“I can’t keep buying clothes with what I earn, Noah. I’ve got to save up. God knows I can’t go home. I’ll be sleeping in a cell if I did that.”
He cocked his brow. “Seriously, you think he’d do that?”
I nodded. He didn’t know how crazy my ex could get. Yes, I’d driven his car into a pond, but he could be vindictive. After my actions I was sure he was plotting against me to see how he could destroy what I had left to my name. “Unfortunately, yes. I can’t go back there. I’m just going to save up my money and take a bus somewhere. I’ve got bartender and waitressing skills. I’m sure I can find a job and a cheap motel that rents by the month.”
I watched as his jaw clenched. He took a strand of wet hair and pushed it out of my face. “I don’t like hearin’ you talk that way, Shalan. There’s nobody you can call?”
I shook my head and looked down at the floor. It was embarrassing to admit that I had nothing. “Nobody. Hell, by now my uncle knows I lied. His wife won’t let me go back there. She’s probably furious that I walked out on my job with no notice. I already told you that I don’t talk to my dad, so that’s out of the question.”
“There’s got to be somethin’.”
I shrugged again. “I could always strip.”
“Yeah right. You wouldn’t?” I could tell he seemed offended about it.
“Why not? If it paid the bills, I’d do it. I mean, it’s not like I’d have to sleep with anybody.”
He leaned on the counter and looked down, ignoring the fact that we were both standing in the bathroom naked. I grabbed one of his arms and made him look at me. “Noah, this is my problem. Stop trying to help me with it. Regardless of my meeting you, this would be my fate. We’re just people that met in passing. I never expected to be saved from my life, and I’d never ask it either.”
He stood up and pulled me against his chest. “That’s the problem, Shalan. I was raised better than to turn my back on someone that needs help.”
“Don’t you dare ask me to go with you out of pity. I won’t have you feeling sorry for me, not after last –“
His cell phone started ringing. It rang three times and stopped, but then started right up again. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
Noah picked up his phone with his back to me. “Yeah?”
“Dad, I ain’t comin’ home.” He paused, probably listening to what his father was saying. “We discussed this the night I left. I don’t want your life.” Another pause. “How do you know where I am?” I could hear his father yelling from in the other room. His words weren’t clear, but it was very obvious. “Tell Mom I’m fine. I’m sure you’ll figure somethin’ out when I don’t show up. I’m not a kid! Yeah you too, you ignorant prick.”
He tossed the phone on the bed and sat down. I hopped off the sink and walked over to where he was standing. After running my hands through his wet hair, I pulled it back enough to kiss him on the lips.
Noah pulled away and looked at me in a weird way. His eyes were scary.
Suddenly, he hopped up and shoved me against the wall. His left hand had one of mine pinned above my head, while his right hand grabbed the skin of my pussy and pulled. “I need this.”
I let out a cry, wondering what was going to happen. To be honest, I was pretty freaked out. “Noah, please don’t hurt me.”
He shoved his lips on mine and then his tongue in my mouth. His kisses, once again ravenous with no tempo. Fingers plunged inside of me with force, over and over. His mouth separated from mine, but only to bite down on my collarbone. I cried out and felt my body being thrown onto the bed. Those eyes were the same, more black showing than the green. I crawled from one end of the bed to the other to distance us. He climbed on too. “Don’t fuckin’ run from me, Shalan.”
“You’re making me scared. I don’t want you to hurt me.”
He sighed and held out his hand, gritting his teeth while he spoke. “Come on, woman. You know what I want. Why don’t you get over here and give it to me? Don’t you want to practice with me, before you start that job dancin’?”
I wasn’t going to take him treating me like that because he was pissed off. I had nothing to do with it. “Why are you acting so mean? I don’t understand. What happened? Did your dad piss you off?”
“My dad won’t control me. Nobody can.”
“It was just a call. Calm down. I’m not sleeping with you right now, not when you’re being ridiculous. We’ve got to get ready.”
“The only fuckin’ thing you need to be ready for is this.” He motioned towards his crotch. “Now bend your ass over and give me what I want, or get the fuck out of my hotel room.” He shook his head and started laughing. “Ain’t this why you’re here? Don’t you want to work for money? It’s why all the women want to be with me, Shalan. Nothin’ changes.” Instead of having me bend over and put my ass in the air, he turned me around so that I was lying on my back. “Let me teach you how they’re goin’ to treat you at the strip club.” He positioned himself to where he could enter me as he continued speaking. I should have said no, but I was feeling so powerless, and utterly shocked that he’d treat me with such disrespect. I covered my breasts with my arms and was prepared to protect my face, need be. Noah was acting as if he could inflict bodily harm and I was petrified. Tears started falling down my cheeks. I didn’t know this man that was on top of me. “I’m going to teach you how to like it rough, woman. Say you like it. Tell me. Tell me you like bein’ told what to do.”
This side of him, this awful side, only showed me how messed up he was over whatever his father had said. I didn’t know whether I pitied him or was completely upset with him. He was the stranger that I never should have ended up in bed with. I couldn’t hold the pain of this mistake in any longer.
It took one look; one moment to meet my stare, for him to stop. “Shit.” He reached for my hands and pulled me into a sitting position across from him. His head turned as he looked away, disappointed. “God damn it.” When he looked back at me I could see that he was sorry. He pulled me into a hug and held me there, kissing the side of my head every few seconds, but never explaining what the hell had just happened, or the fact that he was still holding me. “Look at me, Shalan. Please.”
I refused. “I thought you were going to hit me.”
He kept his hold on me. “I’d never hurt you like that. Don’t even say that.”
“Noah, you practically slammed me into a wall and forced yourself on me. Just get off of me. I’ll pack my things and leave, and then you won’t have to see me ever again, because my life is none of your fucking business.”
He wouldn’t move.
I slapped his arms, trying to free myself. “Let go of me, Noah. I’m not kidding.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“For which part? You’re sorry for scaring me, or for telling me that I’m the same as a common whore?” I was devastated, especially after feeling like something was developing between us. He was wrong about accusing me of being that kind of woman. I’d never sell my body for money, not to mention that he’d made a comment about me using him like all the other women he’d been with.
“You don’t get it. You never could.” He scrunched up his face, but still didn’t move from above me. “My dad makes me so mad. It makes me say things I don’t mean. I take my anger out on the people around me. I meant nothin’ by it. I don’t think of you that way, I swear. I’d never hurt a woman, especially you, Shalan. You’ve got to believe me. I don’t want you to leave.” The feeling in the room changed just as fast as it had before, but not soon enough for me to feel any better. In a matter of seconds everything I’d felt for Noah was destroyed. He was just like every other man, and it made me sick.
It took all my might, but I managed to push him off of me. I slid off the bed and ran into the bathroom, closing the door before he could get to it. “It’s too late. I’m not into forgiving people. They’ll just end up hurting me again anyway.”
The room suddenly became qui
et. I stood on the other side of the door and listened for his reply. After a couple minutes I heard the door to the hall open and close. Quietly I opened the door to find Noah gone.
Without getting dressed I sat down on the edge of the bed and started to bawl. He wasn’t my Prince Charming after all, because there wasn’t such a thing.
Since I didn’t have much to choose from, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a tight top that I’d purchased between the second-hand store and Walmart. Two times I went out into the hallway and looked for Noah. He hadn’t called, not that I even knew his number anyway.
By the time I heard him come in I’d just finished putting on my makeup. My hair was styled and I was actually ready to walk out the door to go to the gig without him. From the moment I saw his face I could tell he was broken up about what had happened. As much as I wanted to run right into those strong arms, I knew I couldn’t.
In his hands were bags, and one of them smelled delicious. “I know you’re mad at me. I was a dick. If you want me to get my own room, I will, but I don’t want you to leave. I know how important singin’ is to you. I grabbed this food, because I thought you might be hungry. Also, I picked you up something for you to wear tonight.”
He handed me the bags, but kept standing as if he was going to leave if I asked him to. I pulled out Italian food, enough for four people and sat it on the small table in our room. After motioning for him to sit in the chair across from me, I looked in the other smaller bag.
There had been this dress that I noticed in a window of a store outside of our hotel. It wasn’t glitzy like the one I’d worn the night before. This one was all sex. It was see-thru black everywhere except for the ass and crotch area. Obviously I’d have to wear a bra for the top, but it was definitely something unlike anything I’d ever worn in my life. Basically it was like I was wearing only a bikini out on the stage to perform.
I held the small amount of fabric in my hands and looked at him. “Peace offering?”
He took a bite of bread. “Is it helpin’ at all?”
“You can’t just buy people things when you piss them off. In order to be forgiven you need to prove that what you did wasn’t meant. As much as I appreciate the dress and even dinner, I’d rather know that you won’t ever treat me like that again. Noah, you went psycho and I didn’t like it at all. I don’t sleep with strangers, so being with you went against all of the rules I had made for myself. I thought you were sweet, and you made me feel safe. Right now, I don’t think I’ll ever feel that way about you again. I hope you can accept that.”
He nodded, but seemed defeated. “Yeah, I get it.”
“What did your dad say to make you so mad?” I was so curious as to what caused him to freak out. More importantly, why had he taken it out on me?
“He said that if I don’t come home in three days he’s takin’ my name off of the business completely, throwin' all my belongin’s in the dumpster, and forbiddin’ me to come back to the ranch. He said that if I don’t come home, I’m not a part of the family anymore and I ain’t welcome. He claims that the ranch is my birthright, and that I never had a choice.”
Noah had told me all about his struggles to live his own life and find his future without his parent’s guidance. I knew that he’d been dealt an ultimatum he wasn’t prepared to handle. If he didn’t go home, he’d lose everything.
In the big picture I was nothing. No wonder he thought he could take out his anger on me. Still, it didn’t change the fact that I’d been scared of him, even if it were only for a few minutes out of the whole time I’d known him.
“What are you going to do?”
He looked down at his plate. “Hell if I know.”
We ate in silence, neither of us really having much to say to each other. I was still mad, and he was literally too messed up to have a rational discussion.
I put my new dress on and walked out of the bathroom just moments before we were due down stairs. Noah smiled, letting me know that I looked hot in it, but I didn’t allow him to see my amusement in catching his attention. What had happened between us was going to help me say goodbye to him, and I was okay with it.
So I thought.
Noah
I really messed up. Leave it to me to take out my anger on Shalan, who hadn’t done a damn thing to deserve it. I think what bothered me the most was knowing that when she looked at me there was fear in her eyes.
I realized that I didn’t owe her anything. Soon we’d part ways and she’d forget all about our time together.
Still, I couldn’t help but try to convince her that my actions weren’t how I acted normally. Leave it to my dad to get to me even when I wasn’t anywhere near him. Shalan looked beautiful in the dress. Let me rephrase that, she looked appetizing, and I didn’t want to let her leave the room. I think it was that exact moment where I started to feel protective over her. I didn’t want anyone seeing her the way I did. I knew they’d be eyeing her up, imagining what it would be like to be inside of her. She stood by the door and put her hands on her hips. “Are you sure I look good?”
I got this vibe from her question like she was asking because she knew she looked hot. How could she not? The woman was exquisite.
“You know the answer already. Does my opinion matter?”
She smiled. “Maybe.”
I approached her, breaking the small distance between us. I looked down, directly into her eyes. “I should have never bought you this dress.”
“Why? You said I looked good.”
“Because I don’t want anyone seein’ you in it.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
I licked my lips. I couldn’t help it, being so close to her and not doing anything. I placed my hands on her shoulders and noticed immediately that she didn’t pull away from me. “The way you look right now should be a crime. I may have bought you that dress, but I definitely have a problem with you wearin’ it.”
“I don’t understand. Illegal? What are you talking about?”
“Damn it, woman.” I paused and shook my head. “Never mind.”
I turned, attempting to walk away and bite my tongue about the way she was making me feel. After all, I had no right to tell her what to do. She liked the dress and I’d bought it for her. End of discussion.
Shalan grabbed my arm and made me turn back around. “Why can’t you say what you mean?”
“Because my opinion doesn’t matter. Why would it? We’re just friends, if that. Right?”
Her expression went from curious to disappointed, and I couldn’t figure out why. What kind of woman would want a man that she barely knew to boss her around? “Yeah. Your right. Just keep your thoughts to yourself next time.” Shalan grabbed her purse and went out of the room, leaving me standing there alone.
I ran after her, making it to the elevators just in time to catch a ride with her. “Will you hold up? We’re both goin’ to the same place.”
“I don’t want to be late.” She hit the button for the lower floor and the elevator doors closed. “Besides, I figured you need to change or something before you came down.”
I walked over to the corner she was standing in and pressed my body against hers. Our eyes met and her lips parted. There was no hesitation as I planted a long awaited kiss over her lips. I kept my eyes open until hers closed. At first she didn’t respond to me, but after two attempts she allowed my tongue access to her own. I held the sides of her cheek while she reached up and grabbed the collar to my shirt, pulling me into the kiss more.
We only broke apart when the elevator doors opened and it was time to get out. Shalan said nothing as I grabbed her hand and led her toward the lounge area. This was going to be our second night performing, and I felt like we had done a great job the night before.
Of course my mind wasn’t on performing on stage with Shalan, it was what we could do after the show was over. Before we walked inside, I pulled her by the hand and led her to a corner where I could talk to her in private. “Listen to m
e. I know you’re mad. You’ve got every right to be. There’s just somethin’ I want you to know before we go in there tonight.”
She seemed interested enough in knowing what it was. “Okay.”
“No matter how pissed you are, or what you might be thinkin’, I want you to come back to the room with me tonight, Shalan.”
“Where else am I going to go?” If she thought nobody was going to approach her in that outfit she was blind and pretty naïve.
“Just say you’ll be with me tonight, even if it ain’t in my bed.”
We were still holding hands and Shalan looked down at them as she spoke. “I have nowhere else to go, Noah.”
“That’s not really what I mean. Suppose someone hits on you. What will you do then?”
She pulled away and got this nasty look on her face. “Obviously you haven’t listened to a word I said, Noah. I get that I slept with you without knowing you for a while, but I don’t sleep with strangers. I can assure you that I’ll be back in the room with you tonight, sleeping in the other queen bed.”
I rolled my eyes and walked away, knowing that I’d pissed her off again and it was only a matter of time before we were having words and she’d be telling me she hated me. It wasn’t the time or place for either and I didn’t really like the idea of drawing more attention to how hot she looked in the dress.
Like the night before, we met the band members inside and started our first set a little while after setting up. Shalan was determined to get through the whole night without looking at me, or even saying anything directly to me. She sang her songs as beautiful as ever, giving me those familiar chills down my spine each time.
I sat on the stool next to her, harmonizing the melody, matching her keys, and trying my best to gain her attention. Unfortunately, the only people getting that were the slew of people in the audience watching her perform. At the end of each song she got cheers, and I knew damn-well they weren’t for me. In between sets we all went out for air and drinks. Like the night before, the band stuck together, having a few smokes and mingling amongst themselves. Shalan and I stood off to the side, completely alone. She had her arms crossed over her chest and wouldn’t look in my direction. I moved closer to taunt her, but noticed a couple approaching us quickly. The man, dressed more high class than I was used to seeing at home, held out his hand for me to shake. “I’m Tony Mangalo, and this is my wife Shelly. We have dinner here once a week and noticed that the usual band had some new members, and I’ve got to tell you,” he turned and directed his next words to Shalan. “You have a set of pipes that shouldn’t be ignored, and your friend here isn’t so bad himself. The band members told us to talk to you tonight, if we were still interested. I had to call and make sure it was alright with them to approach you first, since we’re not looking for a whole group. We like to find our own band for our singers and find it works best on a more professional level.” His wife reached into her small handbag and pulled out a card. “This is our company,” she started explaining. “We record and produce music. You may have heard of us. If not, you can go on the website listed and see all of the people we’ve worked with, or are still working with. Are you two a couple? Do you do this act together?”
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