“Hi, there, ladies,” the waitress said, grabbing her pencil from her apron and holding it ready over a small notepad. “Our blue-plate today is a pulled pork barbeque sandwich with a side of homemade coleslaw.”
“That sounds perfect for me,” Kristin said.
I looked over the menu one last time. “I think I’m going to try the BLT.”
“Great choice. We just got some huge, fresh tomatoes in this morning. What side do you want?”
“Definitely the loaded potato salad. I think I could eat that every day.”
Kristin giggled. “Looks like you’re becoming an Oakville girl after all.”
I didn’t respond. She made the comment in jest, but it pulled on a raw nerve.
The waitress smiled and retreated, leaving me alone with Kristin and the nervous sensation scurrying around in my stomach.
Kristin cleared her throat. “So, we’ve gotten to be friends, right? Not just realtor and client?”
Uh-oh. “Yeah, sure. I’d like to think so.” I leaned back in my chair.
“Good.” She straightened her shoulders. “Then as your friend, I think we need to talk about something.”
“About the auction place and the house listing?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes and no.”
I waited.
“You know, sometimes we don’t see our own tendencies. Sometimes we need an outside perspective. From a friend.”
Oh, boy. I knew the direction in which the conversation would careen, hurling me toward certain embarrassment. Better to hit it with directness and avoid the third degree. “Look, what happened with Gloria was awful,” I said before she could point out my disgraceful behavior. “I know that. I already went over to her house to apologize. That’s all I can do.”
“You did, huh?”
I wrinkled my nose. “You sound surprised.”
“Guess I am… a little.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, Dee made me go.”
She laughed then, rolling her head back.
I didn’t see what was so funny.
Kristin wiped the corners of her eyes with her napkin, regaining composure just as the food arrived.
When the waitress left, Kristin asked, “Would you like to say the blessing?”
I shook my head. Was she crazy? “No, still not my thing. You do it. Besides, I like the way you pray.” I hadn’t meant to say that last part; it just sort of slipped out on its own.
“Really?” She brightened. “No one’s ever told me that before. I always feel so self-conscious about it because I never feel like I am…” She hesitated. “Eloquent enough.”
“That’s exactly why I like it. You sound like you are having a normal conversation with a good friend. Nothing formal. Like it’s no big deal.” And simple, I thought. Thankfully devoid of unwelcomed requests that pried into my personal life. Simple and safe – I could handle that.
She smiled. “Thanks.” She bowed her head, and I did the same.
“Father, thank you for a beautiful day, a good meal and great company. Please help us and guide us today. We need you to be with us in everything. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
“Amen.”
I picked up my fork and shoveled in a big mouthful of potato salad fully loaded with calories, but too good for me to care.
Kristin pushed her coleslaw around but didn’t eat. “So, like I was saying earlier, I think we should talk about something.” She kept her eyes on the plate.
“You mean about something else other than the thing with Gloria?” I said around a bite of sandwich, my feeble hope the conversation had run its course limping to a halt.
“Yep.” She took a bite and chewed it thoughtfully, apparently in no hurry to say it. Seeing as how I probably wasn’t going to like whatever it was, I didn’t push.
She dabbed the corner of her mouth and started slowly. “So… you know how I said earlier that sometimes we need an outside perspective?”
“Yeah.”
“Well,” she said, placing her hands on the table and leaning closer, “I think you are being a coward and running away from your problems instead of standing and facing them.”
My mouth dropped open. I felt immediately both defensive and oddly transparent. “What?”
She straightened and crossed her arms, her face projecting she’d found her courage and now could gain momentum. “I’m not trying to be mean. I’m just trying to tell you the truth in love. You want that house. I know you do. I can see it written all over you. Adela wanted you to have that house because it’s been in the family for generations. Yet, you still insist you can’t stay here or make a life here. I want to know why. Enough of this back and forth.”
I clenched my teeth. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me and see.”
I shook my head. “It’s not as simple as you make it seem.”
She stared at me and offered no response. The hum of the other patrons around us seemed to dim and I briefly wondered if they were all listening. I lowered my voice.
“It’s not just a matter of hey-this-is-a-nice-house-I-think-I’ll-keep-it,” I hissed. “There’s more to it than that.”
“Like what?”
“Like… like I have a life in another state!”
She made a humph sound.
I could feel my blood pressure rising. “What?”
“So, you mean like you have a job there?”
“You know that I – ”
“And a house?”
“No, I rent an apar—”
“And a church, friends?”
I narrowed my eyes. “No.”
“And, of course, your entire family lives there, and you wouldn’t want to be far away from relatives.”
Something in me snapped. Blood thudded in my ears. I rocketed out of my chair, nearly toppling it into the older couple at the table behind me. “How dare you!”
A hush fell over the room. They all looked at me now. I could feel their eyes boring into me, but I didn’t care. Weeks of frustration and years of pent-up anger flowed out of me. The dragon was loose, and I could no longer contain him.
Kristin’s eyes widened. Whatever expression disgraced my face must have frightened her, because the blood drained from her cheeks. “Emily, I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t care what you meant,” I snapped. “You don’t know anything about me. You don’t know anything about my family. You have no right to even talk about them!”
“I was only trying to show you that you could have a life here. Show you all those things you don’t have in New Jersey you have here.” Her voice was soft, though clearly audible to a room full of straining ears.
“No.” I glared down at her. “I don’t. The only family I had here is dead. And when they were alive they were so bad my father never even told me about them. Why would I want to stay here? My father ran away from this pathetic town! He hated this place so much he’d rather I grew up in the system than send me to Oakville. He didn’t want anything to do with you people.” Anger rolled through me like a tidal wave. “And neither do I.”
Tears streaked down my face. Shock washed over Kristin’s features, but I didn’t wait to hear her reply. I took a deep breath. “Kristin,” I said through clenched teeth, “you tell the man at the auction house to come put that thing and everything in it up for auction as it sits. Right now. I want it all gone by the end of the week. I’m done.”
Kristin’s eyes sparked, but she didn’t speak.
I stormed out of the restaurant, leaving yet another disbelieving crowd in the ashy trail of the fire that consumed me.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Emily?”
I buried my head under the pillow.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Emily, I know you’re in there honey. Come on now, let’s have a talk.”
“No, Dee. I don’t want to talk. Go away.”
Silence. I sighed and tossed the pillow off my head, pushing the tear-soaked hair from my
eyes and blinking away the light.
Dee’s face materialized directly over me.
I screamed.
She jumped back, her hand flying to her heart. “Good Lord, child. You nearly gave me a heart attack!”
I scrambled to sit up. “What are you doing in here?”
Dee put her hands on her hips. “We need to talk.”
I flopped over and threw my hands over my head. “I don’t want to talk.”
She sat on the bed next to me. “Just because you don’t want to doesn’t mean you don’t need to. I know there’s a lot of things eating at you. Talk to me.”
I peeked up at her. Her face was etched with concern.
“I don’t know where to start,” I said, moaning.
“How about we just start with why you came thundering through the house like a tornado, slamming doors hard enough to rattle these old walls?”
I sat up and ran the back of my arm over my eyes. Dee produced a tissue from her pocket and offered it to me. I wiped my nose and put the wet wad on the nightstand, and then pulled my knees up under me before finally leveling my gaze with hers. She stared back, unwavering. There would be no escaping it.
“I had a bad lunch with Kristin.”
“So I figured. What happened?”
“She…stuck a knife in some wounds and twisted it.”
Dee frowned. “That doesn’t sound like her at all. Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened?”
I told her everything. And I really mean everything this time. Not like I usually do where I just lay out the facts in the order in which they occurred. I told her all of it – from Buford coming to my door to the man who attacked me in the parking lot to my explosive lunch. For the first time I finally disclosed my childhood and what had happened to me in foster care. I told her about everything except Lydia, because not even I understood that, and I couldn’t add crazy to condemned.
For the first time in a really long time, I told somebody how I felt, and I let the darkness flow out of me. I couldn’t meet Dee’s eyes. I knew she would probably despise me when I finished, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. It gnawed at me, and I feared my soul had little left for it to consume.
When I finally finished, she was silent. A sense of dread crawled over me.
Just when I thought I had better start packing my things, Dee pulled me close, squeezing me tight against her. She stroked my hair. “Oh, sweetheart. Why didn’t you tell me? I knew what your grandmother and your daddy did hurt you. I didn’t know it hurt you this much.”
Tears burned at the back of my throat, but I fought for composure.
Dee eased me back to look into my eyes. Hers were full of love. Even in my inexperience, I recognized it.
“Emily, I know you didn’t get a fair deal in life. I wish I could change that. I should have taken your father when I had the chance. But you know, honey, if I had, he might never have met your momma and you might never have been born. It’s no accident you ended up here with me. Things like this don’t just happen. They are orchestrated.”
She pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “No matter where you go, or what you do, I want you to know you will always be family to me. Blood makes no difference. My children are children of the heart. I love them just the same.”
“I love you, too, Dee,” I whispered. “Thank you.”
Something caught my eye and I glanced at the door. Luke poked his head in. One look at us and his face filled with worry. “Is everything all right?”
“We’re okay.” Dee squeezed my hand. “Aren’t we, dear?”
All I could do was nod. My cheeks filled with blood, certainly making my face even more unattractive. I slipped my hand from underneath Dee’s and lowered my gaze.
Luke shuffled his feet. “Um, I could come back later, or we can do this another night.”
I looked up. “Do what?”
He ran a hand through his thick hair. “I wanted to come see you. I thought maybe we could talk for a little while.” He glanced at Dee who gave him a slight nod. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Then Dee said we would all have dinner together.”
He looked nervous. Somehow, that was more charming than if he beamed with confidence. I clenched my jaw and warned my traitorous heart to shut up. Even in the midst of being rendered through a meat grinder, the despicable thing stood at attention every time the man came near.
“But I think maybe I should give you some time….” Luke said, looking at me with those eyes that burned through me like a welding torch.
“Yes,” Dee said, “maybe that would be—”
“No.” My voice came out more forceful than I intended, but perhaps the edge in it would warn him away. “There’s no reason to do it another night.”
They both looked at me. I smoothed the ratty mess on my head. “I should talk to Luke. We need to discuss the changes to the plan. The sooner the better, I guess. Might as well do it while he’s already here.”
Dee and Luke exchanged glances.
Dee grabbed my hand as I slid off the bed. “Why don’t you sleep on it tonight and everything will look clearer in the morning.”
I slipped free of her grasp. “No. It’s too late now. It’s already done, and there’s no sense going back. Luke should know.” I turned to look at him. “Why don’t you go sit on the balcony while I wash up, and I’ll be out in a minute?”
He looked at Dee like he was asking her permission. “It’ll be okay this time,” she said. “Just leave the bedroom door open.”
He nodded and Dee stepped out, leaving us alone. I drew my bottom lip between my teeth. “I’ll just be a second.” I scurried to the bathroom before he could respond, shutting the door behind me.
I filled my lungs with a ragged breath, steeling myself to say goodbye to Luke. All this was for the best. It would be better to start fresh somewhere new. I scrubbed my face with cold water, finally removing the dark mascara stains only to replace them with red streaks of irritated skin. I pulled a brush through my tangled hair, considering chopping it off and trying a new color when I started my new life.
I surveyed my reflection. I looked tired, and much older than I should. But it didn’t matter anyway. Enough stalling.
I found Luke out on the balcony, rocking in one of the two white chairs and looking out over the carefully tended lawn. I sat in the other, letting the soft breeze flow over me. The sky sagged with heavy, dark clouds threatening to expel their liquid loads at any moment, but their sinister presence lowered the saturating heat to a nearly-pleasant level.
I glanced at Luke. His gaze fixated on me.
I pulled my knees up to my chest. “Sorry. I know I look awful.”
He lowered his eyes. “Actually, I was wondering how you manage to look more beautiful each time I see you.”
Normally I would have brushed off such a statement as something a man says to get what he wants, but I knew Luke wasn’t the type. His sudden shyness confirmed his sincerity. I didn’t know what to do with that, so I said nothing.
We sat in awkward silence for several more moments, watching the trees sway. Finally, I said, “Looks like we may get a storm.”
“Yeah. Looks like.”
I gathered myself. “Well, I guess you’re wondering what’s going on.”
“I am a bit curious.”
“I’ve decided to put the house and all its contents up for auction. Kristin should have that taken care of today.”
“But I thought…” His voice trailed off. “It’s your decision, Emily. Whatever you want to do.”
The wind scuttled across the yard, sending stray leaves scampering and flowers shuddering. I cut my eyes to his profile and watched a muscle in his jaw twitch. “I can’t stay here, Luke.”
He didn’t respond. He stared at the lawn, his shoulders slumped.
I needed him to understand, yet it felt more like I was trying to convince myself. “It’s time to move on. All of this is just too messy.”
His gaze snapped to
mine. “Life is messy, Emily. That’s just the way it is. You can’t run off every time there is a problem or something is difficult.” His blue eyes shone with an intensity that drilled into my soul. “Some things are worth fighting for.”
I swallowed, unsure if his tone hinted at more than his words declared or if my cross-wired brain made something from nothing. Probably the latter. No, not probably. No doubt at all I’d conjured up my own convoluted desires and inferred something that was never implied. I had to stop this pathetic hope he cared for me beyond the way a preacher cares for everyone, before I found myself deeper in the pit that already threatened to swallow me.
“Emily?”
My breath caught. The way he said my name…. “Yes?”
“Please don’t go. Stay here…with me.”
My stomach knotted. We stared at each other, the only sound in the dropping atmospheric pressure coming from a scurrying pair of squirrels on a nearby pine. I shivered. I didn’t know if it was from the tension of the moment or from the gathering storm. I wanted to look away, but Luke’s eyes held me in a spell. I didn’t know what to say. My heart raced, and for a moment I allowed myself to feel emotions I’d tried to bury.
“Luke….” His name came out heavy, more like a moan than a word, so burdened with the weight of impossibility.
He didn’t answer. His piercing blue eyes seemed to reach deeper into me than I had ever allowed anyone to go. My breath caught.
Small droplets of water peppered the wood planks. Move! My mind screamed. Break this strange spell!
I couldn’t. Thunder rumbled, pulsating through the air and resonating with the tremor that spread through my limbs. Still he stared at me, holding me captive in his gaze, refusing to surrender, refusing to step down from the implications of his simple statement.
A flash of light zipped across the sinister sky, illuminating the swaying trees. Thunder cracked again, vibrating the floor beneath us. In the same instant, the laden cloud overhead emptied its contents, sending a torrent of water to flood the balcony and drench us both.
Luke leapt from his seat and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the shelter of the house. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled the door closed behind us, muffling the sound of the wind.
Heir of Hope: Return to Ironwood Plantation (Ironwood Plantation Family Saga Book 2) Page 21