When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I wrestled myself free from her and bolted up the stairs rushing into my parents’ room. I snatched a porcelain figurine from the dresser and stuffed it into my shirt.
“Colt! Come back here!” I heard my mother storming after me. I crawled beneath the bed and hid. I saw her black and pink Nikes as she looked through the room.
“Colt, are you hiding? Now is not the time for games!”
A slight giggle escaped my lips. I clasped my hand over my mouth and held my breath.
“Colt!”
Just then, I heard the front door slam.
“Vivian! Are you ready?”
I recognized my aunt Nita’s voice. My sister was talking to her saying something I couldn’t understand.
Suddenly, I felt a sharp tug at my ankles yanking me out from beneath the bed.
“Colton! How dare you hide when you know I’m looking for you? This isn’t a game, honey. We have to leave now before your father gets home.”
Stubbornly, I held onto the bed post as she tried to pull me from the room.
“NO! I don’t want to go with you. Leave me here with Dad.” I cried. Tears were beginning to form in the corners of my eyes despite my best efforts to be a man and not cry.
Falling to her knees in front of me, she took my hands into hers. I loved the way her hands felt so soft and warm in my own. Her perfume was sweet, and I inhaled without thinking. I didn’t want to be mad at her, but I didn’t want to leave my home either.
The only home I’d ever known.
I looked over at my father’s closet which remained untouched. All his expensive suits hung there. Glancing at the dresser, I saw one of his many Rolex watches ticking away the minutes.
I swallowed hard yanking my hands from hers. I clutched the small bulge of the figurine in my shirt.
“Baby, I want you to come with me. I know you can’t possibly understand why we have to leave, but we do. Daddy and I just aren’t getting along anymore.” Her eyes reddened as tears flowed freely down her face.
“But why?” I whispered. I loved our home. It was huge and sprawling covered in stone resembling a castle, or so I thought at the time. My mother said it was a ‘Norman Tudor’ house.
But most of all, I didn’t want to leave my Dad.
“Daddy isn’t as nice as he should be to me. I want to leave.”
“Will I ever see him again?” The tears began to drip down my cheeks.
She nodded.
“Of course.”
“Does Dad know we’re leaving?”
She bit her lip and looked away.
“Kind of. It’s very complicated, baby.”
The door flew open and my aunt Nita stood there holding my sister’s hand.
“Shouldn’t we be going now, Vivian? Hunter will be home anytime, won’t he?”
My mother glanced at her watch and nodded.
“Yes, he will. Come on, kids, we need to go. Colt, I promise you will see your dad again soon.”
I stood hugging the figurine to my chest beneath my shirt. Aunt Nita touched my shoulder gently.
“Colt, please come with us. I know you love your dad, but it’s best if you come with us now. I have the newest Nintendo game at my house all hooked up and ready for you.”
My eyes widened. That game just came out in stores yesterday. It was impossible to get as my friend, Josh’s mom had been trying all day. He’d be so jealous.
Reluctantly, I followed them. I cast one more glance behind me at the Rolex on the dresser. I remembered that watch was very special to him as it had belonged to his father and grandfather. He’d told me one day it would belong to me.
My mother switched the light off and hurried down the stairs. She stopped at the door and undid the black collar she always wore. She dropped it at the door as she ushered us away from the house.
As we drove away in my aunt’s Mercedes, I stared out the window looking back at our house getting further and further away. My sister seemed not to mind in the least playing with her dolls on the seat next to me.
“What’s that, Colt?” My sister asked poking at the bulge in my shirt.
Pulling it out, I gazed down at porcelain figurine of an eagle poised in flight. I stroked it lovingly.
“It’s an eagle.”
“Looks like a bird to me,” she said reaching out to touch it. I yanked it away.
“An eagle is a bird, dummy. A special bird,” I murmured.
Smiling, I recalled what my dad had said when he brought the figurine home.
“What is that, Dad?”
He slapped my hands away as I tried to grab it.
“It was your grandfather’s. It’s very special.”
Peering at it, I didn’t see anything at all special. It just looked like a statue of a bird.
“What’s so special about it, Dad?” I’d asked taking a finger and lightly touching the brown wings.
“It’s an eagle.”
“Isn’t an eagle just a bird?” I wondered aloud.
“Most birds fly together. They don’t usually venture off on their own, but eagles…they soar high above the clouds. They never surrender to any prey regardless of size or strength.” My dad’s blue eyes shone with pride as he sat the figurine on his dresser. I admired the way the brown wings spread so wide and the sharpness of the bird’s eyes.
“It was Grandfather’s?” I asked sitting on the edge of the bed.
He nodded.
“And one day it will be yours just like this watch. Everything I have is to be yours, Colt. I will take you to Seven and show you things when you are older.”
“Seven?”
He waved his hand.
“It’s a very special place I will take you to when you’re older. It’s like a secret club that only members can see.”
I nodded eagerly.
“Like the secret clubhouse Josh and I built in the woods? Johnny Sizemore wanted to join, but we said no.”
My father laughed and rubbed my head. I stared at the curious tattoo on his hand. It looked like two half circles.
“What’s that?”
“That is another thing I will show you when you’re old enough. It’s a mark that all male members of Seven have.”
“All male? Do you let girls into your club?” I was horrified at the thought of girls decorating the place all kinds of dumb pink things.
He laughed.
“Oh yes, we do. It’s where I met your mother.”
My eyes widened as I thought about that.
“And yes, son, that’s a story for another time.”
I let the water run off my back as I looked down at my own left hand seeing the same tattoo my father had had.
Dark sexuality steeped in tradition was the legacy he’d given me.
And the one I’d proudly carry on.
8
Leda
It had been a few days from the Initiate Night, and I was just now hearing from Ray. I opened the email from him and stared at the lengthy questionnaire and sighed. I grabbed some coffee and began pouring over the questions, answering them as thoroughly as I could.
With a sense of accomplishment, I sat back and re-read my answers to ensure I included everything that I had wanted. I was ready to hit send when another email came over from Ray.
Dear Leda,
Due to reasons beyond my control, I'm unfortunately not going to be able to continue with your initiation.
Ray
What the hell?
He didn't even want me. Something obviously was very wrong with me. Apparently, I don't even give off a vibe that I'd be a good submissive. Or even a half ways decent one. Not even trainable.
I moped to the kitchen where Chastity and Wade were. I told them that Ray tossed me to the curb. It was probably for the best because I knew that Ray probably couldn't give me what I needed, or wanted. I'm quickly learning that my needs and wants are really fucked up.
“Did he give a reason?” Wade asked.
/>
I shrugged and shook my head. “It was literally one line. He said that due to reasons beyond his control,” I said and looked up at Wade and Chastity.
The sympathetic look in Chastity's eyes made my eyes start to water. I stood up; wasn't going to sit here and cry in front of them. Chastity looked panicked all of a sudden, and she stood, pulling me into her arms. I broke down and leaned my head on her shoulder even though I felt stiff as a board. I wiggled out of the uncomfortable hug.
“What's wrong with me, Chas? Something is obviously wrong with me,” I sobbed.
“Honey, nothing is wrong with you.”
She tried to calm me down. Then I blurted out something that I hadn't intended on saying, but it came out.
“Could Ray tell?” I asked, hoping she'd know what I was referring to.
“Could he tell, what, Leeds?”
“That I was damaged goods—”
There was no sense in hiding that phrase. Wade obviously knew. I had heard my parents use that phrase many times when they had no I clue I was listening. A tear ran down Chastity's face, and she only shook her head.
“Leeds, come here,” Wade pulled me into a hug.
I about lost it in Wade’s embrace. I couldn't stand the sympathy hugs. I pulled out of his embrace and wiped my eyes. Despite their words, I was pretty sure Ray detected I was fucked up and “damaged.” He clearly wanted to steer clear from a girl like me.
That's fine. I had made my mind up that I was going to one of the local dungeons tonight.
I politely excused myself, and as I started to walk away, more parenting came from Chastity.
“Wait! Where are you going?” she asked.
“I'm going to go to my room and organize some stuff.” I turned to walk away and knew what the two of them were thinking. “Don't worry, I won't burn myself.”
I was fuming when I got to my room and felt sorry for my outburst. A few hours later they invited me to dinner with them, but I declined, citing that I was going to go see a movie tonight.
Once they were out of the house, I changed into my black skirt, stockings and a black tank top. I drove to one of the local clubs and asked the girl at the check-in desk which Service Tops were available tonight.
“Master Kenneth is available now, sweetheart. Will he work?”
I had been topped by Master Kenneth before. He wasn't what I'd call heavy handed, but right now I just needed to feel something. I nodded feverishly at the girl, and she buzzed me back.
I found Master Kenneth sitting in the section where the Service Tops would wait. He stood as he saw me walk towards him.
“Hi, Leda. It's been a while. I was thinking about you the other day, thinking you were probably due soon.”
I nodded, fighting my tears.
“Yes, Sir. I need it.”
He considered me for a few moments, nodded and motioned for me to follow him. We entered a darkened cell type of room, and he walked me over to a table of implements, allowing me to select. I pointed to a braided flogger, and he smiled.
“Alright. You know the drill, any injuries that I need to know about?”
“No, Sir.”
“Are we looking for penetration tonight or just the beating?”
I thought for a moment. I mostly wanted the beating.
“Um, just the beating, please, Sir.”
“Are you sure?”
I eyed the display table of all of his toys.
“If no penetration by me, perhaps you'd like a toy. Maybe this butt plug?”
“Yes, Sir. That would be fine, thank you.”
“What safe word would you like to use tonight, Leda?”
“Metal, Sir.”
Master Kenneth told me to remove my clothes and stand approximately two feet from the wall. I concentrated on a spot on the wall as I waited for him. I silently urged him to hurry. I need this badly.
“Hands against the wall, shoulder width apart. Part your legs some…good. Use your safe word if you need it, Leda.”
“Yes, Sir,” I quickly responded as he lubed my ass and push the thick toy into me.
I felt my clit begin to swell as the plug slid into place. My teeth held my bottom lip while I waited for the first blow. Almost at the same instant that I heard the falls slice through the air, I felt it.
Fuck, yes!
This is what I had need desperately and thoroughly enjoyed the beating as it continued. I could feel my body begin to relax as I neared that special place where the pain was replaced with bliss. The flogging went on and on as I teetered on edge.
The falls from the flogger no longer punished me; they caressed my skin. As I found my happy place, I came hard and moaned out.
“Beautiful, Leda,” Kenneth said in the background as my breathing returned to normal.
No sooner that the orgasmic wave faded, guilt and disgust in myself presented itself.
Master Kenneth helped me dress after he applied some aloe lotion to my back. Even though he was a Service Top, he still practiced after care. The two of us sat in the main room while I finished a bottle of water.
I thanked him for his time, and when I got to the privacy of my car, I broke down. I sobbed uncontrollably for a few minutes before I turned the car on and headed home.
Waking up from a chilling dream, I ran my hand over my tank top and found it drenched in sweat. The night light that I brought with me was plugged in and cast a warm glow throughout the room. Supposedly, causing a sense of security.
It wasn't working.
Reluctantly, I kept the main light in the room off. I didn't want Chastity or Wade to see the glow of light from my room and come in to check on me. I wasn't a teenager anymore and didn't need people checking up on me.
“Leda, relax. When you move around it only makes it hurt more. Stop crying and be still.”
“I’m trying,” I cried out of frustration.
He slapped my face, grabbed my chin, then lowered his face to mine. The heavy scent of, Old Spice, cigarettes and alcohol surrounded me as he shook my chin.
“Now be still and afterward we’ll pick out the wood for your dollhouse.”
I tried to shut off everything going on around me and concentrated on my new dollhouse. I had three dolls, and each needed their own home.
My dream world of my dolls came to a crashing halt when he began pinching my sides with his huge, dry, filthy fingers. The pinching was followed by his quiet laughter as I cried.
As I tried shaking my grandfather from my head, I spotted the box cutter sitting next to some boxes that I still needed to unpack. It had been years since I cut. The scalding showers were one thing, cutting was different though. I had stopped for a while, but the urge and opportunity were right in front of me. I closed my eyes and tried thinking of anything else, but the urge for that release right now was too strong to ignore.
Picking up the box cutter, I went to the bathroom, grabbed a washcloth and put it in the sink to dampen the sound of running water. If Chastity and Wade heard prolonged water running, they'd come check to see if everything was okay; translation, they would be checking to see if I was burning myself.
While the water began to warm, I shut and locked the bathroom door then pulled off my pajama pants. The water was hot now. I pushed the plastic part of the box cutter up until it clicked twice, exposing the blade. I pumped out the liquid soap directly onto the blade and very carefully, my thumb and index finger massaged the soap around the blade. Convinced that the blade was clean, I held it under the hot water. The bite of the water caused me to inhale a sharp breath. It excited me, and I could feel my pulse racing; I was close to the high that I wanted…that I needed.
With the clean box cutter in my hand, I cautiously dried it off. I started to get another dry washcloth but shook my head at my near slip of selecting a towel. Blood stains and stained towels lead to questions. Toilet paper or tissues are flushable and hide the evidence; never to be seen again. I grabbed the box of tissues and sat down on the cold tile of the bath
room floor.
While I cleaned the blade, I decided a cut on the inside of my thigh would do the trick. Now that I was sitting on the floor, I surveyed the area. Before I pressed the blade to my flesh, my eyes skated over all of the marks that weren't my own doing. Many were from belts or switches from my grandfather. I ran my finger over some of the scars, remembering.
I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand and squinted to concentrate on the task at hand. I selected my target; an old scar that I've carried since first grade. Pressing the blade to the end of the scar, I bit my lower lip and pushed.
“Mmph,” escaped my mouth.
Blood quickly came rushing to the surface as my pulse accelerated. I cautiously slid the box cutter down the length of the existing three-inch scar, reopening the memory of its’ initial creation.
The rush overcame me as I watched the blood run down the inside of my leg. I placed a tissue over the cut and smiled as the blood spread.
And all too quickly, it was over. The few moments of exhilarating freedom had passed, and now I needed to face the rest of the night alone, knowing that I had completely relapsed.
9
Colt
I once read that it is the choosing of the prey that is the challenge, not the chase. Watching every movement the prey makes, weighing its’ weaknesses and strengths, then devising a plan to catch them. Considering all the possible outcomes was of utmost importance.
So, I considered Leda and what her responses might be to my advances. My goal had always been to find the most beautiful thing in the room and break it.
She was the thing, the prey.
And I was the hunter.
Leda said she’d wanted dark.
And I was definitely dark.
She said she wanted extreme. She had no idea how extreme I could be.
Humming to myself, I quickly typed out an email to her.
Leda,
Good afternoon. I hope this day finds you well. I’d like to meet at Seven tomorrow night to get to know each other better. No expectations just a friendly chat. Let me know.
Descent (Inferno Book 1) Page 6