by C. M. Steele
First things first, I need to finish this novel. My last book hit all the lists and now people are foaming at the mouth for the next one. I grab a cup of coffee at the local coffee shop down the street from the Knight Publishing House in the hopes that I’ll run into Nick. I never have. I’ve seen his brother Ian several times, but he doesn’t hold a candle to his brother. I wash away all thoughts of the Knights and get to work writing. I’ve got my morning cut out for me since there’s a guy staring right at me while I type away. He can’t possibly know who I am because, although I’m a successful author, the publishing house has done a tremendous job of hiding my identity.
I try to ignore him and type away. Luckily my screen is large, keeping him hidden from my gaze as I work. After about ten minutes of hard writing, I take a brief break and enjoy a sip of my coffee. It’s still piping hot, which is good because when I’m on a roll, I forget it’s there. Cold coffee is good, when it’s meant to be that way. Coffee that goes cold is gross.
I see a big shadow appear across my arm. I look up, betting it’s the guy who has been eyeing me, but I jump back in my seat when I see it’s Nick.
“Lillian, what brings you in here?” I like that he calls me by my legal name and never by my pen name, but it’s probably better if he didn’t; then maybe I won’t be so goo-goo gaga over him.
“I’m working. You?”
“Same here. The coffee pot in my office took a shit this morning, so I came here for a cup. Do you come here often?” he asks, taking the seat across from me.
“Yes, I don’t live far,” I stammer out, feeling butterflies dancing in my stomach. He looks immaculate as usual. He always has a suit on, but today he looks different. His arms stretch his suit jacket, revealing his rippling muscles through the material. I wonder if he works out when he’s not in the office. His dark brown hair is a complete contrast to my long blonde hair. He’s the exact opposite of me in almost every way. The only thing we have in common is that we are both fit. I’ve always had a naturally slender build, even though I’m pretty sure I can down more than someone twice my size in one sitting. It’s strange, but I get ravenous sometimes.
“I know.”
Of course he knows; it’s in my paperwork. I don’t know what to say, and then I see a saddened expression on his face. It reminds me that he’s been dealing with a lot more since his father’s health scare.
“How’s your father coming along?”
“He’s actually anxiously waiting for your next manuscript. He’s recovering, but my mom wants him to take it easy,” he says, running his finger over his coffee lid.
I’m almost hypnotized by it, envisioning him using his fingers to trace the outline of my nipples, or circling around my clit. I’m completely turned on, but I keep it neutral and nod. “I can understand that for sure. They are such a perfect couple.”
“That they are.” Again, that sad look comes across his face just briefly before he wipes it away. Almost losing his father must have been detrimental. I lost my family a long time ago when my mother died. I never knew my father. He hit it and quit it. I’m the product of a one-night stand. It doesn’t bother me as much anymore, but I do want a family one day. Unfortunately, the only one I want to have a family with doesn’t even know I exist in the female sense. “Am I bothering you, Lilly?” he asks. He’s never called me that. I like it.
I shake away the sad reality and look up at the sexy, tall, hazel-eyed, scruffy Mr. Knight, then respond, “No, you’re not. I’m just writing. I don’t know what it is, but I get a lot of writing done here.”
“Do you always come here?” he asks, looking around the coffee shop.
“About three days a week.” It’s the truth, although it’s because I’m obsessed with him and have ridiculous visions of running into him while he confesses his undying love for me.
“Wow, that’s a lot. You know, if you’re ever looking for somewhere comfortable to write, there are offices to use in our building.”
“Always looking to keep the client happy,” I mutter with a taste of snark on my words.
“Well, that’s a big part of the industry.” He shrugs.
“Thank you, Mr. Knight, but I have a very nice office at home. I think it’s the idea that people are watching me type away without knowing what I’m writing that gets the words out quicker.”
“But aren’t there so many interruptions?”
“Only a few men eyeing me, but that’s neither here or there.” For a second I see a look of anger cross those pretty eyes of his. “Most people see me typing and know it’s best to leave me be.”
“That makes sense. I’m sorry that I’ve bothered the genius at work. My dad would be thoroughly pissed if I did that.”
Yes, that’s another reason this is just a friendly business visit. We could never be together. It’s not that his whole family doesn’t love me. It’s just that I’m one of their clients, and they don’t cross that line. Hell, I would love to cross it, dance over it, jump over it if it means that I can taste those lips that say my name with so much passion.
“It’s okay. I’m about to head out anyway. Sometimes the creepers in here work my nerves and mess with my flow.”
“There’s someone in here bothering you? Besides me?” he asks, staring at me with a look of pure jealousy. Or at least that’s what I’ve pictured him looking like in my dreams.
“Yes, but I think he left,” I say, looking over to the table that’s now empty.
“Okay. Do you need a ride home?” he asks. I want to say yes more than anything, but he’s known me for three years and has kept our relationship strictly business. I can’t blame him. He’s got a family company to be proud of.
“No, I can walk,” I answer.
“Okay, then I’ll walk you there.” His offer ticks me off. It’s not because it’s offensive or even unwanted, but it’s not like he’s going to kiss me goodbye or tell me he wants to see me again. It’s probably more along the lines that I’m one of their best-selling authors and my safety means more books and revenue.
“Mr. Knight, aren’t you supposed to be busy?” I question, twisting my lips into a pursed look.
He pauses, stands up, and despondently says, “I suppose I am. Well, it was good seeing you, Lillian. I look forward to your next manuscript.” He tips his head and takes his drink, leaving me there feeling like a dodo head. I can’t believe that I acted like a total bitch to a man I want to have babies with when all he was doing was being polite to me.
I pack up and go because now it’s pointless. My mood has soured. My building isn’t more than two blocks away. I get to my apartment and set my bag down on the kitchen counter. Damn, how did I ruin it again? I crawl into bed and forget about everything else except what I’m going to do about my next contract. I’m meeting with Ian and the senior Nicholas Knight next week to discuss my decision. A part of me is glad that Nicholas won’t be there. I hope that I don’t run into him during that time. In fact, the coffee shop is now out of the question.
Looking at my schedule, I think a mini-vacation is in order. “Where to go?” I mutter to myself, pulling out my phone to scroll possible trip locations. I haven’t done a book tour. I pretty much stay home all the time. I need time for me.
After the meeting, I think I’ll go somewhere.
Chapter Three
Nick
I am out of my damn mind. I can’t take not seeing her anymore. It’s beyond intolerable. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s hard to even breathe now that I’ve decided to confront my feelings for her. I need to see if she has any interest in me. Although, from the way she’s been avoiding me like the plague, I take it she’s realized my interest and doesn’t want it. For someone who goes to the coffee shop three times a week, she hasn’t been there in ten whole days. Now, without a doubt, I know she’s avoiding me. Lillian’s meeting with my brother and father today. I’m not in that meeting because it’s not my area and I’m swamped with my own work. Or so I tell myself. I know that i
f I go into that meeting, I’ll probably scare her with how bad I want her. I can’t do that.
I open my office door to go to my next meeting with the editing team and crash right into her. She stumbles back, and I catch her before she falls. Her eyes meet mine as our bodies are flush with each other. My cock stiffens instantly, and there’s no doubt she notices. As soon as I’m sure she’s steady, I let her go, then I watch as her eyes look up at me from head to toe. I’m in jeans and a polo, and I realize she’s never seen me dressed down. And my cock is too fucking huge to hide in jeans. Damn, I try to calm myself down before I nut in my pants. The way she’s staring at me only makes it harder. My girl wants me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to knock you down.”
“I’m the one who got in the way. I’ve never seen you in jeans before,” she lets slip before clamping her mouth shut.
We don’t have to dress up unless we’re meeting with a client. Otherwise, it’s pretty laid back. “I usually do, but didn’t feel like it this morning,” I tell her, trying to deflect from the escalating tension. “By the way, good morning,” I add, realizing that I didn’t greet her at all.
A blush steals over her face, knowing that I caught her eyeing my body a little more than what’s considered polite. She can look all she wants; I don’t care one iota. She’s interested, and that’s all I need to know. “I’m sorry. Hello, Mr. Knight.”
I’ve got to go before I pull her back into my arms and kiss her like I want to do. The thought of taking her back to my office and doing her on my desk holds a lot of merit. “What time’s your meeting?” I ask, making small talk and hoping that my hard-on will start to go down. I should know better; in her presence, I’m constantly rock solid.
“It’s in about five minutes,” she says, avoiding any eye contact with me. It reminds me of the fact that she’s been avoiding me.
“So is mine. Have a good day, Lillian.” She looks like she’s about to say something, but she closes her mouth. It’s then that my editorial assistant walks up to me. She gives me a huge smile that’s laden with enthusiasm. I think she’s a sweet girl, but I’ve no interest in her. She approaches with her iPad in hand, ready to go into our meeting.
“Good morning, McKayla,” I say while still having my eyes on Lillian. I catch the way Lillian gives a disgusted look. It’s crystal clear to me that my woman is jealous. Without a doubt, I’m certain that I’m going in the right direction, only now I have to find a way around this whole client thing.
“Good morning, Nicky. The rest of the staff are waiting for you.” She’s so damn bubbly, I just ignore it and give Lillian a lopsided smile and a shrug before walking off to my meeting.
I take a seat and do my best to pay attention, except all my thoughts are on Lillian and what she’s talking to my brother about. Jealousy tears through me as I think about him getting her smiles and hearing her lovely voice.
This has to be the longest three hours of my life. We have these meetings once a month to go over things we’re reading, group changes to a story, or possible suggestions. By the time we’re done, she’s gone from their meeting and my brother and father are in back to back meetings, having lunch with two more potential clients.
Chapter Four
Lillian
I enter the conference room and shake both gentlemen’s hands. “Thank you for coming in today, Ms. Strong.” That’s my pen name. They always refer to me that way.
“It’s a pleasure. The last two quarters have been truly excellent for me. I know that we have a lot to discuss, so I’ll let you two get this show on the road.” All the while I’m saying that, I’m thinking about running into Nick. I nearly ripped that girl’s blonde hair out of her head. The way she fawned all over Nicholas made me so angry. I’ve never been jealous over anything or anyone in my entire life. It’s freaking destroying me to see him and not get to spend more time getting to know him. I want him more than I can say. My next character to die will be that bubbly, flirty McKayla. I hate myself for the pettiness, but what’s a girl to do when the only man she’s ever loved is out of reach?
“Ms. Strong,” Ian calls out. I shake my head and blush because I am mortified that I haven’t heard a word they said.
“Sorry,” I mutter, looking back at Nick’s brother. He’s handsome like Nick, and so is their father. But I get nothing at all. When I look at them, they might as well not be here. “I was lost in my story in my head,” I bumble out. I don’t know if they believe me, but then Ian touches my hand and tries to ease my humiliation.
“Don’t apologize. We have met many authors who lose their attention span. We were talking about another two-book deal. Same numbers as before, but a few book tours that we pay for.” I tap my nails on the table, contemplating their offer. “What kind of book tour are we talking about?”
“We would do a two-week, six-city tour. I’m sure they would want more, but you know it’s not worth it unless it’s a well-populated reading community.”
“That’s not bad. Give me a couple minutes to think about it.”
I leave their office a few hours later after making my decision. Now it’s time to prepare for my vacation. I leave in two days for a nice trip to sunny Miami. I’ve never been there before.
I need time to clear my head and move on. My heart is so mixed in its feelings for Nicholas and the fear that I’m never going to get over them. I pack up the things I need, but it’s not going to be enough. I don’t have beach clothes or anything like that.
~~~~
The next morning while out shopping for my beachwear I run into Mrs. Knight, of all people. “Hello, Lillian, dear. How are you?” She’s a lovely woman, but she’s the mother of the man that I want to give me babies and a happily ever after.
“I’m doing well,” I remark, although my voice doesn’t come off well.
“Shopping for bikinis?” she questions suspiciously.
“Yes, I’m planning on taking a vacation.”
“Oh really? Does my husband know?” she asks, holding and staring at a pretty green swimsuit. I’m looking for a few one pieces. I’ve never owned a bikini before.
“I didn’t think I had to inform anyone,” I say, grabbing the white version of the same swimsuit.
She spins around and looks at me in contrition. She pats my hand like only a mother does. “No, you don’t, my dear. I was curious, is all.”
“I’ve never been on vacation and since I don’t have to report to you all for two months, I figured it didn’t matter.”
“Oh, well, my husband thinks of you as a daughter. Never mind all that; I think this blue one will match your fair tone.” She hands me a sexy bikini with a little mini skirt that doesn’t hide much. It’s extremely revealing.
“Yes, it is, but you’re beautiful,” I remark and blanch, knowing I said that aloud.
“And you’re still young, before babies add stretch marks and the like.” She must notice me turning red, as she adds, “Relax—don’t be embarrassed. You are stunning. Are you going alone?”
“Yes. I kind of do almost everything alone.”
“That’s a shame. I don’t think that’s a good idea. There’s a lot of human trafficking going on, and sweetheart, someone like you who’s traveling alone becomes a big risk.”
“I know. I’ll be careful. I just need to get away.” I sigh, directing my attention to another rack. I’ve said too much. She’s a brilliant woman as well. She’s one of the first editors to work for Knight Publishing.
“I understand that. Anything you’re trying to get away from?” she asks, ducking her head to my face, trying to get my attention.
“No,” I lie, hoping that she believes me.
“My dear, you are running from a guy, aren’t you?” Damn it, the woman is like a spy. I need to use her in a book. The interrogator. I shake my head because I am, but I can’t tell her that I’m in love with her son. It would be so awkward.
“I’m not running away from a guy. I’m running away from my feelings. Loving someone who
doesn’t even know you really exist is hard to deal with. It’s time that I move on with my life, instead of hoping that he sees me as more.” She pulls me into her arms, hugging me like the mother I’ve always wanted. I don’t cry because I’m already uncomfortable.
“Thank you, Mrs. Knight. I promise that I’ll get over him.”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s got his reasons. Some guys have a hard time making the moves. I remember when my husband hired me to be his first editor. The company wasn’t big and he needed me, so he refused to make a move until I decided that two years of waiting was enough. I found someone else to take me on a date. He sent me flowers the next day to the office, and Nicholas smashed them against the wall before taking me into his office…and, well, that conversation is best left in our memories.” Her face turns red from the memory, but I’m not sure it’s from embarrassment or fondness. I want to feel that way thirty years from now.
Her phone goes off, and she picks it up on the third ring. “Where are you, woman? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Either he’s loud or she’s accidentally put the phone on speaker.
“I’m at the store. I’ll be home in a little while,” she answers. “I’ve just had a pleasant memory that I think needs revisiting.”
“Then drop the items and come home. I’ll take you to the store tomorrow, woman,” he growls.
“Caveman,” she coos.
“Thank you. You’ve been wonderful. Have a great day,” I say with a wink. She leaves with a wide smile on her face. And that’s what I want years down the road.
Something made me feel like there’s hope for me and Nicholas. A girl can dream.
Chapter Five
Nick
“Where is she, bro?” I ask, walking into my brother’s place scoping out the room for the mystery woman he’s been pining for.