“Think of the orchard, Ramsey. Think. Believe.”
I couldn’t do what she asked. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around the word. Images of Finn and Zora assaulted my mind, creating a barrier to Aaliyah’s ability. I cried out, louder, in frustration. Please let me see the memory!, I begged. Aaliyah started repeating the word “orchard.” Soon she was almost as loud as my screaming. But the terrible images of blood and fire lingered, resonating within me. The sultry voice of the fire fairy, Finn, echoed in my mind. I shut my eyes tighter, but the pictures wouldn’t go away. I prayed to see the orchard, but I just couldn’t break through the barrier of horror that was blocking me from seeing beauty.
Then, finally, my prayers were answered.
A beautiful image…the orchard fairyland. Sunlight streamed through the trees, making the grass sparkle. Everything was peaceful and serene. The beauty soothed my pain. I saw the plump, ripe fruit, and patches of flowers here and there, and I felt that I could breathe again. Little animals ran around and burrowed deep into their holes. In the distance, I could hear Mac humming his cheerful tune...
I was myself again. I could control my thoughts. I could stop shaking. My sobs continued, but they became quieter and less frequent. I whimpered softly in Stellan’s arms.
“There,” Aaliyah said, releasing my hands from her tight grip.
I instinctively placed them around Stellan’s neck and buried my face in his chest. I wanted to run away from the pain that was slowly departing from me. I wanted to hide from it so it couldn’t come back.
A dull ache still flickered in my heart. I understood it wouldn’t go away until I found Zora. It was crazy, but I decided I wanted this pain to stay for a while; having it would motivate me and make me stronger. I could bear this pain, because it would push me farther than before.
“Thank you, Mother. I don’t know how much more I could have taken. Hearing her like that…it was awful,” Addison said, shivering.
I watched, although my vision was blurred by tears, as Addison covered her face with her hands and fell back onto Zora’s bed.
“Yes, it was, Addison. However, do not blame Zora. She did only what she had to do,” Aaliyah explained quietly.
Stellan remained silent as he focused on soothing me, still rocking me like a small child. I was afraid to meet his eyes. I didn’t like being so vulnerable, but his hand lifted from me as he stroked my sweat-streaked hair, and I let go of my pride, allowing his comfort to soothe and heal me. My eyes closed.
The last thing I heard before falling asleep was, “Everything is okay now.”
No matter how much I wanted to believe Stellan, I knew he was terribly wrong.
~10~
It isn’t Nice to Stare
Sunlight streamed through my window and brutally struck my eyes like a punch to my face. I winced at the brightness and covered my face with my blanket. Could it really be morning already? I focused on the time and realized it was almost five.
Yawning, I sat up in bed and stretched. I had to blink a few times to adjust to the bright light of morning. I was stiff and aching all over. At first, I couldn’t remember why I ached so much. It took a moment for me to remember everything from last night. The realization hit me harder than the sunlight.
I shut my eyes tight. No…the pain won’t come back again, I told myself. I wasn’t so sure of that, though. I placed my right hand on my chest. Nothing there. The Mood Diamond was gone. I guessed Stellan or Addison took it when I fell asleep the night before. I would have to get it back. I still didn’t know where Zora was, so I would have to try again, even though I dreaded what might happen. Nothing mattered except finding Zora. I had to go back and experience the vision again, no matter how painful.
At that moment, however, I was glad I wasn’t wearing the necklace. The terrible vision could not return until it hung around my neck once more. I needed time before I tried again; time to recuperate, gather my thoughts, and collect myself.
I rubbed my eyes, sore from crying the night before, and got out of bed. I had to steady myself to keep from falling over as my feet hit the ground. I shook my head to clear away the dizziness. Last night’s connection with Zora had taken a huge toll on both my body and my mind. I walked quickly to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. The steam I breathed in cleared my head, and the water massaged the tension in my back. If only I could stay in there forever….
It took a good twenty minutes to feel clean again. Even though it had only been a vision, the time with Zora in the dirty room had left me feeling disgusting and unclean. After wrapping myself in a towel and combing my hair, I left the bathroom to get dressed. As I walked into the bedroom, I came face to face with Addison.
Her sudden appearance made me jump. “Holy crap, you scared me!” I gasped, taking two steps back.
“Sorry, Ramsey, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” she said.
Her eyes looked full of worry and concern. She reminded me of my human mother for a brief moment. I had never experienced this side of Addison. I wondered if last night’s occurrences had led to this, or if I just hadn’t noticed the tenderness she had within her until now when I was really paying attention.
“Sorry, I’m easily spooked,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve been here all night,” she said.
My brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”
“You must be really out of it. I stayed in Zora’s bed last night. I couldn’t let you sleep alone. Not after what happened….”
“You don’t need to remind me,” I told her, looking down at the wooden floor beneath my feet.
“I know,” she replied, averting my gaze so we were both looking at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the room.
I sighed and my shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry.”
“About what?” she asked, looking up at me.
“Being like this. Being vulnerable and out of it.”
“It’s not your fault, Ramsey! What happened to you was not your fault.”
“Stop saying that like it’s true, Addison. Stop acting like none of this is my fault. I should have handled it better. I wasn’t prepared. I had no idea….”
“No one can know what a connection is like until they have experienced it. No one,” she emphasized.
“How could you possibly know that?” I asked her.
“I know…because it happened to me,” she said quietly.
Startled, I took a step away from her. “With who?” I wondered aloud.
“My father. He and my mother each had a Mood Diamond once. When he left for war, they used it to keep in touch. Not all connections are bad, Ramsey, as long as you handle them carefully. These connections are used often for long distance relationships. However, they can turn horribly wrong in an instant. One day I took my mother’s diamond and wore it. I missed my father, and wanted to see him again. I hated him being at war and not able to take care of me as he used to. I concentrated on him and a few minutes later, I was in a war zone. There was fighting all around me. Element fairies and elves in a swarm, swords clanking, blood everywhere. The stench of death hung in the air. I saw my father fighting with a water fairy. It was the first and last time I saw him kill someone.”
Addison drew a shaky breath and leaned against the wall for support. I went to put a hand on her shoulder, but thought again and decided not to bother her. Telling this story was difficult for her, and interrupting her in the middle of her thoughts wouldn’t help her finish sooner.
“When he saw me, he ran and scooped me up into his arms. I hugged him tight and told him I wanted to go home. I touched his Mood Diamond by accident. It was then that we truly connected. I found myself seeing through his eyes. I screamed and cried. I wanted so badly to be back at home. I was confused and scared. I was so upset I didn’t see the earth fairy come and shove a rock-sharp spear into my father’s chest.”
Addison was weeping. Large teardrops fell from her eyes and hit the floor. For a moment, it ma
de me feel uncomfortable to see her like that; she usually appeared to be so rock solid and invincible. Then my compassion kicked in when I realized no one could be stone all the time. Vulnerability was just a part of life.
“Addison, I had no idea,” I said. I put my arms around her and then released, knowing now was the time to comfort her. “I’m so sorry.”
She ignored me and continued. I knew she needed to finish before she could succumb to any kind of consoling. “Never before had I experienced that kind of pain. I don’t think I’ll ever experience it again. It wasn’t just the pain of the sword, but also the pain of loss. We fell to the ground, bleeding to death. Except I wasn’t really bleeding. When we parted, I crawled over to him, barely able to stay conscious, and I pressed my hands to his heart to stop the flow of blood. As his eyes closed, I found myself back in my room. To this day, I can still smell his blood on my hands. A ghostly reminder that will never cease to haunt me.”
“You do understand,” I realized.
Addison nodded slowly. “I really do.”
“It’s not your fault, Addison. You were young. You didn’t know.”
“It’s not your fault either, Ramsey. You didn’t know either. You’ve been here only two days. There was no way you could have known.”
I nodded. She was right after all. Nothing but the experience could ever tell you what a connection might end up like.
“I’m going to get dressed. I’ll meet you at your place for breakfast,” I told her.
“Okay,” she said.
Addison walked past me and left the house without another word.
Left standing speechless, I felt guilty and selfish. Here I was complaining about my vision, when Addison had witnessed her father’s death as a young child. I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed, close my eyes, and hide away forever.
Instead, I dressed in tan shorts and a green blouse, put on a pair of brown sandals, grabbed my shoulder bag, and left the house.
Crying wouldn’t save my sister.
***
The house was awkward and silent when I walked in. Addison sat at the table next to Cass, his hand on the small of her back as if to comfort her. His face was stone cold and very serious, more so than I had ever seen. His usual sarcastic smile was gone, replaced with a tight frown and eyes glinted with caution, as if he was preparing himself for anything bad that might happen. He was Addison’s protector, and for a moment, I wondered if he was protecting her from me. Dismissing the thought, I surveyed the rest of the room. Aaliyah sat at the head of the table. She looked like she hadn’t gotten any sleep. Her head hung just above her cup of tea. They all appeared to be lifeless.
Stellan looked like he had been up all night as well. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and his hands shook. He almost didn’t notice me when I walked into the house. It took a few seconds for him to respond. Did I do this to them? Was this my fault? It had to be. I wanted to die. Seeing them like this was torture.
Stellan jumped up from his chair and hurriedly walked over to me. He crushed me against him, his arms wrapped tightly around me as he planted a kiss on my head. Safely in his embrace, I breathed a sigh of relief, and he did the same. I was glad he wasn’t angry with me, but I still felt guilty for making him worry so.
But I wasn’t in his arms long before I began to tremble awkwardly. Even his very touch hurt. Stellan pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. His own were sad and dull. I could feel unwanted tears forming in my eyes. I wiped them away and looked down. He lifted my chin and kissed me gently. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, like the first one we shared outside my house. Rather, it was filled with comfort and the reassurance that he was here to keep me safe.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Addison, Cass, and Aaliyah all watching our encounter. I cleared my throat and stepped away from Stellan. I clasped my hands together and went to take a seat.
Aaliyah got up as soon as I sat and filled a plate of food for me. She must have guessed that I wouldn’t be hungry, because she only put a few pieces of fruit and some bread on the plate. I mouthed a thank you to her and started picking at my meal, but not really eating much of what was on my plate. I couldn’t think of – let alone eat – food at a time like this. Stellan moved to sit beside me.
When I gave up on eating, we sat in silence for many moments. No one knew what to say. Cass finally broke it.
“What exactly happened to you last night, Ramsey? We all want to know. We need to know. I understand it’s hard, but it’s important.”
“I know, Cass,” I replied.
“Don’t make her talk, Cass. She has to decide when to talk,” Addison said, giving me a sympathetic glance. I returned it.
Although Addison and I had very different personas, we were similar in our experiences. We were the only ones in this house who knew how horrible a connection could turn.
“Well, if she doesn’t, Addison, we won’t be able to find Zora,” Cass said sternly.
“Don’t,” I snapped. “Don’t push me, Cass.”
“What? Ramsey, stop being selfish. We need to know what you saw!”
“Cass! How dare you?” Addison cried.
“Don’t call me selfish, Cass!” I shouted. “You weren’t the one to see Zora like that! You didn’t feel all of the pain. I did! You weren’t there. I was! Therefore, if I were you, I would shut up right now. You have no idea what it’s like!”
The anger bubbling inside of me made the pain worse. Soon I was breathing heavily.
“Addison, take Cass home,” Aaliyah instructed.
“I need to be here for Ramsey,” Addison protested.
“Fine, I will. Let’s go, Cass,” Aaliyah demanded.
She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, realizing the mistake he had made.
I didn’t turn to look at him as he left. I didn’t want to see his face, no matter how sorry he was. Stellan was rubbing my back and Addison handed me a glass of water. I drank it and felt better.
“Sorry about the episode there,” I apologized, once I was able to speak again. “I just….”
“It’s okay. Cass understands. It was wrong of him to push you like that,” Addison said soothingly.
“But he’s right. I need to tell you about the vision so we can find Zora. I’m supposed to be helping, not hurting. But that’s all I have been doing…hurting people.”
“Then tell us, but only if you are ready,” Stellan advised.
“I want to,” I said. “I really do.” But I knew my tone of voice was still conveying uncertainty.
“Do you want to wait a while?” Addison asked.
I shook my head. “No, it’s best that I just get it over with now,” I told her, making up my mind.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and told them everything. I told them about the room, about Zora’s condition, and about Finn. I left out the part about the “Realm.” It hadn’t made sense anyway.
Another awkward silence followed. I was getting sick of silence. Stellan held my hand, but it wasn’t enough to make me feel better.
“We have to leave early,” I decided aloud.
“Do you mean to Tarlore?” Stellan asked.
“Yes. Zora doesn’t have much time left. She will be dead soon if we don’t find her.”
“How can you know for sure?” Stellan asked.
“I’m sure because she told me. And I believe my sister,” I told him harshly.
Stellan nodded without saying anything.
“Ramsey is right, Stellan. We have to leave. We must also remember that Ramsey saw a fairy yesterday. It is too dangerous for her here,” Addison agreed.
“What if that was not what she really saw? What if she made a mistake?” Stellan asked.
I sighed. I knew I hadn’t made a mistake. It was obvious to me that Stellan didn’t want to go to Tarlore – although I didn’t know why – and his desperation didn’t make me feel any better.
�
��We can’t take that risk,” Addison said.
Stellan sighed and nodded slowly, realizing he wasn’t going to win this argument – not with two against one. “When do we leave?” he asked.
“We will leave tomorrow morning at five. We need a night’s rest,” Addison replied, looking at me closely.
“Good idea. I’ll get everything ready and let my employer know I’m leaving. After school, you can help,” Stellan said to his sister.
“What should I do?” I asked.
“Try and take it easy,” he advised.
I had no idea what he meant, but I didn’t ask again. I had just remembered what I had to do, and it had nothing to do with taking it easy. However, I wasn’t going to let Stellan or Addison know that.
“Well, I’m going to get out of your way,” I said, getting up.
“I’ll take you home.” Stellan placed his hands in mine and we were in front of my door. Waves of dizziness hit me, adding to my aching joints.
“That is probably not the best thing to do so early in the morning,” I admitted.
He chuckled and bent down to kiss me. I smiled and put my arms around his neck. Kissing him made the ache dull a bit. I tucked a curl of black hair behind his ear.
“See you soon,” I said softly.
“See you,” he said. “Be careful.”
He kissed me quickly on the cheek and vanished before my eyes.
I waited for a moment before heading down the dirt road, just to make sure he wasn’t going to come back. I didn’t want Stellan or Addison knowing I was going to spend my day running around the city. I had a lot to accomplish in a day. We were leaving for Tarlore tomorrow, which moved up all the plans I had been saving for the next few days.
First, I had to stop at the bank. I had no idea if I would need money on this journey, but I had to prepare myself for anything. Then I had to talk to Cass. I wanted to be on speaking terms with him before leaving. I hated keeping grudges. Finally, I needed to go to the bookstore and buy the book on locks. It was time the lock on my secret was broken…literally.
The Elf Girl Page 20