Once this sexual storm had spent itself, he could resume his life and no one would be the wiser.
No, he knew better than that. No matter how much he might want to, he couldn’t keep Brittany a secret forever. Time was running out, and pressure was mounting from several different directions. On top of that, it wasn’t fair to her. She deserved better.
That strategy simply wouldn’t work.
He shifted his position. Instantly Brittany’s eyes opened and sought his.
For a long moment their gazes held.
He watched as Brittany licked her lips, leaving them moist with a light sheen. He swallowed hard, staving off the urge to feed his addiction and crush his lips against hers, tasting that sweet nectar once again.
Her words stopped him, a troubled look marring her lovely face. “It’s time for you to go, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
Silence.
“Will I see you again?”
She averted her gaze which told him that question had come hard. He struggled for a decent breath. “I—”
“You don’t have to say anything,” she interrupted. “I already know what the answer is.”
“Then tell me, because I don’t.”
Her eyes widened. “I don’t expect I’ll see you again.”
“Is that what you want?” he rasped.
“No,” she responded in a shaky voice, “but that’s the way it has to be.”
He didn’t say anything, though he knew he was passing up a golden opportunity to end the affair, to put their lives back on the right track. Yet the words wouldn’t come. They jammed in his throat, almost choking him.
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” she whispered, pulling that lower lip between her teeth.
“I didn’t think you would, either.” He paused and drew a harsh breath.
“Then why did you come back?”
“You know the answer to that,” he muttered in a strangled voice.
“So you don’t hate me after all?”
“Hate you? God, no. I never hated you.”
She smiled without humor. “That’s not the way I read it when you left me at the prison.”
He grimaced. “It was just that I was so goddamned shell-shocked.”
“Me, too, but I wouldn’t have turned on you like that.”
He flushed under the gentle reprimand. “I was pissed, too, pissed that Fate had dealt us such a dirty blow.”
“Yet here you are.”
He grazed one soft cheek with a finger, then cleared his throat. “Are you sorry?”
“No,” she whispered. “Just confused.”
He sighed and removed his hand. “So am I.”
Several beats of silence followed his words; then he said, “Tell me about yourself. I want to know everything there is to know about you.”
Suddenly he found that he meant that. He did want to know what had made her the person she was, what was going on inside her head, and not just about him, either, but about everything. While delving into her personal life was another suicidal move on his part, he didn’t care. At the moment, nothing mattered except her and the fact that she was in his arms.
“There’s not a lot to know,” she said in a hesitant tone.
“Oh, I bet there is.”
“I live a pretty dull life, actually.”
“There’s nothing dull about you,” he whispered, rubbing his foot up and down her leg, which sent a current of electricity shooting through him. He knew she felt it, too, because her breath came out in a soft gasp.
“I’d rather hear about you.”
He ignored her. “Was the man who hurt you ever important to you?”
“Absolutely not.”
The conviction in her voice reassured him. “Has there ever been anyone? Maybe what I’m asking is, have you ever been in love?”
“No, I haven’t.”
The idea of another man touching her the way and in the places he’d touched her didn’t bear thinking about. He was glad he didn’t have to.
“What about your parents?”
“My dad died when I was young. A few years later, my mother remarried.”
He felt a slight shudder go through her. “I take it that wasn’t a good move?”
Surprisingly, she was forthcoming, telling him about her stepfather, who was a mean drunk, and how her mother had the responsibility of keeping food on the table and the family together. “My peers had a high old time making me the brunt of their jokes, especially since we were so poor.”
It tore his heart out to think of what she’d had to endure through no fault of her own, especially from that stepfather. “Unfortunately our peers tended to be the cruelest judges of all.”
“How would you know?”
Although her tone held that same gentleness, the hint of another reprimand was there. “You’re right, I don’t,” he admitted, “but that doesn’t keep me from imagining how you must’ve felt.”
“It was awful,” she said in a dull tone.
He leaned over and gave her a quick, hot kiss, their tongues mating for a second. Forced determination made him remove his mouth and resist making love to her again. But while she was willing to talk, he wanted to listen.
“When will you have your degree?”
“One more year, if—” She broke off.
“If what?” he pressed.
She shifted her gaze. “Never mind. It’s not important.”
“If you can hold up under the pressure,” he said, using her chin to turn her face back toward him. “Is that what you were going to say?”
She gave him a surprised look. “Is it that obvious?”
“Two jobs and college. That’s a heavy load for anyone to carry.”
“Well, I have no choice,” she said flatly. “I have obligations.”
He knew her sorry brother figured into those obligations, but he didn’t say that, gathering from her tone that she didn’t want to expand on the subject. And he didn’t want to break the tenuous thread that bound them, so he held his tongue.
“What about you?”
Her turning the tables caught him momentarily off guard. Talking about himself had never been easy, but, in all fairness, he couldn’t expect to have it all his way.
“I’m a workaholic,” he said in a light tone.
“I bet you’re a crackerjack attorney.”
His lips twitched. “What makes you think that?”
She answered with a question. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Some people must think so,” he admitted modestly, “since I’m in the top two being considered for a federal judgeship.”
Her eyes got bigger. “That sounds like an awesome responsibility.”
“Trust me, it is. I lie awake night after night and ask myself if I’m up to the task. The thought of holding someone’s life in my hands is mind-numbing.”
“The fact that you feel that way means you’ll do well.”
Her confidence made him feel good. “I hope so, but I haven’t gotten it yet. I have stiff competition, plus I’m working on a controversial case, which isn’t to my benefit.” When she held her silence, he touched on the sexual harassment suit.
“You’ll do fine,” she stressed with that same easy confidence.
“We’ll see,” Collier responded on a heavy note.
Another silence ensued, during which his mind continued to churn. He should go. He was due in court, and time was running out. Even though they had talked, where they went from here hadn’t been settled.
“I wish Tommy had had a lawyer with your values.”
Once she’d spoken her brother’s name, he felt her stiffen, as if waiting for the explosion she was sure would follow. “You love your brother, and I love mine. And though we are definitely on different sides of the fence, I don’t want it to come between us.”
“But it is between us, Collier. You have to know that Tommy’s the reason why I’m working myself to the bone. He got a raw deal
, and I’m determined to get him a new lawyer and prove it.”
“Brittany, don’t go there,” he said in a voice filled with agony.
“I have to. I know you don’t believe it, but Tommy was set up. I’m convinced of that, and I intend to prove it.”
Before he could interject, she went on and told him Tommy’s side, about how someone had put a narcotic in his drink, which hadn’t taken full effect until after he’d gotten behind the wheel.
Collier once again held his tongue, unwilling to enter into a verbal slanging match with her and drive the wedge deeper between them. Of course she would side with her brother. Most sisters would. And while he didn’t hold her allegiance to Tommy against her, he didn’t believe that garbage her brother had fed her, not for one minute.
She wouldn’t lie. But Tommy would—and did.
“So now that the line has been drawn in the sand,” she whispered, her voice quivering, “where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know,” he responded, that old desperate feeling clawing at his gut. “All I care about now is how good I feel when I’m inside you.”
“Oh, Collier,” she whispered, circling his neck and bringing his lips to hers.
That was when he tasted her tears.
Twenty-Six
Rupert reached for the bottle in the seat beside him and took another swig. When the strong booze hit his stomach, it burned for the first time ever. He frowned, hoping he wasn’t getting an ulcer.
He knew he should stop drinking so much, but with so many things going wrong in his life right now, liquor was his comfort, especially when he sat outside Brittany’s trailer. And watched. It was such a cold, lonely and boring endeavor, yet he couldn’t make himself stay away. He admitted it bordered on the sick side, but he didn’t care. Besides, what he did was his own business, including this kinky pastime.
Until the other night, when he’d seen the fancy Lexus parked close by, he’d been certain Brittany had no man in her life. Now he wasn’t certain at all.
That same Lexus was back, and this time it was parked right in front of Brittany’s trailer.
Who the hell was her mystery lover? Who was getting the nooky that belonged to him? That was the big question. The thought of anyone else infringing on his territory made him see red. He wasn’t budging until he saw the guy. Neither was he going to fall asleep, as he had last time.
With daylight approaching, her visitor was bound to leave soon. Rupert didn’t know the exact time, and he didn’t want to take the chance of turning on the light for fear he would be seen—which was ludicrous, of course. Who in this shabby mobile home park gave a shit about an extra car parked on the street?
No one, he assured himself. Still, he didn’t do anything to call attention to himself. Thank goodness it was chilly but not cold. Most times he only sat for an hour or so and that was all. Tonight, however, he intended to remain for the duration.
A belch escaped while he loosened his tie and unbuttoned his coat. Thank goodness Angel was out of town on one of her church retreats. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have the luxury of staying here. He could have told her he was away for the night on business, and she wouldn’t have questioned that. But if he was accidentally seen, then it could cost him. He wasn’t ready to chance that.
If he could just dump Angel’s narrow-minded ass, a big part of his problem would be solved. One of these days, he swore, he would. First, though, he had to find a way to sneak more money out of the business and hide it. So far, he’d done a damn good job of that and no one had been the wiser. Still, he didn’t quite have the funds to retire on and keep Brittany and himself in the style he wanted.
Too, he’d promised to hire an attorney for that sorry brother of Brittany’s, something else that would take money, more than normal, because it was going to have to be on the sly. Angel must never find out about that, either.
And he couldn’t forget about his obligation to Travis Wainwright. He had to get that appointment to the bench, and that meant adding even more funds to the Republican party coffer. At least that was something Angel didn’t mind.
Ordinarily he wouldn’t have given a shit who got that federal appointment, but since Mason Williams’ boy wanted it, he had no choice but to get involved. Anytime the opportunity presented itself to battle Mason, he took it.
The way it was looking now, Travis had a strong chance of being named. To date, Rupert hadn’t had to do anything underhanded, although that remained an open option. If it looked like the committee was going to openly recommend Collier Smith, he would make his move. Until then, he’d just keep pressure on Riley, reminding him of how much money he’d given his campaign.
Suddenly tired of his thoughts and tired of waiting, Rupert eased his head back against the seat, promising himself he would only close his eyes for a few minutes. Later, he didn’t know what awakened him. Maybe it was the porch light that suddenly came on in the mobile home adjacent to his vehicle. He would never know, but it didn’t matter. Whatever the reason, he was grateful.
Because it was shortly thereafter that the door to Brittany’s trailer opened and her guest walked out. At first Rupert was so stunned he was certain he was hallucinating, that the booze was messing with his mind again.
Because he was looking straight at Collier Smith.
Rupert blinked several times to clear his vision. Nothing changed. The upstart stepson of Mason Williams strode to the Lexus, climbed behind the wheel, cranked the engine, then drove off into the silence.
Dumbfounded and livid, Rupert gripped the steering wheel until he heard his knuckles pop.
He vowed Collier Smith would pay for this. And dearly, too.
“Daddy’s gone,” Lana said, a sultry edge to her voice. “So we have the entire house to ourselves—except for the servants, of course. And, as you know, they will disappear on command.”
Collier leaned over and grazed Lana’s cheek with his lips, then stepped back. He hadn’t wanted to join her for the evening, but since it was imperative that he talk to her, he’d accepted her invitation. However, he dreaded every second that was to follow.
“Is that all?” Her smile turned into a pout.
Collier frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Just a peck on the cheek. Is that all?” she asked again, eyeing him with a glint.
He felt his face heat. “Sorry.”
“No, you’re not, but you will be if you don’t make it up to me.”
“Lana—”
“It’s all right, darling, I’m willing to cut you some slack. I’m sure you’ve had a rough day in court. After you’ve had a drink or two, you’ll be in the mood.” She smiled and winked. “And the drinks are ready and waiting.”
Somehow Collier managed to get through the cocktails and dinner. When Lana wanted to, she could be something other than the social butterfly who flitted from one meaningless function to the other. In reality, she was extremely intelligent. That was one reason he’d been attracted to her.
Lately, though, it seemed nothing was important to her but superficial things. She had changed. Or perhaps he was the one who had changed. Brittany had changed him.
Once coffee was served in the parlor, Lana took a sip of hers, then cut her eyes toward him. “You didn’t eat much dinner. Was something wrong?”
“Absolutely not. The pork tenderloin was perfect.”
She scrutinized him. “As a matter of fact, you look like you’ve lost weight.” She paused and tilted her head. “Of course, I haven’t seen you without your clothes in so long, I can’t say for sure.”
If she intended for her barb to hit its mark, it did. Only he didn’t let on. He steeled himself not to show any emotion. He’d come on a mission, and he wasn’t about to be sidetracked.
“No comment, huh?” she said, reaching for her cup again, then staring at him over the rim.
“We need to talk.”
“You might, but I don’t,” she snapped. “Unless it’s to set a weddi
ng date.”
“That’s why I’m here.”
Lana’s eyes widened. “You mean—”
Damn, he was messing this up. He had known talking to her was going to be difficult; he just hadn’t known how difficult. He wished he could tell her the truth, but he couldn’t. That just wasn’t possible.
“No, that’s not why I’m here.”
Her face tensed. “So you’re still not prepared to set a wedding date?”
“I don’t love you, Lana.”
Finally. He’d been wanting to tell her that for weeks now, ever since he’d met Brittany. In all fairness to Lana, this conversation was long overdue, but he’d been such a mess emotionally, it was as if his life hadn’t been his own.
She shrugged. “I don’t care.”
He gave a start, and his eyes narrowed. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means exactly what I said.” Lana shrugged again. “It’s not important to me whether you love me or not.”
Collier’s mind was reeling. “That’s crazy.”
“To you, maybe, but not to me,” she responded in a matter-of-fact tone.
He bounded off the sofa and walked to the window. He hadn’t known what to expect when he’d delivered what he considered to be the deathblow to their relationship, severing it completely, but it certainly hadn’t been this reaction.
“I’ll marry you anyway.”
Letting go an expletive, Collier swung around. “You don’t mean that.”
“Sure I do.” She paused and licked her red lips. “Just out of curiosity, is it another woman?”
He averted his gaze, unprepared to unburden his soul to her or anyone else. But he had come to grips with the reality that he wasn’t going to stay away from Brittany, couldn’t stay away. That was why he had to end his relationship with Lana, so she could move on without him.
“It’s okay if you have someone else on the side.”
Collier opened his mouth, then slammed it shut. He knew Lana could be a cold bitch, but in his estimation, this went way beyond that.
“It’s not okay with me.”
“Look, Collier, after we’re married if you want to have flings on the side, as long as you’re discreet, I don’t mind. Truly I don’t.”
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