“You okay now?” He met her eyes.
“I’m fine. I was just a little nervous…it’s still new here, and the storm was wild, so…”
“I get it.”
He’d run into her apartment to rescue her. Admittedly it hadn’t been on fire, but his intent had been the same. She shivered, her nipples tightening.
“Cold?”
“Um, a little.”
Tyler set his mug down on her coffee table and reached for the throw blanket draped over the back of the couch. He shook it out and shifted closer to her to drape it around her. His hands lingered on her shoulders, and she looked up at him, his face so close. She breathed in that intoxicating scent again, studying his strong jaw and long eyelashes and…his mouth…his perfectly shaped lips…
Her breath caught in her throat and heat built between them as his lips parted and his fingers tightened on her shoulders. “Arden…”
She dragged her bottom lip between her teeth, her heart racing. White-hot desire tore through her, an undeniable, overwhelming need to feel his mouth on hers, to feel his body against hers, his arms around her. To just…give into the lust heating her insides.
Her eyelids lowered. His mouth moved closer. Only a breath apart, he paused. The silence of the room vibrated around them.
She closed her eyes and tipped her chin up so their mouths met.
A low groan rumbled in his chest and his mouth opened against hers in a long, clinging kiss. And another kiss. Slow liquid heat pooled inside her, her breasts growing heavy. Heat radiated from his bare skin and she lifted a hand to lay it over one firm pectoral. The muscle jumped at her touch and with another groan, he tilted his head, opened his mouth wider and deepened the kiss.
Oh holy hell. Rational thought fled as heat flooded her body. She made a noise of need in her throat as he devoured her mouth with long, deep kisses. His tongue slid into her mouth and met hers in a dizzying, panty-melting caress.
Tyler knew how to kiss. Wow, did he know how to kiss. He tasted amazing, faintly of the chamomile and sexy male. His stubble grazed her jaw, so male and a little rough, and she loved it.
Lightning flashed and thunder crashed, and she was almost oblivious to it, dazed and breathless, the storm inside her more powerful than the one outside. Her head whirled, her body pulsed and ached.
“Fuck.” He leaned his forehead against hers, and it thrilled her that he was panting and trembling just like she was. “Christ, Arden, your mouth…” He brushed another kiss over her lips, and she parted instinctively for him. “Never imagined you would taste so goddamn good.”
She moaned. “You taste good too. Kiss me again.”
This time, he hauled her right up against him, crushing her aching breasts to his chest, and it felt amazing. The blanket dropped away and his hands came up to cup her face, holding it while his mouth took hers. She kissed him back, and they both slid a little lower on the couch, one of her knees lifting up over his legs. She wanted to be closer still.
His hands slid into her hair, now holding the back of her head, his thumbs caressing her jawline, and she melted even more at the tenderness of his touch. She let her hands roam, exploring hard muscles and hot skin, smooth in some places, hair-roughened in others.
“Oh God.” She let out a soft sigh as he used his thumbs to tip her head back and stroked his tongue along her throat. His lips latched onto her skin and sucked so gently. She was on fire everywhere, her nipples tingling, her inner muscles squeezing.
He kissed her mouth again and one of his hands slid over her shoulder, brushed one taut nipple straining at the thin cotton of her nightie, then swept along her waist and hip and around to her bottom. The short nightie had ridden up and, with only cheeky panties beneath it, he found bare skin and squeezed.
Her breath left her all at once, making her head swim. Tyler’s big hand on her butt cheek felt amazing, a sensual wicked promise of more. He palmed her flesh, pulling her closer still until she was pressed against his muscular thigh, just where she needed it. A moan climbed up her throat as throbbing sensation built there, spreading through her body.
“You have the sweetest ass.”
“Th-thank you.”
His mouth teased over the side of her neck, her jaw, her cheek. He kissed each eyelid, the tip of her nose then her mouth again, his tongue licking inside in a deep, wet kiss that had every nerve ending in her body burning.
His hands moved over her, one fisting in her hair, pulling her head back, his other caressing her throat and jaw. She opened her eyes and met his, almost gasping at the desire blazing there. His fingertips brushed over her cheek and she swallowed at the intensity of the moment, their gazes locked, his hand on her vulnerable throat. Heat shimmered through her.
“You’re beautiful, Arden.” His voice was a rasp. “So goddamn beautiful.”
Her heart swelled in her chest and she could only stare, mesmerized.
“I want to do such bad, dirty things to you. You, the perfect prom queen.”
“I thought we already established that I’m not perfect.”
“So you’re saying you’re okay with that?”
She whimpered.
“I’ll worship you.” He rubbed his beard stubble against her jaw, nipped at her ear lobe. “I’ll pleasure this gorgeous body. I’ll make you feel so good, baby. Let me.”
Her eyes fell closed at the onslaught of sensations his words brought on. “This isn’t really happening.”
“You feel it. You want it.” He licked over her bottom lip. “If I slid my hand inside those little panties, what will I find?”
She squeezed her inner thighs, knowing without a doubt what he would find.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, hands smoothing down her back and cupping her ass again. “Because I’m hard as a fucking fire hydrant.”
She made a choked noise of amusement and lust. “Hopefully not as big.”
His lips twitched as he squeezed her cheeks. “Close.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder, filled with an undeniable need to laugh despite the heat that flowed through her veins. “Now you’re scaring me.”
With a hoarse laugh, he lifted her head, bringing her closer still, his hand pulling her thigh higher over his lap, and she felt his erection behind the thin fabric of his boxers. Hard, throbbing heat tantalized her, and she rubbed her knee against it. A growl escaped his mouth as he captured hers in another searing kiss.
They strained together, desperate, hands all over each other, mouths sliding, tongues gliding. She’d never wanted so much in her life. And she’d never felt so wanted—so consumed, so craved. It was as fierce and beautiful as the storm outside, sensation spiraling through her, light, heat, sparks, and crashing pleasure. It twisted higher inside her as she rubbed herself against him.
He cupped her breast through her nightie, and pleasure jolted through her. She pushed into his palm in yearning supplication. He found her nipple with thumb and fingertips and pinched. She felt that deep inside her, and the coiling pleasure shot up. “Oh God,” she gasped, her entire body clenching, sparks shooting from her core to her toes and fingertips. She shuddered against him.
“Christ, Arden.” He held her as she pulsed and pulsed, helpless noises falling from her lips.
“Oh my God.” She dropped her head to his chest, quivering.
He rubbed her back in circles as she caught her breath. Her face burning, she kept her eyes squeezed closed. She couldn’t believe that had just happened.
“I’m sorry,” she said weakly a moment later.
“For what? For having an orgasm?”
“Yes.”
He lifted her face with the same motions he had earlier—hands cupping her face, thumbs brushing her lips. “An orgasm is nothing to apologize for. I wanted you to feel good. I wanted you to have that. I might have done it differently, mind you…I want to use my fingers on you. Or my tongue, so I can taste you and feel you come on my face.”
“Oh God.” She wanted to slid
e into a pool of lust and misery on the floor at his feet.
“What?” He slid his thumb inside her mouth briefly, his eyes fastened on hers. Her belly did a warm flip. “What’s wrong with telling you what I want?”
“We aren’t…we can’t…this is crazy.”
“Why?” His eyebrows pulled together. “Just tell me why.”
“Because…” She stopped. It all sounded so feeble. Tyler was in no way the boy he’d been when she’d last known him. He was a man, there was no doubt about that—a man who knew how to kiss, a man who knew how to touch her in ways that lit her on fire and melted her inside...a man who wanted her.
She swallowed. “You’re Jamie’s friend.”
“This has nothing to do with Jamie.”
She couldn’t argue with that.
His eyebrows notched together even more. “Are you still in love with your husband?”
She sucked in a breath, staring at him, her eyes going wide at his blunt question. She considered how to answer that. If she told him she was, he would end this. She didn’t know him well, but somehow she knew he was honorable that way—he would never force her to do something she wasn’t ready for.
But that would be a lie. And a man like Tyler deserved honesty.
“No,” she finally said.
His frown eased into a look of puzzlement. Then he lifted her away from him and sat back.
She pushed her hair off her face, not taking her eyes off his. “What?”
“You’re not ready.”
“I am,” she said. “I’m so ready.” She squeezed her thighs together.
Again his lips twitched. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh.” She blinked. Then she sighed. “It’s not that I’m not ready. It’s that…I don’t want to get into a relationship again. I’m not good at that.”
Tyler’s forehead pulled into a perplexed crease. For a moment he didn’t speak. Then he said, “Why would you say that? I mean, I know your husband died, but Jamie said he was an asshole.”
She swallowed. “It’s a long, ugly story.” She peered at him through her eyelashes. “He committed suicide.”
Tyler’s eyes flew open. “Jesus. No.”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes. This was the last thing she wanted to talk about when all she really wanted to do was jump back into Tyler’s lap and do the wild thing.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t know that.”
“Jamie didn’t tell you?”
“No. He hinted that things weren’t great for you, even apart from your husband dying, but he didn’t share the details.”
She bent her head, letting her hair fall over her face. “It’s a long, painful, humiliating story.”
“You don’t have to talk about it. But if you want to, I’m here.”
This wasn’t a story she wanted to tell anyone, but for some reason the words started pouring out of her. “Michael played football for the Cardinals.”
“Yeah.”
“We lived big, enjoying his money. His fame. We hung out with other players and their wives and girlfriends, and other celebrities in Phoenix. We went to expensive restaurants and clubs. We bought a big, beautiful house with a pool. We had parties and entertained a lot. I sort of wanted to work, but Michael made a lot of money, so I didn’t have to. I did some volunteer work that made me feel a little useful.”
Tyler picked up the throw from the floor and once more wrapped it around her, pulling her back into his arms.
She snuggled in, head still bent. “Michael got injured a few years into his career. He couldn’t play football anymore. He was lost at first, but then he found a job selling real estate. He enjoyed it, and he made some money, but…we kept living the same lifestyle we always had. Ugh. This is the embarrassing part. I had no idea we didn’t have as much money as we used to. He acted like he was making tons of sales, and money wasn’t an issue. I had no idea he was going into debt so we could keep the house and the cars and the trips. I didn’t know he hadn’t filed our taxes for years.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.” She pulled in a breath and let it out slowly, resting her cheek on Tyler’s strong chest. “I found out when they were apparently going to arrest him for tax evasion. He…that was when he took his own life.”
“Oh Christ, Arden.” His arms squeezed her tighter. “Jesus Christ.
She gave a tiny nod. “That was bad enough, of course, losing my husband like that. I didn’t find him, if you’re wondering that. He drove himself out into the desert and did it. Put a gun in his mouth.” Her heart quivered at the thought. She’d spent months imagining what he’d been going through to take that final, fatal step. Images of Michael’s last hours haunted her dreams and kept her awake at night, while guilt and grief, anger and self-hatred twisted in her belly.
“The police came and told me. Then I found out even more about how bad things were financially. The money we owed. There was no way to keep the house, even if I got a job. I had to sell it to pay off the debts. It took a year to get everything settled, with lawyers involved. Then of course they took a fuck-ton of money in legal fees. With what little was left, I packed up and moved here.”
“I don’t even know what to say.” He rubbed his jaw over her hair. “I’m so sorry, Arden.”
“Thank you. It was a rough time.” That was a major understatement, but she wasn’t going for pity here. “There was more than that, of course. Being a widow was bad. The money issues were horrible. I discovered what a spoiled princess I really was.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry…when I called you that I had no idea…”
“I know.” She sighed. “I know. It just hit close to home. I had no idea what to do, how to deal with things. Michael handled all our finances, paid all the bills. All I did was go shopping with his credit card. I was such a fool.”
“He kept things from you. He lied to you. You’re not a fool.”
“I should have known. We should have been partners in our marriage. I should have pushed harder for that. I should have contributed something.”
He made a low, rough sound in his throat. “You can spout out shoulda woulda couldas forever and a day. They don’t change anything, and it’s just beating yourself up about things you can’t change. And it doesn’t let him off the hook. He was the one who didn’t make you a partner. He didn’t tell you the truth about what was going on.”
“I had my head in the sand, and don’t try to tell me I didn’t because it’s true. There were a lot of reasons I liked our life. But deep down inside…I wasn’t really happy. Michael was…different than the guy I fell in love with in college.”
“Oh fuck no, don’t tell me he cheated on you too.”
“I don’t think so. But he changed. We used to have fun together. When he first got signed and we moved to Phoenix, we were both just laughing all the time at the crazy money they paid him and how we ended up in that kind of life. But he got really into that world. After he couldn’t play anymore, it seemed like the money and the lifestyle were more important to him than I was. He worked long hours. Actually it turned out he was busy gambling, desperately trying to make back some money, I presume. I found out about that afterward too, from some friends who let it slip.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “Too bad they didn’t care enough to tell me before he committed suicide, when maybe there’d been a chance of getting him some help. But that was another thing I discovered…our friends weren’t really ‘friends.’ They all disappeared pretty quick.”
He made a growling sound.
“Michael and I had grown apart. He loved the good life…the fancy restaurants and parties, hanging out with rich, famous people, driving expensive cars, living in a beautiful house. He wanted me to look the part too, so he never minded that I shopped for clothes and shoes, and decorated the house, and went for lunches, manicures and pedicures. I went shopping with friends and belonged to a gym where all the other players’ wives went. It all felt silly and frivolous sometimes, b
ut then…” She closed her eyes. “That was how I filled the emptiness in my life. It was all I had. Michael and I didn’t talk, and that’s partly my fault too. It was awful when he died, of course. There are no words…I was in shock. Numb. In denial. But…” She lifted her head and met Tyler’s eyes. “I didn’t love him anymore.”
Chapter Fourteen
Tyler’s heart banged against his ribs. Dismay tightened his gut at the terrible story Arden had just told him. And yet…
I didn’t love him.
It was fucking bizarre how happy he was to hear that.
He wasn’t competing with a dead guy. That was something. If she was still in love with her husband, he would have to back the fuck off, and he was so goddamn glad he didn’t have to do that.
Whatever else was making her hesitate, much as he fucking hated what she’d gone through—he could deal with it.
He was also struck by how strong she was to have dealt with all that. Sure, he teased her about being a princess, and she admitted she’d been a little spoiled and sheltered. But being lied to and betrayed by her husband, who then took his own life rather than deal with the consequences of what he’d done, had to have been devastating for her. Then she’d been the one left to clean up the mess that hadn’t been her making. The mess that had left her homeless and pretty much broke.
It sure as hell didn’t seem fair. But she wasn’t crying and whining about it. She hadn’t run home to her parents and asked them to bail her out. She hadn’t asked her brother, who had a fuck-ton of money and could easily have helped. Other than she’d taken his offer to live in this apartment that was a fucking mess. And now she was working as a goddamn waitress without a complaint, happy to have a job and go to work every day.
This all gave him a weird ache in his chest, along with a fierce desire to take care of her and make things better for her.
“I’m sorry, Arden. So damn sorry. You’ve been through hell.” He stroked her hair.
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