by Rhonda Helms
He gave a guilty start then looked up at me. “Oh, it’s fine. Sorry. Guys are blowing up my phone. You know how it goes.” He rested it on his thigh then draped his forearms on the table as he locked his gaze on me. “So, what were we talking about?”
I bit back a sigh and forced myself to say in as relaxed a tone as possible, “Your trip. You were telling me how skiing was.”
“You’ve never been, right?”
I nodded.
The waiter, a tall, slender man in his fifties, came over. He gave us a warm smile. “Are you ready for me to take your lunch order?”
“I think I’ll get…the steak burger with truffle fries,” West declared as he patted his flat stomach. He winked at me. “Medium, please. I’ll have to do some extra reps at the gym tonight to work it off, but hell, it’s the holidays. I can indulge once in a while.”
“I’ll have the same,” I said. “That sounds good.”
The waiter nodded then left our table. I chewed on my thumbnail. The swirl of tension in my gut wouldn’t go away, even though West was giving me his undivided attention now. What the hell was my problem?
Oh, gee, could it be the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about Bianca’s allegation? Of the mental image of my boyfriend touching another girl, kissing her, having sex with her?
“What’s wrong?” West asked me, a frown marring his perfect brow. “You seem off.” A flash of something crossed his face for a moment. “Everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah. It’s all fine.” I wasn’t going to tell him my concerns, especially since there wasn’t anything to say. I was pretty sure West knew that Bianca didn’t like him—no love lost between those two. And I didn’t want to admit that she’d gotten under my skin with her accusation.
It was going to be so mortifying to visit Kyle tomorrow to tell him to call off the dogs, so to speak. Not to mention any time I was around him, I wanted to choke him within five minutes. The guy’s ego was healthy and growing bigger every time I saw him. But it was a necessary evil.
We made small talk for another few minutes. West told me about which cars had sold the best during the holiday rush, and I politely nodded. I had to admit that I didn’t find his job that exciting. But I knew he wouldn’t find my stories about the elderly folk at my nursing home entertaining either.
“—everyone else,” West was saying. “Gonna get a great end-of-year bonus because of it.”
I made myself snap to attention. Given the satisfied grin on his face, he was gushing about doing something awesome. “Good for you!” I exclaimed.
“We should celebrate.”
His phone buzzed—apparently he’d set it on vibrate. He glanced down at it then began typing. Chuckled. Typed more.
My throat grew tighter and tighter with all the tension in my body. Before I realized what I was doing, I stood and walked on stiff legs toward the restroom.
“Natalie?” West said, but I kept going.
When I got inside, I darted into a bathroom stall and sat down on the lid. Drew in slow breaths, exhaled in an attempt to shake this feeling off. Why was this stuff bothering me so much right now? Normally I didn’t get that worked up when West was glued to his phone. I just rolled my eyes then made some kind of crack about it. He’d give a good-natured shrug, put the phone away in his pocket and that would be that.
But today, every one of his flaws was jumping right to the front of my attention. The way he’d over-flexed as he’d moved, like he’d been making sure everyone in the restaurant could see his gym muscles, or smoothed his hair down every five minutes. Checking out his reflection in every polished surface. His constant attention to whomever he was texting. How he hadn’t tried to finish a conversation or asked me how my Christmas had been.
And throbbing right underneath it was my argument with Bianca last night, like a toothache that wouldn’t go away. But I knew West. He wouldn’t treat me that way. He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t unfaithful.
A toilet flushed beside me, and I jumped. Smothered a guilty, nervous laugh then got out of the bathroom and eyed myself in the mirror.
The problem was, despite whatever Bianca had done, something she’d said last night had been dead-on right. I could pretend everything was okay all day long. But truth was, things weren’t. I wasn’t happy, and I couldn’t keep ignoring my feelings.
Even if West were totally faithful, it didn’t change the fact that I didn’t feel in love with him the way I should. The way I wanted to. We barely kissed anymore, much less had sex. Eight months of steady dating had started to fizzle, and it was pretty much just my desperation keeping us together.
Why was I doing this?
I splashed cold water on my flushed cheeks and made myself really think about it. Was this what I wanted? I remembered how it had been when we’d first started dating. West made me feel special. I had his full attention back then, knew he was into me without any doubt. It hadn’t been until a couple of months ago that things started going south. That I’d started seeing him less and less.
The woman in the stall beside me got out and washed her hands. She gave me a polite nod then left me alone in the bathroom.
I needed to go back out there, but I felt unsteady, scared. I still cared about West—that much was true. Maybe I should just talk to him about my concerns. Let him know I needed more than this. We hadn’t had much chance for deep conversation lately, and I hadn’t pushed the issue, not wanting to add more stress to his life. If he didn’t know what was bothering me, we couldn’t work on it.
I fortified myself then exited the bathroom and sat back down at the table. Our food was already there, but West’s sat in front of him untouched. His eyes were locked on me as I rested one hand in my lap. I was too nervous to eat.
“We need to talk,” I said in a shaky tone.
He reached over, and the real panic in his eyes made my heart squeeze as he gripped the tips of my other hand’s fingers. “Babe, what’s wrong? I’m worried.”
I dragged in a breath. “I’m worried too. Because things haven’t been that great between us lately, West, and…I’m not really happy.” My eyes began to get hot, and I blinked the threatening tears away. I wasn’t going to cry in here, even though my chest was tightening with those unshed tears.
Dignity, I told myself. Don’t break down. Be honest, but don’t throw it all out there. Stay in control.
He stiffened, his hand clenching mine even tighter. “I don’t wanna break up,” he declared. I’d never seen him like this, with a wild, freaked look in his eyes. West was rarely one to get rattled, and something about his passionate reaction dug under my skin. “We can work this out. Just tell me what you need.”
The vise around my chest loosened a fraction. Everything, from his voice to his eyes to his body language, screamed sincerity. Maybe he really had been clueless before, but he was listening to me right now. His phone vibrated, but he ignored it.
“We need to be together more,” I said. “Without interruptions. Without me feeling like you had to schedule me in out of obligation. And we need to talk. Really talk—not just about boring everyday stuff, but getting to know each other. I want to feel important and special, but I’m on the fringes of your life right now, only around when you can spare the time.”
He exhaled through his nose, and I saw the defensiveness in his jerky posture. “I’ve been super busy.”
“I know you have. But if this is going to work, you need to make time for me. I have to feel like a priority too.” Wow. Letting those locked-down words fly out of me was freeing. I’d never spoken to him like this before.
He was silent for a long time, but his eyes spoke volumes. My heart thudded hard with each passing second. “You’re right,” he finally said. The reply was simple but powerful. “I promise to do better. I’ll make sure you know how important you are to me. Starting right now.” With those words, he got up and moved his chair then his food and drink to my side..
I gave a tremulous smile, my chest explodin
g with emotion. He was listening. Really listening. Maybe for the first time ever since we’d started dating.
“Don’t give us on us,” he whispered as he dropped his hand onto my thigh and stroked my jean-clad legs.
I waited for that old, familiar sexual stirring to hit me from his touch, but it didn’t come. Probably because I was so stressed out and emotional about our relationship. Still, I took comfort in the gesture and rested my hand on his. “Okay. I’m here, and I’m staying.”
He looked at me with relief and affection in his eyes then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thank you. I have a surprise for you, by the way.”
“Really? What?”
“I made some swank reservations for us for New Year’s Eve.”
I clapped in happiness as the tears in my eyes faded away. “Where?”
He gave me that familiar crooked grin of his that always warmed my chest. “It’s a surprise. I’m not telling you. But you’ll love it.”
“I can’t wait.”
With that, he dug into his burger with gusto. Apparently, all this relationship talk had stimulated his appetite. I chewed on my fries—definitely the right choice. The truffle oil made them decadent.
“Just wait, babe,” he said as he winked at me. “New Year’s Eve is going to be a night you’ll never forget.”
The last bit of weight on my chest dissolved away. Before we’d even had this conversation, West had been planning a surprise for me. How could I have believed Bianca’s accusation about him? Boy, was I glad I hadn’t said anything to him. All it would have done was pit us against each other. And for what purpose?
I bit into my burger and moaned as I chewed. Oh man, it was so good.
West nudged me with his shoulder. “If you like that piece of meat…” He waggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated leer.
A laugh burst out. When was the last time he’d cracked a dirty joke at me? Things were definitely getting back to normal. I popped a fry in my mouth. What I needed to do was a good old-fashioned seduction. Wasn’t going to happen right now, since I had to leave for work right after this meal.
But next week, I was going to knock his socks off. Get us back on the path and make things right between us again.
Chapter Three
The old doorbell chimed; I could hear its tone resonate through the large Victorian home-turned-business. A freezing winter wind whipped down the street, and I tugged my coat a little closer to my body. December in Ohio was pretty brutal this year. We’d already had record snowfall since end of November.
I stomped on Kyle’s porch and willed him to answer the damn door faster. My fingers were turning numb, and I could barely feel the tips of my nose and ears.
Finally, the wooden door opened, and there stood Kyle, peering down at me over his nose. His blond hair stirred in the air. He blinked and fixed those bright eyes on me. “Natalie,” he said smoothly, “what a surprise. You’re the last person I expected to darken my doorstep.”
I rubbed my arms as the cold began to seep through my coat and chill my body. “Can I come in, please? I’m freezing out here.” Puffs of breath came out as I spoke.
He sighed, and it looked for a moment like he was actually debating whether or not to be a gentleman. But he finally opened the door and, with a wide wave of his arm, said in a sardonic tone, “Please. Come right in.”
It was so hard to not comment on the insincerity in his voice, but I wanted to just get this done and not have to stress about it anymore. Over the last couple of days, Bianca had sent me, like, five hundred texts asking me to call her. Until I called this stupid thing off, though, I didn’t want to return her messages. I was kinda afraid I’d say something that might actually damage our friendship. Because I was still rather angry about it.
Kyle closed the door behind me, and I stepped into the foyer. A grand staircase right in front of me led to the next floor. Hard to believe this gorgeous house was now being used as a business. From what I understood though, Kyle lived in the upstairs quarters as the home’s caretaker and the main employee of the business. Lucky jerk.
He stepped in front of me then stopped. The guy was so tall I had to crane my neck a bit to look into his eyes. There was a wariness in them as he stared at me. “So what is it you want, Natalie?”
Blunt as ever. Kyle had always been like that though. I’d known him since elementary school.
I called up every reserve in me for politeness. It was hard, but I forced a smile. “I’d like to talk about a recent case you took on.”
He didn’t say anything, the only change on his face a slightly quirked brow.
“You know. The one Bianca hired you for.”
Still not a word.
Frustration simmered in my chest. “God. It’s about West, my boyfriend. Do you remember?” I huffed a sigh. “Are you purposely trying to be irritating, or am I just lucky today?”
“I guess I save it all up for these special moments with you,” he said drolly. “Can I get you something to drink?”
I stopped at the sudden conversation change, thrown off track. “Um. Okay?”
Kyle spun around and moved into the kitchen. I heard the water faucet going then the sound of a gas stove turning on. Was he making…tea?
I stood awkwardly in the entrance, unsure what to do. Was I supposed to follow him?
He popped his head out of the kitchen. “I doubt your arm is long enough to reach your drink from out there.”
I rolled my eyes as I went into the kitchen and took a seat at the large round wooden table. The room was cozy, a soft yellow paint with pristine white cabinets, bright knickknacks scattered across the countertops. In the middle of the table was a pair of ceramic salt shakers molded into two tiny golden chicks. A strangely inviting place for such an off-putting guy. The room was warm, so I took my coat off and rested it over the back of my chair.
Kyle grabbed two mugs from the cabinet and plopped one in front of me then another at the chair opposite. My mug said “World’s Okayest Detective.” I had to admit that my lips curved at the corners when I read it.
With effortless movement, he slipped into the seat across from me, forearms draped on the table, fingers drumming on its surface as he waited for the kettle on the stove to brew. Even with an air of just not giving a shit, he was attractive. And that was probably the part that pissed me off the most. Because Kyle knew he was good-looking and it fed into his ego.
His hair was a dusky blond, unstyled but still effortlessly attractive with enough curl to make a girl want to run her fingers through it. His brows were strong and notable, adding to his prominent cheekbones and sleek nose. And those eyes… They saw right into you, and whenever he looked at me, I felt like he found me lacking. Like I’d been judged and deemed not worth his time. It was the same look he’d been giving me since we were kids. Which was ridiculous, since he was the one who’d started our acquaintance on a bad foot by throwing my lunch box out the bus window.
“So what exactly are you here for?” he asked in a lazy drawl.
I licked my lips and tried to not fiddle with my fingers. With a straight spine, I said, “Bianca told me the other day that she hired you to investigate my boyfriend, West. She said she believes he’s cheating on me. However, I believe she’s wrong, and I’d like you to call off this farce.”
His brow gave the faintest twitch, but that was the only reaction I got out of him. His voice was level as he said, “And how does she feel about it? You know, since she’s the one paying me and all.”
“Frankly? I don’t care.” I could hear the sting of hurt in my voice and tried to fight it back.
I’d promised myself that I wasn’t going to get emotional with him. I was going to be as professional as possible. After all, this wasn’t exactly his fault. Bianca had sought him out, not the other way around. She was the one I had the issue with, not him.
I drew in a steadying breath and continued. “She and I haven’t discussed it much yet, but I’m certain she’ll agree w
ith me that it’s unneeded.”
“I see.”
“He’s not cheating,” I added. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Okay.”
I frowned. Before I could say anything else, the tea kettle began to sing. Kyle slid out of his seat, grabbed the kettle and poured hot water into my mug, then his. He brought over a collection of tea bags, a few packets of sugar and a spoon on a plate.
I took an Earl Grey bag and got it steeping. Poured in sugar then stirred the liquid with the spoon. When I wrapped my still-chilly hands around the mug, I sighed in pleasure. I had to admit that it was nice of him to have made tea for me, especially since I was in essence firing him from his job. I happened to know from word of mouth that business wasn’t so booming lately. No, I didn’t like the guy. But I didn’t want to be the one to put him out of business or anything.
“So…you’re okay with this, then?” I asked in a tentative tone. Took a sip of my tea and sighed again. It was hot and delicious.
He shrugged. “It’s your life.” He wrapped his lean fingers around the mug, and I found myself staring at his knuckles. Kyle didn’t flex or primp or stare at himself the way West did. He just…was. Obviously he was so confident in his looks that he didn’t need to continually check himself out. “But can I ask you a question?”
My guard went up. “Sure, I guess.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” He blew on the tea then drank, eyes locked on mine over his plain green mug.
I bristled. “Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Have you noticed any strange behavior in your boyfriend lately?”
I swallowed. No way was I going to get into this with Kyle. Though now that he’d brought it up, I couldn’t help but mentally replay the change in my relationship in the last couple of months. West had gone from affectionate and attentive to emotionally distant and unlike himself. If that wasn’t strange, I didn’t know what was.
Undeterred, he continued. “Has the guy been blowing hot and cold? Eager to see you then brushing you off? Sometimes overwhelming you with affection, but other times it’s as if he can’t seem to spare any time to see you?”