by M. A. Phipps
Reaching out my hand, I clasp my fingers around his. When he looks up at me, I squeeze once, letting him know I’m here. A small smile tugs at his lips, but in spite of it, he looks sad.
“Before, we had a reason to fight,” he murmurs. “But now? Now, we don’t even know which side to fight on.”
“Neither,” Ezra snaps. “Neither choice will bring justice to anyone.”
I’m surprised by the defeated tone of his voice, but at the same time, I don’t blame him for feeling this way.
The State.
PHOENIX.
How do you pick a side when neither one is willing to do what’s right? When neither one gives a damn about helping the people who need it most? Maybe this isn’t about picking sides. Maybe this is about taking action rather than waiting for the worst to happen.
“You still have friends,” I point out. “You don’t need to support either side, but the fight isn’t over. Those people you defended, the ones who looked to you for guidance, deserve a chance at freedom. You have to decide for yourselves which is the lesser of two evils and live with it for their sake. For the sake of the future.”
As the last word rushes from my mouth, an image flashes through my thoughts. My eyes glaze over as my pulse quickens, and I’m reminded of the fear that I can never escape.
In spite of what I’ve said, I’m unable to ignore the voice echoing in my head.
If there’s still a future to fight for, it says.
My toes tap against the floor as my body rocks back and forth. Each passing second ticks by, counting down to the grim future that awaits us any second now. I count each one as I focus my mind, anticipating the moment that will inevitably change everything.
A sharp breath catches in my lungs, and Ezra and Jenner turn toward me in response.
“It’s happening,” I whisper.
Out of my peripheral vision, I notice the meaningful look they exchange. Neither one of them moves, but I ignore their blatant unease, keeping my eyes locked ahead.
An instant later, the first impact sends a tremor through the compound. The room quakes, causing a blanket of dust to come down on us like snow. We all cast a nervous glance at the walls and ceiling, sharing the same visible relief when they remain intact.
Without thinking, I jump to my feet. A budding hysteria clutches my throat as I recall the images I saw in my head, depicting this moment. As I remember the scene of destruction that felt far too real.
The scene of destruction that is real now.
Ezra grips my hand as if to hold me back. “Wynter—”
“I need to see it,” I gasp, cutting him off.
He and Jenner stare at me, wide-eyed and unsure. I can sense their apprehension, even if they choose not to voice it.
An exasperated sigh trickles from my lips. If only they could know what I’m feeling right now. If only they could understand what this is like.
Fixing my gaze on Ezra, I mutter in an anxious breath, “For once, I need to see it with my own two eyes.”
The expression on his face gives off the distinct impression that he wants to argue against this idea, but for whatever reason, he maintains his silence.
Jenner clears his throat and brushes a thick layer of dust off his shoulder. “It’s time we figure out what we’re going to do anyway. We can’t very well stay here.”
“Okay,” Ezra agrees. Nodding at me, he adds, “Lead the way.”
They flank me on each side as we move toward the steel barrier blocking our path. I stare at it for a brief moment before shooting a warning glare over my shoulder.
“Stand back.”
I turn toward the door as a surge of power bubbles within me. Breathing in, I allow it to expand until the pressure is strong enough to do what’s needed. Leaning forward, I push it out of my body, watching as the metal caves, snapping off its hinges with a sudden blow and falling to the floor with a heavy thud. Ezra and Jenner jump back when it slams against the concrete.
My feet shift into an attack position, preparing for the interference I suspect stands on the other side. But when I peer through the entryway, I’m surprised to find the corridor empty, with the exception of the unconscious figure lying motionless beneath the door. A small trickle of blood seeps out from under the metal.
Jenner steps around the steel and lets out a long, drawn-out whistle. Crouching to the floor, he checks the body for a pulse. Peering up at me, he attempts to hide his true emotions behind a smile.
“There are worse ways to go,” he murmurs.
I swallow. I didn’t want to cause any more needless deaths, but I knew the risks involved with doing things this way.
Taking a deep breath, I shake it off. “We should move before others come to investigate.”
Ezra appears beside me, and I watch him as he glances down both lengths of the hallway.
“Assuming anyone even heard that,” he says. “They’re probably all up top, watching the show.”
Jenner shrugs his shoulders. “Well, we know which way to avoid then.”
A soft gasp escapes my lungs when Ezra’s fingers wrap around mine. Lowering my eyes, I peek at our linked hands. This one gesture is enough to tell me that he’ll be at my side every step of the way.
No matter what.
“Let’s go,” I breathe.
My feet take off in a hurry, following Ezra and Jenner as they lead me through the maze-like structure with ease. With each turn, I expect to meet resistance or to find someone who isn’t aware we’ve escaped. However, each corridor is just as empty as the last, making it appear as if the entire place has been abandoned.
Every few minutes, another tremor rocks the compound. The very thought of it unnerves me, making me wonder about the weapons being unleashed on the Heart. We’re Outside—far enough away that we shouldn’t feel such shockwaves.
Yet, we do.
Once again, I think back on that fateful meeting with Nolan and being forced to recount the attack we’re about to witness first-hand. The image of mangled corpses and debris fills my head, causing overwhelming nausea to radiate through my body. The power behind it is crippling.
Shaking away the memory, I concentrate on our hurried trek through the compound. The hallways become narrower as Ezra steers us deeper into what’s beginning to feel like the belly of the beast. Finally, we come across a staircase leading up to a metal door. In contrast to the cellar pathway that took us into the farmhouse, this entrance is more like the hatch doors littered throughout the tunnels under the city.
We skip the steps two at a time, racing to the top. Jenner throws himself forward, expelling a loud grunt as his hands grip the metal wheel affixed to the door. A cold rush of air hits my cheeks as it gradually squeaks open, and I breathe in, embracing this fresh lifeline.
Jenner climbs out first, followed by Ezra, who turns to help me over the threshold. I stumble, blinded by the glare of the late afternoon sun, which is just now making its descent over the horizon.
As my eyes adjust to the brightness of the outside world, I take a moment to assess my unusual surroundings. Glancing at our feet, I see the hatch door embedded within the dirt, nestled on the outskirts of the same field encircling the farmhouse. The house itself stands a couple hundred yards in front of us. Hopefully, at a safe enough distance that no one will notice we’re here. Unless, of course, Nolan discovers we’ve escaped and decides to send a patrol to find us.
I try not to think about that. Instead, I focus on the silhouette of the city in the distance.
My home.
Explosions dot the skyline around it. The fire erupting from each impact is visible, even from where we stand, miles away from the devastation. A shudder runs up my back, causing goosebumps of fear to pop up along my skin.
This destruction and brutal slaughter.
This is my fault.
It’s retaliation for what I am. For what I’ve done.
I imagine the innocent people caught up in this war. A war they never wanted or asked
for. One they were oblivious to, despite the fact that it was brewing right beneath their noses. Now, they’ll pay the ultimate price.
This . . .
This is my fault.
My entire body trembles as those words play through my head on a loop. Taunting me. Blaming me. Through it all, the only thing in this world that holds me to my wavering sanity is the feel of Ezra’s hand around mine. His grip tightens, but I don’t turn to look at him. Feeling him beside me is more than enough.
Tears prick my eyes as the attack continues. With each blast, I try to remind myself that I never had a choice. I did what I had to do to protect the people I love. I’m not the only person who would’ve caved under such pressure, and I’m certainly not the only one to blame for all of this. Besides, at least my actions were quick. If Richter had been in control of me, like he threatened so many times, I can’t say that he would’ve shown such mercy.
My thoughts cease mid-sentence, coinciding with the abrupt silence. A soft breeze brings a rain of ash with it, which settles on top of the overgrown fields. Other than that, the world seems to freeze as if time has stopped altogether.
The only movement in the whole universe comes from the single word running in a rampant spiral through my brain. Without hesitation, it spills from my lips.
“Richter.”
Ezra looks at me, and I can feel his body stiffen at the mention of his brother. I turn to meet his startled gaze, hoping he’ll understand.
“I need to know. I need to see if he’s still alive.” Shifting my body until I’m standing in front of him, I lift my hands to take hold of his face. Leaning forward, I touch my lips against his. “I need to know if I’m finally free of him.”
He considers me but says nothing. Dropping his eyes, he nods his head.
Reaching for his hand again, I squeeze it once before taking a step away, putting distance between us. Focusing on the Heart, I ready my mind, searching for Dr. Richter amidst the chaos and ruin. Although a part of me hoped for his interference with Nolan, the inhuman part would rather find him among the corpses. Regardless of Nolan’s plans, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see Richter dead.
I breathe in. Looking for something so precise and particular is like searching for an object in complete and utter darkness. I envision each of the places I might expect to find him, but none so much as the DSD. When I pinpoint his position, it’s as if someone has suddenly turned on a light. The vision hits me at once.
I see him standing in front of me, alive and well. However, this vision is strange—so unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Usually, I’m like a ghost, haunting the boundary between two worlds without being able to affect either. But here, it’s as if I’m a complete and vital part of it.
As if he knew that I would seek him out, he hisses in a serpent-like voice, “Hello, Wynter.”
I reel back, wondering if he can see me. But when he continues to speak, I realize this is more like a recorded message—a broadcast he’s prepared for the pre-emptive moment I would play right back into his hands.
“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist looking for me. While I appreciate your concern, I know that’s not the real reason you’re here.”
He folds his hands across the glass surface of a desk in one of the exam rooms at the DSD. Other than that, he doesn’t move or blink.
“How does it feel to watch your city burn?” he asks me. “To see men, women, and children die . . . all because of what you are.”
An audible, sharp breath seethes through my teeth, creating a low whistle as my jaw clenches. The hatred and anger boiling within me are all-consuming. If I was actually in this room, I would shove those vile sentiments back down his throat.
“Make no mistake,” he says. “This is as much your fault as it is the State’s.”
His every syllable feeds my rage until his expression abruptly changes. I’m jolted by the silent plea burning in his gaze.
“That’s why you have to come back. Together, we can salvage what’s left and protect our country. We can shelter our beloved Heart and rebuild.” Lowering his eyes, he shrugs his shoulders. When he looks back up at me, the fleeting emotion in his eyes is gone. “Or, you can leave me here to die and watch everyone else depart this world with me. Perhaps that’s what you want. To see me die.”
I narrow my eyes when he rises from his seat. His footsteps reflect off the tiled floor as his tall frame crosses the room in a lithe but unhurried movement. I shift position along with him, now nothing more than his unwilling shadow.
“But you wouldn’t wish that on an innocent, would you? You’re not willing to let everyone die, to watch the people you love die . . . . Are you?”
The tone of his voice is foreboding, and I’m not sure I like where this one-sided conversation is heading.
A fresh apprehension takes hold of me when he halts beside a construction of opaque screens positioned in the middle of the room. I watch his hand as it dances along the control panel beside it.
His eyes glow, and for a moment, I swear he can see me.
“You’re not willing to let her die . . . .”
His long finger pushes a button. A second later, the screens vanish into thin air, lowering their outer shields to reveal what’s hidden behind them.
My eyes widen when I register the bed, and when I take in the sight of the beautiful woman laying upon it. The sound of her beating heart projects from a monitor, resounding like small claps of thunder throughout the exam room.
“Rai . . . .” I gasp.
“Are you?” his voice croons in my ear.
Everything seems to double as an overwhelming feeling of trepidation strangles me. All I can comprehend is Richter and his lips, which curl into a smile as the vision around me crumbles. As the last of the image shatters, I hear his voice hover over me, repeating the very statement he used to manipulate me two years ago.
“Think about it, Wynter. You know where to find me.”
“It can’t . . .” I breathe.
A gust of wind hits my face, forcing me to suck in a lungful of air. It feels as if I’ve been trapped underwater and have only just now clawed my way to the surface. My heart and lungs throb as if to exacerbate that feeling.
My feet stumble forward, and my arms extend—reaching for Rai in manic desperation. Ezra’s hand grips my shoulder, ripping me away from the delusion. Overcome with weakness, I lose my balance. My knees buckle as I collapse to the ground, but he catches me before I can fall.
“Wynter! Wynter, what is it? What did you see?”
A terrible pain clutches my heart as I lift my gaze. A fearful reluctance chokes me into silence.
“Rai. She . . . she’s alive,” I finally manage.
Ezra’s hold on me slackens, but he doesn’t respond. His eyes glaze over, and Jenner rushes forward to support my weight, grabbing me when Ezra’s hands pull away.
“Wait. What did you just say?” he stammers.
I swallow the lump pressing on my windpipe and clear my throat as I take a step back.
Ezra doesn’t look at me, and Jenner doesn’t seem to know what to make of my admission.
“Richter has her.”
I don’t elaborate, choosing to gauge their individual reactions instead. Ezra appears to have gone into a state of shock, and I’m afraid further information may be the catalyst that will tip him over the edge. Jenner, on the other hand, takes the news surprisingly well.
“How is that possible?”
I shake my head as a rush of panic takes hold of my body. “It doesn’t matter how it’s possible. We have to go back.”
“Are you sure?”
Jenner and I turn at the same instant, taken aback by the unexpected sound of Ezra’s voice after so many moments lost in the quiet depths of his own despair. I cock an eyebrow, confused by his question.
“Did you actually see her . . . ?” he asks.
I glance away as I’m overcome by the memory of her laying there, unconscious but
alive. Without uttering a single word, I nod my head in response.
“All right,” he says.
Throwing back his head, Jenner huffs out a strained breath. “Let me guess, we have to go to the DSD,” he grumbles.
I’m stunned by how calm and collected he is. Until I remember the strength he’s shown so many times before. The strength we’ll need if we’re going to make it through this.
My lips part to speak, but the sound of a husky voice behind us interrupts me.
“I’m afraid I can’t allow that.”
We turn to see Nolan staring back at us, surrounded by the entourage of soldiers he’s collected. I notice Quinn standing among them, his wrathful gaze fixed solely on me.
I tense in preparation for the unavoidable fight before us. I could destroy each one of them before they could even make a move to stop me. Or, at least, I could have before I retrieved my memories, back when I was still a cold, unfeeling monster.
What about now? I don’t want to be that monster, but could I be if the situation called for it? On the other hand, what about Ezra and Jenner?
What if, by acting, I risk their safety?
Nolan steps forward, causing my body to go still. I don’t move a muscle—too afraid of what might happen to the only remaining people I care about if I do.
His eyes dart between us. “You have each been invaluable in getting PHOENIX to this stage, but you have become a nuisance that we can no longer afford.”
As he says this, the soldiers behind him begin to scatter like ants, circling around us.
“Our infiltration and subsequent overthrow of the State are reliant on secrecy and cooperation, neither of which you are able to give us.” Clicking his tongue, he adds, “And I can’t very well leave you to run rampant through the Heart.”
He positions himself in front of Ezra, and in a paternal gesture, places a hand on his shoulder. “It’s nothing personal,” he says.
A sad smile twists his lips—a fake expression of sympathy that I don’t buy for a single second.
With no other sentiments to shove in our faces, he retreats toward the farmhouse, taking the majority of his trained dogs along with him. The remaining soldiers train their guns on Ezra and Jenner, ensuring my cooperation.