by Starla Kaye
"Can't you at least stay until after New Year's Day?" Aimee begged, her voice pleading. "You shouldn't be alone for Christmas. They kids want you here."
"Using your kids is a low blow, Aimee," Kandee chastised. "And I'm used to being alone for Christmas." She hated it, but her parents usually traveled for the holidays anymore so she didn't come back to Cantonville. Until this year. And look how it had turned out.
She shifted her shoulder bag. "I'm a chemist. Eric was right; I was being irrational even thinking about doing something else. It's what I'm good at." When Aimee started to protest, she shook her head. "No, I'm right about this. But maybe you could open a bakery on your own. You'd be good at it."
Chad set her luggage next to her and pulled her into a brief hug, grumbling, "I'm going to kick his ass for hurting you."
"Sean didn't hurt me." Well, he had, but it was her fault. She stepped back and sighed. "But he's hurting right now and he needs your support. He is being torn in different directions, pressured. And he doubts himself on so many levels. He needs you."
Her heart pinched again. She wanted to help him, but she'd blown her chance to be part of his life. She'd pushed him away one too many times. Now it was time to go back to Houston, lick her wounds, and get on with her life. Maybe she would check into one of those online dating services. Now that she'd experienced her first time--and more--at making love, she liked it. Maybe she would try to meet another man who... No! She didn't want to even think about another man right now.
"Thanks for everything, guys." She settled her carry-on on top of the big bag and grabbed its handle. "I'd better get going." She looked at the lightly falling snow and said quietly, "I'm going to miss this. I really wanted to see a white Christmas for a change."
Then she made her way into the terminal, fighting back tears that threatened to fall.
* * *
Sean stood next to Danielle as they watched the skaters on the ice rink at Rockefeller Plaza. The air was brisk, snow and ice blanketed the sidewalks, but everyone around them barely noticed. Laughter and excited conversations swirled around him. He should feel good about being here again. New York City had been his favorite place to be for the holidays for a number of years now. There was always an endless stream of parties to attend, still were. His teammates who came here for the holidays had already made him promise to come to several get-togethers. The team's owners had insisted on meeting with him on the twenty-third. His sports agent had a series of meetings lined up for him right after the first of the year. And the ESPN boys were wining and dining him as well.
He should be happy about the fact that he hadn't been tossed aside because he couldn't play football anymore. He hadn't really believed anyone would still be interested in him. But having seen them face-to-face now, he realized that he'd been ego-bruised and in denial. You should be happy. So why the hell wasn't he?
Glancing around, he appreciated the beauty of the sight of the brightly lit plaza and the atmosphere of so many cheerful people around him. He felt the heat of Danielle snuggled against him, her arm looped with his. One tiny encouragement and he knew she would move in with him. She wanted him. She'd made that real clear nearly every minute of the last two days since he'd returned to New York.
The problem was he didn't want her, at least not for more than a friend and his publicity agent. And, truthfully, he wasn't sure he even needed her for that anymore. This wasn't where he wanted to be, not where he wanted to live. He missed the open spaces of Colorado and felt hemmed in by the towering buildings of the City. He missed his ranch and working hard beside his ranch hands.
More importantly he missed Kandee O'Connor. She'd come to town with a crazy idea, and then manipulated him until she got her way. He'd spanked her for it, too. And he'd planned to spank her for that crazy light-hanging stunt, but he hadn't. He'd insisted she stay with him one more day than she'd thought necessary because he'd worried she would go do something else foolish. She had, too. She'd headed back to Houston before he'd had another chance to talk to her. If he hadn't gotten so irritated with that constant denial she made about marriage, about not wanting a husband, about being able to live alone perfectly fine, she might not have left. Why hadn't he realized before it was too late that she used the statement as a defensive mechanism? He was pretty sure she didn't think any man would really want her for a lover or for a wife because of how poorly she'd been treated all those years ago. And he'd been part of that, which made him sick to even think about it. She was waiting for a man to stand up to her nonsense and to break down the invisible wall she'd built around her heart. She so badly needed someone to love her.
He slipped his arm free of Danielle's and she faced him with a confused look. Without a second's hesitation he said, "I'm going home."
Her face brightened and he saw lust dancing in her expression. "I'm ready."
"I mean I'm going home to Cantonville. As soon as I can make arrangements." Now that he'd said the words, his spirit lifted. He would go back where he belonged and somehow fit the pieces and parts of his future together. First he had to find a way to get through to that stubborn blond who owned his heart.
* * *
She'd been on so many planes in the last week that she had serious jet lag. As Kandee watched the plane land at the City of Colorado Springs Municipal Airport, she had a strong sense of deja vu. When she'd left here seven days ago, she had no intention of going back to Cantonville for at least a year. The second she stepped into her lonely condo in Houston she'd known she had made probably the biggest mistake of her life. She had walked away from a chance for a future with Sean. He was worth fighting for, worth risking possibly looking like an idiot by chasing after him.
Snow was again lightly falling as the plane taxied up to the terminal. Her heart raced. The chase was still on, but, hopefully, nearing an end. After managing to get Sean's New York City address from Chad, she'd flown all the way to New York yesterday afternoon. It had taken her longer than she'd hoped to get a taxi and finally get to his very exclusive, high security apartment building. Then she'd had to deal with the security man who was reluctant to admit here inside so she could call up to Sean's apartment. And then it hadn't been Sean that answered her call. Danielle had greeted her. She had nearly disconnected and walked away in tears. But Danielle had reluctantly told her that he'd gone back to his ranch earlier that morning. They'd passed each other in the skies. Just her luck of late.
The cabin door opened, passengers around her hurriedly gathered their things. She drew in a deep breath to steady her nerves. She hoped there were rental cars still available. It was Christmas Eve and she hadn't wanted to call Aimee and Chad and interrupt their family time. She would get back to Cantonville even if she had to walk and drag her bag all the way there.
Focused on locating the rental car counter, she nearly jumped out of skin when she sensed someone moving right next to her. She inhaled the familiar scent of leather jacket, a sporty man's cologne, and...Sean! Her heart pounded and she raised her gaze to his, shocked, pleased.
"What are you doing here?" She had to blink back tears as she gasped out the question.
"I figured you might need a ride." He took hold of the small suitcase she'd brought, having been determined to travel light. He smiled warily.
She just wanted to stand here and take in how wonderful he looked. All six-foot three inch pure Colorado cowboy from scuffed boots to jeans that hugged his muscled legs to his sheepskin-lined jacket to the ruggedly handsome face she loved to look at. He took her breath away.
"How did you know I'd be here?" She was having trouble getting her thoughts straight. Darn jet lag.
"Danielle called me."
"Oh." She felt her face heat. So he knew she'd gone to see him in New York. What did he think about that? That she was tracking him down in another attempt to manipulate him? She didn't know what to say.
He grinned. "She was plenty pissed about you showing up at my apartment." He sobered and held her gaze. "Why, Kandee
? Why did you go looking for me?"
She'd had a speech all worked out in her mind, how she thought they might have a chance to be happy together. She would help him sort through all the decisions he had to make. She wouldn't pressure him about their living together, but she wanted to be his lover whenever he could make time for her. She'd decided she could settle for any scrap of his time. Now she knew that wasn't true. She wanted all of him...all of his time. But did she have the courage to tell him?
"Because you need me." She sucked in a breath and said boldly, "Because I need you."
He nodded and looked thoughtful, but didn't respond to her statements. Instead he put his free arm around her back and silently led her out of the terminal to his big Ram truck.
* * *
It was only around six o'clock but already getting darker by the time they got to the edge of Cantonville. During the hour drive back, they talked about Aimee and Chad, about the town, about the hassles of flying at this time of year. She didn't know what to think about how he carefully avoided talking about anything personal. But then she hadn't steered the conversation that way either. In truth, nothing mattered except that she was finally with him again. He could do anything with her that he wanted...and she sure had a lot of fantasies about that. The closer they got to town, the more she fidgeted in her seat. She ached for him.
"We're going to spend the night at my house," he said, drawing her from her thoughts. He glanced over at her. "Do you have a problem with that?"
"Works for me." Then she noticed they weren't headed for the ranch. "Where are..." She stopped as she realized they were getting close to her parents' home.
He tipped up his beard-stubbled chin and focused on the road. "I hung those lights of yours."
"You...you did?" Tears once more misted her eyes. After her foolish attempt at doing it and nearly killing herself, she hadn't thought anymore about them. Especially after she'd packed up so fast and left town.
He nodded and remained quiet until they turned down her street. A street that was lit up brightly by the house on the end of the cul-de-sac: her family's home. She gaped at it. The house in Christmas Vacation had nothing on this overly decorated one. She'd never seen so many lawn blow-up decorations. An enormous snowman, Santa carrying a huge bag of presents, reindeer, elves, and so much more. The large lawn was outlined with lit candy canes. Colored lights of all kinds and shapes ran along the gutters, all sections of the roof, up and over the two fireplace chimneys, and around every window on the front of the house. She could only imagine what her neighbors must think. Who cared what they thought!
"You did this? By yourself?" She still couldn't believe it.
"My idea and I did a lot of it." He looked at her as they stopped far enough away to take it all in. "My buddies and their families all helped. So did your neighbors."
Tears slid down her cheeks. No one had ever done anything really special just for her. Until now. "I'll never be able to thank them all." She sniffled. "To tell them how much this means to me."
She started to undo her seat belt and go to him, but he shook his head. "I'll take my personal thank-you later. Stay buckled up. We're going to my place now."
* * *
Sean had hoped he'd done the right thing by decorating her house, but he hadn't been sure. Maybe she would have had bad memories after her fall. Maybe she would rather have had them completely taken off. But he'd decided to do it and suddenly he hadn't been doing it alone. He'd felt a real part of the community again, and now he knew that Kandee, too, was being welcomed back home. Welcomed to a town that he knew she hadn't ever felt like she really belonged in, except for being the daughter of a prominent family. This had been done for her, not her family.
He held the steering wheel tightly so he wouldn't reach over and wipe away the tears still sliding down her beautiful face. If he touched her, he wouldn't be able to go through with the rest of what he'd planned. He'd have to do far more than touch her, which he hoped to do...later. So he let her sit there quietly crying over how thoughtful people had been to her. He was just relieved that it had turned out all right. He hadn't made a fool of himself. He'd taken a chance and it worked out.
Turning onto the road leading to his ranch, his stomach knotted. He'd taken an even bigger chance at his home and he prayed it wasn't a mistake. He hoped he wasn't moving too fast. But he was ready to move forward with his life.
Kandee had started to turn to him, opened her mouth to speak, when her eyes widened and she gasped, "Oh, Sean."
He stopped the truck so that she faced the full effect of what he'd done. Had her gasp been good? Or bad?
"Oh, Sean," she said on a wobbly sob, repeating herself.
Finally he looked at her and then sighed in relief at the smile on her face as she focused on the wording in big white-lit letters across the roof: Marry me. I love you.
"Oh, Sean wasn't really the answer I was hoping for." Now he dared to reach over and thumb away her tears.
She glanced at him with the answer in her eyes and then back at the house. Instead of telling him what he wanted to hear, she said, "You left me. You went back to New York."
He blinked at her. "You left town first. You went back to Houston."
"Details." She noticed the glow coming from the front window, the Christmas tree he'd put up and decorated late last night. "A tree? You really put up a tree?"
"Had to have somewhere to put all of those presents I got you." Okay, he only had three. And he wasn't sure what she would think about one of them. The other two he definitely thought she would like. Hoped she would like.
"But I didn't..." She looked at him in panic. "I..."
He shook his head. "Remember, it's not the gift that counts. It's the thought." He grinned as wickedly as he could. "Besides, I've got all kinds of ideas for gifts you can give me. Very personal gifts. Very intimate."
"So what are we doing out here?" She swiped away the remaining tears and added, "Get this truck moving cowboy."
* * *
Five minutes later Kandee sat next to Sean in front of the tree, tears again threatening. "This is all more than I hoped for. I just wanted to see you again, try to--"
"I'm ready to move on, forget the stupid mistakes both of us made." He reached for two of the packages he'd wrapped in over-sized boxes. Nerves jangling in his stomach, he handed them to her. "They sort of go together."
Her eyes were warm with love for him, yet sad, too. "I still feel bad about..." She thrust out her stubborn chin and pushed the presents back at him. "No. I'm not opening these until I can get you something. We'll just have to do our Christmas exchange in a day or so."
"Seriously?" He couldn't believe this. But then she was pretty head-strong at times, which made him crazy...and made him love her, too.
He thought about his other gift, the one he wasn't sure how she'd react to. He set the first two packages aside and grabbed the other one. When he handed her the third present, he gave her a determined look. "Open this."
At first she sat there stubbornly refusing, but finally she heaved a sigh and ripped off the colorful wrapping paper. She pursed her lips in annoyance and pulled off the lid to the slender box. Her eyes lifted to his, questioning, clearly intrigued. Her fingers moved to lightly touch the red fur-covered, foot-long leather paddle. He'd purchased it a long time ago but had never found the right person to use it on. He waited tensely for her verbal response.
She lifted it out of the box, grinning now. "Foreplay?"
He took it from her, their fingers touching, desire sparking through him. "Foreplay," he agreed huskily. He flipped it over to the non-furry side. "For a naughty woman, too, who needs a hot bottom for real."
"Can we..." Even as she started her question, she shifted to sitting on her knees, then rose up and peeled down her dress slacks and bikini panties, baring her bottom.
Sean watched her, heart thudding crazily, cock hardening, palm sweating as he held the paddle. "Now?" he croaked. He would rather stretch her out
and drive inside her. He'd been thinking about that almost 24/7 for the last couple of days.
She moved over his lap and his erection grew thicker, pulsed. Giggling, she gently reached around to touch him and he nearly exploded right then. "He'll get his turn. I promise. But first, please."
He was almost dying, but how could he resist her playful request? "Are you manipulating me again?" Not that he cared.
"A little." She wriggled temptingly. "What are you going to do about it?"
He smoothed the furry side around her bare bottom. "Turn this butt pink."
He repeated the sensual smoothing, then tapped the fur side on one quivering cheek and then the other. She trembled.
He turned the paddle to the leather side and smacked it down briskly four times, drawing a surprised gasp from her. Once more he went back to running the fur over her bottom.
"More," she begged, squirming and glancing back at him with heated eyes.
"With pleasure, sweetheart." The temptation to give into his enjoyment of spanking an agreeable woman was too much to resist. He again flipped the paddle to the leather side. "I still owe you a spanking for nearly killing yourself."
"I'd hoped..." She settled in as if expecting a hard spanking. "Okay, I'm ready."
He gave her a dozen biting smacks that her butt bouncing, had her yelping. And then he shifted back to the furry side to smooth away the sting. "Are we ready to move on?"
She was almost purring now. "A little more?"
Indulgently, he gave her another six swats and tossed aside the paddle to this time smooth the sting with his hand. He desperately wanted to reach between her legs, to slide a finger inside her, to ...