by Weil, J. L.
For once, he didn’t follow me. It was the smartest thing he’d done since becoming my warden.
Chapter 17
I refused to speak to Zavier. Not since I barricaded myself in my room.
Hands shaking, I folded my arms and paced the length of the floor. I couldn’t believe I had trusted him, let him into my life, into my bed. He had made a fool of me, and I was no one’s fool.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I slammed my fist against the wall, not caring about hurting myself. I was already in pain. There were no limits to my anger. There was this tear inside me, and each breath I took, it ripped a bit more, a hole I wasn’t sure could ever be filled.
I’d left the terrace window open and the wind whipped through my bedroom, flames in the hearth jumping in rage, licking the brick surrounding the fireplace as magic trembled in the air.
My chest spasmed as I thought of us in the throes of passion, him kissing my neck, touching my body, leaving me trembling.
I dropped down to the edge of the bed, letting my head fall into my hands. Was he punishing me? Was it all an act to get close to me? And I had been putty in his hands. His secrets had been so much bigger and worse than I ever imagined.
My head hurt thinking about it. He had known how I’d felt about the Berkano vampires and vampires in general. He had known what they’d done to my mother. It didn’t matter he was only half a bloodsucker, what mattered most was he had deceived me.
There were so many lies that the truth was covered in a tangle of webs. His explanations meant nothing. His reasonings were shot to shit, not that I had given him the opportunity to explain himself, but in my current state, I wasn’t calm enough to listen.
Dazed, I stripped out of the dress, dropping it into the hearth. The fabric quickly caught fire, setting the room aglow as the ferocious flames hungrily ate the silky material.
I didn’t sleep.
How could I when my mind and body were so torn up? I blew off the coven meeting, unable to move. My eyes open, I stared into the darkness, not really seeing anything. The only real thing was the pain in my chest that doubled with each heartbeat.
Angry tears burned at the back of my throat, a familiar feeling I’d avoided for years, since the death of my parents. It overtook me, and before I could stop them, tears were falling down my cheeks in messy streaks.
Oh, God. I was crying over Zavier, breaking a promise I’d made to myself, and I hated it. Hated that I cared more than I wanted to admit. I had allowed myself to fall in love. Bastard.
* * *
A knock sounded on the door, and I groaned. Everything hurt—bones, tissues, and muscles. I rolled out of bed. “Who is it?” I asked, my voice dull and monotone. The last thing I wanted was company.
“Open up, Sky.”
Colin. Of course he would send my brother. I stood on wobbly legs, and waved my hand in the air. The lock gave a click, and Colin walked in. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Cut the sarcasm,” he snapped. “What the hell is going on with you? Why have you shut yourself up in this room, and don’t give me any lies. It’s been two days since the attack.”
A hysterical laugh escaped. “Oh, that’s rich. Me. Lie. If you want the truth, talk to Zavier.”
“I’m running on little sleep, I haven’t eaten in two days, so I don’t have time to play peacemaker between the two of you. Whatever asshat thing he has done, get over it. Or stop sleeping with every guard I assign you.”
I recoiled as if he’d slapped me. My outrage was quickly replaced with heat. “Now who is the asshat?” I refused to cry. There was no way in hell I was going to shed a single tear over Zavier Cross.
Colin ran a hand over his scruffy face. “Shit. I’m sorry, Sky. I didn’t mean to lash out at you. These last few days are starting to take a toll on me. Every time we’ve got a handle on the situation, we get smacked in the face with three more problems. It feels as if it is never going to end and only gets worse. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t know how to keep us safe, and our control is slipping.”
These were all things I didn’t want to hear, but I couldn’t hide from what was to come forever. Each day, each hour, each second I did hide away, things only escalated. The Berkano vampires were closing in, gathering what they needed and building their ranks. And here I was, sitting in my room, ranting over a broken heart. There were bigger obstacles that needed my attention. I had let Zavier distract me from my task, even if only for a few days. And now knowing he was part of the problem and could be working for the other side, I had a decision to make. And I needed to make it now.
“Zavier is a vampire,” I blurted out, wringing my fingers.
Colin’s head whipped up so fast his face blurred. “What did you just say?”
“The warden you assigned to me, the one who is your friend, he is a Bitten.”
“Half,” said a dark voice from the doorway. Zavier. “She found out,” he said to Colin, leaning a shoulder against the frame.
I wanted to hurl a bolt of fire and incinerate Zavier on the spot. Then his words penetrated the haze of red that had suddenly taken over at the sight of him. My eyes slanted, volleying between Colin and Zavier. “You knew!” I flung at Colin.
My brother’s lips thinned. “Considering how you feel about vampires, I thought it was best he not tell you.”
“You decided. But you never thought to tell me,” I snapped.
“It wasn’t a decision I made lightly, but yes, it was for your safety,” Colin explained, but I was having none of it.
The candles in the room began to flicker as the energy in the air thickened. “I’m so sick of hearing those words.”
Colin’s eyes darkened as they did when he held his power strong and steady. My brother was letting me know not to challenge him. “You needed a guard who could keep a better eye on you. Don’t think I don’t know about your late-night meetings with the other witches. You have a coven you never told me about,” he hurled. We had both kept secrets.
I shot a glare at Zavier, accusation flaring in my eyes and little sparks of magic dancing over my skin. “You told him.”
Zavier hadn’t budged from his lazy position of leaning on the doorframe. “I didn’t have to tell him anything. He already knew.”
Argh. I was fuming—at them both.
“Zavier has the necessary skills to look out for you,” Colin justified.
I hated being ganged up on. “Was it also part of your plan to have him seduce me?”
“He seduced you?” Colin’s narrow gaze moved from my face to Zavier.
Finally, his anger was directed at the proper target, but I waved a hand in the air, dismissing the claim. Zavier hadn’t done anything I hadn’t wanted to do. “It doesn’t matter. You lied to me. Both of you lied to me. I can’t fathom what you were thinking assigning him as my warden. Why?”
Colin sighed, and I could see in his eyes that he only wanted what was best for me. “I thought keeping the truth from you was better than you knowing Zavier was part vampire. Your impression of them is jaded, regardless that not every vampire is a killer. Zavier wasn’t even raised by vampires. He was outcasted, and has no loyalty to Lilith.”
The mention of her name sent a hot haze of hatred through me, blurring my vision. What had been done was done. Even if Colin realized his mistake, there was no going back, and for now, I only wanted to be alone.
My hand flung out, and the door to my room catapulted open. The windows began to shake, and the floorboards under my feet trembled. I was quickly losing my hold on my temper. “Get. Out. Both of you.”
“Skylar,” Colin pleaded. When I didn’t budge, he shook his head. “Fine. Go ahead and sulk in your room.” He swept out in hurried strides.
Zavier stepped further into my space, his brows furrowing as if he wanted to say something more.
The shock and hurt had worn off, and I’d moved straight into pissed off. He had about two seconds to walk out that door before I did something I mi
ght later regret. I wasn’t thinking clearly, rage consuming my every thought.
“Regardless of what you’re feeling, it won’t stop me from doing my job. You’re still under my protection.” Shaking his head, Zavier turned and left.
On a moment derived of pure raw emotion, I flicked my wrist, the door slamming shut behind him, followed by the click of a lock.
“Funny. You know a lock won’t keep me out,” Zavier said from the other side of the door.
I lost it, letting out a scream of frustration. My white-hot desire for retribution increased tenfold, and nothing was going to stop me, certainly not Zavier Cross.
Chapter 18
Flames crackled in the grate as I lay on the bed. The next few days blurred together. I rarely slept. And it was catching up to me, but I was avoiding more than the half-vampire in the next room.
I wasn’t strong enough to deal with Lilith’s invasion into my subconscious, not when I was so turned up inside, but I could only put off the inevitable for so long.
Exhaustion got the best of me. I closed my eyes, dreaming of a cave with gold floors and sparkling jewels scattered in the stone. The one place I wanted to evade.
Lilith sat on an obsidian throne, staring at all those jewels, her dark beauty unearthly and fearsome.
Beyond the walls, screams echoed in pain and torture, crying out for help. Fear feathered down my spine. There were other sounds. Moans of pleasure. The air was hot with the stench of metal, lust, and death.
And the cave walls ran with blood.
It was the sensation of strong arms pulling me into a warm embrace that woke me from the confusing nightmare. Trembles racked my body as I struggled to banish the sounds and images from my head.
“Shh, Sky,” Zavier murmured, a soft hand stroking down my hair. “She can’t touch you now.”
“What are you doing in here?” I choked out. I hadn’t forgotten I was still furious at him, regardless how amazing it felt to be held in his arms. The shakes began to reside, and my hand clutched at him as I struggled to regain control of myself.
He shifted on the bed, brushing aside the sweat-drenched sheet, and my arms tugged him back down. I didn’t want him, but I didn’t want him to leave.
What a quandary I was in. When he settled beside me, I sighed, resting my head on his bare chest. I couldn’t deny he enticed a feeling of being protected I needed. Tomorrow, I might be kicking myself for the moment of weakness, but for tonight, I was going to find peace. I’d seen too much death. “She won’t stop looking for me,” I whispered.
“No, she won’t,” he murmured. “But you’re safe.”
“Am I?” I concluded that maybe I trusted the warden more than I hated his guts. I’d been unable to stop the magnetic pull to him. I didn’t understand it—the connection I felt to him. My brain wanted to despise the vampire, but my heart wanted to tangle itself more and more with the man.
I knew I couldn’t have one without the other.
He pressed a kiss on the top of my head. “I swear to you, Skylar, I would never do anything to hurt you.”
It was lunacy…but I believed him, even when I didn’t want to. I was being hunted by a power-hungry vampire, yet the only time I felt safe was when I was with Zavier. It irritated me, knowing I relied on him. I didn’t need anyone, let alone a half-vampire.
And yet, my body ached to be close to his.
I had to put a stop to this. “I’m okay,” I said, pulling out of his arms, regardless how empty I was without them. “You don’t need to stay and babysit me.”
Those dark brows shot up. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
A flare of anger speared through me, and I concentrated on that emotion, refusing the others from surfacing—the softer more dangerous feelings. “Just because we slept together once doesn’t mean I care about you. It was nothing—a meaningless one-night stand.” Lie after lie spewed from my lips. If I said it with enough conviction and anger, maybe I could make it true.
“Bullshit. Do you want me to prove what a liar you are?” he rasped. Without warning, I found myself flat on my back, with Zavier pressed on top of me.
My bones melted at the feel of his delicious body pinning me to the mattress, but I jutted my chin out in defiance. “It takes a liar to know one. You think I would let you touch me now that I know what you are?”
Hurt and anger flashed in his eyes, but turned quickly hard and cold as the deep sea, again hiding the truth from me. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for shallow.”
Now it was my turn to be hurt, but he was right. I wasn’t that kind of person…normally. It was just he was associated with the very beings I grew up loathing—the one who hunted me. Yet to be fair, he couldn’t control his birthright any more than I could control mine. It was biased of me to judge him for it, but the bastard had lied to me, deceived me, used me. My feelings no longer mattered. “We had sex. End of story.”
Angling his head to the side, he extended the fangs he had kept hidden from me. He leaned toward me, and the flash of fangs touched on my skin, drifting over the pulse hammering at the base of my throat, but I refused to yield. My hands curled into fists at my side, and I squeezed my eyes closed.
Shit.
Bad idea.
With my eyes shut, I relied on my other senses, all jumping to life under Zavier’s hypnotic caress. The sound of his quick breathing. The fresh waterfall scent that clung to his skin, permeating the air around him. The seductive thrill left behind on my neck as his fangs and tongue took turns teasing the beating vein.
“I’ve longed to taste the rich nectar of your blood. I shouldn’t crave it, but it doesn’t change the fact that whenever I’m near you, the temptation is there,” he whispered, his warm breath tickling the sensitive spot behind my ear.
He had a power over my body—an influence I couldn’t control or prevent. “Zavier.” I shivered, in an almost plea that could have been a yes or a no. I lifted my fingers to press against his chest with every intention to push him away, but then my lashes fluttered open and I realized too late what a mistake that had been.
His silver eyes burned bright, fingers tightening at my hips, and the thread of his control was on the edge of unraveling. “You belong to me.”
Did I?
Could I?
There was no denying I wanted him to kiss me, to touch me, to make me feel alive instead of this dead coldness inside me. I wanted him to take away the anger, the pain, the hurt. Only he could do it. It made no sense, but little did.
I hated him.
But I wanted him.
I detested the vampire.
But loved the man.
My fingers curled into his shirt, neither pushing him away nor pulling him closer. I lay there, poised on the edge of a cliff. Did I jump or scamper away from the ledge?
“This is for your protection, minx,” he rasped.
My lips twitched. “You seducing me is for my own protection? That’s a new one.”
“I don’t know whether to bite you or spank you.”
“Surprise me.” Had that come out of my mouth? What the hell was wrong with me? I needed to have my brain scanned for defects.
His tongue ran over the vein, leaving a wet path down my neck. “Mine.”
The possessiveness in his voice made me quiver.
With a harsh groan, he plunged his fangs into my skin, and my head fell back, sinking deeper into the feather pillow. My legs wound around his waist, and I arched up, pressing my hips into his.
Gods.
Something happened.
The stars aligned. The earth shifted. I lost my mind.
Power slammed into me, swimming in my veins as Zavier took the sweet warmth of my blood into his mouth. This was wrong, against so many rules, but in the height of pure ecstasy, I didn’t care. I only knew I didn’t want him to stop.
My arms wound around him, holding tight as tiny jolts of electricity threw me over the edge as my body shattered into a million pieces. The orgasm was u
nexpected. He had barely touched me. Only a bite.
If I was given a second to think about what had occurred, I would be filled with shame, but Zavier had moved from sucking my neck to kissing me brainless. Where he was concerned, I had no control over my body or my feelings.
This was madness.
He captured my lips in a kiss, my skin flushing with the stain of arousal as heat curled within my body.
I didn’t want romance or sweet nothings. What I wanted was hot, fast sex, no tangles of emotions, just speed and sweat. At least that was what I told myself. As always, Zavier knew what I wanted and needed before I did.
Nails raked over flesh as I used my teeth on his earlobe. I was rewarded as his body instantly responded, seeing the lightning streak of heat cloud his eyes.
But he didn’t give me the hot and fast I sought. He caught me off guard, crushing his lips to mine in a slow, drugging kiss that left my limbs weak. With light fingers, he lifted the shirt over my head in a teasing exploration, my undergarments following.
I trembled with pleasure, blood racing. There was also a new desire I’d never experienced before. The hunger to feel his fangs buried deep in my flesh. I wanted it again, and the dark glory of it gushed through me, surging until passion drowned the anger and doubts.
“There might be darkness running through my blood, but it is you, minx, who has stolen my heart,” he murmured in a raspy voice.
My gaze locked with his as he slid into me with one smooth stroke.
God almighty.
I would have sworn I was well rounded when it came to sex, but Zavier made me think there was so much more I had to learn. He touched me in dangerous places, pieces of myself I had deliberately shut off. Words whispered from my lips. I didn’t know what I was saying, only that I couldn’t stop them from tumbling out of me.
It was magic. There was no other way to describe what was shimmering through my body.
His pace was slow, drawing out the pleasure with the promise of paradise. I quickened my hips as they rolled upward to meet his, reaching for the bliss of release.