At the rehearsal dinner last night, they decided to surprise Mitch. They gave him five acres on the farm for him and Kayleigh. He can’t have anything to do with the bar, since police officers can’t have liquor licenses in the same county they work in. They moved percentages around in all the other businesses to make it equal. He was shocked and tried to fight it, but they wouldn’t give in.
Colby’s parents made the permanent move to the farmhouse with Amelia. My parents took over my old lease until Mitch and Kayleigh build, and then they will just move in their old house, permanently locating to Tennessee. Even with as much bad that was happening, there was an overabundance of good. The fact that I was about to get a week by myself with my wife in North Carolina was at the top of my ‘good’ list.
We are getting married in Brielle and Colby’s back yard and following with a free-for-all reception. Swimming and buffet foods. I couldn’t be happier and neither could Cambree. Standing at the makeshift altar waiting for this wedding to start is killing me. Cambree dressed all the guys in khaki linen pants with light purple shirts, which the guys gave her hell about. Her girls were in the same color purple sundresses, barefoot. Waiting to see her is killing me.
Once I hear “Say It Again” by Marie Digby start playing, I know it is time. Her entourage is lined up down the aisle all awaiting their turn. If this is not a testament to how easy it is to love her, I don’t know what is. Once Mitch steps forward with her, I can’t peel my eyes off of her. Her dress is made of the softest ivory color and just hangs on her body, fitted but not tight. It has tiny straps that hold it up and no other flash. It could almost pass for a very long nightgown with elegance. I don’t know how to explain it, but she is breathtaking. Just her. After Mitch hands her off to Colby, he joins me, and claps my shoulder, and grins at me. Colby repeats the process when he hands her off to Tyler, and Tyler when he gives her to Dustin. Finally, they get to me. Dustin and her share a minute, and he makes his way to sit with Teryn. She is watching everything with fascination. I have to remember she didn’t have normal, ever.
I can’t believe she is standing in front of me, holding my hand, becoming my wife. We exchange vows, and sadly I don’t remember what I just said, but I know I vowed a long time ago to love her, cherish her, and stand beside her so repeating those same things today doesn’t scare me. Before I realize it the ceremony is over, and she is my wife. I give her a kiss that makes her knees weak and my heart rate accelerate.
We are all itching to change in to swimsuits and just have a blast, but Brielle makes us have our dance first. Carrying with tradition, she is singing, and chose the song. “Love Don’t Run” by Steve Holy. As I hold her in my arms, I realize I get to do this for the rest of my life. I don’t know what I did right, but I thank God. I see her watching me and she asks me quietly, “Do you think Hope is happy for us?” Where did that come from?
“Happier than you could imagine. She would have adored you.” She seems content with that answer “Do you think your grandparents are happy?”
“I know they are all watching together, knowing we couldn’t have chosen any better. I love you.” She gives me the sweetest kiss, and I promise to cherish these moments always.
Epilogue
Cambree
We haven’t been home three weeks from our honeymoon, and I wish we were back there. The ensuing tension with Teryn and her treatments has Dustin broken, and I can’t help him. She has shut him out and he has totally shut down, and the way it went down pisses me off. I get she can’t help what happened, but sometimes I want to shake her. She has so much goodness and purity being offered to her, and she can’t see that. I think I need to go to her counseling sessions and see what the hell is up. Max is working late tonight and so it surprises me when my phone rings so late.
“Hello.”
“C, I need you.” It is Dustin, and he is sobbing. I immediately try to swallow, but I can’t from the lump in my throat.
“Where are you?”
“My room at B’s. It hurts.” That is all he says before he disconnects.
I jump on the golf cart Max just bought us and hurry to the house. I run in the back door and see Brielle and Addison in the kitchen. “What’s wrong?” they ask in unison.
I don’t have time to answer, so I say, “D,” and immediately take-off up the stairs. They are right on my heels. I throw open the door and about fall to my knees with what I see in front of me. The room is neat and tidy, but on the bed is my brother, utterly broken and devastated. None of us say a word as we move to him. I crawl on the bed behind him and wrap my arms around him as his body shakes with sobs. I can’t hold back my own tears. Seeing him break down crushes me. I feel every ounce of pain he does; we all do. Brielle has crawled in front of him, and Addison lays over all of us. We hold him and just try to infuse him with our love and comfort. It isn’t helping.
He is muttering, “She is really gone, she left me.” He doesn’t need to say anything else; we all know what he feels.
Playlist
If I Didn’t Have You Thompson Square
Back Where I Come From Kenny Chesney
The Trouble With Girls Scotty McCreery
I Never Told You Jeff Hendrick
All of Me John Legend
Waiting for Superman Daughtry
Crash My Party Luke Bryan
I’m Moving On Rascal Flatts
Changed Rascal Flatts
Compass Lady Antebellum
Get Me Some of That Thomas Rhett
Stupid Boy Keith Urban
Home Blake Shelton
This is How We Roll Florida Georgia Line
Whatever She’s Got David Nail
Say it Again Marie Digby
Love Don’t Run Steve Holy
Acknowledgements
I never know where to start, so I will start by saying THANK YOU to all the readers. Without your passion for devouring the pages of our words, we wouldn’t be anywhere. Keep reading!
Again, my family and their support, my husband and son . . . and our fur-babies. Sometimes I forget about being a mom and a wife, but they just let it go, and let me keep writing. I love you.
Jen Wildner- I love you, hard, bitch!!!!! You keep me sane, and instead of letting me shed my tears of frustration, you make me shed them out of laughter. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for your friendship and support. Even if I never wrote another word, I have gained an incredible friendship.
Amanda Miller- You made me cry with your review of Not Enough, and through that, we have formed a bond. I love being able to share jokes, sadness, tears, and laughter with you. Your support and friendship has meant the world to me as I have taken this journey.
To my Sassy Sweethearts- The love you have shown to the Parker Sibling Series, is amazing . . . each and every one of you make me smile on a daily basis and I can’t thank you enough for your support.
Taira- my sister! You still are my best friend. We may not always agree on everything, but knowing you will give in and let me have my way makes our disagreements more fun. I love you and thanks for believing in me.
Kiera- You have an amazing heart. Our friendship has evolved and changed so much over the years, but our places in each other’s life is still constant. I am so proud to have you for a friend, a best friend. I love you!
To all the bloggers who selflessly promote and support authors- THANK YOU! You are the reason we succeed. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.
NOT
OVER
Leigh Ann Lunsford
Copyright © 2014 by Leigh Ann Lunsford
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons,
living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The author acknowledges trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication and or use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Edited by Chelsea Kuhel (www.madisonseidler.com)
Cover Design by Kristen Karwan (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kristen-Karwan-Graphics/218090248223049)
Image by CJC Photography
www.cjc-photography.com
Model: Michael John Gadaleta
ISBN 13: 978-1500495817
ISBN 10: 1500495816
Dedication
This concludes the Parker Siblings Series, and as always if not for my husband and son, John and Evan, this would never happen so thank you and I love you.
And . . .
To my real-life hero, my grandfather, Bernard Munsey. You were taken before seeing my dreams come true, but supported any endeavor I took on in life. You taught me many life lessons but the most important –
Prologue
Dustin
Can I get any weaker than I am? I am lying in my bed, surrounded by my sisters, crying like a baby. All because the one girl I allowed in my heart, just left me without a good-bye. Without a see-you-fucking-later. I knew she was pulling away from me for weeks, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
Brielle taking her to counseling by herself was the beginning of the end, but I was too fucking stupid to see it. I believed she needed me as much as I needed her. It went beyond wanting her; I physically needed her. She calmed me; she gave me a reason for being around. My sisters are strong women and always have been. Family is everything to them, and they love me, no doubt; but they don’t need me. Teryn needed me . . . or so I thought.
When Melanie and Cooper showed up for Cambree’s wedding, Melanie went all psycho-babbling-sniffing around Teryn, asking questions like she was a test subject. She lectured me about backing off and how our interactions and relationship weren’t helping her. Who asked her? She was sticking her nose in my business, just like everyone else in my family who thinks they know what is best for Teryn and how I should handle it.
They didn’t see her the day I brought her outside for the first time in sixteen years. They didn’t see her bruised and battered and scared of her own damn shadow. I did that, and I saw the quiet strength she had beneath the surface. She may have been terrified of every sound and mesmerized by the wind blowing in the trees, but she would be damned if she was going to tell you. Her awe drew me to her more than her beauty. And she had the beauty tenfold. With her dark raven hair and porcelain skin, she looked like a china doll; beautiful, fragile, worthy of being cherished.
I can’t be the one to cherish her because she left me. I need to push through like I always have. I used to be the only male in the Parker Sibling bunch, now there is Mitch. I wish he would have been around when I was growing up. Maybe then I would have learned to be strong and move on when life knocks me down. The problem is, Brielle is the ringleader in this crew, and she thinks she can fix anything. I wish she could, because I would give her my heart if I still had one. Instead, it feels like a piece of stone sitting in my chest. I am not even sure I want it to continue beating.
Chapter 1
February 2019
Dustin
Finally going home will be bittersweet. I will miss the time I had with just Teryn, but I miss my family so much. I think they will actually be good with Teryn as long as they don’t try to make her something she isn’t. I would not call her weak, but she isn’t as strong as my sisters. I should say her personality is not as strong, but she is surprisingly fearless. Loud noises make her jump, too much stimulation gives her a headache, and she is still learning to trust me when I reach out to brush her hair off her neck, or put my arm around her. But overcoming what she has been through, not only overcoming it but doing the right thing and turning her father in, took strength that none of us would have. We have always had each other, so when one was hurting, there was back-up. Teryn was alone for eighteen years of her life, and she still doesn’t realize she isn’t alone anymore.
She doesn’t really open up in counseling and that worries me. I don’t know if she is purposely suppressing memories, or they are too painful for her to talk about. She talks about the seclusion, and how she feels like a recluse because she feels everyone knows what she went through. Her social awkwardness does stand out a bit, but I love it; it makes her all the more unique to me. When the counselor asks her about sexual abuse she clams up. You can’t get her to talk about it except to say she is still a virgin. I don’t know what was done to her, or what she saw in that hell. All I can say for sure is that if I could figure out how to do it, I would have that son of a bitch killed in prison. An eye for an eye, even though Teryn is still alive, she hasn’t had a real life in the prison her father created.
The last few sessions she talks about wanting to see Brent. She wants answers about her mother; is she alive? Who is she? I don’t think that is a good idea. She isn’t ready to see him, and I don’t know what his vile words would do to her. I will do everything in my power to protect her. She should never suffer from what that man does to her ever again. I was quite vocal about it, and she dropped it. I think she realized I had her best interest in mind, and when the counselor brought it up last week, Teryn told her now was not the time.
Now as we are pulling up to our land, I see she is getting anxious. She has the telltale signs, biting her lip, playing with her hair, not sitting still, and rapid breathing. She doesn’t vocalize fear or anxiousness, but I can tell.
“Teryn, it will be okay. They will love you, and if you aren’t comfortable around them, I will make them leave you alone.”
She gives me a weak smile, “From what you have said, they wouldn’t listen to you, anyway. But, please don’t make them be my friends. My father has done unspeakable things to your family.”
Her words are impeccable, but she doesn’t ever stop taking on her father’s sins. She is right. My sisters won’t listen to me. But friends? “They won’t be your friends. Once you are accepted, you become family. It is just the way we work.”
“That is quite confusing.” She shakes her head at me. It is confusing to her, as she has never had friends or family to take her back. Relationships are foreign to her. She is used to the brutal fists and words she was raised with. Telling her that isn’t normal, and making her believe it, are two different things. She knows it isn’t normal, but that is all she has to base life on. I am determined to show her a different way. I want her to feel safe with me . . . always. With my family’s help, I want her to experience life with us, security, compassion, loyalty, love, and the crazy we all embrace. I want to give her that. Thinking of how she will flourish under our help brings a smile to my face that I can’t hide.
“What?” she asks me.
“Just thinking I am glad to be home, with you. I want to see this through your eyes.”
“Well, there are a lot of trees. And land. The house is pretty.” I can’t help but laugh at her. She is so matter of fact. Her words reflect the obvious, but never what she feels. It is almost as if she is afraid to feel, or she is programmed to not feel. The counselor explained it to me, and I understood. Because her feelings never mattered in life, and any time she showed weakness or vulnerability her father attacked them, she has compartmentalized everything. The counselor said she has “boxes” she has stored inside her and until she is ready to lift the lid on them we need to let her process things as she is comfortable.
“I meant how you feel about meeting my family, seeing the home I was raised in, the dynamics of our relationships, they can all be a bit overwhelming, I know. I want to be able to experience that with you. See those things through your eyes. Feelings, the things you refuse to acknowledge. You know you can trust me, Teryn. I won’t let anything hurt you again.”
“I know. Sometimes I even
believe it too, Dustin.”
She breaks my heart with her sadness and insecurities. The problem is they were ingrained into her. She knows nothing else. I hope bringing her here is not going to overwhelm her. I want her to experience normal for once. Well, my normal I should say. Nobody else would consider my family normal. This family right here is beyond couch time. We are certifiable, but we embrace it.
I walk over and help her out of the car, noticing she is shying away from my touch but won’t put more than a few inches between us. I hate that she always walks behind me, never at my side. I have lost count of how many times I have asked her to walk beside me, and she ignores me or acts like I have asked the most perplexing task of her. Again, the counselor explained to me that she has a submissive personality. It may not always be like that, but she doesn’t like to “rock the boat” and following is what she was made to do, and that is another habit she has to break.
I just hope in trying to heal her, I don’t break her further. I love all her quirks and don’t want her to change too much. I just want her to have some faith and pride in herself. The rest is pure perfection. Hopefully my family thinks so, because they are about to meet the girl that has changed me. The one girl that could change me into the man I want to be.
Chapter 2
Teryn
I feel like I am going to be sick. I used to be able to push my feelings down, never think of them. That isn’t true; my feelings never mattered, therefore, they had no place in the forefront of my mind. In just a few short months that has changed. Now everyone wants me to talk about my feelings and my past. It is overwhelming. I don’t know how to process this. My counselor says even though I am eighteen, speak eloquently, and had proper online schooling, I still cope and deal as somewhat of an adolescent. It isn’t that I don’t want to talk about what happened to me, I just don’t know where to start, and I don’t want Dustin to hear what I endured. I like the way he looks at me. I don’t have to be afraid of him like I was of my father’s friends. If he looks at me differently when he finds out what happened all those years, I don’t know if I could survive. Some days I already struggle to wake up and go on; this world is a scary place when I am not locked up behind the walls of my childhood dungeon. Out here I have to talk to people and try and be normal, that is a struggle in itself. I am worried about saying the wrong thing, reacting to a situation the wrong way. The counselor and Dustin assure me I am doing fine and that I should keep going, but there are some days I feel like I may explode. So I keep burying the secrets and pain down further. I feel like I am choking on them.
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