“That’s a lie,” she finally said. “I don’t think Trent’s trying to shift the blame. But I do think we’re incompatible in this case. I’m not the submissive he needs.”
“And he’s not the Dom you need?” I glanced at her again, noticing the way she winced.
“I never thought Trent would be permanent,” she said softly. “He’s not that kind of guy.” Her head turned toward me. “You know him. Probably better than anyone. Do you think he’s in it for the long run?”
That wasn’t a question I could answer. In all the time I’d known Trent, I’d never seen him in a serious relationship. I’d also never seen him look at anyone the way he looked at Clarissa. Or me, for that matter. I wasn’t going to diminish what was transpiring between us.
She obviously wasn’t expecting an answer because she rattled off a line of questions. “What about him sneaking out of bed? Do you think that’s normal? Was it my fault he did that? Am I so abhorrent he had to sneak out in the middle of the night?”
“I … uh…” I frowned over at her. “I don’t think him slipping out had anything to do with you.”
Her head snapped toward me. “Why? Does he do it to you, too?”
I turned back to the road, unable to respond.
“Does he, Troy? When the two of you are intimate, does he sneak out of bed before the sun’s up?”
I cleared my throat. “We haven’t been… We haven’t had sex, Clarissa.”
“Oh.” Her voice softened. “I just assumed. So, maybe it is me.”
I sighed because this was getting us nowhere. The woman was fixated on this and I wanted her to think it through. I opted for a change of subject.
“What about the job? In Chicago?” I asked her. “Are you planning to take it?”
“Doubtful. It would be too weird having to see Trent all the time.”
Okay, and clearly, she was writing us both off completely. I had to admit, there was a tightness in my chest that wasn’t all that comfortable. I pushed it aside, ignoring my own feelings. In the grand scheme of things, they didn’t matter.
“But it’s a great opportunity, no?”
“Sure it is, Troy. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right opportunity for me.”
“Well, I doubt you care what I think, but if I were you, I’d take it. Why let one man change the path of your entire life?”
“I do care what you think,” she replied, a slight tremble in her voice. “I happen to care about you a lot. And I care about Trent. I just don’t think it’s meant to be.”
That was the last thing I expected her to say, but I couldn’t come up with a response.
“You really think I should take the job?”
I cast a quick look her way. “Of course I do. You’re more than qualified and it’s obvious they want you. Plus, you said it was everything you’ve ever dreamed of. That means something, Clarissa.” I kept my eyes on the road. “And three, because I’m selfish. I want to spend more time with you, and if you’re in Chicago, the chances of us seeing each other would be good.”
“Trent won’t let you see me anymore,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Really?” She clearly didn’t know Trent the way I did. “And why not?”
“Because you belong to him now. You’re his submissive. I’m sure he’ll find another woman who will complete your little triad.”
Okay, she was going to be bullheaded about this. It wouldn’t matter how much I argued with her. Nothing I said would sway her opinion. Not tonight.
We were almost to her house before she spoke again, this time catching me by surprise.
“Troy, I’m scared.”
My eyes flew over to her face. “Of…?”
“Everything. Of the way this is playing out. The way I feel about it. You. Trent. A new job in a new state. I don’t know what to expect and … well, I don’t usually do relationships. Not that this was a relationship. I’m not saying that. It’s just—”
“It’s a relationship, Clarissa. Not past tense, either. No matter how you slice and dice it, this is a relationship and what’s going on between you and Master can’t be dismissed in one night.”
“Which is what scares me most,” she said with a huff. “Deep down I know it’s real. But I also know that what happened tonight … the way I acted at the club, I can’t help it. It’s the way I am, and I know he can’t handle that.”
“Being a robot is the way you are?”
She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I am not a robot.”
I wasn’t trying to insult her, and I think she understood that. “You’re right. You’re not. You’re a strong, independent woman. I’ve spent almost every day this week with you and you weren’t acting the way you were tonight. You retreated. As though it would allow you to be … in control.”
She put her hands on her face. “Oh, God. How did that happen?”
I reached over and took her wrist, pulling her hand down from her face.
“It doesn’t have to remain that way. If you learned to do that, you can learn not to do it. You need to trust the people who care about you. Your insecurities are getting in your way.”
“I know. But it’s the way I protect myself.”
“From?”
“Everyone. Trent. You. How I feel about you both.”
I wanted to ask her how she felt, but I knew better than to push the subject. I think she was referring to how she felt in general, not at the point to claim she was in love with either one of us. Or both of us.
“Well, I think you should consider it. The job and Master. Don’t write him off just yet. And maybe you should come to Chicago for a few days. You can check out the city, spend some time at Chatter, see if it’s something that’ll work for you. And maybe by the time you leave, you’ll figure out if this is something you really want to pursue or not.”
“It is,” she said quickly. “Something I want to … well, entertain at least. The job is everything I’ve ever wanted. But I’m not sure it’s smart for me to jump in so quickly. There’re too many factors at play and I don’t want to make a decision that can’t be undone.”
“Are you referring to the job or the relationship?”
“Both. More importantly, when it comes to you and Trent, I can see myself making a rash decision, falling before I should. Since I can’t be what Trent needs, I’d be setting myself up for failure.”
“Falling?” I turned into her driveway and put the SUV in park.
“In love. It’s far too soon for that to happen, but I’m an emotional person. I’ll get caught up in it all. I’m not sure that’s the best thing for any of us.”
I turned to face her. “I won’t try to talk you into it, Clarissa. As much as I want to, this has to be your decision. It’s the reason Trent’s not here.”
Clarissa shook her head. “He’s not here because he doesn’t want to see me.”
“Not true.” He hadn’t said as much, but I knew him. “He’s giving you space. You’re the one who insisted on going home.”
“But he didn’t stop me.”
“That’s not who he is, Clarissa. If you only knew how many people walk in and out of his life… It’s not a small number. Everyone’s looking for something from him. At some point, he’s going to need someone who’s willing to give back.”
Someone who would show him he didn’t have to be in control all the time. The man needed us to prove to him we could take care of him. He didn’t have to be the one taking care of himself all the time.
Her eyes dropped to the center console. “It’s so much easier when a Dom simply tells me what to do.”
“Do you think that’s how you ended up the way you are? Where you turn into a doll as a way to prove your submission? Letting him pose you the way he wants and only get the reaction he’s asked you for?”
“Man, you’re harsh.” She huffed out a laugh, then her tone softened. “But you’re also right. Until tonight, until Trent pointed out what I did, I never saw it that way. It wa
s my idea of submission and as soon as he laid it out there, I realized exactly why I haven’t been happy all this time. I’ve twisted submission into something else entirely and it left me feeling … empty.”
I stared at her for a few seconds, unsure what to say. It was clear she wasn’t trying to lay all the blame on Master. However, I knew it would take some time for her to come around.
I could only hope she did.
And soon.
A knock sounded on the window and I peered out to see Zeke standing there.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I told Clarissa when she reached for the door handle.
She nodded. “Thanks for driving me home.”
And just like that, she was gone and Bishop was riding shotgun.
*
When I arrived back at the club, I parked the SUV in the same spot and went inside, my absurdly silent bodyguard trailing right behind me.
I had no idea what I would find when I got up to the apartment, but I was hoping Master would be willing to talk. At least, I had to tell him I would listen if he needed me to. If not, this impromptu trip to Chicago was going to be awkward for sure.
I found him in the small office, sitting at his desk and staring at the wall. He looked as though he’d been in the same spot the entire time I’d been gone.
“Master?”
“Ken, I get it, but that doesn’t mean I’ll change my mind. Unfortunately, it’s just not enough for me anymore.” There was a long pause before, “Oh, I’ve heard it all before, but don’t think threatening me is going to get you what you want.”
Damn. He was on the phone. In the middle of the night.
No way was this good.
I knew that tone. The one that usually had people running the other direction with their tails between their legs.
The next thing I heard was his cell phone hitting the desk.
Master hadn’t yet made a public announcement regarding his separation with his current talent agency, but I knew it was coming. What had prompted a late-night phone call, I wasn’t sure, but I knew with certainty it wasn’t a good idea. Especially after what had happened between him and Clarissa. My boss valued his relationships with people. I doubted he would’ve had the same conversation if he’d been thinking clearly.
I took a moment to look him over. Knowing I had to tread lightly, I moved closer. Master was sitting in his chair, head back, eyes closed.
I cleared my throat. “I’m back. Just thought I’d let you know.”
“Clarissa all right?” he asked, not looking at me.
“I’m not sure that’s how to put it, but she’s home and safe.”
His gaze slid to me and it felt as though he was prompting me to talk, so I did.
“Look, boss, Clarissa’s hurting. She needs some time to think. As do you.”
Master’s eyes were sad. “Is she coming back? Ever?”
I shrugged because I didn’t know. “The only thing I know for sure is that she cares about you. A lot. She’s learned a few things about herself tonight that I believe surprised her. But I don’t think it’s in your best interest to give up on her.”
His eyes closed and he didn’t reply, so I took that to mean he was finished with the conversation.
“All right. Well, I figure I’ll go sleep on the couch. Give you some space.”
“I don’t want space, Troy,” he said gruffly, his eyes opening as he pinned me in place, the intensity in his gaze hot enough to melt the polar ice caps.
I found it interesting that I’d never noticed the subtle changes in Master’s expressions. Now that I knew the Dom intimately, they were easier to make out. This was not Trent Ramsey the actor, my boss, sitting before me. This was my master.
I had no fucking clue what protocol was or how I was supposed to position myself and shit like that, but I did know when the man needed me for something more than fetching him coffee or calling to cancel an appointment.
Now was one of those times.
And that was the reason I walked into his office, stopped right beside his desk, and went to my knees before him. This wasn’t something I was familiar with, but I knew him well enough to know he didn’t care how I did it. He merely needed me right then and I was going to be there.
His gaze followed my every move, but he didn’t say a word. I could see the tension in the lines around his eyes, and never before had I wanted to ease his strain as I did right then. Like Clarissa, he was hurting, although he wasn’t the type to admit it.
“Move closer,” he instructed, slinging one arm over his head, resting it on the top of the high-back executive chair.
I inched closer, remaining on my knees.
“Free my cock.”
With his help, I managed to pull his pajama pants down to his thighs when he lifted his hips. I took his cock in hand, admiring it as I did. He was hard in my hand, velvet over steel.
“Put your mouth on me.”
“With pleasure, Master,” I said as I leaned in and laved him with my tongue.
He groaned, and his eyes closed, but the tension didn’t seem to leave his body.
“Don’t rush,” he instructed. “Just let me feel that sweet fucking mouth.”
My cock twitched in my jeans, but I ignored it, focusing solely on Master. I worked him with my mouth, taking my time, exploring every hard inch with my lips and tongue.
When his fingers tangled in my hair, a chill stole over my entire body but I maintained my focus. He guided me forward, inched me back, feeding me his cock over and over. The roughness from earlier was absent. He tasted good, smelled even better, and I got lost in him. In fact, I was so consumed by what I was doing I didn’t stop until he pulled my hair, holding my head back as his cock fell from my lips.
“Stand up for me, boy. I want you naked.”
I got to my feet and made quick work of removing my clothes while he watched me intently. Those blue eyes trailed over me from head to toe and back again. He seemed as entranced by me as I was by him and it only made me hotter, more desperate for whatever he had in store for me.
“Now,” he said when I was naked, “I want you to go into my bedroom. In the nightstand drawer, you’ll find a bottle of lube and a box of condoms. Get the lube and one condom. Place them on the bed. You’ll find restraints under the mattress, pull them out—for your arms only. Then I want you to lie in the middle of the bed, on your back, head on the pillow, and wait for me.”
“Yes, Master.”
“Do not touch your cock.”
“Yes, Master.”
When it was clear he was finished giving me instructions, I headed toward the bedroom, eager to do exactly as he’d instructed.
Trent
IN AN EFFORT TO GET myself under control, I stayed in my office while Troy went to my bedroom and got ready. I didn’t do it because I was stalling. Not this time.
No, the right mindset was what I was after, because I had every intention of claiming that man in the most intimate way possible.
The instant he knelt at my feet, I was doomed. This was more than me being his Dom and him my submissive. A whole lot more. But even as I acknowledged that, I found myself looking forward to every second I got to spend with him.
Tonight had pretty much gone to shit. At least where Clarissa was concerned. However, I couldn’t take that out on Troy. He deserved so much more than that from me. I had evidently let Clarissa down, but I certainly wasn’t going to let him down, too.
Ever since our shower, I’d been thinking about the moment when I would claim him, when I would lose myself in him the way I’d wanted to for so long.
Not that I didn’t want Clarissa with us, because I did. She’d been gone for only a short time, but I missed her. I knew I would have to find a way to fix this, but it wouldn’t be tonight.
I needed this time with Troy. I wanted it. Maybe it made me selfish, but I wasn’t going to make excuses for it.
Pushing to my feet, I pulled my pajama pants up and drew the string to ke
ep them from falling down to my feet as I made my way to the bedroom. When I stepped inside, my eyes swept over the sexy man lying in my bed.
“You look good there,” I told him. “In my bed. I like seeing you there.”
His eyes followed me as I allowed my gaze to trail over every inch of his naked body. Taking my time, I admired him as I moved around to the side of the bed. He had pulled the arm restraints from under the mattress and set them on the bed as I had instructed.
“Give me your hand.”
He held out his right hand and I trailed my fingertips down his forearm before I buckled the cuff around his wrist, then adjusted the strap to pull it taut so that his arm was extended toward the edge of the mattress.
Still watching him, I moved around to the other side and did the same with his left arm. He wasn’t fully bound, but this was good for now. Later, I would take great pleasure in trussing him up and using his body any way I saw fit.
“Do you not want me to touch you?” Troy asked, his eyes still trailing me as I moved to the end of the bed.
“I merely like seeing you tied up,” I told him truthfully. “I was just thinking that in the future, I would have you tied up in many different ways while I use your entire body for my pleasure.”
A shiver racked him and his cock jerked. It laid heavily against his stomach, hard and eager.
“I have a thing for restraints,” I explained as I slowly removed my pants, allowing them to fall to the floor before stepping out of them. “I’ve thought about all the ways I want to tie you down, have you at my mercy. Does that bother you?”
“Not at all, Master.”
Once I was naked, I took my cock in hand and stroked it firmly. I wanted Troy’s anticipation to build. God only knew mine had been building for long enough now. I’d spent the entire past year fantasizing about him, never thinking this moment would come. It still surprised me.
I moved closer to the bed and grabbed the lubricant, flipping the cap open, then closed as I admired my submissive in all his naked, vulnerable glory. I placed one knee on the mattress and I noticed the way his muscles tightened.
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