by K. Sterling
“I know. But he made me sound like a porn star and that’s just not me.” He set Avery’s shoes by the dresser and watched as Linda pulled the duvet over him.
“I never thought you were, dear.” She said as she took his arm. “I’m sure Ben’s got dinner ready, let’s go eat.” Linda smiled up at Mason as she pulled the door shut. “You know, I’d be willing to bet you that I got around more in college than you did.” She said. Mason tripped as he looked down at her in shock. She smiled as she patted his arm. “Are you all right?” He shook his head.
“No. I’m terrified, if I’m honest.” Mason mumbled.
“Terrified?” Linda laughed and Mason nodded as he frowned.
“Yes. One day soon, you're going to meet my mother and the world as we know it will be over.”
Chapter 22
Traveling back to New York was easier with Avery on Xanax. Mason had to grab his arm a few times to keep him from wandering off but other than that, it was like guiding a zombie through a carnival. Avery said almost nothing, nodding faintly when asked questions and refused to eat.
“I’m not taking any more of these pills.” Avery mumbled flatly as he sipped ginger ale. “I don’t care if I freak out and rip my face off. I don’t want to feel like this.” He said. Mason sighed and rubbed Avery’s thigh.
“You were a mess yesterday, Avery. And I’m not talking about after the Valium. You couldn’t breathe and you looked like you might hurt yourself.” He said gently. Avery shook his head.
“This needs to wear off and I need to deal with it.” Avery’s voice was hollow and weak. Mason hated that Avery seemed so far away. Avery looked at Mason, his eyes were so heavy and dull. “I can’t feel anything from the waist down. I don’t care if I lose my mind and it hurts, its better than this. Not wanting you or being able to get it up isn’t better than panic attacks and binge cleaning. In fact, it’s more depressing and it could make me suicidal.” He said. Mason’s lips twisted as he tried to figure out if the last part was a joke. It was all one long monotoned ramble. Mason had to admit that Avery had a point. He could suffer just about anything but being impotent and losing his desire for Avery would be unbearable.
“Fine, no more pills. For now. If you get home and start having a major panic attack, you’re taking them.” Mason said.
Avery nodded faintly and looked out the window for the rest of the flight. He was docile and distant when Marla found them and silently waited as they drove home. Mason watched him closely for any signs of anxiety. Avery should have taken another Xanax during the flight and Mason was worried it would start to wear off before they got home.
Mason felt Marla hold her breath when he unlocked Avery’s door and swung it wide. They let him go first, holding hands as they followed him through the door. Mason craned his neck, looking for any signs of disturbance in the apartment as they made their way to the bathroom. Everything looked exactly as it always did. A bead of sweat rolled down Mason’s temple when Avery flicked the light switch in the bathroom and he squinted at the flare of bright white and waited impatiently for his eyes to adjust. Marla drew closer as Avery walked into the bathroom and looked around. Mason leaned forward and stuck his head through the door. The tension that knotted his shoulders released and he exhaled loudly in relief. It looked as if nothing had happened.
“Avery?” Mason said softly. “What are you thinking?” He asked. Avery shook his head as he turned and his eyes were darting all over the place.
“The tiles are off and I don’t like whatever they used to clean it with.” He whispered distractedly before he reached for the hand towels to his left. He pulled them off the bar and dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around the pile of towels on the shelf under the sinks. “I need to get these in the washer.” He mumbled as he stood up. Mason slid Marla a frown and stepped toward Avery.
“They’re all clean. Everything looks perfect, Avery.” He insisted as he placed his hands on Avery’s shoulders. Avery shook his head and pulled away.
“I have to fix this.” He said firmly as he stepped to the side and rushed into the closet to the washer. Mason turned to Marla and she bit her lip and shrugged nervously. Avery walked back in a moment later with a bucket containing a spray bottle and folded wash cloths. Mason stopped him and pulled him into his arms.
“Avery, you don’t need to do anything. Everything is clean.” Mason ducked his head and looked for Avery’s eyes. Avery’s lips pulled tight and his eyes were restless.
“I have to do this, Mason.” He whispered urgently. “I can see fingerprints, everywhere. It’s like they’re glowing all around me. In here and everywhere out there. I can feel all the people and everything smells wrong.” Avery swallowed and his eyes darted around Mason’s head. Marla moaned as she leaned against the door frame.
“Avery, honey, I swear this place is clean. I watched them do it with my own eyes. I made sure they were thorough. You need to go to Mason’s and relax.” She pushed from the wall and reached for the bucket. Avery stepped back and pulled it to his chest. Mason took a deep breath as he let his eyes scan the walls around him. It was immaculate but Avery was right, it didn’t smell the way it was supposed to. There was the smell of drywall, a hint of body odor and a citrus based cleaner. Mason nodded as he turned to Marla.
“We need to let him, Marla.” He said and her head whipped around to his in shock. Mason shrugged and pushed his hands in his pockets. “It won't feel right and he won’t be able to relax until he’s done it himself.” He stepped back and leaned against the wall as he gave Avery a hard look.“You have four hours. Then, I’m taking you next door.” Mason waited until Avery nodded before he turned and left the bathroom. Marla caught up with him in the hallway.
“You’re sure this is a good idea?” She asked warily. “What if he can’t stop?” Marla hissed. Mason shook his head and put his arm around her shoulders.
“He’ll stop. He needs to do this to reclaim control. Once he cleans everything, he’ll feel better.” He kissed Marla on the cheek and opened the door. “Try to enjoy the rest of your weekend. You’ve been amazing.” Mason said as he followed her out. She blinked up at him in confusion.
“You’re going to leave him? Alone?” Marla asked. Mason nodded as he pushed her away from Avery’s door.
“Yes. He could use a little time alone and I need to go grocery shopping. I’m going to make my man something fabulous for dinner and a chocolate cake. He loves chocolate cake.” He winked at her and her mouth fell open.
“I hope you’re right about all of this.” Marla shook her head in dismay. Mason smiled as he leaned against his door.
“This is part of who he is. I don’t want to change him, Marla. I just have to make sure it’s healthy and he’s not hurting himself. I think this is what he needs. If I’m wrong, and he won’t stop by dinner time, I’ll force a Xanax down his throat and lock him in my bedroom. Which is exactly where we’d be if I tried to stop him now.” He gave her a pointed look and her shoulders sagged as she nodded.
“Fine. Call me if you need me.” Marla grumbled as she rose on her tiptoes and kissed Mason’s cheek. “Thanks for taking such good care of him.” She whispered. Mason laughed softly as he hugged her.
“That’s my job now, I have to.” He said.
Hours later, Mason pulled Avery’s body against his and pushed his face into the corner of Avery’s neck. He breathed him in and sighed as he forced his body to relax around Avery’s. Mason wrapped his arm around Avery and pressed his hand against his chest. His heart was beating, soft and steady against Mason’s palm.
It had worked. When Mason let himself into Avery’s apartment, four hours later, he was lining up the bottles of water in his fridge, relaxed and happy. But, Jesus, did he reek of bleach. Mason made him take shower at his place before dinner. Avery barely touched his lamb chops and couscous but he ate two pieces of Black Forest Cake before he yawned and stumbled off to bed.
When Mason came to be
d an hour later, Avery was passed out. Mason focused on their successes and ignored the way his body tightened and his hardening cock. Avery was happy and comfortable in his apartment again. He wouldn’t need the pills anymore. Which meant he would want to have sex again in a few days. Stop. Don’t think about it, Mason scolded. Their trip to Virginia ended up being really enjoyable; Avery’s dad was making a swift recovery, Mason and Avery’s parents had become close and already felt like family, Avery gave Mason a romantic tour of Richmond, they had a lot of sex before The Bathroom Debacle… Seriously. Quit thinking about sex, he insisted and forced his mind back to the other things that went right. He and Avery were closer and Mason understood him better. Dinner had been excellent. The lamb chops were cooked to perfection. While the cake wasn’t a logical pairing, Avery had been sedately orgasmic over the chocolate, cherries and whipped cream. Shit. Mason groaned as he rolled onto his back and shoved his hands into his hair.
He stared at the ceiling for several moments, willing his body to relax and his brain to stop torturing him. Just knock one out. You’re not going to be able to sleep until you do, Mason’s inner teenager pointed out. He sighed as he turned his head and looked at Avery. Mason made himself promise to be very quiet as he pushed his pajama pants down, over his hips. His cock caught on the waistband and throbbed when it sprang free and thudded against his stomach. He gave it a firm squeeze, enjoying the feel of it pulsing in his grip.
Mason threw his other arm over his eyes and started to stroke. Slowly, keeping his touch loose and light as he imagined Avery standing over him, in his suit and loosening his tie. Mason shivered and breathed Avery’s name. Avery’s eyes clung to Mason’s body as he shrugged out of his coat and went to work on the buttons of his shirt. Mason kept stroking gently as Avery slowly stripped, piece by piece, his sleek, perfect suit fell away until Avery stood naked and hungry above him. Mason tightened his grip as Avery kneeled onto the bed and crawled over Mason’s body. Avery’s tongue slid up Mason’s cock and swirled around the head as Mason’s hand started to pull faster. Mason exhaled and inhaled Avery’s name as Avery’s mouth covered his and he straddled Mason’s waist. He squeezed his erection tight and stroked faster as his hips started to twitch upward. Avery grabbed Mason’s cock and held it as he lowered himself, slowly taking Mason’s length deep into his hot, clenching ass. Mason’s hand was sliding fast and tight over his rigid shaft when he felt actual fingers glide up his thigh. He froze and held his breath as a hand closed around his sack and squeezed gently.
“Don’t stop.” Avery whispered. Mason pulled his arm back from over his eyes and turned his head. Avery’s face was next to his and he smiled drowsily as he rubbed his lips against Mason’s. “Keep going. Finish.” He commanded as he caressed Mason’s balls.
Mason groaned and started stroking again. Heat and pressure was building in his groin and Mason knew it wouldn't take long. Having Avery next to him, touching him and urging him on was hotter than he could have imagined. Why hadn’t he ever jerked off in front of Avery before?
“Were you imagining your cock in my ass, Mason?” Avery whispered. The words were hot and wet in Mason’s ear and goosebumps washed down Mason’s body. “It feels so good when you’re fucking me. You’re so fucking good.” He murmured. That’s why. Who jerks off when they can do that?
“Oh, God, Avery!” Mason gasped as pleasure twisted and coiled and his sack started to tighten. “I love fucking you.” He moaned as he felt the pressure building. Avery’s breath was huffing, like steam against his skin as his tongue flicked at Mason’s ear.
“Mmmm…” He hummed deep and long. “And I love fucking you. As soon as I’m able to, I’m going to fuck you so hard, Mason.” Avery bit Mason’s ear lobe and sucked before releasing it. “And I’ll have so much come built up, I might have to fuck you twice. Do you want me to fill your tight, hot ass with my come?” Avery whispered.
Mason tried to nod but his hips bucked of the bed and his eyes rolled back as the pressure exploded and burst up the length of his shaft as pleasure and heat ripped through his body. He froze, arched and stretched, his jaw clenched as he swallowed a scream. Mason’s body started to shake as he fell back onto the bed. Avery pressed gentle kisses to Mason’s ear, cheek, neck and shoulder until Mason’s body calmed. Then, he released a frustrated sigh and rolled onto his back. Avery wrapped his arms around his head and groaned.
“There’s nothing, Mason.” Avery said flatly. “Any other time and I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth or ass away from your cock. That was beautiful and ridiculously hot and I can’t feel anything.” He complained. His head fell to the side and he stared at Mason. “I don’t care if you think I’m going to chew through my wrists, no more drugs.” Avery’s eyes were hard as they held Mason’s.
“I’m sorry, I know you’re frustrated right now but it won’t be forever. I think it was the right thing to do at the time.” He rolled onto his side and tried to use his thumb to brush away the frown that pulled at Avery’s lips. Avery shook his head and rolled away from him.
“You don’t know how frustrating this is. And it’s not just about the sex. I was incapacitated. I couldn’t even control my body. I woke up, face down in my own drool, Mason.” Avery’s body was tense and Mason squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as guilt gnawed at him. He went to reach for Avery and frowned when he felt a cool, wet trickle slide down his stomach. Mason rolled from the bed and went to the bathroom. He remembered the way Avery looked on his parents’ patio, struggling to breathe, his eyes wild and desperate as his lips turned blue. Mason ran a damp cloth over his stomach and shook his head as he tossed it in the laundry basket.
“No. Fuck that, Avery.” He said as he strode toward the bed. Avery rolled onto his back and rose on his elbows. His brows pulled together and his mouth fell open. Mason pointed at Avery. “You don’t know how hard that was for us. You were falling apart and you couldn’t breathe. There was no way to bring you back from that. Your mother is a damn good doctor and I’ll never second guess her. Especially when it comes to you. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen someone you love suffocating but it’s a hell of a lot worse than hearing them bitch about not getting a hard-on. And then, I had to pull you together and get you back to New York. I’m sorry that it sucks right now, I truly am. But as soon as you said you didn't want the Xanax and you sounded like you had your shit together enough, I listened.” Mason crossed his arms over his chest and waited as Avery processed everything he’d said. Finally, Avery nodded.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He said as he rolled back onto his side. “Now, come back to bed.” Avery commanded. Mason smiled in relief as he crawled onto the bed and settled behind Avery. He kissed Avery’s neck and sighed as he let his body relax and curve around his.
“I love you.” Mason whispered. Avery’s hand closed over his.
“I love you too.” He said softly.
Chapter 23
“Get ready, we’re going out.” Avery said when Mason opened the door. Mason frowned as Avery passed and made his way back to Mason’s bedroom. Mason shut the door and followed.
“We just got back, are you sure you’re ready to go out?” Mason found Avery in his closet, flipping through his shirts. Avery tilted his head and smiled.
“I’m fine. But this isn’t about me. I put a lot of stress on you this last week and you were incredible. You need to get out and have some fun.” Avery pulled a shirt and nodded. “This?” He asked as he held a baby blue shirt against Mason’s chest. Mason looked down and shrugged.
“It’s fine but I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done.” He said. Avery shook his head as he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Mason’s lips.
“You went above and beyond and you saved me from myself. I could have spiraled over my dad or the plumbing disaster and I’d probably be sitting in my bathroom, sick from bleach fumes, right now.” He raised his brow and dared Mason to deny it. Mason rolled his eyes as he grabbed a pair
of jeans.
“Where are we going?” He asked as he tossed the clothes on the bed.
“Some club called Gloss.” Avery said as he checked out Mason’s belts. Mason was pulling off his shirt and stopped.
“We’re going to a nightclub? You hate nightclubs. And we’ll be in line all night, waiting to get in.” Mason argued.
“I’ll be fine. Marla took care of everything. We’re going for sushi with her, Nancy and Wilson first. Dr. Dave is meeting us later. Now, get moving.” Avery commanded as he tossed a belt on the bed. Mason shrugged and reached for pair of black Prada leather sneakers. Avery’s brows went up and Mason smiled.
“If I’m going to Gloss, with Nancy, then I’ll be dancing a lot.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the laundry basket and went to work on his slacks. His head snapped up and his eyes were wide. “Nancy and Marla.” He whispered. Avery gasped.
“What have I done?” Avery wondered if he needed to put the authorities on alert. “It won’t be that bad, right?” He asked as Mason went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.
“We need to warn Wilson.” Mason said before he got in.
Two hours later, Avery, Mason, Nancy, Wilson and Marla were being led to a VIP booth in Gloss. After gorging themselves on sushi and drinking too many sake bombs, the party was already off to a rowdy start. Marla and Nancy were arm in arm, making plans to visit a tattoo parlor after Gloss. Wilson looked nervous as he followed.
“Nancy can do whatever she wants but as God is my witness, I am not getting a tattoo.” Wilson yelled as he sat next to Avery. He’d apologized profusely through dinner about letting Ryan talk him into an invite to Nancy’s party. It took most of dinner to convince him that it hadn’t been that big of a deal. Nancy dropped onto Wilson’s lap and shrugged out of her cardigan.
“I hope you two don’t mind, I’m going to drag Mason on the dance floor and dry hump the hell out of him.” She warned as she looked from Avery to Wilson. Avery was more curious than concerned and Wilson shrugged as he reached for his drink.