by Cyr, Cory
I dragged my last bag up the stairs.
“Hey, you. You finally made it,” he said, meeting me halfway. “Let me get that. Come and see our new home.”
I followed him as he carried my bags through the open door. It looked really different. The floors that were once dark wood were now rich with thick, deep Egyptian-blue carpet. Carpeting the floors had been my idea. Wood flooring equaled splinters. I’d take rug burns over them any day. We decided to leave the kitchen alone. Latch McKay, besides being a famous video game designer, had loved to cook—or at least he tried. His kitchen could rival any master chef’s. Large and airy with every appliance ever created for cooking. We’d redone the bottom two bedrooms as well as the bathroom. The master bedroom suite upstairs, we’d given the decorators instructions on combining both our tastes. Not too masculine or feminine. They’d melded together coordinating colors of deep blue, which blended with the carpet.
Most of my things had already been moved in the day before. So now all I had to do was unpack my final belongings.
I ducked into the legendary shower. I’d snuck a peek when we’d gone through with the designers and decided to have the contractors tear out the Jacuzzi. We had a bath downstairs, but truthfully, nothing compared to the one I’d left behind. Now I wanted to check out its competition. Fuck me. Without the tub, the room was monstrous. It had been a large area to begin with, and Haven hadn’t been exaggerating. The shower was a freaking party room. Party of three? I snorted when I realized it would be Keenan, his cock, and me. Twelve fucking showerheads. Who needs twelve? Evidently the Scots.
This room was a pale blue with the same blue carpet as downstairs. The contractors had removed the wall behind the torn-out Jacuzzi and replaced it with beveled cut glass. Behind it were exotic plants and rock. It had the feel and look of being outdoors, but it was completely private. As with all the windows in the house, Latch had the shower designed the same. The frosted glass let you see out but not in. The fixtures were all slate gray. It made quite a stunning contrast against the Egyptian blue color.
I went back to unpacking.
We had a walk-in closet that was a house by itself. I’d almost had an orgasm when I saw it. Keenan just laughed. I rolled my eyes because clearly, he had more of a wardrobe than I did. We purchased a dual king bed with matching oak furniture. This was without a doubt our home. We furnished and decorated it together. We argued over what CDs and DVDs we should bring. What food should go in the pantry. How the toilet paper should go on the roll. We were so domesticated it scared the hell out of me. I let him organize the living room, and I got the kitchen. Keenan looked happy and content. At least for now.
Once the movie began filming, he was gone for weeks at a time. It was going to take almost a year to shoot in several locations. He came home on the weekends when he could, and occasionally, he dragged me to the set. It had been enjoyable the first three times. But once I found out about the two nude scenes he was doing with a costar twenty years younger than myself, I was livid.
“You’re being ridiculous. I’m only acting. It’s in the script. Jesus, I can’t tell them no. It’s in the fucking contract.”
“You never mentioned being naked,” I said as I stared at the floor. I hated behaving like a jealous girlfriend. Two words I thought I’d never use to describe myself.
He let out a big exhale. “Listen, I’m not going to be nude. It’s R-rated. Only my ass.”
“There’s a shower scene. You plan to wear pants?”
“Good God, are you listening to yourself? They have shit to cover us. I did this crap all the time for book covers. It will only look like I’m naked and fucking. You’re acting as if I’m doing porn. It’s not real, babe.”
“How are they going to cover—that?” I asked as my eyes narrowed on his cock.
“Baby, you can trust me. I love you. Come to the shoot that day. They’re filming it here because we need to do a few green screen shots.”
I pouted. “No, I don’t want to. You go have fun with your child costar.”
His arms circled my waist and pulled me into him. “Baby, my cock only wants you, can’t you tell?”
I nudged my body against his erection as he kissed the shell of my ear. “You never have to doubt me. My cock doesn’t recognize anyone else. I don’t see anyone but you. I find it incredible that no other man ever loved you. Is this why you are feeling insecure? You’re expecting the worst because you have no other experience to go on?”
“No, what makes it bubble to the surface is your child costar that’s twenty years younger than me. How can I possibly compete with her?”
Keenan sighed as frustration filled his voice. “There is no competition. You have no reason to ever doubt me or the way I feel about you. I’ve never once been with anyone but you since the night of the gala—no one.”
There. He finally said it. He didn’t realize it, or maybe he did, but he just called me out. He never asked and I’d never said, but it was evident he’d known. I had been with other men. Not many, just enough to make him wonder and worry how many there had been. He stayed because he loved me.
I went into the kitchen and began dinner. There was no more room for talking, and if I stayed locked with him, we’d end up having sex. I’d never turned it down before, but I was exhausted. We had no problems in the bedroom, just everywhere else.
As the film got closer to wrapping, the paparazzi grew bolder. They followed me to work. Lurked in the bushes. Now that we were living together, I’d become fair game. The relationship we tried so hard to keep private was no longer. The tabloids came after me. My age, my weight, and speculations about my past. I was surprised they hadn’t dug up past blowjob recipients. Poor Keenan, that’s all he needed right now.
The faux naked stills of Keenan and his young costar exploded across the internet. I knew the damn studio had leaked them to the press to promote the film. The following weeks, every single supermarket rag and Hollywood gossip show theorized about us splitting up. The breaking news was Keenan wanted a younger woman and he was indeed having an affair with his costar. They’d showed a photograph of him in a hug with the woman child in a restaurant—the wrap party. I was bombarded with fabricated pictures and stories every day. I couldn’t wait to get away.
After the film was finally complete, we decided to escape for a while. Blood Vestige wasn’t releasing for five months. We chose to take advantage of that by leaving the Hollywood lifestyle behind. We spent several months vacationing on some remote islands in Bali. We also went to England so he could finally introduce me to his mother and close friends. Even though his movie would premiere in London during the next few weeks, he knew he’d be too busy to spend quality time with his mom. I was happy finally meeting her and some of his childhood acquaintances. At least there would be a few familiar faces at the opening besides Latch and Haven.
When we finally returned to Los Angeles, we only had a few days until the film’s launch. The premiere was back in London. Haven and Latch were flying in and meeting us, so we’d get to spend a few days with them. Keenan had talked Latch into doing all the pre-publicity events for the movie while we were absent. They needed to catch up on what occurred in the time we were gone. To be honest, if it hadn’t been for the fact I needed my BFF, I would have bowed out. I hated the way the press interrogated us, but it came packaged with Keenan.
The movie was a huge success for both him and Latch. The franchise could go on for years as long as Latch kept designing updated versions of the game. Opening night was a barrage of flashbulbs and endless questions. The fans loved Keenan. Me—not so much. It wasn’t personal. They just wanted him to be single and obtainable. Even Haven and Latch felt pity for us. Our lives were now public domain and spread across every news outlet. It was only a matter of time before our most intimate details were exposed.
“Don’t worry about this, Weezie. Welcome to my world. Remember when Latch and I were first together, those people would never let me alone. Every jerk-o
ff with a camera was stalking me. All of this will pass. Pretty soon, you’ll be yesterday’s news,” Haven said as she sipped her tea.
We had snuck away from the boys as well as photographers to have some much-needed girl talk in the hotel cafe. “As long as Keenan is famous, we’ll always be open season. They’ll never leave us alone.”
Haven put down her cup. “Then give him a reason to give it up.”
I stared at her in shock, not believing the bombshell she just dropped. “Give it up? Are you fucking serious? It’s his first film and he loves doing it. Ask him to give it up? You’re insane.”
She touched my hand as she spoke. “Weezie, he would give it up for you in a heartbeat. Latch walked away from everything.”
“Bullshit. He just fucking moved his crap to another country.”
“No, that’s not true. He left most of his old life behind. Yeah, he took the business, but everything else he gave up—for Logan and me. Keenan loves you. I mean down to his soul loves you. He would do it for you.”
“Oh my God, I would walk away before I ever asked him to give up his dream.”
“You’re an idiot, Weezie. I swear you are smart, but there are times you’re so damn dense. Being a movie star isn’t what he wants. He wants you. He covets what Latch and I have. Before you spout all kinds of bullshit, I’ve eavesdropped. I’ve heard many conversations between them on Skype. Being an actor, that’s just a way to pass time until he wears you down.”
I pushed my coffee cup away and combed my hair back with my fingers. “He’s never going to wear me down. I don’t want your life. No offense.” I stopped abruptly because I wondered if she knew Keenan was sterile. “I’m too old for family drama. I don’t want it. Never have. You know me. Do I look like fucking Susie Homemaker?”
“So your plan is to live with him permanently?”
“Why not? That piece of fucking paper would ruin everything we have.”
“I think he’ll want more eventually.”
This was my worst fear coming to fruition. It had always been concealed where I didn’t have to think about it and could ignore it. Pretend he would never bring it up. But now, after almost five years, it was his mindset, and at some point, it was going to surface.
Haven knew too much. She appeared excessively giddy. If I were smart, I’d pry it out of her, but I didn’t want to know. I feigned ignorance. He would never understand I was doing him a favor. This was for his own good. I would ruin everything for him. I couldn’t possibly give him what he wanted. Not for the rest of his life. I’d wreck his career. I was unable to love him.
Haven pulled out a tube of lipstick and began applying it. “Anyway, enough of this topic. You’re coming for Latch’s big 3-0, right?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I assume Keenan has already RSVP’d for both of us?”
She nodded with a smile. “Yup, he did. I hope you can take the time off. Everyone’s coming. It should be fun, although he’s been kind of pissy about turning thirty… poor baby.” She chuckled. “So I guess we should get back upstairs and finish packing. Your flight leaves in a few hours, right?”
“Three fifteen I think,” I replied as I put money on the table. “And I can get the time off. I’m only working one or two days a week now. Keenan has too many appearances, and since we’ve been traveling, I’ve had to put my business on the back burner. But on the plus side, I’m seeing a lot of the world.”
“And with one of the hottest men in the universe too.”
I snorted. “Yes, there is that benefit too.”
We both went upstairs. Latch had already called ahead to get his jet refueled and ready. They didn’t like being away from Logan that long. We said our good-byes, and I assured her I would see her soon.
“So did you and Haven have a nice talk?”
I perused Keenan with my eyes. God, he really was mouthwatering. “Yeah, it was educational,” I responded as I continued to pack.
“Limo will be here in an hour. We’ll have a thirty-minute drive before we get to the airport,” he murmured into my ear.
My sex went on high alert as I pressed back into his hard shaft. He was as insatiable as I was. I’d never given a puff chore in a limo, so today would be lucky for both of us.
15
The anticipation was killing me. Every morning I woke up with a sense of dread. I felt like I was waiting for the anvil to fall. I’d always known this day was coming. The moment when what we had wasn’t enough and he would want more. Now that I knew he was actually considering us being eternal partners, as in together forever, I had to set a plan in motion.
Keenan did the next few appearances by himself. He wanted me to go with him. We argued about it every time. If I kept leaving town after our five-month hiatus, my business would suffer—irreparable damage. I realized I didn’t need the income, but I had my reputation to think of. And frankly, I appreciated the alone time.
I no longer liked the way I felt. I needed to prepare myself to be single. It was my fault. I should have never taken our affair this far. But he always made a compelling argument. As much as I cared for him and enjoyed our sexual chemistry, there would come a day when it would be me who would want more… when he wouldn’t be enough. I was never meant to be shackled to one man. It had never been what I wanted. But Keenan had changed that. Not in the beginning. His conditions were palatable. Even then his total acceptance of what I wanted and who I was kept me from what felt natural. He made it feel wrong to be with someone else. And even though the changes plagued me continually, I’d still said yes when he wanted us to live together.
I’d always thought of myself as strong and resilient. I had felt fulfilled in the past. I’d been accomplished in business as well as my personal life. I never yearned for anything more. I was content with my life. Until I met him. Hell. It was only supposed to be one night of sexual debauchery, but somehow he kept coming back. Somehow, Keenan Stone had managed to occupy my heart. I’d never love him, but I cared for him more than I ever thought possible.
In a month, we’d be flying to Scotland. It was Latch’s birthday, and Haven had planned a big celebration. Latch’s mother, Fiona, would also be attending. Because she now had a grandson, she’d changed. She was no longer the intolerable cruel bitch from the gala. I’d heard she and Logan were inseparable.
Keenan had been gone for two weeks this time, doing his press tour. They’d already begun prepping for the next movie. He seemed exhausted at the idea. Haven’s words haunted me—that being a movie star wasn’t his real dream. He’d never made me question that. He hadn’t confided in me. And I wouldn’t be the one to squash his vision.
I dressed accordingly, since he’d made reservations for us. In the years we had been together, he’d never taken me to Ilessa, a very private and secluded restaurant set on a high cliff above the ocean. Haven had spoken about it. That had been were Latch had taken her for their first date. I remembered it well and the little black dress of mine she’d borrowed to wear. I found an equally sexy deep-violet dress in my closet and paired it with silver heels. I rarely wore my hair up, but tonight I clipped it into a messy bun.
Keenan showed up an hour later.
“You look beautiful,” he said as he tossed his jacket on the sofa. “Let me shower and change. Reservation is at eight. The car will be here at seven thirty.”
My eyes flashed with surprise “You hired a car?”
“I thought we might want to drink some wine or champagne. The establishment is known for their rare vintages,” he answered as he took the stairs two at a time.
He made me chuckle. I padded behind him as he disrobed at every other step. I picked up his jacket, tie, and then his shirt. I stopped at the bedroom where he’d dropped his pants and taken off his briefs. If I’d stayed there, a very naked Keenan would have entertained me. I could hear him singing as he showered. He sounded happy.
He came downstairs thirty minutes later combing his damp hair. He had on a charcoal suit with a pale-gray shirt and a
dark-blue tie. The car arrived just as he was fastening his cufflinks. We appeared awful fancy for a dinner out.
Haven hadn’t exaggerated. The restaurant was stunning. I could hardly catch my breath as I witnessed the view from our balcony. Keenan had secured a private area for us to dine. The scent of rich foods and ocean salt permeated the air. Soft music played in the background as a waiter took our drink order. He ordered a Napa Valley bottle of wine for us. I knew my wines, and that particular bottle was close to five hundred dollars.
What the hell was going on? It wasn’t my birthday; we skipped those. I hoped this was about the second movie.
The waiter returned and poured us both a glass of wine, then left. Keenan traced his finger around the rim. Then he stood, taking the glass with him. He walked over to edge of the balcony where he could look down and watch the ocean crash onto the shore. I grabbed my wine and strolled over to join him.
“What is it, Kee? You seem anxious.” I touched his arm as he held his glass.
He seemed lost in thought as he stared out into the sea. “I guess I’m preoccupied and nervous. I never want to lose you, but I’m at my wit’s end.”
Wait. What? He’s scaring me. Maybe he’d been sensing my restlessness. Maybe he was walking away. “What’s going on? Tell me, because now you’re freaking me out.”
His rich blue eyes turned toward me, soulful and gentle but filled with purpose. “I need more. I want more, Weezie. I’m tired. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m sick of this pseudo relationship.”
The hand holding my wine glass began to shake. I felt that empty hole in my stomach begin to stir as it opened up to swallow me. “I… I don’t understand,” I stammered. I took my eyes away from his because I knew the day of reckoning was here. This actually isn’t what I’d expected. Maybe I should have been glad he had finally given up and recognized he and I couldn’t continue.