by Betsy Haynes
"I just remembered. I've got to study for social studies," said Beth, breaking away and heading for the school. She was running by the time she reached the door.
She pushed her way inside and bumped into Mona Vaughn.
"Excuse me!" she said, and headed for the nearest girl's room. There were three girls inside, but they were busy combing their hair and didn't notice her as she went into one of the stalls.
Beth sat down and covered her face with her hands and the tears ran through her fingers. She shook with silent sobs, and visions of Keith and Christie having fun in Christie's family room filled her mind.
How was she ever going to make it through the day?
CHAPTER 11
Beth saw Christie and Keith walking in the halls holding hands four times that morning. Once she even had to duck into a classroom so she wouldn't have to confront them. "Oops! Excuse me," said Beth as she stepped back into the hall and ran into Heather Clark and Sara Sawyer.
"Heather and I were just talking about you," said Sara.
"Oh?" Her curiosity aroused, Beth fell in step with them.
"Well, about you and Christie really," said Heather. "You guys are really cool, the way Christie quit going with Jon Smith and now she's dating Keith, and it doesn't even seem to bother you."
"How do you do it?" asked Sara. "I'd be so jealous."
Beth shrugged her shoulders, suddenly wishing she were somewhere else. She couldn't let them know she was just acting as if Christie and Keith's dating didn't bother her. It was the hardest acting job she had ever done, and she didn't even want the part.
"I bet they had it planned all along," Heather said to Sara.
"That's it!" she said turning back to Beth. "You did, didn't you? I bet you're going to date Jon and Christie is going to date Keith. Gosh, you guys are cool."
"No, I'm not going to date Jon," answered Beth. "I haven't even seen Jon for a while."
"Oh." Heather seemed deflated that she hadn't guessed right. "Well, I still think you guys are cool. I couldn't stand it if my best friend dated the guy I had been going with. I mean, even if I didn't like him anymore. It would seem as if my privacy had been invaded or something."
Beth made a quick right at an intersection in the hallway and left them standing looking after her.
If she hadn't felt so bad, she would have laughed at what Heather and Sara had said. They thought she was cool, that she didn't care that Christie and Keith were dating. What a joke! she thought. It just proves how good an actress I really am.
Beth took longer than usual in the girls' room washing her hands for lunch. She wanted to miss the rush of kids entering the cafeteria right at noon. She wasn't sure she could have another conversation like the one with Heather and Sara without crying. She would die if she broke down in front of people.
She took a deep breath and forced a smile as she entered the cafeteria. No one seemed to notice her as she picked up a tray and utensils. She hung back to leave space between herself and Curtis Trowbridge and Whitney Larkin so she wouldn't have to talk to them. She didn't want to take any chances on someone's starting a conversation about Keith and Christie and how cool she was for not caring. She'd probably break down and start blubbering right there in front of the whole cafeteria.
Jana, Katie, Christie, and Melanie were sitting at The Fabulous Five's regular table when she came through the line. They scooted over to make room for her.
"Hi, Julie," said Melanie.
Beth smiled and said, "Hi."
"Is Tony going before the Teen Court this week?" Christie asked Katie.
Katie blushed. "No, not this week. At least not that I know of."
"Give him a chance. He'll think of a way to get there," said Jana.
"Hey, look," Katie protested. "Tony's not bad. He's just misunderstood. He helped organize the march for the hungry, didn't he?"
"We know he did," said Jana. "We were just teasing you."
"I wonder if he would have done it if Katie hadn't been his partner." Melanie kidded.
"Did you all see how everyone looked at us Friday night when we were wearing our T-shirts?" asked Katie. "I think they went over really big."
"I'll say," said Christie. "Melinda Thaler came up to me today and told me how great she thought we looked."
"Maybe we ought to go to the movie together again this Friday night and wear them then," suggested Katie.
"I already told Randy I'd go with him," said Jana.
"And I'm going with Scott," said Melanie.
"Oh, I didn't think before I suggested it," said Katie. "Tony asked me to go with him, too. I guess that shoots that idea."
"It was a good idea," said Christie. "Maybe we should pick one day out of the week and wear our T-shirts to school." They all agreed.
Christie looked at Beth as the others went on talking. "Do you have a date for the movies on Friday?" she asked, a look of concern on her face.
The question caught Beth by surprise, and she shook her head no. She was afraid to speak because her voice might quiver.
"If you don't get a date, why don't you go with Keith and me?" Christie asked. "You know Keith won't mind, and I hate to see you not go."
Beth braced herself before she answered. She knew that Christie was trying to be nice, but how could she go with her and Keith? It would be like sticking a knife in her own heart.
She fought to keep the smile on her face and the tears out of her eyes. She remembered one of the rules of acting: concentrate on your lines. That's exactly what she did.
"Maybe," she answered smiling. "I might still get a date before then, though."
It's like a part in a play, she told herself. If I decide that this character, named Beth, is not in love with this other character named Keith Masterson, and it doesn't bother her to talk about him, I can do it. I can do it if I can just remember I'm acting a part in a play.
CHAPTER 12
"All right, everyone," said Mr. Levine. "Let's call it a day. You all did very well. Remember, we're doing the scene next where Ronnie's parents come to Julie's house. Beth, may I speak to you a minute?"
Beth gathered her books from the chair and followed him off the stage. She knew she had blown a couple of her lines, but she was tired and had lost her concentration. And with Keith and Christie on her mind, she had had a terrible time remembering to be Julie. She hoped she hadn't done so badly that he would chew her out. She didn't realize that acting could be such hard work.
"I've got to tell you, Beth, that you're doing a fine job; I'm amazed that you've learned your lines so quickly, and you seem to understand the part of Julie very well. I normally wouldn't expect someone in the seventh grade to do as well as you are."
His words were wonderful to hear. They were the best thing that had happened to her in the last several days.
"Do you really mean it?" she asked, afraid he would say no, that he was just kidding.
"I certainly do. You remember Mr. Stapleton who was here last week at the tryouts, don't you?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Well, there's a strong possibility that he'll be coming back for our opening night. I'd like for him to see you after we've had a chance to practice. He might have some suggestions for you."
Beth felt as if she were floating on air as she left the auditorium. Mr. Levine had said she was a good actress. He hadn't said great, but that would come if she worked hard enough.
She had always felt she could be an actress, but Mr. Levine's compliment made it seem much more real. It was like getting a stamp of approval. Like making an A on a test you thought you had failed. It was even better than having your friends and family tell you how good you were. They nearly always told you that, even if they didn't mean it a whole lot.
Beth put her books away after she had finished studying that night. She had worked particularly hard on social studies to make up for not having studied as hard as she should have before the test.
She picked up her script and opened it to the scene the
y would be working on Wednesday. It was kind of ironic. Now that she had the role of Julie, she still had to study the script, but it didn't seem as hard. She had more time than she had thought she would have.
I don't really have so much to do that I couldn't study with Keith sometimes, she thought. But it doesn't look as if that makes much difference now. If she had only known when they were talking about it before.
She hadn't talked to him since she saw him in line at Bumpers. He could have called, but he hadn't.
Beth fell onto the bed and thumbed through the script. It was sad that the one thing she had always wanted to do was costing her the boy she liked best.
Would it have made a difference if she had told Keith she wouldn't go out for the play? She had thought about it before, and she wondered again if he had just been looking for an excuse to break up with her.
Keith had been complaining to her about not having enough time together ever since Christie broke up with Jon. Had Keith wanted to date Christie all along?
She thought hack to their days at Mark Twain Elementary and tried to remember any clues she might have missed. Were there times when Keith seemed to hang around Christie a lot? She couldn't remember any, but that didn't mean there hadn't been.
She sighed. Keith obviously liked Christie or he wouldn't be dating her and spending so much time with her at school. Did he think she was prettier than Beth? She is smarter. There's no doubt about that. But I'm no dummy, she thought angrily. She rubbed the moisture from her eyes with the corner of her pillow slip.
It was getting harder and harder to talk to Christie. It seemed as if all she ever wanted to talk about anymore was Keith and what music he liked and what pizza he liked and how much fun he was. I can't talk about him all the time. It hurts too much.
Deep down Christie must know how much Beth still liked him. How could she not? Why couldn't she see that her going with Keith was tearing up Beth?
Because I'm such a good actress, thought Beth. I told her it would be all right if she dated Keith. I told her I was thinking of breaking up with him the way she had with Jon. But why did she have to believe me?
Beth took her time getting ready for school the next morning. She changed clothes three times trying to decide what to wear and actually managed to eat breakfast, even though Alicia was talking the entire time and Agatha was begging for the empty cereal bowl to lick.
She slowed her pace as she neared the school grounds and timed her entrance perfectly. The school bell was ringing just as she turned onto the walk that led to the door. She waved at her friends, who were standing at their regular place, and went on into the building. It would be easier if she didn't have to talk to them.
During the day, Beth walked through the hallways as quickly as she could between each of her classes and pretended to study as soon as she got into the classrooms. Between her second and third class, she caught a glimpse of Keith and Christie talking in the hall, and she turned and went the other way.
When lunch period came, Beth took the sandwich she had brought from home and went out onto the school grounds with her script. She found an isolated spot in the sun at the side of the building and made herself comfortable.
Beth read through her part and ate her lunch, then she read it again. By the time the bell rang ending the lunch period, she had read through it so many times she thought she could say it backwards.
"Where have you been?" asked Jana. She and Katie had caught up with her in the hall. "We missed you at lunch."
"I was studying my part," Beth responded, holding up the script. "I thought it would be easier if I brought my lunch today and went outside to read."
"How's it going?" Katie asked.
"You wouldn't believe it. Mr. Levine said he really liked what I was doing, and Mr. Stapleton might be here for opening night. Mr. Levine said he wants him to see me act. Can you imagine how I'd feel if he offered to cast me in a part in a Broadway play? I get stage fright just thinking about it."
"Great!" said Jana.
"I guess not going with Keith has given you more time to study for your role," said Katie. "I like the way you've set your priorities and stuck with it. More girls ought to be like you."
"I agree," said Jana. "Only I don't think I could give up Randy the way you gave up Keith. And it's amazing how it doesn't even seem to bother you that he's dating Christie."
Beth felt her stomach tighten. Everyone thought she was doing such a great thing, and it was really just a mistake. If she hadn't opened her mouth and said all those dumb things to get even with Keith, she would still be going with him.
Beth shook her head and smiled in response to Jana's comment. She couldn't make herself say anything.
"You really are in control of your life," said Katie. "Because of some of the, uh, excuse me . . . not so smart things you've done, I wouldn't have thought you could give up Keith for a career in acting."
Beth felt like an idiot standing in front of two of her best friends listening to them praise her for something she wished had never happened. It took real control for her not to break down and cry right then and there.
CHAPTER 13
Beth put her pom-pons on the pile with the others and walked onto the track leading to the stadium exit. Melanie was walking ahead of her with Scott, and they were laughing. Cory Dillon had his arm around Taffy, and several other girls were walking with boys.
Beth felt lonely. She and Keith had been going together so long, and he had always been there to make things more fun, more exciting for her. She felt there was a gigantic void in her life. Was this the way people felt when they got divorced? If it was, she didn't want to have anything to do with it. She walked with her head down, scuffing her shoes in the track surface.
"Hi." Keith's voice made her turn quickly. She tried to recover her composure and look as if she weren't as surprised as she really was. He was smiling down at her in that special way she thought he had reserved for her. Did he smile that way at Christie, too?
"Oh, hi," she said as casually as she could. Had her voice cracked? Had it quivered? She would die if it had.
"How's the play going?" Keith asked.
"Fine."
What else could she say? Should she tell him what Mr. Levine had said about how well she was doing, that he wanted Mr. Stapleton to see her act? No. The play was the thing that had come between them in the first place.
She changed the subject instead. "How's football going? Are you ready for the game with Jefferson this Saturday?"
"I think so." Then his face brightened. "Coach said I've still got a chance for the rushing title, after all. He said Georgetown has played one more game than we have, so I'm not as far behind Mike Saharis as I thought I was. I might be able to take him this Saturday."
Beth looked at his face beaming with excitement. He loved playing football so much. He always got excited when he talked about it. He told her how he dreamed of making the high school team and then going to college on a football scholarship. It had gotten so she wanted it for him almost as much as he did.
"I'll be cheering for you," she said, touching his arm.
"I know you will," he said softly. He opened his mouth again as if he wanted to say something more.
She felt herself getting weaker as she looked into his eyes. They were so intense. For a second she thought she saw tears in his eyes. Hold on, she told herself. Don't make a fool out of yourself.
"Uh," he seemed to search for something else to say. "Are you going to the movies Friday? Christie said she asked you to go with us."
Beth's world came crumbling down around her. She could have sworn that he was going to say something different, something more meaningful. He had just casually mentioned that Christie had told him they were going to the movies together as if it were nothing for him to have her along when he was holding hands with Christie. She felt like crying one more time.
Instead, she pulled up all her courage. This is just like a play, she reminded herself. I can do it!
I can act as if nothing is wrong.
"I've got a date," she fibbed. And then before he could ask her whom she was going with, she changed the subject.
"I've been wanting to see this movie," she said with a cheerful laugh. "I hear it's funnier than Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
Keith looked at her, and his eyes looked sad for a moment, and then he laughed, too. They stood there laughing together, but Beth wasn't laughing on the inside.
Beth followed Melanie into Bumpers. She had told Melanie that she had to get home to study, but Melanie had insisted she come, at least for one soda.
Christie and Jana were sitting in one of the bright red bumper cars, talking. When they saw Beth and Melanie, they all moved to a booth by the old Wurlitzer jukebox.
"Where's Katie?" asked Melanie.
"Teen Court," said Christie.
"I wonder if Tony's in trouble again?" Jana mused. "I thought it was funny the way she was telling you about how she liked the way you had set your priorities, Beth. You know, choosing a career in acting over going with Keith. Especially the way she's fallen for Tony."
"That is a riot," said Melanie. "And she's the one who's always on my case for liking boys."
"Beth and Christie are the ones who have it under control," Jana said admiringly. "Christie decided she would rather just be best friends with Jon, and Beth decided she didn't have time to go steady, and they both did it."
Beth listened to them talking. It was as if she were watching them on a television. It all didn't seem real. She just smiled and didn't say a word.
"When you put it that way, I guess we are a little special, eh, Beth?" Christie said, laughing and patting Beth's hand. "Leave it to us to start a new trend at Wacko. Women freed of male dominance. We ought to talk to Curtis Trowbridge about doing an article on us. Katie would love it. She might even write the article herself."
"Keith told me you have a date for the movies," said Christie. "Who's it with?"
"You'll have to wait and see," Beth said, crossing her fingers. Why had she told Keith she had a date when she didn't? Her big mouth was getting her in deeper and deeper again.