I popped my pill and headed downtown. I pulled into my usual parking space and headed in the side staff door. At least today we are filming in my territory. Seeing Jax dressed in a suit and baby blue tie took me back to the first night we met, and when he slipped on the black mask I was hit with dejavu.
The way his eyes stood out sent shivers all through me, this day would be intense. The director took notice of my arrival and began to brief me on what they expected from me today.
They wanted to play off the usual atmosphere of the club and to perform my normal burlesque dance on stage. Then we were going to do different takes of me doing lap dances for Jax and a few extras they hired for the video. The stylist dressed me in a lacey red bustier with matching lace boy shorts, black fishnets, red stilettos, black feather boa and of course a red feathered masquerade mask. She left my hair down and kept my makeup simple with red lipstick.
By the way Jaxson was trying not to stare at me. He more than liked what he was seeing and I wondered if he too was thinking back to the night we first met. While they finished setting up all the cameras and adjusting the lighting they had me listen to his song, since it was what I would be dancing to. When I heard the lyrics I wondered who had hurt him so badly.
Lie To Me
You spread your love like a fire babe
You do it so easily
Three little words couldn’t mean less
Cut me a little deeper babe
Burn me a little hotter now
Just say the words and
Lie to me
Oh yeah babe
Lie to me
Lie to me
You give it all away
So willingly
You spread your love like a fire babe
You do it so easily
Three little words couldn’t mean less
Cut me a little deeper babe
Burn me a little hotter now
Just say the words and Lie to me
This didn’t sound like country music; there was more a bluesy rock sound to it. I took my place on stage like I would any night I worked. I have to admit it was a little awkward at first having all those cameras pointed at me, so I focused all of my thoughts and energy to Jaxson and performed as if he and I were the only two people in the room.
The music stopped and the director yelled cut. I swear you could have heard a pin drop and I think I saw a few of the crew members adjust themselves.
“Okay that was really hot let's take five while we reposition the cameras,” the director called out.
I stepped off stage and took a seat near Jaxson.
“Darlin I think you just gave the entire crew hard ones, including myself. This is torture, I may have to cancel my interview and take you straight to a hotel like five minutes ago,” he whispered gently in my ear.
“Sorry sweet cheeks I am on the clock and I don’t think my boss would be very happy if I skipped out early.”
“All right I think everyone’s cooled off let’s get back to work,” the director called looking amused.
Ritchie didn’t want the crew filming the private dance rooms so they made a makeshift half booth in the center of the stage and had me give lap dances to the three extras leaving Jaxson for last. The lap dance I gave him was very steamy, I wanted to take him right there in front of everyone and the bulge in his pants told me he was on the verge of losing it.
“Damn it, Gracie I can’t handle this much longer, I may take you in bathroom as soon as he calls cut.”
The director instructs Jaxson to rip my mask off. He instructs me to follow doing the same with his and to grab his face and kiss him. Oh boy I thought my panties were going to drop as soon as his lips met mine.
“Cut that’s a wrap.” the director yelled.
“Gracie, if you move off my lap right now everyone is going to see the major hard one you have caused, and I don’t need to warn you that if that happens I will have to discipline you,” Jax murmured to me.
“Well in that case, please excuse me, I need to change,” I teased pretending like I was going to get up. But instead I stay seated on his lap and bend completely forward. I removed my heels causing my ass to push down on the prominence in his pants.
“Fuck! Gracie, you just made me come, as soon as were through here you’ve had it,” he warns.
My inner kitten is doing cart wheels all over the stage. The crew began clearing their equipment and I escaped to the back of the club to change. It wasn’t long before Jaxson was hot on my heels.
“I have a private suite at the Hilton lover, Raymond is waiting in the side alley for us get a move on and bring the masks.”
Chapter Nine
Revelations….
I didn’t waste any time changing my clothes and hauling my ass to the car. I could fit five of my apartment in his suite it was humongous.
“If we’re swift darlin, I can make it to my interview and be back here with you for round two before dinner,” his eyes shone with arousal.
I took him by surprise and unzipped his pants, taking his length in my hands; I bent down and licked him from base to tip before taking him in my mouth completely. Just as Jaxson was about to bend me over the dining table, Sadie let herself into the room.
You have got to be fucking kidding me! I wanted to scream.
Two thoughts crossed my mind. For one I was pissed we were interrupted and two why in the hell does she have a key to his private suite?
“Sadie you have always had the worst fucking timing you know that?” Jax snapped at her pulling up his pants.
“Did you forget about our interview? I was waiting for you in front of that hooker club you’re so fond of, when I saw your car coming out the side alley. So I followed you here. How careless Jaxson, if I was able to trail you two, who else was?”
I go into the bedroom to give them a moment and let my kitten retract her claws. Hooker club? I thought he had only come to Masquerade the weekend I met him? Something else I will need to ask about later.
“I don’t have a problem with you getting off, but don’t forget you have an obligation to me and yourself for that matter, before anything or anyone else.” Princess Sadie was losing her temper, score one for my kitten.
“Can you give us a minute?” he asked her.
“I’ll be in the hall, don’t keep me waiting too long. You will not fuck this tour up for me Jaxson!” She warned.
Royally Pissed!
“Sorry, Sadie is still pissed about Saturday. She doesn’t like the rumors. She thinks it makes her look bad if we appear anything less than a united front.” He tries to kiss me but I am still pissed off.
“Will you be here when I get back? I’m so not finished with you.”
I’d be here all right, I wanted some answers. But do I have a right to ask them of him? I took a shower and ordered some room service while listening to Blackened Sunrise’s interview. I thought I was going to hit the floor when I heard the DJ ask them if there were any wedding bells in the future, but Jaxson laid that shit to rest real fast, before Sadie could get any ideas.
“Nah man, right now I just want to focus on my music, I’m in no hurry to put a ring on anyone’s finger. After this tour I will be exploring different styles with my music, I am ready to start working on more solo projects.”
The rest of the interview was light and the rest of the questions were strictly about his new album and the tour.
I sat there waiting for him for another two hours. I was pissed and ready to leave. Not even a text to say he was running behind. I was waiting for the elevator when he stepped off, and not happy to see I was getting on.
“You are going somewhere Grace?” He asked in a very neutral tone.
I didn’t want to fight but this Sadie shit was going to be clearly defined tonight if he wanted me in his life. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I followed him back to his suite and gave him the opportunity to explain.
“Gracie I would have been back a lot sooner but S
adie said the label thought it would be good if we were seen having dinner together. I wanted to call you but my phone died. I’ll show you it to you, if you want me to.”
“I don’t need to see your phone, Jax though it’s sweet that you would want to. I know your career comes first and I would never ask you to put me before your music, but this whole deal with Sadie.” I stare off feeling guilty for being so jealous.
“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this, I don’t like to share. And the way she just barged in here earlier without even knocking I didn’t like it. I know I’m not your girlfriend but if whatever this is ever has a chance at going further you will have to put that bitch on a leash.”
“There is absolutely no reason for you to be jealous of Sadie. I haven’t been with her in months. But let’s get a few things straight. I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now. But if you become my girl and I am hoping one day you will want to be if this works out. My music is important but you will be first for me always. But you can’t act like a stubborn child every time your feelings get hurt.” He places his hands on my shoulders as if he is about to shake some sense into me.
“If you leave I will not chase you. And as far as Sadie goes my lawyers have been trying to find a way out of the contract for some time, but so far they haven’t found anything. So for now I have to keep her happy, but I will only let her push things so far. And I took my key back from her tonight; I forgot she even had one. So can we be done with this I’ve been ready to fuck you all damn day!”
Fuck Me!
My kitten was glowing. Jaxson had told me he wanted me to be his girl. I pulled the masks from my bag and lost all train of thought, until Jax passed out from exhaustion.
There was something gnawing at the back of my mind though. Jaxson had been honest with me and I have been too up to a point. I want so badly to tell him everything about me, the real me. All about my past with Evan, but I’m so scared he will never look at me the same and that I will be delivering him wrapped neatly in a perfect package to Sadie. It’s so easy to pretend with him that I’m not the girl I turned into these past two years.
I would have loved nothing more than to stay holed up in his suite with him forever. Especially after the night we just shared, but I didn’t bring any more speed with me and I was going to be sick soon, if I didn’t get home. I tried to sneak out of bed without waking Jax, but as soon as my feet touched the floor he was pulling me back in bed.
“Don’t go yet lover, I haven’t finished with you,” he groaned tracing my jaw down to my neck with his fingers.
“I want to stay, but I need to get my car before it gets towed, hard telling how many tickets I’ve received. And don’t you have some charity thing?”
“Yea but, I want to ask you something before you go, and I don’t need an answer now. How would you feel about coming on the road with me some?”
I was not expecting him to ask me that.
“You hardly know me, and I have a job. Besides wouldn’t Sadie be really pissed if I were hanging around all the time?” (Not that I cared)
“You would get sick of me. Not to mention, wouldn’t we need to be very careful?” It’s not like I wouldn’t love to travel and see him perform.
“Just think about it. Sadie has her own bus, and she has enough to entertain her on the road. She has fucked half of our band and I am sure she will do so again.”
“I’m not saying no, but it’s not a yes either. Ha, really half of the band? I would never have thought her the type,” I giggled.
“Get out of here before I give away all of my secrets,” he laughed smacking me with a pillow.
Tomorrow I will be back in the real world, back to work and I needed to crack down on getting the costumes ordered if they were going to be ready by Halloween. Jaxson has given me a lot to think about and I need to find a way to reveal my past to him. But I just don’t know how, not yet anyways. Thankfully my car was okay and I had only gotten a fifty dollar ticket. I was feeling anxious and the familiar wave of nausea was sweeping through me.
I need to balance my check book and pay the bills I have been putting off but I have so much going on in my head. I am on the edge of falling in love with Jax and part of me thinks he is falling just as hard. I didn’t expect to develop feelings so quickly after Evan, and I don’t know if I deserve to.
The selfish part of me wants to grab onto Jax and never let go, but there’s that voice in the back of my head telling me he doesn’t truly know the real me. We are still practically strangers. I would love to go on tour with him and leave Nashville behind but running from my problems won’t make them go away, it can only make things worse.
Damn I’m a head case.
I am out of pills and there’s no way I am calling Evan, even though the demon on my shoulder is screaming just one more time Grace. I find my resolve and dip a little coke on my pinkie and lick it, at least I didn’t snort it this time.
My So-Called Real Life….
I send a text Reggie to see if she has gotten all the girls sizes, so we can get down to business at lunch. Reggie and I accomplished a lot over lunch; we were able to order almost all the costumes online. We would only have to pick up a few accessories and makeup. Reggie volunteered to pick it up since she would be doing everyone’s make up. I received a phone call from the last person I expected to hear from, Sadie.
She was actually polite which should have sent off warning bells, but I agreed to have dinner with her on Sunday night. Work was slow so I got to indulge in some intense sexting with Jax and catch up with Jocelyn in between. I had so much to tell her as she did me.
Robert wants to work on things with her. I am genuinely happy for her. I definitely don’t agree with being the other woman, but sometimes you just can’t help who you love even if it’s wrong.
Who am I to judge when I am currently hiding mine and Jax’s relationship. And with that thought, I was reminded of Evan. Why does my life have to be so complicated? I closed that chapter in my life or so I thought I had. But just when I think I am okay he seems to pop up in my head and my heart.
Most people would probably seek therapy after going through what Evan and I did, but I don’t need to pay anyone to tell me how fucked up my life is. I can do that all on my own.
Jocelyn is a hopeless romantic so of course she thinks I should run off on tour with Jax. The idea was sounding all too good. She has told me numerous times to leave Evan alone, but I am never one to take anyone’s advice.
I wasn’t going to be able to see Jaxson the next few days, he had to put in time in the studio and approve the final editing of the video. It is scheduled to be released next week I am excited and nervous to see it. I told him about my dinner plans with Sadie and he actually thought it would be good for us to spend some time together, in case, I did decide to join them on the road.
Hell, he was probably behind the whole thing trying to make peace between the women in his life. I can’t blame him though; he has two girls without all the perks. Or at least I hope I’m the only one he has perks with.
Chapter Ten
Little Lies….
Saturday came and I have to admit I felt a little neglected by Jax. I know he is working, but I couldn’t help feeling envious when I saw pictures of him and Sadie looking a little too cozy in the studio online.
My demon takes over and I find myself rushing to the lake to meet Evan to score more dope. I was doing so well up until this point. I have been breaking out in sweats less and less often, my moods are getting better too, but the nausea won’t seem to go away. My eating habits haven’t gotten any better either. I think I’ve dropped a whole pants size in the past two weeks.
Most girls wouldn’t complain about dropping weight, but I could actually stand to gain a good fifteen pounds easy. If only I wasn’t so damned tired all the time, I would be feeling pretty good. Maybe I should start taking some kind of supplement or multi-vitamins.
I hadn’t talked to Evan or seen him sinc
e the night he jumped up on stage. So to say I was a bit uneasy to see him would be putting it mildly. When I get to our usual spot Evan is out in the water and smiling, flashing his wicked dimples at me.
“Join me for a swim.” He called out to me.
“No swimsuit.”
“Never has stopped you before, and besides it isn’t like I haven’t seen you naked before.”
Against my better judgment I thought what the hell and I gave Evan a little strip tease and joined him in the water. The water is slightly chilly, but the rush is magnificent. Evan takes me in his arms and it feels so natural, even after everything he has done. I don’t have to hide my true self from him. He accepts me. I don’t know what I am doing but he has this hold on me.
I let things go too far and end up having splendid sex with Evan in the lake. There is no one around for miles to see us or care. I feel so free in this moment. And then he has to ruin it by speaking.
“Look angel about the other night, I came to warn you.”
“Warn me! About what exactly?”
“That guy, Jaxson. Grace he’s bad news. And when I say bad babe, I mean really bad.” I had never seen Evan look so serious about anything. I suddenly felt very cold. Was he telling the truth or was he trying to get rid of the competition?
“I am a big girl Evan I can take care of myself and what would you know about him anyhow?”
“For starters I have seen him around in bars, he likes to hit’em and quit’em. You’re not the first video model he has dated either. I am just saying be careful. I worry about you.”
I don’t like where this conversation is headed. I don’t need this shit on top of everything else I am dealing with. I start making my way back towards the shore line.
“Don’t leave; I am so tired of watching you walk away from me.” He hooks his big muscular arms around my waist and pulls me back into the water with him.
“Evan, I can’t do this with you. Not right now.”
Beautiful Strangers (The Masquerade Series) Page 6