The Clumsy Clairvoyant

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The Clumsy Clairvoyant Page 4

by S. E. Babin


  Marissa was going to be so pissed at me.

  I whistled all the way to my truck.

  5

  On the way back home I thought about the conversation with Marissa. She wasn't wrong. It had been at least four months since she'd been at the house. She had a television, a few books left over from the previous owners, a stocked fridge and not much else. I couldn't even imagine how bored she was. Before her pregnancy she'd been heavily involved with the other military wives and was well known socially. I'd basically uprooted her entire life and plunked her into a prison.

  Sikes would kill me if he could see what I had done. Hell, I felt like a real asshole for it, but it was the only way I knew to protect her. But maybe I had overdone the whole cloak and dagger scene. It was possible she could have come to Midnight Cove with none the wiser, but we had a lot of intuitive and powerful people in this town. It was very possible her secret would have been discovered.

  I scratched the back of my neck and tried to think. I couldn't ask anyone for advice. A horrifying thought occurred to me and one I tried to immediately squash, but couldn't quite make myself.

  There was a woman...one who supposedly could raise the dead. Sikes had been buried at the local cemetery here. Would he hate me for doing that to him? He was the only one I could ask for advice.

  I made a quick left turn and headed over to Helen Reaper's house before I could talk myself out of it.

  The woman who answered the door was startlingly pretty and super grumpy.

  "I'm booked six months in advance," she snarled at me when I rang the door and told her what I was there for.

  "It's an emergency."

  Her stare turned flat. "Oh? Let me guess. Is there an inheritance burning a hole in your pocket or something?"

  It was my turn to get annoyed. "No," I barked. "But the nature of the emergency isn't any of your business."

  Helen Reaper shut the door in my face.

  "Shit," I muttered. Guess that was the wrong answer. I raised my hand to knock again, but before I could, the door flung open and an enormous, very dirty man stood there glaring at me.

  "Did you just insult my wife?"

  I inhaled discreetly. Crap. This guy was a ghoul and could probably pound my head into the ground before I said a single word. Tread lightly, Lucas.

  I slapped on an insincere smile. "My apologies. I'm here with an emergency and the only person who can help is my friend."

  "The deceased," Hank said, his voice dry as dust.

  "I'm afraid so."

  "You do know Helen hears this every single day from people who have zero respect for her time, don't you?"

  At my alarmed look, the ghoul chuckled. "You think you're the first supposedly clever schmuck to come to our door declaring some kind of emergency?" He looked heavenward and shook his head. "If you people had half the brain of a grape, you'd realize very few people are more clever than my wife."

  The door started to shut, but I set my foot in it. "Sir, I implore you to listen -"

  The pressure on my foot grew.

  "Two seconds to move your foot or I'll crush it to powder," the ghoul said with zero emotion in his voice.

  I moved my damn foot and let him, once again, shove the door in my face.

  I sat down on the steps with my head in my hands. Perhaps I had been a jackass. I knew the only way I could get Helen to help me was to tell her the truth. I couldn't wait six months. By then, there would be a vamp/wolf baby roaring through the streets.

  I stood back up, dusted myself off, took a deep breath and rang the doorbell again. The ghoul answered and more than a flicker of rage was present on his face.

  "Are you really that stupid?" he asked in that slow tone that told me I was about to get my ass kicked.

  "Ah, no," I said on a nervous chuckle. "But I must implore you to see me today. It truly is an emergency."

  The ghoul crossed powerful arms against his chest. "So?"

  My shoulders slumped. "And if you invite me in and swear to never tell a soul, I will share with you what it is."

  Hank held the door open and with one massive hand gestured for me to go inside.

  I felt the world on my shoulders and putting trust into two extremely crabby strangers was not how I expected to have my day end.

  Helen stood in the kitchen, leaning against the countertop and holding a steaming mug. One of her eyebrows rose, and I marveled at the clear blue of her eyes. "Would you like a cup of coffee, vamp?" she asked, not very politely.

  I nodded. "Please. It would be greatly appreciated."

  She set her mug down to make a cup for me and Hank led me into the living room. A big dog lolled on the couch at me and wiggled her legs in the air to let me know she'd like a chest pat. I obliged, giving the soft fur a stroke. I sat down beside the animal and she abruptly turned and dropped her head into my lap.

  "Friendly dog," I remarked.

  "Careful," Hank warned. "She's way too smart for her own good."

  Helen pushed a mug into my hand and sat down beside her husband. "Now tell me why you're here and annoying me to death on this nice, sunny day."

  I paused, took a deep breath, and plunged into my story. When I'd finished both of them were staring at me open-mouthed.

  "You managed to hide something that epic from Portia Kadish?" Helen asked.

  Hank whistled low and shook his head. "You have a whole world of hurting coming to you."

  I nodded. "If anyone finds out about this, I'm dead."

  "Probably worse," Helen quipped. "You're already dead."

  Vamp jokes. Hilarious.

  She set her mug down and gave me a frank stare. "Listen, I'd love to help you, but there are some...odd things happening around this town right now. Things you may or may not have noticed. My powers have been somewhat off for several months and my appointments have been way down so I won't disrupt any of the weird magic currently swirling up in the atmosphere."

  We had noticed some weirdness, but none of us thought it was too strange. It was, after all, a town full of paranormals.

  "So you aren't raising at all right now?"

  "I am, but only people I absolutely have to."

  "I'll pay you."

  She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I can't accept -"

  I rattled off a number so astronomical, Helen and her husband both blinked and fell silent. For that amount of money, they could afford to close up shop and live the rest of their days out on a nude beach resort somewhere.

  Helen leaned over and whispered something in his ear.

  "She's going to be pissed," was all he said in reply.

  "What's new about that?" she asked before she turned to me. "Half now, the rest after the raising. I have a contract enforceable by law which you will sign. Are we in agreement?"

  "As long as it's added in that you will use the utmost discretion concerning what I've told you here today."

  Helen rolled her eyes. "I don't give a crap what the vamps and wolves have going on right now. I have trouble of my own."

  When I didn't respond, she snorted in amusement. "Fine, I'll add it in."

  "Good," I said and stood. "We have a deal." I reached out my hand to shake on it. "I'll be back in half an hour with the first half of your funds."

  "Wonderful," Helen said. "I'll be standing right here, planning how to spend all of it."

  The ghoul slung an arm around his wife. "Anything funny and you'll regret it."

  I gave him a short nod and showed myself out. When my mother saw the amount of money taken out of my trust fund, she was going to be apoplectic. But that was the thing about immortality.

  We always had time to make more and keep accruing that interest. After thousands of years, it added up more than handsomely.

  I slid into my truck, started it up, and headed over to the local bank to make a massive withdrawal. Although I was terrified, I was also excited to see my friend. But I also dreaded it. He had no idea he'd left behind a pregnant wife, and I was sure he'd be furio
us about it. There was nothing he could do, but I hoped he appreciated what I was trying to do for them both.

  I walked out of the bank with a massive cashier's check in my hand and a feeling of dread. On one hand, this was the right thing to do. Sikes should know his wife was pregnant. And I needed his advice desperately. He also knew how to slip out of trouble, though I wasn't sure he'd ever faced this kind of trouble before. This could get both me and his wife killed.

  I'd heard pretty incredible things about Helen's talent, so I was hopeful about the odds of us having a good conversation. When I pulled out of the bank parking lot, a weight felt like it had been lifted off my shoulders.

  As soon as I pulled into Helen's long driveway, my phone chimed with a text. As soon as I saw who it was from, a slow grin formed on my face.

  I still think you're a jerk. I just wanted to remind you. I'm deleting your number from my phone. I wish you wonderful luck in your jerkiness.

  I responded quickly.

  And I think you're still a giant shrew with poor taste in clothing.

  As soon as I got out of the truck, I slid the phone in my pocket, still smiling.

  Helen opened the door before I'd even knocked and wiggled her hand in a gimme motion. I placed the check in her hands and pretended not to notice I could tell exactly how her scent changed and her heart rate picked up. She gave me a curious glance.

  "You really want to see him, don't you?"

  I nodded. There was no reason to lie about it. "He was my best friend. And I need his advice. What I'm doing right now is dangerous for everyone."

  Helen, to her credit, didn't disagree or try to argue against what I was doing. I assumed it was because I'd basically paid her enough money to ensure she could roll around in it like Scrooge McDuck. But maybe because she was also a decent person.

  She took me out to her backyard where a gazebo and massive slab of concrete rested. She'd placed candles all around the slab and lit something in a bowl that looked like herbs. "Do you have anything of his I can use to focus his spirit?" she asked. "I won't be able to obtain his body without going through a lot of red tape, but I can summon his spirit here. It just might take a little longer."

  I slid the chain holding one of his dog tags from my neck but hesitated before giving it to her.

  Helen's expression softened. "I promise you it won't come to any harm. I just need to use it to focus on. It helps when the token is personal, which I can assume this is."

  My throat was closed, so I nodded, trying to keep my emotion at bay. I dropped the chain into her hand.

  She motioned behind her. "Go have a seat away from the ritual area. I ask all customers to keep their back turned while I perform the summoning. It may take a little bit before he is able to communicate with you. Do you understand?"

  I nodded and made my way over to the gazebo.

  What felt like forever and a day later, Helen called me over to the slab. I stiffened, suddenly scared out of my wits. What in the world was I doing? I shook my hands out, took a deep breath, and headed down the steps, only to halt mid-step when I saw a shimmering image of my best friend sitting on the slab.

  "Sikes?" I breathed.

  He turned his head to me and a wide, familiar grin broke onto his face. "Marsh! Holy shit, brother! You're looking well." A grimace replaced the grin. "Alive, I mean." He held up his semi-transparent hand. "I, on the other hand, look like I need some Vitamin D."

  I laughed, though I wanted to cry, and hurried over to the slab, only to feel Helen's hand on my arm. "Do not reach into the slab area and break the focus," she warned. "Things will go bad in a hurry."

  I swallowed hard and nodded, instead choosing to take a seat right in front of him.

  "I have news," I said.

  Sikes nodded. "I know you do. Marissa. How is she?" he whispered. "And the baby?"

  My eyes widened, although I shouldn't have been surprised. "The baby seems to be well." I licked my lips. "That is what I'm here to talk to you about."

  "You have to take care of her, Lucas. You promised."

  I shut my eyes for a moment. "I'm well aware of what I promised. But she is pregnant with what our kinds consider to be an abomination."

  Sikes' eyes flashed with something dangerous. "I don't care what anyone else says. This is my child."

  "You are not here. You're risking everyone's life with this." I spread my hands out. "Tell me you have a plan for what happens once she has the child."

  Sikes stared at me for a moment, his gaze disturbed. "There's a cabin I used in West Virginia. It's not much, but it's well hidden and has amenities. Marissa can go there."

  "Is it close to stores? Highways? Hospitals? The baby will need to see a doctor eventually. Who will do that?"

  "I don't give a shit," he snapped. "This can all be figured out."

  I shook my head. "This is why I'm here. I am running out of plans. She's safe and will remain that way. But once she has the baby, she will be a hunted woman. Both of our kinds will scent him on her. She will never be able to roam around Midnight Cove. She will have no freedom."

  "If you hadn't already noticed," Sikes said, "I'm quite dead."

  He meant it to be flippant, but the words were like a knife in my heart. "I'm well aware," I said quietly.

  "This has to be up to you. Go to the cabin and get it ready. She's a vamp. If anything is wrong with the baby, she can heal it."

  I shook my head. "It's not quite that easy. The child will be a hybrid. Nothing is set in stone."

  Sikes' image wavered. Helen touched my arm. "He only has a couple of minutes before the spell fades. Start saying your goodbyes."

  I pushed her arm away from me, suddenly angry at the short amount of time we had.

  "I need you to tell me something, Sikes. Make the sacrifices I'm making okay." I regretted it as soon as I said it.

  His face closed off. "My sacrifice wasn't okay." He looked away from me. "I died a world away, alone, and the only people who appreciated the depth of my sacrifice are all in therapy. I'm a social security number, a social media meme meant to cite political outrage, my life condensed onto a sheet of paper with a paragraph."

  "That was totally uncalled for," I said. “I’m sorry.”

  "You always were an asshole," he said, not unkindly.

  "The only thing I can help you with is the cabin. There's a store close by and a small town filled with good people. Fix it up for her. She will be okay. Marissa is a survivor."

  Helen stepped up and gently told me to go back to the gazebo.

  "Farewell, brother," Sikes said.

  I raised my hand in goodbye and headed back while Helen sent Sikes back to his rest. This wasn't quite how I pictured it would go. But, at least I had a place to send her after she had the child. I couldn't send her now because of the medical care. I'd been paying a doctor on the side to visit Marissa once every two weeks, and I hoped I could still rely on her silence now that it was evident Marissa wasn't pregnant with a normal supernatural. I could see the look on her face when she measured the heartbeat and the thin line of her lips every time she did an ultrasound.

  I was playing with fire and wondered if I would escape unscathed.

  A few minutes later, Helen called me back over. She held out her hand and I went to shake it, but she pushed the check back into my hand.

  "No," I insisted. "This is what I said I would pay."

  She shook her head. "Listen, I never should have said yes to that. It was an astronomical amount of money. Your friend -" she paused. "He died in service to the country and he left behind a precious gift. Just take it." A rueful grin crossed her face. "And trust me when I say you better hightail it out of here before I change my mind."

  I was gobsmacked. "I'd like to pay you something."

  She smiled. "Listen, some crazy shit is going to come down soon enough in Midnight Cove. Magic is a little bit whacked out, if you haven't noticed." She pointed a finger at the slab. "And technically, I am not supposed to be doing raising
s right now, so I'm going to be in some hot water pretty soon. How about you save a favor for me in the future?"

  I narrowed my gaze much to her amusement.

  "Nothing shady. I'm not going to ask for anything criminal. It will just be help. If that's cryptic, I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to tell you more. Just know Midnight Cove will need to come together.”

  I narrowed my gaze. "Seriously?" I asked. "That's all you can tell me?" I shook my head. "Cryptic as hell. You're like one of those fortune tellers who tell the gullible just enough to make the sucker think they're legit."

  "Dude. Rude," she said. "Well, keep an eye on the sky and you'll notice it."

  I rolled my eyes. "That's even worse."

  "Get out of here with that check before I kick you in the nuts," she said.

  "See," I quipped as I began to walk through the house, "that's both brusque and clear."

  Helen snorted and held open the front door. "A favor for a favor. Are we agreed?" She held out her hand and I shook it. "Agreed."

  The ghoul came lumbering through the house. "Let me guess," he growled, "she gave you the check back?"

  I shrugged and hurried out of the house, hoping I could catch the bank still open.

  Helen shut the door behind me.

  She was a weird lady.

  6

  Grace

  I laughed out loud at the text response from Lucas. Then I immediately got pissed at myself for laughing because Lucas was still a giant douchenozzle. I'd fired off some pretty ugly texts when I had to find my own ride home and continued my tirade (with some restraint) into the next day. I'd spaced the messages out long enough to keep from being considered a stalker, but close enough together so he wouldn't have enough time to forget about me. So six messages fired off, insulting his genetics, his manners, his looks, his truck, and his manhood. The last one just let him know I still thought he was an ass.

 

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