“Dayne?” I asked, my hands lingering on his enormous biceps and shaking him ever so slightly in hopes of waking him from whatever dream he was obviously in.
“What are you doing here?” He shook his head in disbelief as he moved to free his arm from my hand.
“What do you mean, what am I doing here? You’ve been calling me since I stepped into Ennishlough’s garden.” I laughed as I said this, hoping it was some sort of joke. My eyes were so wide they were straining with the effort of trying to take him in, trying to figure out what was going on.
“No,” he furrowed his brow as he looked to the floor. “You haven’t called to me since you left. I thought…” his words broke off, and he refused to look at me. Even when I ducked into his line of vision to try to force him to see me, he simply turned away and stalked to the window, hands dragging through his thick hair as they always did when he was deep in thought.
“What did you think, Dayne?” I followed him, not willing to let him escape me.
“It doesn’t matter. Why are you here?” His voice was rough, almost as hard as it had been earlier coming through the door.
“I came to get you. To bring you back, or stay with you. We’re going to be together. I’ve seen our future.” Standing at his broad back, I chanced a hand on his shoulder, resting it gently along his solid muscles, needing to feel him.
“Pfft!” Dayne spewed his sardonic dismissal and stepped away, sending my hand falling through the empty air where he had stood until it slapped against my thigh. The sound rang in my ears like a shotgun blast. “Futures change, Faye. Maybe you saw what our future would have been. But that’s no longer what it will be.”
“No,” I answered adamantly, shaking my head and following him to where he leaned on his desk. “Not the futures I see. They always come true.” He wasn’t going to make me doubt myself.
He nodded his head in a mocking way as he looked at me, a gesture that made anger stoke in my belly.
“You’re forgetting one part of that. It’s not just your future you’ve seen. It’s mine. Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, I still have the power to make my own choices concerning my future. And in case you forgot, I already let you go.” His words hit me like a wrecking ball, sucker punching me in the gut with a force that made bile rise up my throat. He slid a hand down my arm to where his bracelet had once lived, and pulled my hand up in between us. “See? Looks like you’ve already forgotten that promise, too.” His eyes flashed dark and wicked, making him look like a total stranger.
As if I had lost all control over my body, my hand fell weakly to my side when he released it. Inside, I was searing hot with rage, yet oddly numbed by his indifference. This wasn’t my Dayne. How could he dismiss me so easily? How could he say what we had wasn’t real? It had to be some kind of trick, some kind of test I had to pass.
“Why are you doing this, Dayne?” My voice sounded weak and faraway to my own ears. I was split right down the middle and in no way capable of finding center at that point—half of me raging, the other half wounded beyond repair.
“Why?” He sneered as he crossed his arms and puckered his face in impatient annoyance. “We had a great summer, Faye. That’s all. Our worlds are way too different and way to dangerous for each other. There was no way this ever could have worked.” He waved a dismissive hand in my direction. “I should have learned that lesson by now, but I always seem to forget.”
The implication that I wasn’t the first non-Sidhe he had sworn his love to burned into my core and ignited the flame of rage that had been smoldering there. Gone was the wounded little puppy begging at his master’s feet.
“You lied to me!” I yelled through clenched teeth. He sucked in a sharp breath and turned an evil glare in my direction.
“I never lie,” he hissed, his eyes narrowed in a menacing way. “At the time, I meant every word I said to you. But things have changed, Faye.”
“Yeah, things have changed. Do you not see me standing here? Would the girl you loved last summer ever have willingly walked into this world to save you?” I jerked my head sarcastically at him when I said loved, hoping there was some fragile part of his heart left to wound as badly as he had mine.
At this, his eyes opened infinitesimally, stepping back as if he were trying to get a better look at me. With his arms still crossed over his chest, he let his eyes wander over the length of me, void of any emotion whatsoever.
“Your clothes?” His voice ticked up, making his statement a question.
“Yeah. Things have changed.” I repeated his words. “I’m not the girl I was when I left you, Dayne. I’m not anywhere close.” My eyes burned into his, clear and strong, showing him how little fear I had for his world. His expression never changed. His arms still draped impatiently over his chest.
It was then that I turned my attention to a burning sconce hanging on a nearby wall, one of four decorative metal torches that lit his room. With a superior gleam lighting my eyes and a wicked half smile, I looked back to be sure I had his full attention. His eyes followed mine to the torch, to me, and back to the torch again.
I took a step away from him, clearing my mind with a deep breath and closing my eyes as the hand nearest the torch rose straight out to my side. The flame instantly sizzled against its metal prison, waiting for my command to set it free. My breath picked up, short and hollow, chest heaving, remembering the delicious feeling of the flames from Anyi’s pyre licking down my throat.
With my palm spread flat, I called to the fire, welcomed it into my hand. With my eyes still closed, I could hear it sizzle and pop along the wall, speaking to me as it grew larger, brighter, hotter. The roaring fire glowed hot over my closed lids and cheeks, telling me it was time.
I opened my eyes, focusing on the fire that raged against the stone wall. Dayne shrunk away from the flame, his arm raised protectively in front of him. The flame was at least ten feet away from where I stood. Never had I tried to move a flame before. I’d only held it without getting burned. But a small voice deep inside told me the fire would do whatever I asked of it at that moment.
Inhaling so deeply my chest seemed to double in size, I sucked the flame toward me. The flames didn’t hesitate for a second, obeying my command immediately.
Leaping from the poor metal torch that was helpless to hold its power, a flaming orange ball sailed through the air and landed squarely in my flattened palm. An involuntary moan escaped my throat when the fire met my flesh. Ecstasy washed through my body in hot lapping waves—calming me, soothing me, strengthening me.
Being sure the fire was far enough away that it wouldn’t hurt him, I turned my gaze triumphantly to Dayne. His jaw was all but hanging on the ground as he witnessed the power I held in my hand.
Suddenly frantic, he backed away from me, stumbling over his desk as he tried to get away.
“No.” I held out my other hand to stop him. “I’m not going to hurt you.” Quickly, I tossed the flame back towards its torch like I was throwing a basketball and followed his retreat. “My magic’s woken up, Dayne. It’s strong...really strong.” I looked down at the floor, rubbing my hands together and shaking my head as I realized I had magic strong enough to make Dayne fear me. “Too strong for LisTirna’s magic to affect me, and strong enough to get us both out of here...if you still want to come with me.” My eyes fluttered from the ground, along the length of his deerskin breeches, over his flowing white shirt and up to emerald eyes that were somehow softened by my latest trick.
For what seemed like an endless moment we stared at each other. Neither speaking, his face just as unreadable as it had been in my earlier vision.
Finally he spoke.
“I wish it were that simple, Faye. I wish I was still who you fell in love with.” His hands unfurled from his chest and rose to his hair, dragging them through the rich mahogany waves and down his neck in the way he always did when he was pained by a decision. I knew I didn’t want to hear what was coming next.
�
�We’ve all got a purpose, Faye. I’ve been fighting mine for an eternity.” He walked to the other side of the desk, leaning on it as he stared out the floor to ceiling window at the waterfall. “Maybe longer,” he added with a confused frown, obviously losing track of time in a life as long as his. “I’m tired of trying to be something I’m not. I’m tired of running from the responsibilities I was born to. My life is not my own. It belongs to the people of LisTirna.” Dayne’s voice was so heavy with duty it no longer sounded like his. He sounded like an old man, harping about the kind of obligations and commitments that consumed a life until there was nothing left.
“But what about…” My whispered plea was cut off.
“Us?” He asked tilting his head toward me with a wistful look that showed me the tiniest glimpse of my Dayne.
“Look at you, Faye.” His brow curled down in a bittersweet smile and my heart leapt in my chest at this first sign of tenderness, tears pooling on my lashes. “You’ve gone from a fearful little church mouse to a feisty lioness who charged in here ready to take on the Sidhe singlehandedly.” He rose from the desk, walking back to where I stood, cupping my chin in his hand and pulling my face up to him. “I would’ve only stood in your way, Faye. Trust me when I tell you you’re much better off without me.”
The happy longing that had kept his frown from being gut wrenchingly sad wavered, falling away for a few brief seconds to reveal the true despair behind his goodbye. His jade eyes moistened the tiniest bit, but he quickly blinked the tears back. I wasn’t having such luck. The tears that had pooled on my lashes burst over my cheeks like a raging river, and I sniveled with the effort of keeping my sobs restrained.
Dayne sighed softly against my cheek, planted a whisper of a kiss on my forehead and then quickly turned away. A gaping hole ripped right through my chest the moment his hands left me because I feared they would never touch me again.
“But, Dayne, I need you. He’s coming for me. He knows what I am and he will kill me if he finds me.” I babbled, trying desperately to dam the tears and quiet my sobs.
“Whose coming for you?” He whirled back around, his eyes blazing hot.
“Chassan,” I whispered, almost afraid to say his name out loud.
“Chassan?” Dayne spit his name between clenched teeth, unmistakably enraged by the thought of the angel of death that hunted me. “How did you get mixed up with the likes of him?” Dayne asked, his eyes narrowing as he said him.
“He’s the one that taught me how to use my powers. It was the only shot I had. I didn’t know…” I stopped and bit my lip, thinking. What didn’t I know? That Chassan was dangerous? No, I’d been warned. That he was an angel of death? No, I knew that, too. That if anyone ever knew of the dangerous magic I wielded they would kill me? Yep, I knew the danger full well when I had sought Chassan out. But it hadn’t stopped me.
“How could you be so stupid, Faye?” Dayne roared and pulled at his face.
“Stupid?” I yelled, enraged by his accusation. “Because I was left all alone in the world with my magic waking up and no one to turn to?” I threw my arms in the air and then punched them in angry fists at my sides. “I had no choice. I risked my life to find such dangerous magic because he was the only option I had.” I gritted my teeth and put my face right in his. “Had you come back for me, I never would have sought him out. Don’t you dare blame me for this!” I screamed back, shaking with rage and leaning into him with a ferocity that matched his own.
Dayne was still as a statue, the only evidence of his rage the endless thrumming of his pulse at his temple and his jaw muscles working overtime to calm him. I stood still too, bringing my hand to my forehead, rubbing at my temples to try to calm the wild thoughts rushing through me like wildfire.
This was not going how I had envisioned our happy reunion. When I came to LisTirna, I thought Dayne would either walk out with me and defend me in my world, or beg his mother to let me stay in his world.
But those two options had been blown to smithereens by the stranger Dayne had become. Blindly, I stumbled for a seat against the far wall, needing to sit down since the world had suddenly started spinning.
I fell into a thick fur covered chair, continuing to wearily rub at my head.
“Mother will never let you stay here.” Dayne said from somewhere in the distance, sounding so far way I didn’t even bother to look at him. “But if you revealed what you are to Chassan and he didn’t kill you on the spot that probably means he knows it won’t be an easy fight.” I wasn’t sure if Dayne was thinking out loud or trying to convince me of all this as he babbled.
When I finally raised my head, I slumped forward, propping my elbows on my knees and resting my chin in my hands—feeling utterly defeated.
I hadn’t noticed it when I entered Dayne’s room before, too distracted by seeing him for the first time in too long. There was a second chamber to his room, sectioned off by the large wall covered with the carved Celtic cross. Another room so large it made the one we were in look like a closet. I leaned way over in the chair to peer around the carved stone. There was movement hiding in the shadows, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
Closing my eyes and breathing deeply to refocus, I peered into the darkness with my eyes glowing, dispelling the shadows that lingered.
That’s when I saw her.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Fight of Flight
They say everyone has a twin.
Dayne must have searched the world high and low to find mine. Staring into eyes that held some sort of semblance to my own, but clouded by the cold, dead spell of LisTirna, my insides turned to vapors and I wanted to vanish on the spot.
Instead, I burst from the chair, launching my body across the room so quickly I was nothing but a blur of arms and legs. As I approached her, she rose from where she sat on the stone floor atop a massive pile of silk pillows.
I instantly hated her, jealousy coursing through my veins hot as lava ready to erupt.
Had it been last summer, I would’ve sworn I was looking into a mirror. Her hair curled in profuse honeyed waves to her waist, tied out of the way with thick blue ribbons. She wore a loose, gauzy gown of blindingly white fabric and the same trancelike smile Christine had worn in this world. Circling her wrists were two milky, stone bracelets, so tight they cut into her skin.
She started towards me, smiling, as if she were welcoming me into whatever this new room was. Glowing torches covered the walls and they flamed against their confines the moment my anger ignited low and hot in my belly. Again, my breath came fast and hard, like I had just run a marathon, gasping for air that did little to calm my growing rage.
“Faye!” Dayne rushed into the room, hot on my heels. “It’s not what you think.” He threw himself between us, protecting the interloper from the danger of my wrath. It only made me hate them both. Her for being there. Him for acting as if she belonged and I was the one who didn’t.
I stalked away to keep from tearing the flesh from his face in an uncontrolled fit of rage, hands balled into fists, eyes so narrowed I could barely see.
“Oh, I don’ t think...I know exactly what she is,” I spit the words from my mouth with so much hate-filled vehemence he shrunk away from me, his eyes darting wildly to the flaming sconces roaring against the wall.
“Faye, I’m not…” he raised his hands defensively in front of him as he spoke. My twin looked from me to him and back again with a mildly concerned look on her unsettlingly familiar face.
“Save your lies for someone else!” I raised my own hand to silence him, cutting off whatever lame excuse he was about to try to sell me with his tricky half-truths. “I’ll tell you what you are. You’re no different from the rest of them. Your overbearing mother. Your bored father. Your vengeful sister. You’re just like all of them.” I walked towards him now, but my rage was so dangerously close to bursting loose he back pedaled away from me. “I’m just sorry I didn’t see through you a long time ago, because I never would have given a g
uy like you the chance to break my heart!” I screamed, hoping my tears would stay behind my eyes long enough for me to get out of there—away from him and whoever my evil twin was.
Before I knew what I was doing my feet were moving, arms flailing at my sides as I ran from his room. Back down the spiraling staircase, through the entryway, past a bench where more robot-human servants sat waiting for an order. Over the rough cobble-stoned courtyard and through the giant yawning mouth of the castle’s gate.
I didn’t stop, though I didn’t really know where I was going. Dayne was behind me, running to try to catch me. His pleas fell on deaf ears, but I sensed the vibrations of his body moving behind mine, his breath coming fast as he pursued me into the woods. I was too fast for him, and before long he was well out of range for me to sense him. Left in the shadows as I ran faster than he could ever possibly keep up with.
Stopping in the middle of a clearing to get my bearings once I was certain he couldn’t catch me, I interlaced my fingers and rested them behind my head, looking all around as I thought.
I stood in a large clearing, a low point in the forest completely enchanted with LisTirna’s magic. The incessantly plucked string music was replaced with bird chatter and a rainbowed swarm of butterflies filled the air, making it appear like the dream I remembered instead of the nightmare I was living.
Woods surrounded the valley on three sides. The forth side was nothing but purply-pink air; a rocky cliff dropping straight down into some new, unknown depth of the Sidhe’s strange world.
Blue green grass swayed in the breeze, tickling my thighs, swishing as I took a few steps, desperately searching for anything that would show me the way out. From the vast chasm of nothing in front of me to the furthest distant horizon, I saw nothing that I remembered from my brief time in LisTirna months before. Everything was so strange, unsettlingly unfamiliar, and the reality of how alone I was crashed over me in frigid waves.
Every heartbroken piece of me wanted to turn around, wanted to run back to him, but that was no longer an option. He didn’t want to fight for me, and what was maybe worse—he didn’t want me to fight for him, either.
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