She pushed her food around on her plate. “Who’s going to go with me to homecoming if I don’t have a boyfriend?”
“I’ll go with you.” I said it quickly, and instantly realized my mistake.
She screwed up her face. “What, like a pity date? You’d come all the way home for a boring weekend at the kind of school event you always avoided like the plague just so I didn’t have to go alone?”
“Uh…”
“That’s really sweet,” she said in a tone that made me feel about twelve years old. “But I couldn’t ask that of you.”
“Why not?” I said. “I want to go.”
She laughed. “You never want to go to school dances. I’ve always had to drag you along.”
I met her gaze and took a deep breath. “Yeah well, things change.” I swallowed down a wave of nervous energy and grabbed a fork too tightly. “Maybe I want to go…with you.”
There was a moment. I might not have been the most aware person of all time. In fact, at most times, I was pretty oblivious to social cues. If this was any other girl I might not have known it to be the moment that it was. I might have missed it altogether.
But I’d always attuned in to Liv. If she were a radio frequency, hers was the only station my broken antennae could pick up. Which was how I knew that this was a moment.
She felt it too.
Her dark brown eyes met mine, and there was a flicker of surprise. Her lips parted ever so slightly.
Then the surprise faded to amusement and her lips curved up in a mischievous grin. “You miss me that much, huh?”
I swallowed. Yes. Yes, I did. But I didn’t trust myself to say it just then without sounding creepily intense. Liv was used to my intensity, along with all my other eccentricities, but this wasn’t something I was ready for her to see.
She knew I loved her, but she had no idea I loved her. And when she found out…well, I wanted her to feel the same way.
I definitely didn’t want to scare her away before I even got the chance.
“While I appreciate the offer, I couldn’t ask you to do that.” Her eyes didn’t quite meet mine as she shifted in her seat. “Unless…” She narrowed her eyes, that mischievous glint back in full force. “Do you just want to go back to Harmon High to show off?”
“What?” I might have sputtered a bit on my coffee. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous,” she said, her tone pert. “It’s human nature.”
I stared at her for a moment as I tried to follow her reasoning.
“What?” she said. “It’s true! It’s human nature to want to show off in front of the people who underestimated your greatness. I’d kill to show up at homecoming with someone who’d make Stu sick with envy. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
I let out a little snort of laughter at that and found myself firmly back in the friend zone. Any glimpse I’d had of a moment had vanished into the ether, right along with Liv’s diet.
I watched with satisfaction as she dug into the chicken strips again. She used to tease me that I was an old Italian grandma in my past life because I liked watching her eat. And no, don’t even go there. I didn’t enjoy it in some weird fetish kind of way, it just made me happy when she was enjoying herself and not worrying about how she looked or what other people would think. This right here was her true nature.
She’d probably kill me if I ever said that aloud. It’s probably not flattering to say that her true nature was in full force when she was chowing down on fried meat. However, I stood by the allegation. There was something so natural and real about her when she was being herself without a care in the world. And there was something so perfectly, metaphorically fitting about the zeal with which she devoured her favorite foods.
Trust me when I say that Liv was the only person in the world for whom I found metaphorical equivalents in chicken strips.
She brought out the poet in me.
“Are you happy now?” she asked as she caught me watching her.
“Very.”
She nodded toward my plate. “You’re the one who needed sustenance, remember?”
I started to eat as well and for a moment there was a peaceful silence as we enjoyed our meal.
Then she ruined it by mentioning the morons from our old school again. “Tell me honestly, Jackson. Did you offer to go to homecoming just so you could show Julie Berns just how rich and famous and studly you are?”
“Studly?” I repeated with a laugh, although part of me was a little annoyed. “And Julie Berns? Really?”
“Yes,” she said, wiping her fingers on a napkin. “I know you’ve always had a thing for her, and—”
“That was in fifth grade,” I interjected.
She didn’t seem to hear me. “Because, you know, I realize she’s super pretty, and blonde, and has big boobs—”
I groaned in agony but she didn’t seem to notice.
“But you can do better.”
I had this crazy notion that maybe she’d let go of this topic, but Liv was a dog with a bone, particularly when it came to my love life… Or the lack thereof.
Her eyes lit up with excitement. “What about Jamie?” She’d made her voice a sort of stage whisper, as if anyone around us knew who Jamie was or cared.
“Who?” It took a second before I had a mental image of blonde hair and white teeth. Right. That girl.
“Your friend?” Liv prompted. “The one who signed me in?”
“I don’t have any friends.” Before she could correct me, I amended, “Aside from you, of course.”
In my defense, I’d never tried. At Harmon, because the kids there clearly didn’t like me, so why bother? At my new school, I just hadn’t had the time or interest to try. Besides, after a lifetime of being an outcast, I wasn’t sure how one even went about making friends.
“Don’t tell me that pretty blonde wasn’t all up in your biz when I showed up,” she said. Her eyes were so wide, so guileless, like she actually believed that anyone was up in my biz…whatever that meant.
“If she was, I didn’t notice.”
She smirked. “Of course you didn’t.”
Our gazes met and a million words were spoken. Sort of. Liv maintained that we had friend ESP, though I regularly informed her there was no such thing. But at this particular moment I was tempted to believe…
Maybe she understood what I wasn’t saying. If any other girls existed, I didn’t notice. I would never notice. Not in that way. How could I when this girl had stolen my heart long ago?
Liv arched a brow. “You should totally ask Jamie to homecoming.”
I held back a sigh. I’d always known friend ESP was not a reality, but this just confirmed it. We were not at all on the same page—not on this particular topic, at least. I stared at her for a long silent moment, not even certain where to begin. “Why would I ask Jamie to a dance at a school that I no longer attend?”
“Oh right. Duh.” Liv rolled her eyes at her own forgetfulness. “I guess it’s still sinking in that you don’t go to Harmon High anymore.” She got slightly more serious as she heaved a sigh. “You know, sometimes I feel like you’re just on vacation or something, and any day now you’ll be walking up to me in the hallways and offering to do my homework for me.”
“I’ve never once offered to do your homework for you.”
“I know,” she said with another sigh. “But a girl can dream.”
I found myself smiling at her wistful look. The girl was crazy, but she was mine. “Actually,” I said as I toyed with my fork. “I was thinking about asking someone to a dance.”
“You guys have homecoming?” Liv interjected.
“No. Uh, maybe. I don’t know.”
She gave a little snort of disgust as she shook her head. Apparently she wanted me to be paying attention to these sort of things.
“But I was referring to the black-tie gala the magazine hosts.”
“Yes!” Her eyes grew wide with excitement. “I still can’t be
lieve you get to go. That party is basically the be-all-end-all of the young, hot, and filthy rich.” She tilted her head back and forth. “Well, maybe not hot, but they all look so snazzy in their designer duds—”
“Anyway,” I interrupted before she sent us totally off the rails again. “I was thinking that maybe—”
“You totally want to ask Jamie to the gala, don’t you?” She sounded so thrilled that I sat there with my mouth hanging open. “I knew it! You two looked so cute together.”
Was it possible she’d just slapped me across the face? No, she hadn’t. It just felt that way. Disappointment started to creep in before I could steel myself against it. Granted, I hadn’t even asked her yet, but her excitement over me asking out another girl hardly boded way for my chances, now did it?
She leaned forward. “Was that what you were thinking too?”
Her excitement made it clear that she was hoping this was yet another example of ESP.
It was not.
In fact, our ESP seemed to have suffered a spectacular failure these past few months. The past two years, actually, ever since I’d realized that what I felt for Liv went far beyond friendship, and she… Well, she’d dated Stuart.
I swallowed down the disappointment as I reached out to take one of her hands in mine. It was now or never. I’d curse myself later if I didn’t at least try. “Liv,” I started awkwardly.
She didn’t seem to notice. Liv was the only person in my life who didn’t find my awkwardness to be contagious.
“Yes, Oliver?” She said my first name teasingly since we rarely called one another by these names so it sounded oddly formal. Or intimate. I preferred to think it was the latter.
“Liv,” I started again. The repeated use of her first name seemed to have clued her in to the fact that I had something serious to say because she managed to let me speak without interrupting again. “I was hoping that you would go to the gala,” I said in one long rush of air. “With me.” As if that wasn’t obvious.
Her lips parted in surprise.
“As my date.” That was just overkill, perhaps, but still…I felt it needed to be said. Liv seemed to be oblivious to my overtures, and I couldn’t tell if her obtuseness on this particular topic was intentional or not.
There was always the possibility that she was avoiding seeing what I thought was obvious so that she didn’t have to hurt my feelings.
But her failure to see that I was in love with her could also very well stem from a lack of confidence in her own appeal. In my more optimistic moments, I felt certain that this was the case. I tried to hold on to that optimism right now. She really could be blind at times, especially when it came to her own worth.
She blinked a couple of times and then she gave me the sort of blinding, warm smile that made me feel as though I were basking in the light of the sun. “Of course I’ll go with you.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding as relief rushed through me. Relief, and excitement, and hope—
“But I really think you should ask Jamie instead.”
Her casual amendment to her response stopped the joy right in its tracks. “You do?”
She rolled her eyes. “Duh. Of course you should. She’s hot and nice, and if she goes to your fancy-pants school, she’s got to be smart, right?”
“I guess.”
“I get it, it’s easier to take me because I’m your friend.” Liv reached out and squeezed my arm again. “I’ll totally be there for moral support if that’s what you want.” Her grin turned mischievous. “Also, I’m super psyched to go to a legit gala. How cool is that?”
I forced a smile. “Cool, I guess.”
She laughed at my vernacular. She always found it funny when I echoed her slang.
She gave another wistful sigh. “I wish your PR person could set me up with a makeover, too. Can you imagine if I showed up all hot and sexy? A completely new me?”
I frowned. “I don’t want a new you, and you don’t need a makeover. You’re perfect the way you are.”
She stared at me, and I realized perhaps I’d said that with a little more force than absolutely necessary. But it was the truth, and I was tired of being the only one who knew it.
She recovered quickly and shrugged it off. “It’ll be way more fun than homecoming at Harmon High, that’s for sure.”
“Speaking of that,” I said. “Do you still want me to be your date?”
“Are you kidding?” she asked. “Of course I do. I can’t wait to see Stu’s face when I show up with Harmon’s new favorite celebrity.” She reached over and stole a fry from my plate. “Personally, I can’t wait to see Julie Bern’s face, too, when you show up as the school’s big, rich celebrity. I’ll take great pleasure in watching her realize what a dope she’d been for not noticing you all those years.”
I set down my fork. “My crush began and ended in fifth grade.”
She waved away my attempt at reason and I let it go, letting her chatter away about how green with envy Julie would be. Honestly, I was still trying to recover from the disappointment at my botched attempt to ask her out on a date. I couldn’t bring myself to care too much about Julie or Jamie, or whatever other girl she was trying to push on me.
When she started talking about how my being her date would make Mikey notice her? That’s when I tuned her out completely, focusing on the food on my plate, the coffee in my cup…anything other than the knife wounds my best friend so casually wielded. Unintentionally, of course, but sometimes her good intentions made the hurt feel even worse. After a while the pain faded. It wasn’t like anything had changed.
Purposefully or not, Liv still seemed oblivious to my feelings. We were just back to square one, that was all. Next time I’d make sure there was no possibility of misunderstanding.
Next time there would be no room for doubt. My mind was already working, already planning. This weekend was clearly not the time. But now I had homecoming, right? I was her date, and that had to count for something.
“Since I’m going to your shindig as moral support, I don’t feel so bad about you coming to homecoming as my pity date,” she said happily as she munched on one of my fries.
“It’s not a pity date.”
She shrugged. “Fine, not a pity date.” She adopted a silly mob boss voice. “I do a favor for you, you do a favor for me. It’s quid pro quo, yo.”
I found myself smiling in amusement at her antics despite the fact that disappointment had settled like a lump in my gut. “Quid pro quo,” I repeated under my breath.
Yup, nothing said romance like quid pro quo.
Chapter Three
Liv
There were times when I felt pretty, or at least comfortable in my own skin. I watched Jamie from her bed as she brushed her hair.
This was not one of those times.
It was nearly impossible to feel anything other than ugly and fat while watching this girl throw her hair up into an effortless ponytail, her heart-shaped face scrubbed clean of any makeup and somehow she looked even better for it.
The unfairness of the world never ceased to amaze me.
“Do you believe in luck?”
Jamie’s question had me staring at her all over again. “Um…what?”
She turned to face me, her expression thoughtful as she rubbed moisturizer into her hands. We were just waiting for the RA to make her rounds before Oliver would sneak me back to his room.
Oliver’s room. Where his roommate would not be. My belly did an unexpected backflip that left me breathless.
Focus.
“Sorry, what about luck?” I asked.
One side of Jamie’s mouth hitched up a bit revealing a dimple. Of course she had dimples. I’d bet all of Oliver’s billions that she had a pretty singing voice too—one that magically summoned birds and forest creatures to do her bidding.
She gave her head a shake. “Never mind. I’ve just been thinking a lot lately about luck. How some people just have it.”
“Like you
?” I asked. I tempered it with a smile because much as I might envy this girl, she seemed like a genuinely kind person. I waved a hand toward her. “You’ve got the looks, and the fact that you go to this school means you’ve got the brains and the money.”
She blushed and ducked her head. “I am lucky, I won’t deny it.”
This might have been the weirdest conversation I’d ever taken part in with a near stranger, but that made me like her all the more. Small talk was so overrated. “What got you thinking about luck?”
“Ollie.”
I stared at her. It wasn’t the first time she’d called him Ollie in front of me, but it was just as jarring as when she’d called him that to his face and he hadn’t so much as blinked.
“His name is Oliver,” I said. Or Jackson, but only I called him that. And no one called him Ollie. A sharp stab of something so ugly I refused to name it had me swallowing thickly.
Jamie surprised me with a rueful laugh. “Oh, I know, I just felt like his image could use a little softening around here.”
I arched a brow and she shrugged. “He doesn’t seem to be having the easiest time fitting in with others, and part of it is because he’s very…” She narrowed her eyes as she searched for the right word. “Stiff.”
I gave a snort of amusement at that understatement. “I thought his ever-present khakis and nerdy lingo would fit right in here.”
Jamie laughed as she fell onto the bed beside me. “One would think, but Ollie’s pretty formal even for this place.”
I nodded because I could see what she meant and she didn’t seem to mean it as an insult.
“Well, I’m glad you see past that stiffness to the great guy underneath,” I said. And I meant it. Was I experiencing just a bit of jealousy over the fact that Jamie got to see my bestie while I was stuck in my own personal friend exile back in Pennsylvania? Of course. But my petty feelings were nothing compared to Oliver’s happiness, and I was relieved to see that there was at least one person here who appreciated him.
The fact that this one person who appreciated him also happened to be a stunningly beautiful blonde with the sort of willowy figure I could only ever dream of achieving?
Tall, Dark, and Nerdy: High School Billionaire #1 Page 5