by J. Saman
“Marriage, huh?” He’s making fun of me now.
“Asshole,” I mutter.
“No, I mean it.” He doesn’t mean it at all. “Let’s go and get married. I think that will win Aubrey over.”
“I just said it to get you to stop and it worked.” I glare at him as I flip the mirror closed and the shade back up. “I could never marry such a mean man.”
He reaches over and grabs my hand, bringing it up to his lips. “Never say never, doll.”
“Whatever,” I grumble. “Are we there yet?” I whine like a little kid.
“Yes. We are.” He points to a sign on the high way indicating an exit for the beach. Ah. So that’s his plan. He’s taking me to the beach for the day. But I thought he said I’d be naked soon and there is no way I’m getting naked on a beach in Georgia. That and it’s only in the low seventies, not quite beach weather yet.
But I stay quiet as he seems to know where he’s going.
“Holy shit, Xander. What did you do?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them, as he pulls us into a five-star resort on the beach. He’s silently smiling, but I can’t seem to pick my jaw up off the ground. “This is too much,” I whisper.
He pulls up out front and the eager valet comes over, opening the door for me. I step out, but my head instantly swivels around to see Xander, who is handing an overnight bag to a bellhop before he walks over and takes my hand.
“Come on.”
I want to protest. I really do, because a place like this no doubt demands top dollar and Xander does not have that type of money. But if this is what he wants to do then I need to trust him, because Xander would never ever spend money he didn’t have.
But still.
I don’t listen to a word as Xander checks us in. My eyes are too busy scanning over the opulent yet classically southern lobby with marble floors, lots of creams and buttery yellows in the form of soft fabrics, sheer drapes and tall pillars. There are palm ferns everywhere. The only words I caught were ocean view suite and dinner reservations, but as the doors to our suite are opened by the porter, I gasp.
This is way more than a suite.
We enter through a marble foyer, passing a half bathroom and a small kitchen and dining area that lead into a huge living room with plush overstuffed couches and chairs, again in varying shades of yellow and cream. The view is unbelievable. Completely unobstructed views of the sandy beach with the blue Atlantic beyond.
I’m opening the large sliding glass doors that lead out to the balcony, stepping into the warm sunshine and strong salty breeze without noticing anything else.
The balcony—which would be better termed veranda—has a small seating area with two iron chairs and a table between them on one side, and on the other, two chaise lounges. I feel the warmth of Xander’s body pressed against my back as his hands come up to the railing on either side of mine, essentially caging me in.
“Before you start to get yourself all worked up,” his mouth kisses a trail up my neck, “I got a really good last minute rate and they gave us a free room upgrade. So stop with all of the dollars and cents shit I know you’re doing.”
I laugh, unable to pull my eyes off the white caps on the water coming into shore. “I’m not.” He nudges my back with his body. “Okay,” I relent. “Maybe I was a little.”
Xander’s nose is running up my neck and I’m finding it hard to think about anything other than his body against mine and the ocean in front of me.
“I wanted to take you somewhere special. Some place for just the two of us that we don’t have to share with anyone else.”
I’m smiling so big that my cheeks actually hurt with the effort. “This is incredible, Xander. Truly. Thank you.” I lean my head back against his chest.
“And you haven’t even seen the bedroom yet,” he rasps in my ear.
“Do I have to leave this view to get there?”
He chuckles softly against my sensitive skin making me shiver everywhere. “No, but I’d really like to strip you naked and fuck you with the sound of the waves in the background.”
“That seems like a worthy goal.”
He nods against me. “It is, but I seem to remember something about my dick in your mouth.”
Oh. Right. I did say that, didn’t I? I spin around and in a flash, I’m on my knees in front of him.
“Not out here, baby.”
But I’m ignoring that since there is no one out on their balconies on either side of us. I checked.
“Fuck,” he groans loudly as I undo his pants, taking him deeply in my mouth. Maybe he’s right about not doing this out here. But I don’t really want to stop either. I’m enjoying myself, and the way he looks and sounds, way too much. It’s beyond sexy to watch him come undone like this.
“Abby,” he growls, his hand fisting into my hair. “I don’t want to come like this.” Yeah, I sort of don’t care about that right now. “Please, baby. Ah.” His head falls back before coming forward again to watch me. He can’t take his eyes off of me for long. Have I mentioned how hot that is? But just as I feel his thighs start to tense and I know he’s getting close, he rips me up and off of him by my hair, crashing his mouth down on mine. “I said I want you in bed.”
Xander scoops me up, tossing me over his shoulder, smacking my ass hard and making me yelp out in surprise. He tosses me on the bed with a big bounce and I crawl back to the center of the giant four poster king-sized bed, lying back on the silky duvet. The balcony door is open, letting in the salty breeze I was just enjoying, and the sound of crashing waves.
He’s on top of me in the next moment, but instead of kissing or stripping me down, he just holds me tight in his arms. It’s nice. Really freaking nice, and I decide that if we never move again I’d be okay with that.
“Tell me this is real, Abby,” he whispers, but the vulnerability in his voice makes me roll over to face him.
“What?” I ask, brushing his hair back that’s dancing lightly around his forehead in the persistent breeze.
His eyes search mine, looking like glowing sapphires in the bright sunshine. “You and me. Tell me it’s real. Tell me that no matter what, you’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him, but he shakes his head.
“I mean it. I can’t handle having you like this and then losing you again.” He shakes his head, letting out a long weighty sigh, looking away from me out at the view, but not exactly seeing that either. “I know things are going to get really complicated for us when we go back. Aubrey is going to be difficult. He’ll fight us on this, big time. He’s made it clear to me time and time again that he doesn’t want us together. It was no secret.”
I reach up and touch his cheek, brushing my knuckles against the one-day old scruff that he didn’t shave off this morning. “But you didn’t listen to him,” I say softly.
His eyes leave the sunshine in favor of mine. “I didn’t listen. I never really understood it, in all honesty. But then after everything went bad between us, his warning no longer mattered. It became moot because I never thought it would happen for us again.” His eyes close briefly as I scrape my nails against his scalp, running my hands through his hair. “So, what I need to know is—” His eyes open again, looking straight into mine. “I need to know you’re not going anywhere. That when Aubrey throws his temper tantrum at me, at us, that you won’t give into it.”
I want to say yes, instantly. I really do, but I still find myself pausing to think about it. Aubrey is not only my brother, he’s my twin, my best friend. The constant other half of my life that I will not live without. But I have faith in the idea that if Aubrey sees Xander and I together, he’ll eventually be okay with it. I mean, he has to be, right? So I find myself saying, “I promise.”
“Why don’t you sound sure?”
“I am,” I say firmly, resolutely. “I’m sure. And Aubrey will come around, Xander. He did with Kyle and he will with you.”
“Kyle was high school.
We live together. It’s different and it’s going to be an issue for him.”
“I know. But we’ll figure it out together, okay?”
“Okay.” He smiles down on at me, before kissing the hell out of me. And for the rest of afternoon, I don’t think of Aubrey once.
CHAPTER 30
THE BRIGHT SUN IS SHINING in the early afternoon sky as we head back to a reality I am not yet ready to return to. We’d woken up at dawn to watch the sunrise over the ocean even though we’d been up late with dinner and each other, the night before.
The night could not have been more perfect. Dinner consisted of non-stop talking to the point where we closed the restaurant. Neither of us wanted it to end. Like we were playing a game of beat the clock without any winners. Then we made love, again, and spent more hours wrapped in each other just talking.
I can say without hesitation or reservation that last night was the best of my life.
But now I’m dragging. Beyond fitful and anxious. My euphoria bubble feels like it’s about to burst and then I’ll turn back into a pumpkin or a maid, or whatever the hell that chick was.
Or maybe I’m just tired.
This was two nights in a row with limited sleep and if I don’t get a good night tonight, I’ll get sick again in a flash once classes start back up.
I’m still on antibiotics from the pneumonia, for Christ’s sake.
The morning was hotter than usual, so after splashing around in the heated pool at the resort, it was time to leave. It was the perfect night away. The perfect getaway with the perfect guy, but as we pull into the garage and the top closes on my car, we both sit in a silence that speaks volumes.
“He’ll be home in about an hour.”
Aubrey had texted from the airport just before we pulled in. It’s a little more than an hour from us. Xander nods his head once, looking out the windshield at the cement walls in front of us.
“It’ll be fine,” I say but I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince, him or me.
I’m hauled onto his lap in one sudden movement, his lips on mine like he’s afraid he’ll never kiss me again. Xander’s hands are everywhere and I’m sure mine are too, but all I can focus on is the sensation of his mouth on mine. Of his tongue taking everything that I have to give him.
There is an urgency to him.
A panicked fierceness that I can’t help but respond to and match with my own.
“I love you, Abby.” His voice ragged as we try to catch our breaths.
“Relax, Xander.” I attempt a smile that I know looks as forced as it feels. “It’s just Aubrey. Neither one of us is going off to war.” He smiles, but doesn’t laugh.
“Let’s go upstairs. I don’t want him to see the overnight bag.”
I nod in full agreement with that. We walk hand in hand to the elevator, our shared duffel bag in his hand.
“We could always keep us a secret from him,” I half tease.
“No,” he says, not kidding at all, as we step onto the elevator and he presses the button for our floor. “We can’t. I won’t lie to him and I won’t hide us.”
“Right. That’s better.”
He smirks, but I can tell his nerves are shot. I know he loves my brother and the thought of losing that friendship, that bond, is real to him. Something painful. I find myself wondering if I’m worth all of this trouble.
But I don’t ask.
I know what he’ll say, but I am at the point where I don’t want to let him go, and I’d never forgive Aubrey if he made me.
“Will you sit down? You’re making me nuts,” Xander says from the couch, watching a movie that I have no interest in, while I pace between the living room and the half wall of the kitchen.
“I can’t.” My eyes flash to his as I pass. “Don’t ask me for things that you know I can’t do. He’ll be here any second and my nerves are shot to shit.”
“Fine. But no more caffeine.” He gives me a pointed look that I ignore because it’s either diet coke or alcohol, and I don’t want to be drunk when we talk to Aubrey. The caffeine probably isn’t the best thing either since I’m moving so fast, I’m about to fly.
“How are we going to do this?” I’m chewing the hell out of my cuticles as I pace. “Are we just going to come out with it? Are we going to sit him down or are we just going to wait for a good time?”
“Abby, come sit with me, baby. You’re a little off right now, and to be honest, I’m scared of you.”
I shoot him a look that says I’m not amused. “Now, who’s hot, who not? Tell me who rock, who sell out in the stores. You tell me who flopped—”
“And we’ve officially reach the rapping portion for our evening. Abby—” But before he can finish, the front door flies open. I’m racing across the small space between where I’m standing on the front door in less than a second, tossing myself into my brother’s arms.
“Oomph. Jesus, Abby.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He laughs, dropping his bag and hugging me back just as tightly. “I missed you too. I’m glad to see you’re better. I was worried.” He kisses the top of my head before pulling away, shutting the door that he’d left open to hug me and picking back up his large black duffel.
“Hey, man.” Xander nods at him, giving him a hug and a bro shake, keeping his distance from me. “How was your trip home?”
“Good. Slept like a baby the whole way. Dude,” Aubrey slaps Xander’s back hard enough to make a clapping sound. “You have to come next time. It was freaking awesome.” Xander is smiling at him, but I can see the anxious glint to his eye. “This strip club we went to one night?” Aubrey shakes his head. “Damn.”
“Yeah. That sounds great. Next time.” I shoot him a look that says, really? And he shoots me back one that says, what would you have me say? And then I shoot him one back that says, not that before you tell my brother about us. And then he looks a little sheepish. “You hungry?”
“Yeah, Xander’s right.” Shit, that was a stupid thing to say. “You must be hungry. Let me make you something to eat,” I finish quickly.
Aubrey laughs. “Why are you two babying me? What’s going on?” He looks at both of us, his eyes bouncing back and forth and then they grow hard. “What the fuck is going on here?” It’s a terrible thing when someone knows you well enough to see what you’re hiding with just a look. Crap
I look to Xander, but he’s not looking at me at all now. His eyes are one hundred percent focused on Aubrey. “I love her, man,” is all he says.
“Shit.” Aubrey runs a hand through his auburn hair, the same shade as mine. He’s trying to think this through. I can see his gears moving.
“And she loves me back.”
“Screw that,” Aubrey snaps, glaring at each of us in turn like he can’t decide who to take his wrath out on first.
He drops his bag back onto the floor with a heavy thud, walking past us into the kitchen where he instantly starts pacing exactly the way I was moments ago. Siblings, right?
“I told you. I fucking told you to stay away from her. Years ago.” He’s ranting now, his hands in his hair, tugging a little.
“I can’t. I couldn’t.” Xander is calm. Way calmer than I am. My heart is racing and I’m starting to sweat like a fat man at the beach. My nails are being chomped down to nothing.
“Aubrey, please just listen,” I start and Xander throws me a look that says shut up and let me handle this. Right. I forgot. My bad. “Death Row is the label that pays me. Shit. Sorry.” I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I’m really losing it here.
“You should be nervous, Abby. I’m about to unleash holy hell on you because this is all your fault.” Aubrey snaps, walking over and standing in front of me. His fists clenched at his sides. I see Xander flinch like he wants to stand in between us, but Aubrey would never hurt me and Xander knows this, which is why he holds back.
“Aubrey,” I try again, emulating for the Zen I’ve seen Xander employ. “Nothing was planned
here. It just happened and it’s good. We’ve loved each other for a long time, but things got in the way and—”
“I don’t want to hear it from you.” Aubrey slashes the air in front of me. “You make men fall in love you all the time, Abby. That’s nothing new here.” My jaw drops. I might have stopped breathing too, I can’t be sure. “They always fall in love with you. Every fucking guy you talk to. I knew how he,” he points out to his side at Xander, “felt about you. I knew it years ago, which was why I told him not to touch you. I figured as a friend he’d hold up that part.”
“Aubrey,” Xander sighs but Aubrey holds up his hand towards him, his eyes burning into mine.
“No. I’m not done with my sister yet.”
I cringe.
“You make these guys fall in love with you and the second the poor bastards profess their undying adoration, you kick them to the curb.”
I’m shaking my head vigorously. “That’s not true. I just didn’t love any of those guys back.”
“Exactly.” Aubrey nods like he’s proving a point here. “You don’t love any of them back. None of them. You hurt all of them, Abby, and I don’t want to watch you do it my best friend. Again.”
I gasp, my hands flying up to my chest. “I loved Kyle back,” I snap indignantly. “I didn’t kick him to the curb when he told me he loved me. I dated him for almost three years.”
Aubrey starts to laugh one of those crazed Hollywood movie laughs that sounds more like a cackle, and I swear I feel my blood freeze over. Xander is just standing there, watching us with a look on his face I can’t decipher. But he’s quiet. Unspeaking and unmoving and I don’t know what to think about that.
“Is that so?” He’s baiting me.
“Yes.” I swallow hard.
“Then why aren’t you at NYU with Kyle now?”
And there it is. His brilliant point at how I manage to fuck up his friendships and ruin men left and right. Because that’s where he’s headed with this. I’m about to be punished royally for not wanting my high school boyfriend to be my forever guy and for not falling for every guy I ever dated.