by Sky Corgan
As my mind raced on past midnight, my desperation for something familiar grew. Though I had told myself that I wouldn't speak to Liam again until after the wedding so as not to cause drama between Jack and me, my need for him was overwhelming. I turned my bedside table light on and reached for my phone, taking a deep breath before I pressed the button that would dial Liam's number.
The phone rang twice before Liam answered, his voice filled with concern. “Melita, what is it? What's happened?”
At first, I was startled by his reaction, but then I remembered the time.
“I just miss you,” I whispered, trying to hide my despair.
“I miss you too. But it's so late; I thought something had happened.”
“I'm sorry. I just needed to hear your voice.”
His tone steadied. “Is it bad there?”
It took everything in me to hide my overwhelming emotions. “It's not bad, just different.”
“I don't think you'd call me at nearly two in the morning for different.”
“The wedding is just stressing me out. There's so much to do and not a whole lot of time.”
“You are the absolute worst liar in the world. Do you know that?”
“I don't want to talk about what's wrong right now. I just want to . . . listen to you breathe, and hear your voice. I have nothing here that reminds me of home. No one to turn to for comfort. I just . . . need you right now.”
“I can be on my way in an hour.”
Family, I reminded myself. You're doing this for your family. You have to stay strong for your family. Everything will work out in the end. It always does.
“I'm sorry to have called you so late. Everything's fine. I just . . . wanted to hear your voice. We should both get to bed. I have another big day tomorrow,” I said solemnly.
“Are you sure you don't need for me to come get you?”
“No. I'll be fine.” I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but even though it was true, it would feel like a betrayal to Jack, so I ended the conversation on a simple goodbye before hanging up and letting my tears carry me away to dreamland.
At eight in the morning, my phone alarm woke me with a start. My flight was set to leave at 10:45 AM and Jack didn't arrive any earlier than needed to load my luggage into the trunk of the limo and be on our way.
The drive was nice and quiet, partly because I was still half asleep and partly because there didn't seem to be anything left to say. It was far too late for me to back out.
“I can't go with you into the airport,” Jack told me as we pulled up to the drop-off area. It was best that the paparazzi didn't know that Jack Kemble was sending his bride-to-be off to some kinky fetish school. The tabloids would have a field day with that information. “I promise that things will be different when you get back. Better. You'll see,” he tried to reassure me.
Before I left the limo, I was given one of Jack's trademark kisses on the side of the mouth, and I could feel a strange sense of intimacy radiating from him, as if at that moment, he considered trying for more. The thought made my heart beat faster, even though I wasn't sure if I wanted him to kiss me full on the lips or not. Part of me felt like he hadn't earned it yet.
The flight to Sacramento was long and exhausting. Thankfully, I was able to sleep through most of it. By the time I arrived at the Sacramento airport, gathered my bags, and was in the limo headed toward Napa Valley, it was already eight o'clock at night. The only thing I had been looking forward to about the entire trip was seeing the Napa Valley wine country, and it was the one thing I was denied. I scowled into the darkness. Oh well, there was always the drive back.
After what felt like forever, the limo finally turned off of the highway and began snaking up a private driveway. We pulled up to a building that appeared to be a small resort. There were no signs on the outside to indicate the type of business, and for a moment, I wondered if I had been driven to the wrong place by mistake. Secretly, I wouldn't have minded. This place certainly looked a lot more inviting than the dingy building I had pictured inside my head.
“Here we are, ma'am,” the driver said as he opened the door for me.
“Where's here?” I asked curiously, looking towards the doors to the resort.
“The Napa Valley Body Awareness Resort.”
Just then, an elderly gentleman in a suit and tie came out to greet me. “You must be Miss Rickard,”
“Yes.” I shook his withered hand gingerly.
“I'm Master Neil. I'll be your instructor for tomorrow, but for now, allow me to show you to your room. You've had a long trip, and I'm sure you're tired. Have you eaten yet?”
“No, sir.”
I allowed Master Neil to take my suitcase, and I followed him into the building and to the front desk where I was required to fill out paperwork.
The sound of the limousine driving away left a pit of sickness in my stomach. Now I was stuck here, for better or worse, for an entire week, with no way to escape.
When I was done with the paperwork, Master Neil showed me to my room, a surprisingly lavish suite on the second floor of the resort. I sighed in relief at the normalcy of it.
“Class will begin promptly at ten o'clock in the morning. I will expect you to be downstairs and ready to participate. You said you have not yet eaten. Please, let me know what I can have our chefs prepare for you.”
“I'll just take a turkey sandwich on wheat,” I replied, still admiring the décor of the room. To be honest, I was too nervous to look Master Neil in the eyes—too afraid that I might see impure intentions behind a courteous facade.
Despite the seemingly normal ambiance of the place, my mind could not forget where I was. Somewhere in this resort, I knew there was a dungeon, just as there was inside of Jack Kemble's mansion. It amazed me how innocent things could look on the outside while harboring such dark secrets within.
Master Neil left, and I sighed in relief, walking into the bedroom and throwing myself down on the plush queen bed. I felt strangely at peace in the room, despite knowing where I was at. It would be my safe haven from all the craziness I would experience in the coming week—the only place I would be able to hide from everything.
It only took twenty minutes for the sandwich to be delivered. I ate it at the small dining room table while looking over a pamphlet for the resort. The Napa Valley Body Awareness Resort, it said on the front, with a picture of the resort in the daytime. It appeared even more beautiful in the light than it had in the darkness, with soft tones of red clay set against the backdrop of rolling hills and grape vines, just as Jack had said it would be. Inside, the pamphlet discussed finding awareness of oneself through sexual experimentation and power play. The resort promised to broaden my horizons.
I couldn't help but smirk at the professionalism of it all. Perhaps Jack had been right. Maybe I had nothing to fear from my stay here. One thing was for certain, I would find out tomorrow.
After lazily consuming my sandwich, I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. Nervous anticipation kept me awake until two in the morning, and I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get a decent night's sleep.
It took everything in me to drag myself out of bed the next morning and get ready. The closer it got to the time I was supposed to go downstairs, the more I wished the school had been in an urban area. At least that way, I could have made a last minute escape. My stomach was all nerves and nausea, twisted too tightly for hunger. I knew I'd probably regret it later, but I decided to skip breakfast and wait until the very last minute to go downstairs to the lobby.
I was surprised to find three other women waiting in the lobby. Two of them were around my age, while the third was slightly older than my mother. They smiled brightly as I sat next to the older woman on the sofa. One of them, a petite blonde, began to speak, but almost as soon as she opened her mouth, Master Neil rounded the corner to greet us.
“Good morning, ladies,” he said with enthusiasm.
“Good morning,” came the small choru
s of polite responses.
“Today we'll begin with a tour. After that, I have a questionnaire that I need you all to fill out. Then I have a video for you to watch before we break for lunch. After lunch, we'll go over the rules of the school and an overview of the classes. At that time, you may ask any questions you have. After the overview, we'll have a lecture until the end of the day,” he explained.
It didn't sound bad at all, and I sighed in relief, thankful that today's curriculum didn't appear to be too bizarre.
“Shall we?” Master Neil gestured towards a hallway that I hadn't noticed the night before.
Without further delay, everyone stood to follow him. The first room Master Neil took us to was a small classroom, barely large enough to fit the sixteen desks that were in it. He explained that we would spend our lecture portion of the course in there. The next room he showed us was the dining room, which looked like a typical resort restaurant. Master Neil informed us that the head chef was available at all times to prepare whatever our hearts desired within healthy limitations. “A healthy body produces a healthy mind,” he added before moving on to show us the fitness center and indoor pool that we were allowed to use during our off time. There was also a laundry facility and day spa on the premises.
The next room he showed us was the one I had been anticipating since arriving, the dreaded dungeon. Inside, the set up was far more impressive than what Jack had in his mansion. I was certain that if there was a device created for restraining someone or inflicting pain on them, it could be found in this room. From a spanking bench to a St. Andrew's Cross, the room was jam-packed with furniture. Manacles hung from the ceiling with chains that ran to the walls where wenches could be used to raise or lower a person. It was a bit extravagant, but I would have expected nothing less from a BDSM school.
“This is our dungeon,” Master Neil explained as if it wasn't obvious. “We'll be doing most of our hands-on training in here.”
The familiar knot twisted itself in my stomach. Hands-on training. That meant they would eventually end up getting physical with me. It was a sickening thought.
The final room he showed us was a small windowless room that only had three chairs and a restraining table in it. For some reason, it made me feel claustrophobic, and I instantly disliked the room.
“Some of you will also get hands-on training in here as well,” Master Neil told us before leading us back to the classroom. “Sit wherever you'd like and begin filling out the questionnaire that's been provided,” he indicated the stacks of papers that were placed on every desk, despite there only being four of us. “I'll return in about an hour to collect them from you and start the video.”
Everyone seemed eager to learn, filling up the front row. I took the seat closest to the door, in case I had thoughts of making my grand escape, not that I actually would. Where could I possibly escape to in the middle of nowhere? Liam. I could always call Liam, I told myself as I stared off into space.
“I'm Mary,” the older lady sitting next to me introduced herself, breaking me from my thoughts.
“Oh, hello. I'm Melita.” I smiled at her, though I knew I had probably failed to make it look genuine. It wasn't that I wasn't happy to meet her; it was just my overwhelming nerves hampering my social skills.
“This is exciting, isn't it?” Her large brown eyes had a sparkle in them.
“I suppose.” I looked back down to my questionnaire, grasping the provided pencil in hand to begin filling it out.
The packet was thick, and as I skimmed through it, I realized that it would, in fact, take an hour to complete. I did my best to stifle an annoyed sigh before jotting my name, age, and the date on the top line. After I had filled out the basics, I scanned down to question number one.
The first page appeared to be all medical related questions. It asked about medical conditions, psychological conditions, any medications that I was taking, and if I was a drug user.
The next page got into the grittier stuff, such as my level of sexual experience and experience with BDSM. I answered “none” to both questions. Then it asked about my level of interest in various activities. The list itself went on for seven pages, and I was certain it encompassed every sexual thing any person on the face of the entire planet had ever come up with. Some were abhorrent, like forced bed wetting and being used as someone's toilet. I was supposed to put a number between zero and five next to each act to indicate how willing I was to try it. Most of the stuff seemed absolutely horrible. Things like asphyxiation and needle play, I knew I would never want to do.
The more I sat there and read the list, the more repulsed I felt. I swear, the first time someone tries to pee on me, I'm calling Liam to come get me and calling off this whole stupid marriage. In a fit of frustration, I zeroed the entire list, not even bothering to go over each item individually. For the rest of the packet, I wrote none, no, or zero wherever the most negative and unwilling responses would go. I did not want to be here, and I planned to make it known.
Having hurriedly completed the questionnaire before the other girls, I simply sat and watched them in my peripheral vision as they finished theirs. They all seemed very attentive to the questions, going over each one carefully. One of the girls, a modelesque brunette, had a smile on her face through the entire thing, and Mary seemed to be writing a paragraph for each question that required a short written response. It took her all the way up until Master Neil returned to finish, and even then I wasn't sure if she had fully completed it.
Quietly, he collected our papers and then went to the wall-mounted TV in the corner of the room to set up a video before leaving again. I looked across the row of seats, hoping that someone would be interested in conversation, but all eyes were glued to the television as the video began to play.
“Welcome to the Napa Valley Body Awareness Resort,” it began with an image of the resort. “We take pride in providing the most professional and intimate body awareness classes in the entire country. Our top of the line establishment is well equipped to train our students in a variety of things, including: domination, submission, bondage, and kink play. Our professional staff will guide you every step of the way, providing you with a comfortable and safe environment to explore your sexuality.”
About fifteen minutes into the video, Master Neil peaked his head inside the door. “Melita, can I see you for a moment?”
The other girls didn't take their eyes off the screen as I slunk out of the classroom, following Master Neil down the hall to a small office. He gestured to one of the two chairs that faced his desk and then quietly closed the door as I took a seat.
“I wanted to talk to you about the answers on your questionnaire,” he began, sliding into the plush black office chair across from me. “You didn't want to come here, did you?”
“No,” I admitted quickly. “My fiancé signed me up for these classes. I have absolutely zero interest in BDSM, as is indicated on my questionnaire.”
A warm smile crossed his aged face, and I could tell that he found the situation amusing. “It appears that Mister Kemble left out that little tidbit during our conversation earlier this week.”
“I'm not surprised. Mister Kemble tends to leave out a lot.”
Master Neil leaned back in his chair, steepling his hands. “I saw on your questionnaire that you have no experience with BDSM, and I know from my conversation with Mister Kemble that you don't have much experience with anything else either. Is that correct, or is that just something that you told him so that he wouldn't send you here?”
This question caught me off guard, and I felt my face flush in unmerited embarrassment because of it. “That is correct. I am a virgin. I didn't just make it up to get out of this.”
“Listen.” Master Neil leaned back again. “I know that this is all new to you, and I know that you're scared. That's natural, especially for someone in your rare, delicate position. You need to understand, though, that we're not here to hurt you or corrupt you. What we're here to do is help enrich
your life.
“Mr. Kemble has given us explicit instructions to start with the very basics. We're not going to just toss you into the middle of the BDSM world and expect you to sink or swim. You have nothing to worry about, I assure you,” his voice sounded genuine, but I still didn't trust it. “I need to know, though, before we begin, that you're willing to actually give this a chance. If you do not give consent, then you shouldn't even be here. I won't force you to stay.”
While leaving sounded incredibly appealing, I had to remember that the happiness of my marriage could potentially be on the line if I did.
“Do you think that this is a good fit for me?” I asked shyly, letting my vulnerability shine through.
A warm smile creased Master Neil's lips. “I think that you're a blank slate, and that makes you a perfect candidate to benefit from the classes we offer.”
It sounded very generic, but I decided to take it as a yes.
“I'll tell you what,” he continued. “Go finish watching the video with the rest of the girls. There are about thirty minutes left. After the video, we're going to break for lunch. Let me know what you want to do then. If you still want to leave, I'll arrange for a limo to come pick you up.”
I nodded, my mind feeling a bit more at ease.
Master Neil escorted me back to the classroom and then took his leave.
“What did he want?” Mary leaned over to whisper.
“He wanted to know if I want to leave.”
“Why would you want to leave?”
“Because I didn't sign up for this. My fiance signed me up for it.”
“Oh.” She paused for a moment. “Well, you should stay. It's going to be a whole lot of fun.”
It was obvious we had a different idea of what fun was.
While my eyes stared at the images on the screen for the next thirty minutes, my mind was worlds away, fighting an epic battle of should I stay or should I go. I went over the list of pros and cons in my head, trying to see which way the scale was tipped.
I sighed, knowing that this just wasn't for me.