by Merikan,Miss
I finished mine much more slowly, but I pushed the pitcher of cold lemonade with ice cubes toward him. “There, there. Very well for a first timer,” I teased, patting his back, just to have another opportunity for touch.
“Hell, I need some bread,” he whispered in a raspy voice, while sucking on an ice cube, and a single tear rolled down his cheek from the redder eye.
I tried not to laugh but handed him a chunk of vanilla sponge with buttercream. “It gets better with time.”
Santo chewed on it quickly, and I cringed, hearing the sound of crushed ice in his mouth. He wiped his eyes with a napkin. “My incentive better be good.”
I exhaled and made sure there was no one but the decorators to see us. “I hope no one will be searching for you,” I said, slowly making my way toward the huge kitchen that was used mostly during big gatherings, because a smaller one was in use on a daily basis.
My heart thudded, but I led the way, hoping the dress would trail up my body slightly and give Santo more of a glimpse of my upper thighs. I’d never felt naughtier than when he followed me this way, as if he were a greedy kid, and I was the candy he couldn’t wait to unwrap. I would never forget the way his tongue trailed all over my body and even into my pussy. He’d been so overcome with lust that remembering his flushed face between my legs was making me clench my buttocks.
“There’s a pantry upstairs,” he whispered behind me, despite us being alone.
“Is there?” I asked softly and slid into the narrow staircase to my right. “You need to show me.”
Heat was already wreaking havoc in my body, tossing somewhere in my stomach and trickling down between my thighs.
“No. After you.” He pointed to the door upstairs and it didn’t take a mastermind to know that what he wanted was a glimpse up my skirt. It wasn’t like it would hurt anyone if he got it.
I opened the door and dove into the darkness that smelled of spices, herbs, and dried meat. It was stuffy in there, but I couldn’t even remember to breathe when his hands rested on my waist and pulled me close. I opened my mouth and leaned forward, bumping my nose against his cold lips.
He had to bow down a lot with the ceiling in the pantry so low, but he didn’t seem to mind, his kiss heating up by the second. I didn’t even realize I’ve opened my mouth to his cool tongue until I’ve done it.
The urgency with which he wanted me hit me with its full force when his hands slid to my ass and squeezed hard. And despite all my logic yelling to swat those hands away, all I truly wanted was for him to roll my dress up and slide his fingers between my thighs.
I moaned into the kiss, holding on tightly to his shoulders, overcome with an emotion I couldn’t name.
I didn’t want him to leave today.
I didn’t want him to only be a fleeting presence in my life.
I didn’t want to marry Seth Villani.
He pushed me back toward some sort of cupboard, which rattled in protest when we put our weight against it. His lips, so cold in the beginning, were warming up fast, and I slid my arms around his neck, wanting him even closer. This kind of passion was something I’d always wanted to avoid at all cost, but here I was, surrendering to it with the man I couldn’t have. To the kisses that tasted of spicy chillies, sweet vanilla, and smoke all rolled into one irresistible concoction.
Santo groaned into my lips, his fingers trailing over the dress, in the dip between my buttocks. “How do I get this off you? It’s so tight it’s driving me mad,” he whispered into my ear and bit it. When he pushed against me with more urgency, I felt his hard erection against my stomach.
Santo wouldn’t settle for kisses. He wanted everything. He wanted to be inside me in the way I was only supposed to allow my husband. But there was no denying that my panties were soaking wet for him, and I already worried if it would be somehow visible on my dress.
“Lu?” Mona yelled from downstairs, pulling me out of the lust-filled haze so brutally I wasn’t even sure what I was doing.
I pushed away so abruptly I hit the back of my head against the shelf behind me. Oh, God. If Mona was so close by, someone must had seen us walk away and told her where to look for me. “Hi! I’ll be with you in a second,” I yelled back, frantically pulling down my dress.
Santo was so close his warm breath kept brushing against my neck and ear, and I was torn between being angry that Mona had broken up my reckless moment with Santo, and being grateful to her. That man was walking, talking temptation.
“No…” Santo’s whisper was barely audible, and for a moment, he pulled my hand back, but then I slipped away, and losing the connection of our fingers felt like ripping away a band-aid that had been on my skin for years.
I grabbed the first jar that I could get a hold of in the pantry, and walked out, taking deep breaths to cool off.
“Hey!” I yelled from afar, trying to hide my exasperation behind a wall of faked excitement. “You’re finally here! I got busy going through the pantry, and found this jam. Wanna try it?” I grinned like the Cheshire Cat.
Mona frowned and looked at my hand. “Those are pickled onions.”
I put the jar down. “Ah, yes, that’s what I meant. Those are great in sandwiches,” I said, pulling Mona close for a hug. My body was still hot and heavy from the brief encounter in the pantry, but I couldn’t let her know anything was up. “You’re just on time to help me out with the cake samples. I’m still not sure what I want.”
She raised her eyebrows and gave the jar a dubious glance, but hooked her arm with mine as we walked out of the kitchen. Only then did I have a moment to take in what she was wearing. Her usual shorts and T-shirt had been swapped out for a long black dress that exposed her cleavage, and she was wearing platform boots as well. I knew she wanted to feel attractive during this trip, but I couldn’t help feeling that my baby sister was growing up all too quickly.
“How many can we choose?” Mona smiled and looked over the table.
“No one gave me a limit, but I’m already set on ordering chili tarts. I guess the wedding cake is the most important choice, because we will only have one,” I said, picking up the first piece of cake with cream and pushing it at her mouth.
Oh, God, what would have happened if Mona hadn’t stopped us on time? Someone would’ve surely found out, and there would have been hell to pay. For me, surely, for my father most likely, but what would Santo’s penalty have been? It hadn’t escaped my attention that my fiancé was missing one pinky. He was probably much less innocent than he led me to believe.
Mona frowned, but her mouth was stuffed with cake, so she couldn’t say a word. I turned around to see what she was looking at, only to freeze at the sight of Santo emerging from the kitchen. Sure, he didn’t seem suspicious, and even gave us a short nod as he passed, but Mona knew that kitchen had been empty, and there was only one door. Could I spin it around somehow?
She couldn’t swallow fast enough. “You did not!” she uttered with her eyes wide.
I did my best not to watch Santo, but he was going to do something risky, and I wanted to remember him well. For good luck.
“Did I what?” I asked, trying to play dumb, but Mona wasn’t as easily fooled as Federico Villani.
When Santo had disappeared, Mona narrowed her eyes, stepping closer. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re not even at home anymore. Did it hurt?” she added in a whisper.
I pushed cake into my mouth to cover the rush of embarrassment in my body. “It’s not like that.”
“Are you sure? Because it seems totally like that.” The frown wouldn’t leave her face. “I mean…he’s hot and all, but you’re playing with fire.”
“It was just a kiss,” I whispered, stepping closer. “Don’t worry about me. I have it under control,” I added, to not give her any ideas.
Mona took a deep breath and chose a cake to try. “I mean…I’m all for adventure, but you know Father… And if Seth found out? This could all be a disaster.”
“It won’t happen
again. He’s leaving today,” I said begrudgingly, but I knew she was right. No matter how much I wanted Santo, he was not my future husband, and one of us needed to be the adult. If Santo couldn’t keep his hands away from me, I needed to do it for him.
“Strawberry or vanilla?” I asked, itching for a change of topic.
Mona sighed. “Better tell me all about Seth. Is he handsome?”
Chapter 6
I looked nothing like I’d imagined I would.
My mother’s wedding dress hung off the curtain rod, its satin fabric shiny against the elegant silk taffeta of the curtain. I could hardly bear seeing myself in it, not only because of its outdated fashion, but also because my mother wouldn’t be there to see me wear it.
If she were there, maybe we could’ve compromised and reworked the original gown somehow, to suit me, but seeing myself in a conservative updo that matched its style made it all even worse. At least the makeup was neutral, enhancing my features rather than making me look like someone else, but the more hairspray the stylist left all over me, the less I felt like Lucrezia Bruni.
And maybe that was the point, because I wouldn’t bear that name any longer.
Mona sat by me, sipping her single glass of champagne and trying to distract me with conversation, but her presence did not obscure the fact that I felt like a dressed-up doll. Out of all my close friends, she was the only one attending my wedding, yet another mark of the permanent change to my life.
The hairdresser eventually left, and with the general understanding being that the bride needed some time to herself, I could expect two hours of relative peace in Mona’s company.
“I mean…” Mona glanced at the dress. “I know it’s not what you wanted, but on you it looks really classy.”
I didn’t think so. She just wanted to make me feel better. I hated how carefully Mona handled the dress. I wished it had torn, and I wouldn’t have to wear it, and the whole wedding would be called off.
And Santo still hadn’t let me know if he was alive and well. Why would his father even send him out somewhere dangerous? It defied all logic. I got up and opened the shirt to don the dress that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
“Let’s just get on with it.”
Mona whisted and giggled at the sight of my wedding lingerie, and I hadn’t even thought about it before she did. At least that I chose myself. Even if I didn’t know if it was something Seth would’ve appreciated or not, I would feel confident and beautiful on our wedding night.
The whole set was an off-white extravaganza of lace, pearls, and sheer fabric. A long line bra, a pair of tiny panties that exposed my buttocks, a garter belt and stockings with a lace pattern at the top that completed the style. I even bought a tulle robe to go with it for the evening.
“You look so…adult,” Mona choked out as she got the dress down for me.
“I am getting married today after all.” I winced at my own words.
“I know, I know. I think mom was nineteen when she married, wasn’t she?” Mona petted the dress with a thoughtful expression.
“Still a year later than me,” I said and carefully stepped into the dress before helping Mona to pull it over my hips.
“But maybe it’s a good thing that you will be wearing her dress? Honoring her memory…” Mona tried, she really did, but all I could think of was that this dress would lead me to the same catastrophic ending that it had led my mother to.
“Maybe,” I said, not wanting to spoil the mood too much. But I couldn’t pretend, even in front of Mona. “I can’t get over the feeling that it’s bad luck to wear it.”
She closed the zipper, which perfectly molded to my back and tightened the satin fabric around my chest. “I know what you mean. But you can’t prevent accidents. Their marriage was a very happy one before she died.”
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I almost broke into the flesh. Mona had no idea what she was talking about. When Mom died, Mona had been too young to understand what had happened, and I didn’t want to disillusion her.
“You are stunning.” Mona smiled, and we both stared into the floor-length mirror next to the huge mahogany desk where I’d been having breakfast and doing my makeup for the past week.
But in the reflection, I couldn’t see myself. I tried to fight it, but my eyes still welled up. I had no idea what my marriage to Seth Villani would be like. Was I supposed to just be a baby incubator for the Villani Family?
Now it hit me.
“What if he has a girlfriend in the States?” I whispered breathlessly, and a million visions popped into my head. Maybe that was the missing piece I couldn’t pinpoint. Santo had told me Seth would be sent back to the USA after the wedding, but no one else had informed me that it would be the case, so had Santo lied to me, or was he actually the only one to tell me the truth?
Mona laughed nervously and stroked my shoulder. “No, of course not. Now you’re panicking.”
“How do you know?” I asked, but my eyes were already welling up. So damn typical: the man could do whatever he wanted as long as he provided for me, but I was to be the perfect little wife for someone who hadn’t even bothered to meet up with me throughout my stay.
Tradition or not, if Seth had wanted to, he could have found a way to see me. He could have snuck into my room, or walked with me in the garden. We could have made a trip to the beach nearby and stolen some time together. There were a hundred different options.
But he had chosen not to see me.
Instead, I’d seen him drinking in the middle of the day numerous times, and walking around with a sour face.
“What if he’s an alcoholic?” I whispered, and a few tears streaked down my face.
Mona hugged me tightly. “Don’t panic. I’ll always be there for you, okay?”
“But I saw him drinking a lot. Either he’s dependant or he hates the idea of marrying me,” I said, taking deep breaths to stop crying. If I ruined my makeup, it would make the day infinitely worse. “What am I gonna do all alone here?”
“Lu, he can’t hate you. Just look at yourself. He will fall in love with you in no time.” Mona pointed to the mirror, but all I could see was my mother’s broken dreams and I wanted to cry even more.
A knock on the door coincided with my sob.
Mona exhaled and let me go, to see who it was. I picked up a clean tissue and leaned toward the mirror, quickly patting away the wetness below my eyes.
Behind me, Mona peeked through a crack between the open door and the wall before turning her head to me. “Lu?”
“Who is it?” I asked, straightening up in hope that the guest wouldn’t notice I have been crying.
Mona hesitantly opened the door wider, and I was so overwhelmed at the sight of Santo that I couldn’t breathe.
There he was, the image of perfection in a black tuxedo. So elegant and handsome that for a split second I fooled myself that he would be the man I marry today. His hair wasn’t slicked back but had a parting, which made him look like a sophisticated gentleman, no matter what dirty jobs he’d been doing in the past few days.
I gazed between him and Mona, but found myself walking toward the door despite my head becoming lighter by the second. “You’re all right.”
Santo stepped in, and now that I could finally see all of him, I could also see that he was holding a large gown cover. “I promised.”
My heart galloped, and I wanted so much to touch him, but with Mona there, it felt like such a wrong thing to do.
But she must have gotten the hint and quickly stepped toward the door, swiping me with that annoying all-knowing gaze. “I bet you two have something to talk about. I’ll be outside if you need me, Lu.”
A slight frown crossed Santo’s face, but he didn’t say anything, and instead locked the door. “I couldn’t be here sooner,” he said, but the truth was he must have spent at least half an hour on grooming himself. It flattered me that he wanted to look his best for me, even if he was doomed not to have me.
&
nbsp; My mother’s dress was slightly too tight on me, and it felt constricting now that I was breathing so deeply at the sight of him. I put my hand on his forearm and squeezed it. “That’s all right. I’m happy you’re here.”
Santo’s jaw was firmly clenched, which only emphasized his stern expression. “I brought the dress for you.” He placed it over the grey chaise longue, but his movements were stiff and he lacked his usual cocky attitude. “I got you something else back in Calabria as well.” He pulled a tiny black box out of his pocket and placed it into my hand.
I licked my lips, uncaring that I could have smudged my lipstick, and opened the box with my pulse thudding in my ears. On the bed of white satin was a small silver charm in an elongated shape, which I took only a split second to recognize. It was a chili pepper.
I took a deep breath. “That tart must have been very memorable,” I said, trying not to turn on the waterworks yet again, but the strain of it was quite obvious in my voice.
"It's for your bracelet." He took a deep breath. "Small and unassuming, but powerful enough to even defeat my father."
I chuckled and gave him the box. It was so nice he’d noticed that I’d personalized my bracelet. “Maybe you should attach it then.”
He nodded but didn’t smile, his face like the mask he held in front of other people, and yet I knew there was a side of him that laughed and was playful. When he reached to attach the chili to my bracelet, the tension between us was like an electric current, and I knew he felt it too. He had to. I couldn’t have imagined what was between us.
His touch alone, even if not intentionally sexual, made my skin all tingly. Those green eyes were so focused now, as if he was about to complete the most important task of his entire life.
With the little chili finally attached to my bracelet, I shook my hand gently. At least I’d have a little something from him as I walk down the aisle. “How do you like my dress?” I asked, glancing at the clear cover my dream ensemble had been tucked into.