She wanted to intervene, but knew instinctively her interference would do more harm than good. Instead she knelt down and spread the thick blanket on the ground. “Aidan, perhaps you should put Lachlan down.”
He nodded, but he didn’t look at her. King Rohan motioned for everyone to stand back. Not knowing what to do, feeling like an outsider, she touched her brother’s cheek then rose to her feet. She stepped away to give them some time alone together. She could only imagine how difficult it was for Aidan to let his brother go.
“Fer once be honest with yerself, Aidan. If it wasna fer me, ye’d be off with Iain, yer father would be alive, and so would Janet. Fer Christsakes, admit it. I canna do this anymore, pretend I’m someone’ I’m no’. I’m half-Fae, and ’tis no’ somethin’ I had a say in. If our mother had no’ been whorin’ with a bloody faery, I wouldna exist, and I wouldna ruined yer life.” Lachlan twisted his body to look beyond Aidan, grimacing with pain, sweat dotting his brow. “Get me out of here!”
Syrena covered her mouth with her palm, fighting to contain an anguished sob. She wanted to comfort them both. She knew how much pain Lachlan was in, but could only imagine how hurtful his words were for Aidan to hear.
Aidan crouched beside him and reached for his hand. “Lan, no, doona go like this.”
Lachlan brushed his hand aside, and Aidan staggered to his feet. Syrena reached out to him, but he waved her off.
“Let me, princess,” Uscias said gently.
He went to Aidan and laid a hand on his arm. “I’ll look after him, Lord MacLeod. Do not let his words wound you. It is the drugs, the abuse that he has suffered making him say such things, but time heals all. When you are ready to see him, come to the Callanish Stones.” He walked past Aidan and knelt beside Lan. Taking her brother’s hand in his, they disappeared within a shower of twinkling lights.
Her uncle came to stand beside Syrena. He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze before saying to Aidan, “Uscias is right, Lord MacLeod. Your brother will heal. And after what you’ve done this day, you will always be welcome in the Fae realm. Aidan, if I may call you, Aidan?”
Aidan scrubbed his hands over his face. “Aye.”
“There’s something I feel you must know. Especially after the disparaging comments your brother made about your mother. She does not deserve his contempt, nor yours if you harbor any. It is my brother who must be held accountable, and I’m afraid that is no longer possible. What I’m trying to say is my brother Arwan used magick to enchant your mother. It is against Fae law, but that never stopped Arwan before. Your mother would not have been able to resist—”
“He raped her?”
“Harsh, but yes.”
Aidan took an angry step toward Syrena and she swallowed a startled cry. Heartsick at the rage she saw in his eyes when he looked at her, she was afraid that in that moment he’d forgotten everything they’d meant to one another. His nostrils flared, and he lacerated her with the contempt in his cold gaze. “Ye kent this all along and ye kept it from me?”
“No. I mean . . . yes I knew, Aidan, but I didn’t keep it from you intentionally. I had no idea how you felt about your mother. If I ever thought—”
He balled his hands into fists, the muscles rippling in his arms as though he wanted to shake her. She almost wished he would. It would be less painful than the disgust she saw in his eyes.
“No idea! Yer father raped my mother! She bled to death hearing my father curse her! Died knowing she left a bairn no one wanted. A god-forsaken—”
Her uncle grabbed him by the arm. “That will be enough, Lord MacLeod. You’ve had a shock. And since I’m aware how well you know my niece, I’m certain when you’ve had time to think about it, you will recognize she’s innocent of any wrongdoing.”
Reeling from the ferocity of Aidan’s attack, she barely noticed the high-pitched keening until Davina Hamilton burst through the stunned onlookers.
Throwing herself into Aidan’s arms, she wailed, “John Henry’s dead, Aidan. He’s dead. What am I to do?”
Aidan held her. “It will be all right, Davina.”
“But the bairn,” she cried.
“Ye doona have to worry. I’ll take care of everythin’.”
Evangeline came to stand beside Syrena. She took her hand in hers and squeezed. Syrena nodded. Her chest ached from holding back tears. She should’ve known; she had seen it in his eyes earlier when he’d been confronted with who she was. She’d hoped she’d been wrong, but she wasn’t.
“If we’re through here, I have much that requires my attention,” Aidan grated out.
“I can see that,” King Rohan observed, his deep voice tinged with sarcasm. “But there is one more matter which requires your attention here.”
Aidan narrowed his steely gaze on her uncle.
“No, Uncle, please don’t,” she pleaded desperately, certain she was the matter to which he referred.
“Quiet,” Rohan ordered.
Aidan’s mouth flattened. “What would that be?”
“The matter of your marriage to my niece. I—”
“It was a sham, nothing more.”
Her legs buckled and if not for Evangeline’s arm around her waist, she would have crumpled at his feet in a devastated heap. She’d lost him.
“So be it. I will tell you, though, that I would’ve been hard pressed to allow the marriage. I have never approved of a union between Mortal and Fae. But if I did, I certainly would not allow my niece to wed a man foolish enough not to recognize the treasure he throws away. A man not able to get past his pride and his misconceptions to fight for a woman whose value is beyond compare—”
“Uncle, please.” She begged in a tortured whisper. She couldn’t stand by while everyone watched the man she loved with all her heart denounce her.
“Are ye finished?”
“Yes,” her uncle said then nodded when Evangeline leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Right. Thank you. Lord MacLeod, considering what has gone on this night, Evangeline has offered to wipe the minds of all those here.” Noting Aidan’s distrustful expression, her uncle added, “It is neither painful nor harmful, and is in some cases a benefit to a person suffering guilt or emotional distress. The one somewhat annoying side effect is that the person can lose several years of memories.”
“I accept the offer. Thank ye,” Aidan said to Evangeline, his gaze skipping past Syrena. “There are several people I will leave to make the decision on their own. But as to the rest, I’d ask ye to remove their memories of this night.”
“Would that include yourself, Lord MacLeod?” her uncle asked, his tone silky.
“I’ll have my memories wiped, if possible, the last two years.” Aidan looked directly at Syrena when he said the words that shattered her heart. A muscle pulsated in his jaw, and he held her gaze, searching her face as though to memorize it, then he said, “Good-bye.”
He turned and walked away, Davina clinging to his arm.
“I’m sorry, Syrena,” her uncle said quietly.
She nodded. She couldn’t speak. Her throat hurt too much from swallowing her sorrow.
Samuel and Bess wove their way through the crowd of curious onlookers to come to her. The older woman took her hand in hers. “I’m sorry, my lady, I doona ken what else to say. Samuel and I just wanted to tell ye we wouldna be havin’ our memories wiped. They’re too precious to lose. And . . . and we won’t forget ye, we doona wish to.” They hugged her then walked away.
Syrena hadn’t said a word. Her tears were too close to the surface. And if she started to cry, she didn’t think she would ever stop.
Callum came over and awkwardly patted her back. “I never thought Laird Aidan a fool until this night. Ye take care, my lady. Doona ferget yer promise to wee Alex and Jamie. They’ll be expectin’ a visit from ye, as will we all.”
At Callum’s mention of the twins, the thought of all she had lost came crashing down upon her. By the time Connor came to say good-bye, her fragile control over her emot
ions had snapped. Silent tears streamed down her face.
Connor shook his head. “I thought ye were a warrior, Lady Syrena. I’m sorely disappointed in ye.”
“What do you mean?” She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands.
“’Tis obvious ye love the laird, and just as obvious he loves ye. Why doona ye fight fer him?”
“He’s made his decision, Connor. He doesn’t want me. I don’t know how to fight that.”
He jerked his head to where Aidan stood with Samuel, Bess, and Davina. “I think ye do. Besides, what harm could it do when he means to lose all memory of ye.”
Syrena didn’t know if Connor was right, or if she could do anything to stop Aidan from wiping her from his memories, but there was one thing she had to do. A promise she’d yet to fulfill.
She lifted her hand to her crown then let it drop before she removed it. She would no longer pretend she was anything other than who she was. Princess Syrena, a Fae princess, inept at magick, not as powerful or as strong as everyone imagined, but none of that mattered anymore. If she didn’t accept who she was, how could she expect anyone else to? She’d heard every tortured word Lachlan said to Aidan. Her brother had done the same as she did and look where it got him.
“Lady Hamilton,” she said quietly when she reached the edge of the woods.
The woman cowered beside Aidan. “I doona wish to speak to ye. Ye’re Fae. Ye’re responsible fer my husband’s death.”
“Davina,” Aidan said sharply. “Syrena—”
“I can speak for myself, thank you. I wasn’t responsible for your husband’s death, Lady Hamilton. Two Mortals were. Nor was I responsible for what was done to you or Lachlan. Again, that would be Mortals. If this night has showed anything, it is that Mortals have a greater propensity for evil than the Fae. But that is not what I came to speak to you about. I made a promise to your husband. He wanted you to know that he loved you. With his dying breath, he sought to ensure your rescue.” She wasn’t certain the woman deserved John Henry’s love, but it wasn’t for her to judge. She’d done what she’d set out to.
She turned to walk away then bowed her head, swallowing her pride. She had made a promise to herself, and no matter how difficult it was to keep, she would. “Aidan, may I speak with you a moment?”
“Aye.” He set Davina aside and took a wary step toward Syrena.
“Earlier today I made myself a promise. With everything that’s gone on, it’s not an easy one to keep, but as you have decided to wipe me from your memory, I thought . . . well, I thought you should know.” She bit her bottom lip to keep it from quivering, blinking back tears before she raised her gaze to his. “I love you, Aidan. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I always will. I—”
He cursed and closed the distance between them in one powerful stride, crushing her to his chest. “Why, Syrena, why are ye doin’ this to yerself?” he rasped in her hair. He drew back. Powerful fingers biting into her shoulders, he shook her. “I love ye. Do ye hear me? I love ye. I love ye too much to risk doin’ to ye what I did to Lan.”
“But—”
“Nay, I won’t change my mind. Yer uncle is right. Ye deserve someone who will love ye without conditions. Someone who doesn’t make ye feel as though ye’re less than perfect just the way ye are. Take a good long look at Lachlan, Syrena, and see what I’ve done to him. Ask him if I’m the man fer ye. He’ll tell ye I’m no’.”
Aidan was right. She did deserve to be loved that way. And she held out hope that one day, after he’d had time to think things through, he would be able to. But if he had no memory of her, of them, he took away any chance of that happening.
Evangeline walked toward them. She took one look at Syrena and came to an abrupt halt.
Frantic at the thought of losing Aidan forever, she clutched his shirt. “Aidan, no, please don’t do it. Don’t take away your memories of us.”
He cupped her face with his big hands and gently kissed her. “’Tis the only thing I can do.”
Heavy hands came to rest on her shoulders. “Syrena, come away,” her uncle said, taking her sobbing into his arms. “You truly love him, don’t you?” he asked as he led her away.
She glanced over her shoulder, barely able to see Aidan through the cloud of her tears. He had his back to her now, talking to Evangeline. “Yes, I love him so much I don’t know how I can go on without him.”
“You’re strong, you’ll find a way. I’ll help you. It is why he does what he does, Syrena. It’s the only way he can think of going on without you.” A fountain of sparkling light washed over them.
Chapter 27
Aidan folded his arms over his chest and leaned against a boulder on the rocky shores of Dunvegan. A brisk wind churned the azure waters, tossing the white-foamed swells against the rowboat Gavin lowered in the distance. Aidan was bone tired. He’d arrived at his cousin’s keep the night before. Rory and Aileanna had urged him to remain, but he knew they’d harangue him about Syrena, and it was more then he could bear.
He found himself wishing, not for the first time, that he’d gone ahead and let Evangeline wipe his memory free of her. But in the end, he hadn’t been able to go through with it. Not after Syrena, with strength and dignity, had bared her heart to him and begged him not to. No matter how painful the memories, he had to keep a part of her with him. To rip her from his mind would have been like severing a piece of his heart, his very soul.
Closing his eyes, he soaked up the watery rays, not strong enough to take the chill from the air, or his bones. A shadow blocked the sun. He raised heavy lids and groaned.
The wee demons.
“What do ye want?” He warily eyed the bundles they carried in their arms. The two of them sat their wee arses onto the stony shore, Alex on one side of him, Jamie on the other.
“We’re comin’ to Lewes with ye,” Jamie informed him.
Like hell they were. “Ye’re no’ comin’ to Lewes, so take yer bundles and head back to the keep.”
“Aye, we are. We’re goin’ to fetch our auntie.”
Aidan ignored Jamie’s reference to Syrena. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about her, especially with the demons. “Yer da willna let ye come. Where is he?” Shooting a glance over his shoulder, he prayed he would catch a glimpse of his cousin.
“He sent us down to ye. He said he had to have a wee chat with our mam,” Alex explained.
Aye, he could well imagine the kind of chat Rory was havin’ with his bonny wife. Aidan would do the same in his place, with Syrena. He blew out a frustrated breath. Every thought led back to her.
“Yer Auntie Syrena had to go home. She’s her people’s princess. They need her.”
“But you need her. She’s yer wife. Go get her!” Jamie demanded with a belligerent thrust of his chin.
Aye, she’d been his wife, and he’d called their marriage a sham. It wasn’t—it had been as close to perfect as he could ever have imagined, and he’d thrown it all away. He had to get rid of the bairns. They caused him to think too much, to question his reasons for giving up the only woman he’d ever love. “Yer auntie is no’ like ye and me.”
“Aye, she’s a lass, like Mama,” Jamie said, talking to him as though he were the bairn and not the other way around.
“Nay, I mean she’s different, she’s . . .” He didn’t know what to say.
Jamie glanced furtively over his shoulder then whispered, “Special. She’s Fae.”
Sweet Christ!
“Who told ye that?”
“Mama. ’Tis our secret, but we can share with family. Families doona keep secrets. Mama says folks are silly and afraid of what they canna understand. She said there are some who might try to steal Auntie fer her magick if they found out she’s Fae. ’Tis why only family can ken, but I think they’d want her ’cause she’s bonny and loves bairns.”
Aidan scrubbed his hands over his face. Aye, she was bonny, and he thought he might strangle Aileanna the next time he saw her. He didn’
t want to think about Syrena, didn’t want to be reminded of what he’d lost.
“We’re the same as Auntie,” Alex announced proudly.
“Are no’,” Jamie scoffed.
“Are, too. Our great, lots of greats, grandda was half-Fae. His mama was a Fae princess just like Auntie Syrena. She gave us the faery flag.”
Christ, the bairn was right. Every one of them had Fae blood running in their veins, however diluted it may be. Aidan came to his feet, wondering why he hadn’t thought of it before. But if he had, would it have made a difference?
“Oh, aye, I forgot.” Jamie looked put out that his brother was right and him wrong, but quickly got over it when he jumped to his feet. Dropping his bundle, he excitedly waved his arms. “Look, Gavin and Donald are here to take us to Lewes.”
“Jamie and Alex, where do you think you’re going?” Aileanna called to her sons from the path leading down to the loch.
The demons tugged on Aidan’s legs, moving him toward the rowboat approaching the shore. “Hurry, hurry, she’s comin’,” Jamie squealed.
“Ye’re daft if ye think I’m takin’ ye with me. Yer mother will have my head.”
“Aye, she would. Boys, leave your Uncle Aidan be. He has to get back to Lewes,” Aileanna said as she walked along the rocky shore toward them
“To bring Auntie home?” Alex asked.
“Aye, if he starts thinking with his heart instead of his head, he will.”
Aidan dragged his hand through his hair and looked into Aileanna’s shrewd blue gaze. “I doona think I can.”
“Of course you can. You love her, and that’s all that matters. Everything else you can deal with together, Aidan.”
“I loved Lachlan and look—”
“Aye, you did, you do. It wasn’t you or the Fae that hurt him, it was Jarius. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions, not even Lan’s. He has his own demons to deal with, Aidan. You can’t make it right for everyone.”
He’d always known Lachlan was troubled, but he’d never known what to do about it. “Thank ye, Aileanna, I’ll give it some thought.”
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