silly and goofy. She used to love this part of dating—the fun rush of infatuation and wondering where things might go. She’d learned the hard way that this fun part didn’t mean the fantasy ending would come true. Sawyer was all kinds of amazing—sexy as hell with body honed from his years in the military, funny, nice, and clearly a family oriented guy. All through dinner, comments about his siblings and parents popped up. She couldn’t imagine he didn’t eventually want everything else that went with family. Therein lay the crux of her problem. She couldn’t let herself fall for someone like that because she’d be setting herself up for another fall, and it wasn’t really fair to him either.
Every time she brushed up against the train of thought, anxiety knotted in her chest, so she shoved the thoughts away. Nothing to be done. She couldn’t change the fact she was infertile. She needed to stop being all warm and fuzzy inside—okay, warm and fuzzy didn’t cut it, more like burning up with need.
She stepped outside and walked quickly
across the parking lot to her car. She’d been trying to figure out how to graciously bow out of another dinner with Sawyer. He’d surprised her by asking, and she’d surprised herself by saying yes. She didn’t like to think she was a coward, but right about now, she was thinking she’d rather text him and cancel. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him. It was the opposite. She wanted to see him way too much, and the little problem she’d thought herself long over, the one where she dove into infatuation, had come back with a vengeance. It didn’t help one bit that Sawyer was so worthy of infatuation. He was like a walking advertisement for tall, dark and dangerous, the kind of dangerous where you just knew he’d save you at the slightest hint of danger. To make it even worse, he was nice and funny. With a sigh, she climbed into her little hatchback and headed into town.
Chapter 7
Violet wheeled her grocery cart around the end of an aisle, coming to an abrupt stop when she bumped into someone. “Oh! I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, her hand flying to her chest when she glanced up and saw she’d just collided with Ginger Nash, an acquaintance on the way to being a friend.
Ginger turned and rested her elbow on the handle of her grocery cart. She was grinning, which at least told Violet she hadn’t bumped her too hard.
“Are you okay?” Violet asked with an apologetic smile.
Ginger nodded, her shiny dark hair swinging around her shoulders as she did. “Oh yeah. I’ve got plenty of padding on these hips,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
Ginger was by no means overweight, but she also wasn’t stick thin, which Violet appreciated, seeing as she was on the curvy side herself. “Padding’s a good thing. Keeps me warm,” Violet replied. “Anyway, sorry I almost ran you over.”
She left unsaid that she’d decided to run a few errands and was distracted while she was trying to avoid calling Sawyer to cancel. She was tempted, oh so tempted, to just text him, but that rubbed her the wrong way. She faced things head on, and she would call him. Meanwhile, she had plenty of things to do to keep her busy, including a run through the grocery store. Her refrigerator was close to bare. She loved to cook, but with only herself to cook for, it was easy to rely on quick dinners.