by Ford, Mia
“I got some Thai for dinner. I knew you were tired and thought it might be an easy dinner.” She set the bags down on the desk and got water from our tiny fridge as I smiled at her. Shelly was a great friend, and I needed to take a second to appreciate her. It added to the guilt I had for sleeping with Logan, but Shelly was one of the best friends that I’d ever had.
“Thanks. That smells great.” I told her as I kicked the blankets away, reaching for some yoga pants crumpled up in the corner of the bed.
“I ran into Cory. Remember him from English?” Shelly asked as I searched my memory. “That dark-haired god?”
“Yes, I do. How is he?” I asked as I wiggled into the pants and moved to help her with the bags.
“Great. Hard to believe this but he only looks better to me. He wants us to go to a club with him and a friend this weekend. You know that you had that crush on him.” Shelly smiled at me expectantly as I felt dread wash through my veins. I did have a crush on Cory but that was months ago. I couldn’t follow through with it now… could I?
“A club? Where?” I asked as Shelly went on to describe the place a few blocks away from campus. She loved going out in any form and was bursting with excitement. I knew that a night out could be fun, but I didn’t want Cory now. I only wanted Logan. “I got his number and told him I’d call him about it.”
We ate on our beds and turned a movie on, relaxing for the evening since it was back to a busy school week tomorrow. I managed a text to Logan before I went to bed and wished him to have a good practice in the morning. I had no idea how we were going to see each other again or when. I felt empty inside.
Chapter Ten
Logan
It felt like all I did was practice and play games the following week. My schedule was always busy and left me little time for much else, but I missed the feeling of Holly being in my arms. I missed feeling myself inside of her and despite the fact that I was hit on repeatedly, I didn’t want to sleep with someone else.
We seemed to miss each other in texts and calling was damn near impossible. I knew that I was frustrated when Coach told me to pay attention to the drills on Friday and Joe raised an eyebrow at me. I was still pissed that he’d said some tasteless things about Holly and brushed past him to get my water.
“Something wrong?” Jason asked as I tried to ignore them. I knew that it was bothering me that I had barely communicated with Holly at all, trying to shove it to the back of my mind.
“I’m good. Just worried about the game later.” I replied courteously as I listened to Coach yell at one of the other guys. He was in a mood himself and I rolled my eyes before turning to look back. We’d won two games and lost one this week. It didn’t take us out of the running but we all wanted to win everything right now.
He called me back out to practice passing with my main guys and I skated to the center of the ice. I did everything he asked and tried to focus on the moment. I’d talk to Holly soon enough.
I sent a text when I was done that night. I’d soaked in an ice bath and taken the traditional hot shower before dropping into bed. I waited for a response, hoping she would answer. The girls weren’t at the game with my parents and I missed her. Mom said something about them out on a double date with some boys at school and I was relieved that it was after the game. I felt an unfamiliar jealousy and pain fill me as I tried to act composed for my family. I asked if the girls would be over for family dinner on Sunday and Mom smiled as she told me she was sure that at least Shelly would.
I wanted to see Holly. I left the game and decided to go home instead of the bar, despite the victory. I couldn’t get the idea of Holly on a date out of my head. The idea of another guy touching her like I did made me feel sick inside. I never felt that way about any woman. They always wanted me, but I never responded for more than a night, usually kicking them out once the sex was over. The fact that Holly stayed with me all night in bed was a change for my single life. The idea that I held her all night was a shock.
I tossed and turned all night. My phone was on the table beside my bed and I glanced at it a few times as sleep seemed to escape me. I played hard tonight, and practice was long and trying. I knew that I was exhausted, but I needed to let go of my emotions. I needed to let go of whatever the fuck was in my head right now.
I woke up in the morning when it was still dark, rising to go for a long run. We had a night game tonight, and I needed myself to be fully into it. I even went to the gym for a few hours, meeting up with some of the guys as we talked strategy for the game. This made me feel more like myself. I lived for hockey and these guys were my family. I needed to put all my energy into hockey and our chances of winning.
I even went out to drink with the guys since we all had the following day off. I had far too much whiskey and damn near ended up going home with some redhead that wouldn’t leave me alone. I was horny, but I knew that not just anyone would fit the bill. I wanted a brunette that looked at me like I was the only man on the planet. I wanted the one that came with no holds barred, crying out my name in a way I’d never heard before.
Fuck.
I took a cab home and dropped into bed, feeling drunk and scattered. I knew that I needed to sleep and deal with everything tomorrow. I could sort through it a hell of a lot better when I was sober.
I slept in and headed over to Mom and Dad’s in the afternoon for dinner. I always made this a habit if I wasn’t playing. When I pulled into the driveway, I noted that Shelly’s car was parked near the garage. I sat in my own car for a moment, collecting my thoughts before I walked into the house. I was still there when there was a tap at the window and I looked up to see Dad.
“You okay, son?” He asked as I cracked the door open. My father and I were close, and I watched as he searched my face.
“I’m good, Dad. Tired. This weekend kicked my ass.” I replied as he nodded.
“I know, Logan. You played hard.” He clapped me on the back as I stepped out onto the driveway, ready to go inside.
“What’s for dinner?” I asked as Dad chuckled.
“She made a roast and veggies for you. There’s even a chocolate cake in there that she’s hoping you will try. Mom worries that you work too hard and don’t eat enough.” I smiled at him. “Shelly brought Holly along with her. She’s a nice girl.” Relief surged through me as I heard her name and I forced myself to appear neutral.
“Yeah, she is. I’m glad that Shel found a friend at college.” I replied as we made our way into the house. I heard voices from the kitchen and paused before I dropped my keys on the hallway table.
We walked into the kitchen and I saw Shelly and Mom fixing a salad while Holly mixed something in a bowl. She looked pale and worn and I stared at her, wondering if she was as fucked up inside as I was.
“Hey there, star.” Shelly greeted me as Holly’s head whipped around. Her eyes rested on me and they looked dull as I took a deep breath. “How are you? I know how hard you’ve been working.” She walked over to hug me, and I embraced my sister and then my mom, all the while looking at Holly. She was stirring the dish still and I couldn’t help but to think how beautiful she was.
We settled into a casual conversation about hockey and college as Mom fussed over dinner. Shelly was happy to discuss her classes and how they went to a new club the other night. It was with two guys and she giggled as she told Mom that Holly had a real crush on one of them in a class last semester. I watched as Holly’s face paled and she excused herself before leaving the room.
I waited a few beats before heading into the living room. I assumed that Holly went to the bathroom, and I glanced down the hall on the first floor. She could be there or upstairs, and I jogged up the stairs when I heard water running. I leaned against the wall between the bathroom and my bedroom, waiting for her to come out. I was so intent on talking to her that I didn’t listen for my family at all. My ears were ringing at the mention of the date.
The knob turned, and Holly stepped into the hallway. I moved fast, gra
bbing her and taking her to my room with my hand over her mouth. Once the door was closed, she jumped away from me and scurried across the room.
“What’s wrong with you?” Holly hissed, clearly trying to keep her voice low.
“Who did you go out with? It was just a week ago that you were with me,” I told her in a slow voice, reminding her about our night together. I knew I was being a caveman but had trouble restraining myself. The way this girl made me feel inside made everything seem magnified.
“I certainly haven’t seen you in that week, Logan.” Holly shot back, her eyes narrowed at me. “Am I supposed to sit by my phone and wait for you to call?” I heard the vague tremble in her voice and stalked forward. “No, not here. Your family is downstairs.”
“Let’s go tell them the good news, Holly.” I suggested in a dark voice as her eyes widened. Holly ran past me and hurried through my door as I watched her leave, knowing nothing more than I did earlier. Fuck me. I’d get it out of Shelly since she talked too much about everything most of the time. I swear she did it to get under my skin sometimes.
I walked into my bathroom and cooled down before returning to everyone at the dinner table. Everything was on the table and Mom and Dad were sitting next to one another at the head of the formal table while Holly and Shelly took the seats beside theirs. I smiled and slipped into the chair beside Holly, noting the plate there. She shot me a quick, dark look as I began to pile my plate with food.
We talked about an upcoming game and what it meant to the team as I watched Holly pick at her food. Shelly asked me questions and teased me about my hot hockey friends, giving me my entrance.
“You went on a hot date this weekend. Why do you need to slum with my boys?” I asked her, laughing as Shelly stuck her tongue out at me.
“Slumming. Whatever. It was mostly a party but the two of us went with two guys that are friends. That’s a double date in my head.” Shelly smiled at Holly. “They were hot, too. I loved it and it seems like there might be a second one.” Shelly covered her mouth as she glanced at Holly again, making her laugh nervously. What the hell was she talking about? Holly didn’t see like that kind of girl to me.
“I’m not the one that said yes before the end of the night,” Holly told Shelly, seeming to want to diffuse the situation.
“You need to. Cory is hot,” Shelly deadpanned as Holly shook her head slowly. My parents exchanged a look and Mom smiled as she speared some vegetables with her fork.
We moved on to other topics as I relaxed. Holly didn’t seem to like the guy as much as my sister but that wasn’t hard to believe. Shelly was boy crazy. It drove me insane but now I had something else to focus on.
I told Mom that I’d help with dishes, but Dad called me out to the living room. Shelly and Holly disappeared into the kitchen and we didn’t talk again until we were all saying goodbye outside. That didn’t count for shit and I drove home in a foul mood, walking into my house and dropping the keys on the counter. I had an early practice, so I needed to calm down and get some sleep.
I felt like I just finished a game. My emotions were all over the place as I hopped into the shower, imagining Holly’s face in my mind. She looked at least half as confused as I felt every time we made eye contact, which wasn’t much. I was relieved that nobody seemed to pick up on any of it.
I was all talk when it came to telling my family about us, at least in part. I didn’t introduce them to girls unless it was something of a relationship. I loved them and didn’t want to get their hopes up with women, particularly my mother.
She already loved Holly.
I leaned my head back under the hot spray, closing my eyes as I imagined Holly’s face when she came. Jesus fucking Christ. I reached down to my swelling cock, jerking it get a release out of this. It might be all I ever had from her memory again, but it was something.
I grunted her name as I came all over the wall, my hips rocking forward. I dropped forward against the wall and breathed in deeply, hoping that calmed me down enough to sleep. Once I was better, I rinsed off and pulled on some boxers to sleep in. I plugged in my phone by the bed and glanced down at it, thinking back over the night.
I reached for it and opened a new text message, telling Holly that I was thinking about her. It sounded trite after the short conversation we’d had, mostly angry. I just didn’t know what else to say but the truth. I set the phone down and dropped against the pillows, taking a deep breath.
It was obvious that we were both busy and would not have a lot of time to see one another. Our nights would be hot based on what I’d already experienced but they might be fleeting. I was only twenty-five and not ready to settle down. I also wasn’t into the idea of casual sex as much as when I was younger. I felt like I was transitioning into something unfamiliar for me and it was inspired by Holly. No other woman made me feel like this.
There was no return text from Holly and soon I passed out. I heard the alarm go off when it was still dark outside, knowing that any relationship would be hard with mornings like this. Maybe this was for the best, especially since I’d be on the road traveling again within another week.
Practice was long and hard, and I went to lunch with a couple of the guys afterward. We were all tired but had high hopes for the game tomorrow. It was going to be big in town and I knew that my parents would be there to watch me. I was never sure who else would come on any given day. I just knew where they would be. I signed a few autographs and headed home to relax the rest of the day, catching up on other scores and a few shows as I sat on the couch. There was another early practice tomorrow and then the game against our biggest rivals from the other side of Canada.
Chapter Eleven
Holly
I saw the text when I got home from the small party with Shelly. My phone was in my purse all night as I nursed hard cider and chatted with friends. I wasn’t drunk, but I needed a little something to calm down my nerves after seeing Logan tonight. The time in his room was brief but intense and more than I was used to. In school, I wouldn’t do that during a breakup but here he was going all alpha on me.
I had to admit that he was hot, but he couldn’t do that to me. He was the busy one as well, being a hockey star. He was the one that was out there signing autographs for girls that would sleep with him on the spot. He probably had been with many of them. I knew how to use the internet and looked Logan up. He was a manwhore back in his day and Shelly confirmed that with a roll of her eyes. She’d always hold it against Logan that he was so protective of her while he was out there being a slut.
She didn’t tell me this as someone that was interested in her brother. Shelly just bitched about Logan as a loving sister would and I was safe. I wasn’t looking to hook up with him, at least not that she knew.
Inside, I wanted him so bad that I could taste it.
I read his text, wondering what the fuck it meant. It was too late to respond though I was pretty sure we were going to the game tomorrow. We talked about it over dinner though I never confirmed my presence there. I set the phone face down on my night-stand after I was in bed, feeling the alcohol.
“You kissed Cory! I can’t believe it,” Shelly said from her bed across the room. God, I had. I was hot and bothered over Logan earlier tonight and then there was the cider. Cory was looking to hook-up after we went to that party and I had a weak moment. It wasn’t that he was a bad kisser, and quite good. I just wasn’t into the man that was doing it.
“Yeah. I guess he deserved that after spending nearly the entire weekend with me.” I laughed softly, feeling a little sick inside at the memory. He was too aggressive once it went on too long and his tongue was all over my mouth. His hands were all over my body. I didn’t want that yet and was happy when Shelly suggested that we leave to get some sleep. I felt like I was dodging a bullet.
We woke up mid-morning and went for coffee. I was still a bit shell-shocked from the night before and sipped mine quietly. Shelly was excited about the game and she smiled at me, asking if I w
as going to go with her.
“Sure. It will be fun.” I replied with a soft smile. I tore off a piece of muffin and nibbled on it slowly as I thought ahead to the game. I had his jersey to wear and the shirt that smelled like him tucked into one of my pillowcases. When it was dark, I’d pull it out and inhale his masculine scent, thinking back to our night together. Shelly never knew about the shirt since I hid it well in my pile.
We went back to the dorm and dressed for the game. We were going to have a quick lunch with her parents in the box. I looked in the mirror at myself in the baggy jersey, daydreaming for a moment about wearing it as his girlfriend. I blinked, knowing that it wouldn’t happen. We couldn’t handle a week apart without acting like idiots.
“That looks great on you,” Shelly told me as she braided her hair. She was wearing her own jersey, and I smiled at her. “He gave one to you right away. That’s impressive.”
“That’s not the norm?” I questioned as she chuckled.
“No. A lot of girls have asked over the years but he’s fussy. He wants the person with his name on their back to love what they’re watching. The idea of girls using that to make other ones jealous is petty to Logan.” Shelly explained, making me want him all over again.
“He sounds mature in some ways.” I joked, knowing that she joked about her brother a lot.
“He is. Always has been. I just like to give him shit,” Shelly told me as she lined her lips with a dark stain. I was wearing minimal makeup and glossed my full lips with a clear, shiny gloss. We left the dorm and she drove us to the arena, parking in the back with hopes of getting out of there early. We had early classes. I got out and walked with her, enjoying the emptiness of the parking lot. We were here quite early, but Shelly could get in now, greeting the staff at the door as she showed them our passes.