“Do you think I’m too broken to be fixed?” The question evoked more fear than I wanted to admit.
“No. I don’t think you’re too broken.”
She put her arm around me and rested her cheek on top of my head. I wanted to hate how close I felt to her. I couldn’t. She was one of the few people who got me. “What about Tenley?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Hayden, only time will tell, I guess.”
“I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
“I know. Maybe now you don’t have to be.”
* * *
Chris didn’t talk to me for the rest of the morning. Not that I expected anything different, considering the tension between us lately. I was sure he thought I’d betrayed him in some way by breaking the rule, even if the situations were vastly different. I would have felt bad if I wasn’t so preoccupied with Tenley. It might have been easier if sex with her was about getting off and nothing else. But it wasn’t.
At three thirty I finished with my client. I checked my phone, but Tenley hadn’t called. When I’d tried to reach her earlier to see how things were going, I’d gotten her voice mail. I hadn’t bothered with a message.
I arrived at Northwestern shortly before four and parked in a lot as close to her building as I could get, which turned out to be pretty damn far away. The curious glances as I crossed campus suggested tattoos and piercings were a rarity at top-ranked colleges.
The sociology building, a massive renovated house, wasn’t difficult to find. It reminded me in some ways of a much larger version of the home I grew up in. I opened the door and stepped into the foyer. To the right was a library of sorts, to the left was a lounge reminiscent of the type found in a movie, with stiff-looking douches sitting in high-back, leather chairs. The conversations closest to me lulled when I walked into the room, though the only ink showing was on my forearms. The majority of the gawkers went back to their discussions without a second glance.
A girl in a too-short skirt and lipstick the color of blood sashayed over. “You look lost.”
“I’m meeting someone.” I gave her a polite smile and scanned the room for Tenley.
An arched doorway separated the lounge from a large, open space beyond. There were several tables spaced at even intervals, all with groups of people seated around them, books and papers strewn all over the place. It was a nightmare of clutter.
“You’d make an interesting research project,” she said, her fingers trailing over my exposed ink.
I looked down at her hand. Her nails were painted silver, with tiny diamonds glued to the tips. They looked like bedazzled talons.
“Oh? How’s that?”
“Your tattoos, and all those piercings . . .” She reached up, like she was going to touch my face.
I stepped away, recognizing her inability to read social cues. Just because I was different didn’t mean I wanted some painted-up stranger putting her hands on me. I spotted Tenley and her group. Her hair gave her away. She’d taken it down, and it hung in a curtain over the back of the chair.
“I’ve found who I’m looking for.” I walked away from the attention seeker and headed for Tenley.
Four people sat at the round table with Tenley, their focus on her. It wasn’t a surprise to discover every other person in her group was male. For some women beautiful and intelligent was viewed as a threat, at least from what I observed. Social ostracism was often a result of such petty jealousy.
I held in a snort as I got closer. The guys, most dressed in a variety of polo shirts and khakis, could have been part of a GAP advertisement. They seemed harmless, except for one; he looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. I came up behind Tenley and dropped a kiss on the side of her neck.
She startled, and her face went a telling shade of red after my lips made contact. “Hayden!” Her head turned in my direction. I didn’t move away, my mouth inches from hers. I waited to see what she would do. Her teeth pressed into her bottom lip as her eyes met mine, the sexual tension between us alive and well. “I thought I was supposed to call,” she said in a sultry whisper.
“Sorry.” I wasn’t. “I’m a little early. I tried to reach you before I left, but you must have been busy.” I gestured to her group.
All four of them looked from Tenley, to me, and back again. I almost expected a sign to drop from the ceiling that read DISAPPOINTED.
She lowered her eyes and rooted around in her bag, checking for her phone. My number came up as a missed call. “Sorry. We were just wrapping up.”
I could sense her nervousness. She’d had plenty of time to replay last night’s events in her head, and I hoped she didn’t regret them. That would throw a real wrench into my plans.
“Do you want me to wait for you outside?”
“What? Oh, no. You don’t need to do that. Guys, this is my . . . um . . . friend, Hayden.” I wasn’t too excited about the whole friend business introduction. “Hayden, this is Brad, Patrick, Eugene, and Ian.”
I pulled up a chair beside Tenley and dropped into it with a smile plastered on my face. It wasn’t even close to friendly, because they all seemed to like that Tenley had called me her friend when clearly I was more than that. I slipped my hand under her hair and rested my arm on the back of her chair. I was rewarded with four sets of eyes drilling holes into my head.
“Do you work at Elbo?” I asked the overly-gelled blond guy. I thought he might be Ian, but I didn’t particularly care about his name. If I was right, I would put bets on him being the one who lived close enough to Tenley to drive her home. I had no desire to allow him the opportunity to be alone with her in an enclosed space for an extended period of time, thank you very much.
Recognition finally set in. He smacked the table, several pieces of paper fluttering to the floor. “I knew I’d seen you somewhere before. You’re a hard guy to miss.”
“Yeah. I don’t exactly blend in.”
One of the other guys coughed and his friends shifted in their seats, focused intently on the open textbooks before them. Tenley broke the awkward silence by getting back down to business. She was sexy, but even more so when she was assertive. I understood why those guys wanted to work with her; not only was she gorgeous, she was intelligent and efficient while still coming across as sweet. When they finished I helped Tenley pack up her things.
“How was the meeting with your advisor?” I asked when we were alone.
“It was fine. Better than last week.”
“So he wasn’t a douche this time?” I asked, hoping to find out once and for all if her advisor was male or female.
“I still have work to do, but he gave me lots of feedback.”
She evaded one question but at least I had confirmation, although not the kind I wanted. Next time I dropped her off at school I would check this guy out. She was too sketchy about offering up information for me to be comfortable.
“When’s your next meeting?” I asked.
“In two weeks. Do you mind if we make a stop before we head back?”
“Whatever you want, kitten.” We reached my car and I unlocked the doors, opening hers to help her in. I couldn’t tell if the change of topic was inadvertent or purposeful. I left it alone, intent on staying away from unpleasant discussions for now. I’d already filled my quota this morning with Lisa.
“Where to?” I asked after I took my place behind the wheel.
Tenley directed me to a line of shops west of campus. I parked on the street, and we went into a little café similar to the one adjoining Serendipity. She grabbed my arm, bouncing excitedly as she pulled me over to a clear glass case. It was full of cupcakes. Not just chocolate and vanilla cupcakes, either, but every kind imaginable. There were regular-sized cupcakes and bite-sized ones. Some were white with white icing, chocolate with white, white with chocolate, chocolate with chocolate. Others had mango or strawberry icing, some were topped with shredded coconut, and my personal favorite, the ones with Oreo cookies sticking out of them. It was cupcake heaven.
“Pick whatever you want, it’s my treat,” she said, her smile genuine.
I wanted to usher every person out of the store. Then I wanted to rid Tenley of her clothes so I could eat the small ones off her body in a trail down to the sweet spot between her thighs. Maybe Lisa had a point about things not always being black-and-white.
I couldn’t decide, so Tenley bought two of each variety and a separate box filled with mini cupcakes. She also ordered coffees and sandwiches, which I had no intention of eating. The cupcakes were more than sufficient.
On the way back to Chicago, Tenley fed me the bite-sized cakes. When she got icing on her finger, she held it up to my mouth so I could suck it off. When I took a break from eating cupcakes, Tenley picked at one. I spent the rest of the drive dividing my attention between the road and watching Tenley lick the icing off. It was sickeningly hot and hinted at what she might look like giving me a blow job. Which I shouldn’t have been thinking about but couldn’t stop once the image was in my head. My lust for cupcakes had been taken to a whole new level.
I cleared my throat. “What are you doing later tonight?”
She looked at me as her tongue swirled around the top of the cake, removing another thin layer of icing. She stopped torturing me long enough to answer. “Working on my group project, I guess.” Tenley daintily licked icing off her fingers.
“I thought maybe we could hang out or something after I get off work.”
“I was under the impression what happened last night shouldn’t happen again.”
“Technically it shouldn’t once we start the tattoo,” I said. The more I went over my talk with Lisa, the more I questioned the validity of my previous veto last night, or rather this morning. I pulled into the underground parking garage and slid into my spot.
“I’m confused. Has the rule changed again?” There she went, looking all shy and unsuspecting.
“Should it?”
“You tell me, Hayden.”
“Just so you know, ‘hanging out’ isn’t a euphemism.”
“Right. Thanks for clearing that up.” Her face turned a bright shade of pink.
I found it ironic that she could taunt me one minute but become so easily embarrassed by a simple statement of fact. “Does this mean you want to get me naked again?” I asked.
“Do you even need to ask?”
“I’m just trying to figure out what you want, Tenley.”
When she didn’t answer right away, I unbuckled my seat belt and turned to face her. She pressed her back against the door, seeking space, holding the mostly eaten box of cupcakes in her lap like it gave her some kind of protection. I would gladly sacrifice what remained in the box if it meant I could put my hands—or my mouth—on her again.
“I want whatever you want,” she whispered.
“I want you to stop being so evasive and answer the question.”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?” I pried the box from her hands and moved it to the backseat.
“Yes, I think you should change the rule again.” Her smile told me she thought she’d won.
I shook my head and leaned in closer, crowding her. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”
She ran her hands up my arms. “Maybe just a little.”
“So you do want me naked again?”
“Maybe.”
There wasn’t enough room for anything substantial to happen in my car, but I could at least kiss her. Remind her what it would be like later, when we were alone. The second my lips touched hers, I groaned. She tasted like icing. Tenley palmed the back of my neck, pulling me closer.
And then my fucking phone rang.
16
TENLEY
“Should you answer that?” I asked.
“No.”
His tongue slid against mine. I savored the kiss, aware it would end sooner than I liked. The steel ball incited memories of the previous night, the events of which had played out in my head all day. Our first time together had been intense, the second infinitely more so. Unsure whether he would let it happen again before we started the tattoo, I’d abandoned my inhibitions. I’d been demanding and aggressive. A small part of me felt like I should be embarrassed, but it had been liberating. Hayden made me feel sexy and desirable. It wasn’t something I was accustomed to, and I wanted to experience that with him again.
I was afraid to go home to my apartment. Even when I wasn’t in his presence, Hayden dominated my thoughts. I worried that in those hours between now and Hayden coming over, the guilt clawing at the edge of my consciousness would seep in and take over.
Despite the confined quarters of the car, his hands found their way under my shirt and glided over bare skin. His phone stopped ringing and I skimmed over his belt buckle, palming him through his pants. He was blissfully hard. I fumbled with the zipper on his jeans, heedless of the public venue. Unlike last night, he was wearing boxer briefs, a serious impediment. I searched blindly for the convenience flap, slipping a finger underneath to find hot, smooth skin. He made a deep, throaty sound, and his arm tightened around my waist, drawing me closer.
Hayden’s phone rang again.
“Fuck!” he cursed. Bracing one hand on the seat, he rooted around in his pocket until he found the offending device. He silenced it, but before he could put it back, it rang again. He punched a button viciously. “What?”
There was a brief hesitation on Hayden’s part during which I heard Lisa’s voice on the line before he said, “I’m with Tenley.” His mouth hovered dangerously close to mine. I resisted the urge to suck on his bottom lip. After another pause he passed the phone to me. “Lisa wants to talk to you.”
“Hello?” I said as Hayden dipped down and kissed my neck.
“Hi, Tenley. Can you tell Hayden his client is waiting?”
He nosed my shirt out of the way and bit my collarbone. It made it hard to concentrate on forming words. “Why can’t you tell him?”
“Because if I tell him, he’ll hang up on me. If you tell him, he’ll get his ass here and do his job.”
“I’m so sorry, he said he would rearrange his appointments.” I put my hand on his chest and pushed, giving him the evil eye. He sighed and backed off.
“No need to apologize, it’s not your fault.”
“He picked me up from a meeting and we had an early dinner. We’re just parking.” I felt the need to justify his lateness even if the excuse was only somewhat true.
“I know. I saw the car blow by five minutes ago.” Lisa sounded like she was stifling a laugh.
“We’ll be right up,” I promised.
Hayden was busy zipping his pants. I held out the phone, and he slipped it in his pocket. Judging from his grimace, I assumed it hurt when it brushed up against that thick head.
“What did she say?” he asked, making no effort at discretion as he rearranged himself.
I tried not to stare. “Your client is waiting for you.”
“I figured as much. I’m coming by after work.”
“To hang out?”
“Among other things.”
* * *
Hayden came over just after ten thirty, freshly showered and clean-shaven. I waited for him to pick up where we left off in his car, but he kept things infuriatingly chaste. He had a lot of questions, though.
“You didn’t say much about your meeting with your advisor.” He pulled my legs into his lap, running his hands down my shins and back up to my knees. I slouched down, helping them go higher on the next pass.
“There’s not much to say. I have plenty of time to work on my thesis before the next meeting.” I left out the part where Professor Calder requested the meeting take place after hours, off campus. Hayden wouldn’t be very happy, and I couldn’t blame him. The idea of meeting Professor Calder outside of office hours made me uncomfortable, and I’d said as much. He hadn’t been pleased, but he’d managed to find time to squeeze me in during regular hours. He’d made it quite clear how much it inconvenienced hi
m to work around my schedule. I’d come into this program thinking it would be something positive to focus on. So far it hadn’t been what I expected. I left the meeting more anxious than I arrived.
“You want to talk about what happened this morning?”
“Not really.” I toyed with the open collar of his button-down. He was wearing a band shirt underneath.
“You were pretty upset.” He picked up a lock of my hair, twisting it around his fingers as he waited expectantly. He wasn’t going to let it go.
“I overreacted. The last time I met with him, he told me if I didn’t get my research together, I could lose my place in the program. I worked hard to get here. I don’t want all that effort to go to waste because I didn’t have the foresight to set my alarm.”
“It’s my fault you were tired,” he said.
“Oh? I think I’m the one who started it the first time, so if I have anyone to blame, it’s myself.”
I thought the aftermath of our night together would be different. But here we were, cozied up on my couch. Based on what he said in the car, Hayden planned to continue to utilize the loophole, at least until he started the tattoo. He could set boundaries if it made him feel better. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t push them, though. In the past few weeks I’d learned that with Hayden, everything was subject to change.
“So you admit to seducing me?” he said.
“I’ll admit no such thing. I only provided the loophole, and that was after all your flirting.”
In one swift motion he pulled me into his lap. Straddled over his legs, I was a few inches back from where friction would be possible. I tried to shift closer, but he ran his hand up the outside of my thigh to my waist and held me in place.
“Will you tell me about these?” He ran a gentle palm from my right shoulder to my waist, across the scars on my back.
I hesitated. “It’s a burn.” It was part of the truth.
“How did it happen?”
Clipped Wings Page 17