I shall disguise myself to look like him. We are very alike, everyone says so. And they will kill me instead of him. It is easy. All these thousands of different uniforms and ways of dressing make it easy.
I am ready to leave. Suzannah follows me around saying, Don’t go, Rachel, don’t go. She is in tears half the time. She keeps saying, You are mistaken Rachel. She says my name in that heavy earnest way. The Jewish Ra-chel. I like my name like that. I have always been pleased when people said Ra-chel. But when she says it, it is as if she was taking me over. Through my name. I am thinking all the time, suppose George did know they were going to try and kill him and that ‘someone’ would come here and I would want to rush off and warn him. He knows all sorts of things before they happen. But suppose he didn’t? This is the most important point. Sometimes I think one way, then another. I cry all the time, though I try not to. Suzannah cries. She wrings her hands. I did not know wringing one’s hands was something actually done. But she does. She would! Everything in her is very pure. She accuses me, Ra-chel, you are wrong, you are very wrong! – her eyes flash, they brim with tears. Accusation. How can you Ra-chel! It is wrong, oh I would not have believed it of you! Reproach. She makes some ridiculous mistake, perhaps in cooking, wasting some little thing. Oh, how could I do a thing like that, oh how could I! Remorse, her eyes widen and stare as if at an avenging accuser, her hair actually stands on end.
And so now we are two women, weeping and wringing our hands. I watch us doing it.
Here we are, in this flat, the two of us with two children, a family, and she leans all over me and makes me cups of soup and gives me her rations, and says, You must eat, Ra-chel, you must sleep, Ra-chel. She has altered all the furniture in Mother’s and Father’s room. There is no reason why she shouldn’t. I’ve watched her stand in the door smiling in at the room, as if she had been given something wrapped in pretty paper and she doesn’t want to unwrap it for fear of spoiling the paper.
When I saw this I kissed her. I loved her for it. I wished I could give her everything wrapped in pretty paper to make up for the awful things that have happened to her, and that she came through. I can’t imagine anything that could defeat Suzannah. If they put her down in a desert with Kassim and Leila, all by herself, a thousand miles from anywhere, she would say, Now Kassim, now Leila, this is what we must do, listen carefully. We must be sensible and …
I am leaving tomorrow.
COMRADE CHEN LIU, to PEKING: re the GEORGE SHERBAN situation
Attempts to dispose of this dangerous man have failed. What went wrong is not clear. A woman impersonating him, who we later discovered was his sister, appeared in various places, but not where he was scheduled to be: he has never made any attempt to disguise his movements. This woman was wearing the uniform of Section 3, North African Youth Movements, while leaving Tunis and arriving in Spain – aided by the Youth networks, and getting lifts with various types of military vehicle. In the south of France she changed to clothes commonly worn by the said George Sherban, and succeeded in passing for him, but only for a few days. Appearing in towns and encampments where he was not expected, and behaving in a bizarre manner, ‘he’ was reported to have suffered a mental breakdown. Meanwhile the real George Sherban was in Brussels. This period of less than a week sufficed to start rumours that this ‘holy man’ – as in some quarters he is taken to be – has the capacity to be in two places at once. The rumours spread widely and the real George Sherban was reportedly embarrassed. At any rate, in Amsterdam he addressed a meeting of hysterics, denying he had any such capacity, but such was the fervour of the crowd, he had to make a getaway. He went to Stockholm where he disappeared from our agents’ view for some days. In the meantime, while our agents were still taking Rachel Sherban for him, she was involved in two serious accidents outside Paris, but escaped from both with minor injuries. We tend to believe that he was attempting to reach her, or to send messengers of some kind to her. But she was arrested by the Paris People’s Police on our instructions, and before she could be questioned, killed herself.
These theatrical events are not all that obscure this situation. For instance, we expected George Sherban to seek election as representative for all North Africa, and we are informed that he would certainly have succeeded. But he did not, and made no attempt to do so. He is travelling through the Youth networks representing an assortment of miscellaneous organizations, some with status, some without influence to the point of being ridiculous. I can only believe that his ambitions are pitched much higher. I can make no guess at what this man is aiming for. This is by no means the first opportunity for fulfilling apparent ambitions that he has despised. There have been others that were his for the picking and he ignored them.
Looking for factors that distinguish his career as representative of so many various and different Youth organizations, our agents can offer only a few consistent facts. One is that wherever he has been a handful of individuals abandon the positions they hold and make their way to other destinations. We can find no common denominator in these individuals, who are of every race and nation, and of both sexes. Nor in the places they go to. Or in the places they come from. Or in the work they do when they arrive. They may stay in the Youth networks or may not. Their work may be visibly responsible and respect-inspiring, or without civic value.
Taking these factors into account, I suggest that George Sherban be left alive for the time being, until we ascertain what it is he is aiming for.
The nine attempts to dispose of him have lost us five of our employees.
His brother Benjamin Sherban is in Camp 16, Czechoslovakia. He is undergoing Top Treatment on Elite Level. It is too early to assess results. George Sherban, reported to be on his way to India, spent a day with Benjamin Sherban. This was done in a way typical of his style of working. There was nothing illegal in his arrival or stay in Camp 16. Yet no one else has attempted such a thing, nor had we believed anyone would attempt it: it seems pointless. But it is outside our jurisdiction unless we decide to make our Benevolent Rule specific and obtrusive.
BENJAMIN SHERBAN, CAMP 16, CZECHOSLOVAKIA, to GEORGE SHERBAN in SIMLA
I have things to tell you, my little brother! But how is another matter. One thing after another, I hear you say? Right. Here goes. You were here the day before the ‘Friendship Tutorial’ was destined to begin. We did not know what to expect. I thought luxury and opulence, carrying on the grand traditions of Karlovy Vary, that baroque consolation of the Bourgeoisie, for their hard lives, ditto of the Party Bosses and their hard lives. But not at all. In a splendid shell, all gilt and cupids and rubbishy splendour of all sorts, behold, functional cells for us students, and common rooms conducive only to spartan thought. Two hundred of us. Cream of the cream. All under twenty-five, including the Chinese, our mentors. Equal numbers of men and women. And adequate austerity and no privileges for anybody, including the Chinese.
The other three of us arrived, in the end, but late: they had had difficulties. I made myself known to them and the instructions were passed.
The various artefacts were placed as advised.
We ate our meals in the former hotel dining room, lush to the point of lubricity, but the food was mostly potatoes-and-lucky-to-get-them.
The Chinese, ten of them, mingled from the start, very correct but friendly. They let it be understood that for the first few days nothing would be organized. The agenda: we were to get to know each other. The agenda when further pressed: informal discussions on the problems which face us.
Which are?
The relations between the Youth Armies and the European subject masses, correct attitudes towards said subject masses.
This was not at all what was generally expected. Which was of course tourist trips hither and yon, interviews with the Bosses, being photographed on cultural monuments, and probably a year in a Chinese city as honoured guests and all that crap.
Faced with this ‘agenda’ you can bet there were informal discussions. At which the Ch
inese did not appear at all. They let us get on with it. We then concluded that the expected rewards for good behaviour and ‘cooperation’ would be nothing so crude as above, but jobs and offices of various kinds in the new structure controlling the said populations. In other words, we decided – and still think – that the top layers of the structure of the Youth Armies will be incorporated into the Overlords Administration. Time-honoured stuff of course. But then, if it had not always been so effective, would it be honoured? In other words, we were being faced with the complete loss of autonomy of the Youth Armies – such as it has been – but we are not expected to mind: on the contrary, we must allow ourselves to be swallowed whole without a protest.
But do not think I carp! Since this is bound to happen, at some point and we all knew it, I, they, everyone, am, are, is, overwhelmed with admiration as usual at the smooth tact of our Chinese Benevolences, such a nice change compared to you-know-who, and what a pity they feel themselves too good to learn useful lessons from our Beneficial Rulers.
Right. So much for the framework, which is not the burden of my information, only the background.
The above-mentioned ‘informal discussions’ went on day and night aided by (moderate) alcohol, (well-tempered) sex, eternal friendships being sworn between Alaskans and Brazilians, South Sea Islanders and Irishmen, lassies from Cape Wrath and denizens of the Cape of Good Hope, everything as usual.
Everything exactly as usual, and as to be expected, all the attitudes being struck that the Benevolences were obviously wanting us to get out of the way before serious discussions could begin: ‘Never will I bow my head …’ ‘I would die sooner than …’ ‘Do they think they can buy …’ etc. and so on ad pukeam. But after a few hours the atmosphere changed, and this is where I rely on your interpretation. Bearing in mind that during this phase our mentors were always discreetly elsewhere, appearing only for meals, charm and friendly likeability personified.
The aforementioned atmosphere. It took me some time to understand what was happening, and then, to believe what was happening. On that very first morning I was with twenty other people, collected together at random, in a former billiard room, transmogrified into a setting for We Shall Not Be Moved! all sitting about casually, at ease, talking on the theme, if-they-imagine-they-can-buy-us, when it came into my mind that everything we were saying could be interpreted differently. On a different level. This seemed so wild that I put it all down to being up until four with Her Amiability from Abyssinia. (No, talking.) After lunch, turnips-and-lucky-to-get-them, I was with another group of about twenty, in another room. We were discussing the possibilities of cooperation with Their Benevolences, when I realized it was happening again, and this time stayed with it, and did not push it away with ‘but it’s impossible!’ The atmosphere was remarkable, clear and cool, those are the words I think. Everyone very alert, quick, getting every point, eye contact saying volumes where words did not. Not only I, but everyone realized something peculiar was happening. After all, I had had the advantage of being in on similar occasions with you, when operational. But everyone knew. Each one of us. And yet if the Beneficials had been present, they could have sat through from start to finish and not heard one subversive word.
And so the next three days.
You will not need me to spell it out.
I was always with different associations of people, according to how they formed themselves at the moment when an ‘informal discussion’ was due to begin. Often in different rooms. But it was the same in all the groups. Our three particular friends confirm this: we did discuss it a little, but there was no need to. More and more it happened that after that kind of transparent talk, we would find ourselves sitting silent, for ten, fifteen, twenty minutes at a time. More. An hour once. Nothing said. No need to say a word.
And when we were actually talking, the two levels were unmistakable-clear, so easy to read that it was as if we all suddenly had been taught another language.
Well, while these informal and casual discussions were going on, we of course all came together in the big dining room for meals. At which we all sat in that high calm atmosphere that made us one. And the Chinese could make nothing of it. They kept starting discussions and themes, but after a minute these simply died out. We could see they believed we had got hold of drugs or something like that. We could see that they were beginning to be affected too. They didn’t like it. We knew they were meeting to discuss it. Meanwhile, we enjoyed another two days of being by ourselves. There was one session when we – the usual random lot – went into a room, sat down, and not one word was said for the whole morning. There was no need for it. And then the Benevolences changed tactics and at each ‘informal discussion’ each group had a mentor. They did not change what was happening. When we were actually talking, there was nothing to be heard by them that wasn’t on one level ‘sensible’. But once or twice there started the long silence, which they broke, out of nervousness.
Right.
End of good tidings.
Beginning of bad tidings.
There we all were, on the sixth day, all so far from our usual silly selves that it made us positively sick to remember them. And then, there appeared at breakfast a man who did not introduce himself, but he just sat there. The Chinese did not know who he was either. That was clear. Though they pretended after first surprise that he was not a surprise. Or at least some of them did. As usual, we were saved by the fact that it is quite impossible to brainwash everyone to the same degree all the time. Some of our mentors were able instantly to put on a good face, offer a united front, but others not. And this was how we knew this particular Benevolence was unknown to them.
But what a creep. Type international technocrat, enough said.
The Bland Man at once introduced himself into one of our discussions, the one I was at, as it happened. He came in smiling. He sat smiling. I tell you, I have long since reached the point that when I see a Certain Smile I wish only to reach for my gun.
The atmosphere was … not the same.
It thickened. We all of us kept starting topics, and in the spirit of the last few days, but anything said fell flat.
Literally. That is exactly what happened. Words sent up like kites into the air of expectation guided by the string of concord went clunk. As if shot by an airgun.
Right?
We all sat there straggling to rise again like kites foundering on the hill of disappointment and inability.
Before lunch, I made the rounds and found, as I expected, that all the artefacts you had given me had gone.
At lunch there was a peevish and irritable spirit in the dining room. The Bland One sat there, as at breakfast, by himself.
Again the Chinese were obviously disturbed by his presence, though pretending not. Unmistakable however that emanation: this-is-incorrect-and-I’m-going-to-catch-it-if-I-don’t-watch-out, if only because one has been so often conscious of emanating it oneself.
After lunch I did not stay in one room, but went from one group to another. The Smiling One was with a different group from the one he had honoured in the morning.
The atmosphere had gone completely. Drained away. Accurate, no?
Sucked away?
We did not see His Blandness again. That is, he graced our deliberations for exactly one day. The Chinese, when asked, keep repeating, Oh, everything is in order, this was a Visiting Comrade.
Next day, our ‘informal discussions’ were back to normal, the usual brawling jargon-filled idiocies.
Our particular three friends have simply disappeared. They are not here. Did His Malevolence spirit them away? I cannot find out. The Chinese say they will ‘make enquiries’. They are all thoroughly upset by the whole thing.
Meanwhile, it is clear that people cannot remember what happened during those five days. I mean this absolutely and precisely. When I try to remind them, I see that look I know so well, the glazed empty look. It is funny that it has taken me so long to recognize that look.
And I myself have more than once found my mind going dim as I try to recall exactly that atmosphere, or even that it all did happen.
It did happen.
It happened.
What happened?
At least one knows what is possible.
I have recollected what you said to me as you left that morning: Well, you can’t win them all!
Ah, what nonchalance! What insouciance!
Of course there is a question which you can’t expect us at the very least not to adumbrate. Which is, Why take so much trouble if you know in advance it is a write-off? At the most a 1,000-1 chance?
No, don’t bother to answer.
Just as you said when I told you about Rachel, Well, better luck next time. O.K., O.K., I am joking. But only just.
I babble. Of necessity. Forgive me.
I have not been able to find anyone to bring this before. We are coming to the end of the Friendship and Learning Month, which is tedious beyond belief. The usual interminable meaningless bickering discussions about things that will never happen. The Leadership of the Youth Armies has passed a resolution agreeing to ‘attempt to adjust their activities with the administration of Pan-Europe’.
I have several times mentioned His Nastiness to our Benefactors, if for no other reason than that it is amusing to see their hasty, embarrassed and overcorrect manner as they assure us that his visit was entirely in order and approved of.
Ah, but by whom, that is the question.
So, what do you want me to do next.
COMRADE CHEN LIU, to PEKING,
COMMITTEE of PUBLIC DIRECTION and COMPREHENSIVE CO-ORDINATION
I have yet again to report hardship due to insufficient food supplies allocated to European sector. The levies on farm produce have caused the predicted passive resistance by farmers throughout the area. Over-ardour on the part of the Local Administration in fulfilling the laudable and legitimate demands of the Centre is counterproductive. From Ireland to the Urals, from Scandinavia to the Mediterranean (the area for which I have the honour to be responsible) the people are suffering famine. I took the liberty of saying in my last Report that in my view the inelastic attitude towards the Pan-European area is due to an unverbalized desire for revenge for centuries of colonial oppression. I humbly begged that the Council should consider ways of making representations to the Aligned Committees for the Emergent Nations to consider well the results of their policy. If it is desired to exterminate the people of Pan-Europe, then this should be formulated and steps taken to put plans into action. I have been informed by my envoy to you that my words on this subject were considered offensive. I hope that my record of Service to the People will speak for me. It has never been part of our policy to inflict wholesale suffering on the countries we have taken under our Benevolent Tutelage. It has always been our aim to re-educate where possible even those recalcitrant sections of the population who show little signs of understanding. Therefore I took the liberty-and do again in this Report – to ask if it is the considered policy of our Council to support the Aligned Committees for the Emergent Nations? – if it is, in fact, the intention to empty Europe for colonization from the South? If this is the aim, then I find myself impelled to protest, and purely on the grounds of expediency. Whatever happens in Europe will be ascribed to our Beneficent Guidance. All eyes are upon us. The fact that local representatives have ceased resistance due to our re-education, of various degrees of stringency, and have mostly been replaced by our guidance, adds weight to the argument in favour of making sure that the policies followed by the Aligned Committees for the Emergent Nations will add to our reputation as the true Elder Brother of the Deprived peoples of the world.
Shikasta Page 39