This woman is nervous for nothing.
I lean back, framing Greta's face in my hands. Her skin is too pale, and splotchy patches of pink dot her cheeks.
She is unwell.
The news has been a shock.
The horrible event Tallinn revealed has scarred her. Reliving it again in front of two men she doesn't know worsens it.
Greta just met a sister she presumed lost.
Now she knows that without a payoff to a crooked doctor, Lisbeth faces death.
What Greta must be made to understand is that her death will not happen while I take breath.
I softly stroke Greta's bottom lip with my finger.
“Let me do this for Lisbeth.”
“For me,” Greta says with a lilt, pressing her lips against my finger.
I nod. “What is wealth without wisdom?” I ask.
*
“Stay, Greta.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and I silently curse. There is no good solution.
I have engineered a net of safety within the parameters I'm able.
Greta's head dips, and Lisbeth's hand falls on her shoulder. “Paco's right. I am the one they're after, the one they know about. I will accompany Paco and Tallinn. He can pay this doctor. The narco will be satisfied that I no longer exist.”
“It will simplify things,” I say, glancing at Tallinn, and he nods, gathering our things. My eyes return to Greta's.
Tears gather like liquid aquamarine in the corners of her eyes. They shimmer but do not fall.
For too many years, I've tied the man that I am to civility. Tallinn has taught me things with our training that I didn't know I was capable of physically. What he couldn't have known was that a man cannot change the shell without also altering the creature that lies within.
Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, I endeavor for beauty, but danger and stealth are the weapons inside the armor of my soul.
“I'm not some child that needs to hide from danger, Paco.”
Greta doesn't pout.
Lisbeth squeezes her shoulder. “I'll be back, and we can talk until the wee hours of the morning. But let me resolve this. If this one thing can be put behind us, we're free of that cloud of disaster.”
Greta stares at Lisbeth. “You won't get hurt?”
Lisbeth smiles, offering the first natural expression since our acquaintance. It makes all others prior to this one suspect.
I frown. I can't put my finger on the source of my discontent.
“Let's go, Paco,” Tallinn says, throwing a gear pack my way.
I deftly catch it with one hand then shrug it on between my shoulder blades.
Where we're going, we'll blend.
Greta doesn't ask for reassurance. I turn back and look at her regardless, then grasp the back of her nape and pull her against me.
“Do not leave the room—for anyone.”
I said words that should offend, but Greta merely nods at my barely veiled command.
I fight the whisper inside my head that says the same word over and over.
Mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Greta
Call me.
I swipe send with a thumb, and my text pings off into the ether.
My hand is still pressed against the closed door Tallinn, Lisbeth, and Paco just exited.
I lean my forehead against the warm wood surface.
Gia's going to poo her pants when she gets wind of the last twenty-four hours of my life.
I can't even make sense of it all, and it's mine.
A sigh of exhaustion slides out of my spent body. Carrying my cell, I pad to the luxurious bathroom.
The quartz is cold beneath my stockinged feet. I curl my toes, and the chill of the stone leeches up my legs. With a shiver, I cross the sterile grayish flooring and turn on the hot water tap. Perched along the rolled porcelain rim of a tub so large, I see it could definitely hold two.
I think of Paco.
Instantly an image of Tor floats over Paco's, and I feel heat flush my cheeks in a mixture of shame and uncertainty.
My fingertips swirl in the heated water. I finally want a man.
Tor is the safe choice. He's a known commodity: client, a friend of the family, and a gentleman. And even though I sank into a trigger the size of the Grand Canyon while in his presence, it's not the first time that's happened. It probably won't be the last.
I test the temperature of the rising water. I spot a large bottle of fragrant bath crystals then glide to the double, low-slung vanity. I lift the glass lid, dip a small ladle into the jar, heft out two heaping spoonfuls, and pass the spoon through the spray of hot water.
I float away, a prisoner of my own mind, as I watch the scented water mingle like hot smoked ice.
My exhale is soft inside the quiet of the bathroom, with only the tub basin filling for background.
Tor will court me. Paco acts as though I'm already his responsibility after a coincidental elevator ride and a meeting with a sister I thought long dead.
The night sky fills my mind—black and limitless. I think of the passionate moment on a chilly, star-filled terrace.
I shudder, feeling as though a goose just walked over my grave.
I'm beyond happy to know Lisbeth is alive.
So why does my chest get unpleasantly tight when I think of her? I should be having thoughts of all the questions and closeness her existence could mean for my future. A sister lost, now found? Maybe I'm just off because of everything weird that's going on right now.
Everything will be better once I can talk to Gia. She can help me make sense of the events that are piling up.
I turn the blast of hot water to a trickle, turning on the cold tap. Frigid water joins the scalding water. Steam rises, and I douse my finger as I drown in my speculations.
Disrobing, I toe the water and hiss at the heat before sinking my foot to the ankle. With a resolute shrug, I fold my lean body into the bath and give a shaky exhale as the too-hot water rises past all my most sensitive parts, especially the one I avoid both in the mental and the physical.
Was it only hours ago that I gave Tor yes as my answer?
But my body wants Paco. Just thinking about the man makes me hot in one place, and one place only. That place has been frozen in stasis for two excruciating years. Now it thaws—because of Paco.
I bite my lip, glancing at my silent cell. Smoothing my hands down my sides, I split my legs.
I don't want to think about Paco and Lisbeth visiting a corrupt doctor who's going to validate her phony death to faraway drug lords.
I'm not dwelling on what my relationship might be with Lisbeth.
I don't want to think about Tor's face when I said yes to his question of courting. It'd been the safe response.
Instead, my fingers find my most intimate part, and I think of Paco, his tenderness, and the animal that lurks behind his emerald eyes.
I tentatively spread my labia, and a little pant escapes me. I plant my feet at the edge of the tub's rim, and the cooler air of the bathroom kisses the tops of my feet.
Bringing my hips up, I feed my mound to the top of the water, allowing the hot water to cup my ass and the colder air to breathe over my clit.
I'm suspended, my body at the surface. My finger finds the sensitive bundle of nerves hidden and so long untouched, damaged and used from before.
I lift the tiny hood, and the air snakes between my clit and my finger. I begin to slowly swirl my finger against myself. I moan from the pure tactile sensation of pleasure, the freedom to have a moment of sexual gratification that wasn't torn from me.
My hips buck as my tempo increases. The water undulates with the tempo of the slight rise and fall of my hips.
Ragged, urgent breaths fall on my ears, and I realize with a kind of delayed surprise that they are my own.
Water slops over the rim.
Heat suffuses my body as I rise toward the crest of a powerful wave of my pleasure.
I i
nsert a finger to the knuckle.
My tight walls squeeze around my finger in a single, powerful pulse that seems to pull the digit deeper, and I whimper, pumping once.
The wave of my orgasm crashes over me, hitting the shores of my mind and exploding the guilty thoughts of everything into oblivion.
I think of nothing.
My core pounds out its pulses at my attempts of self-titillation.
But it is Paco's face I fantasize about.
It was his finger, and not my own, that entered my willing body.
It's Paco I think of, not Tor, as my body settles and my heartbeat finally returns to a sane rhythm.
*
My smartphone rings as I’m wrapping my hair in a towel.
I tighten the sash around my waist, feeling more relaxed and free than I ever have.
Well, not true. The freest I've felt since then.
I scoop the cell up off the back of the tub.
I frown at the water droplets littering the glass surface.
Dammit, got carried away.
I swipe with a smile, my parts feeling better for having some attention. And I feel better for having the bravery to allow myself to revel in sensations I've been too scared to explore again.
“Hey,” I say.
“Greta,” Gia says, and I hear the smile in her voice. “I rate a call instead of a hasty text?”
I grin. “Yes.”
“Everything okay?” she asks.
I hear the care inside the question, the concern underneath what should almost be part of a typical greeting.
“It is, but there's something I need to tell you.”
“Shoot.”
I tell her everything.
I omit the sex I had with myself. It's too delicious and private to share. Anything that makes me feel that happy and good is positive. Even I know that.
Gia's silence is long. I open my mouth to ask her if she's still there.
“I am liking everything less and less. I'm thinking I need to fly to Norway.”
Oh. “No! I can't be a baby, Gia. You've given me the tools. Now I need to use them. I can't have you traveling internationally because you're worried. You sponsored me for Club Alpha. Now it's time to let it play out.”
“Okay,” she says slowly, “I'll give you that. Your voice, your words, they all agree with how I think you're progressing. It's the men that have me on edge—and your sister. That is the strangest revelation I've ever heard. So unexpected. It makes me feel uneasy. And that's not how I should be feeling presently.”
My brows come together. “Maybe I put a spin on it all because it's such a fucking shock. I mean, Father told me Lisbeth was dead. I knew I had a twin, but I've always been told she died when we were babies. Then this chick shows up. And she's me, right? But not.”
Goosebumps break out over my bare legs and arms as I recall our surreal first meeting just a couple of hours ago.
I nibble on my lip. Were they able to pay off the doctor? I wonder suddenly.
Gia shatters my thoughts. “Definitely. And if Club Alpha wasn't in the mix, I'd book you a flight right now.”
I give a tiny laugh. “It is crazy sounding.”
“Crazy—and you know how much I loathe that word—”
I snicker.
“Doesn't even cover it,” Gia finishes, ignoring my humor. “But when Club Alpha is added to the equation—and Paco admits he's a player—I think you're safe to explore this path, where it might lead you. But I don't like the sister.”
I don't stifle my snort. “God, Gia. It's my sister!”
Her silence is deafening. “And she didn't just reach out to you beforehand why? I mean, what was holding her back?”
“I'm not sure,” I admit. Disquiet tingles along my spine, raising the fine hairs of my body. I can't let my worry over what Paco's trying to accomplish make my nerves raw. Not after finally tasting a little bit of calm. Letting go of the hardest part of that knot of anxiety has been hard-won.
“I'd find out.”
I'll ask Lisbeth when she returns. If she returns.
Someone knocks at the door of the suite. My mind hits on Paco immediately. But I realize he probably didn't get all his nefarious stuff out of the way this soon.
I'll feel better once he, Tallinn, and especially Lisbeth return safe and sound with good news.
I won't entertain an alternative outcome.
I remember the essence of Paco's words when his large hand gripped my neck. Don't leave your room for anything. For anyone.
I should have felt threatened by Paco's words, the implied command behind each syllable, and his touch.
Instead, I felt safe.
“Hang on,” I tell Gia.
I stride to the door, the ties of my expensive, in-suite robe fluttering behind me as I walk. I tilt my head to the side, and close an eye, searching the peephole for whoever's on the other side. Guilt swamps me as Tor fills the distorted view through the convex circle of glass.
I still throb from what I did while thinking of Paco.
Now Tor stands outside the door, a small smile etching his lips.
Damn. My hands fist, and I hesitate.
I consider Paco's words, his insinuation about Tor, and my half-dressed state.
The hell with it. I won't be rude to the one person Father entrusted with my protection. I can't live in fear forever.
I'm not sure what Tor is to me yet, but he just might be a guardian angel. How can I say no to the role he might have in my life?
Pushing the lever down, I pull the door open. He leans against the jamb, taking in my flushed cheeks and damp hair tucked inside a plush cream towel, Lastly, his eyes travel to the lack of exposed cleavage in my tight robe.
My hands knot at the lapel, and I give a tight smile. “Hey, Tor.”
“Greta.”
His eyes skate around my room, warm chocolate irises against skin barely within Caucasian norms. His intense gaze dives back to me. “Alone?” he asks.
“No,” I say coyly, swinging the door wider with a smile. “You're here now.”
Tor passes through the threshold, and I softly shut the door behind us. I made the right decision.
Paco and Lisbeth will be busy, and I can figure whatever this is out with him, like Gia said.
Oh my God!
Gia.
I race over to my cell and slam it against my ear, heart thumping.
“Greta?” Tor's voice rumbles in the background.
He sounds close. I hold up a finger.
“Gia!” I say breathlessly.
“Okay, now that's just discourteous, Greta.” I envision her folding her arms. “I know when I'm second fiddle,” she huffs, but I can tell she's playing with me a little.
“I'm so sorry, Tor was at the door…”
Pain erupts as my head is flung into the door jamb of the bathroom. My palm slaps outward, hitting the wall, and my body swivels like a marionette on a wire.
I fall against the wall, both palms flat against the textured surface of the plaster. Warm liquid trickles down my temple, clouding my vision.
Tor looms over me.
I blink stupidly at him.
Gia is screaming from my dropped cell.
Tor smiles, picking up the cell and swiping her image away. His head shakes very slowly from side to side. “No.”
“What?” I ask from my smothered mind, though my body knows. An elephant plants its ass on my chest, and my breath whistles through a rapidly narrowing esophagus.
His slap crushes my face against the wall, and my cheekbone bounces against the surface. Agony bleeds into my facial bones, and I cry out.
“No hysterics, fitte.”
It registers Tor just called me a cunt in Norwegian.
I begin to slide down the wall, my head spinning.
Tor wears gloves—a little detail that escaped my attention earlier.
My memory supplies the rest.
Mewling, I scramble past him as adrenaline surges thr
ough me, making my limbs heavy and my mind unnaturally sharp.
But he's nearly a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier.
He kicks me from behind, and I fly forward. My chin bounces on the plush carpeting.
He lands on me, shoving his erection between the crack of my ass, and I scream as my cell phone starts shrieking Gia's ring tone in the background.
His breath whispers against my ear like a breeze of terror. “That pathetic wop friend of yours doesn't know when to be silent.”
He seats his penis deeper, I feel him spread my ass apart through the layers of clothes.
No, no—no!
My hoarse shout swells out of lungs flattened by his weight, silenced before it’s born.
He throws my cell phone against the wall. I slam my eyes shut as the impact shatters the glass.
The ringing falls silent.
“Do not move or make a sound, or I will impale your ass with my dick. Are we clear, Greta?” he asks with horrible intent.
I nod vigorously.
I can't do this.
He flips me over, ripping my wrists above my head.
Warmth spreads beneath me, and his mouth twists in disgust. “You're a disgusting whore.”
I’ve wet myself.
My body's natural need to hold urine has fled. I'm so debased by fear, I can't think.
But out of my mouth come words wrenched from my soul: “I'm not a whore.”
Tor sneers, taking the time to tear something out of his eyes one-handed.
He tosses away tiny bendable contacts. Pale-green eyes stare down at me, and my breath catches.
I'd know that gaze anywhere.
I've seen them through a mask before, but those four sets of eyes are burned into my brain for all eternity. One of the sets gazes down at me now.
Rage fills the nooks and crannies of my mind, overriding the fear. My anger overflows, and I spit in his face. This man raped me two years ago.
He's got it wrong. “Nothing you can do to me will make me a whore.” My voice shakes. Adrenaline, terror, and the sharp-edged knife of rightful anger cut into him.
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