Malcolm focused back on the screen. “No. I don’t have time for a break. There’s a small window for me to hack this system. As soon as the scanner I placed in Geneticist Walken’s home is discovered, I’ll lose my access. I may never get another chance like this. They do a good job of keeping their network completely secure.”
“So this doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that you’ve purchased Billy’s doppelganger?”
Malcolm felt the muscles in his eyes twitch as he wrote another string of code, typing on the Glass surface of his desk. It gave him time to ensure his voice would be steady when he spoke. “Billy wasn’t a cripple.” Kaleana would notice the lower than normal pitch of his voice.
“No, but it wasn’t Billy’s legs you were most interested in.”
“As much as I know you enjoy psychoanalyzing me, I really don’t have the time.” He kept typing, hoping Kaleana would leave him alone. She was a blessing and a curse. No, just a blessing. He knew it. Ever since she had been given to him by his father when he was twelve, Kaleana had been the only person he could talk to. The price he paid for confiding in her was her intimate knowledge of him. She was the only person who had ever really known him. Times like these reminded him why he didn’t let people into his life.
“You haven’t had time since you bought Will.”
“This is proving more difficult than I had originally thought.” The lines scrolling by on the screen held promise.
“You’re telling me I really shouldn’t read anything into the fact that as soon as you bought a Zed who looks strikingly like Billy, you stopped eating with the boys?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”
“All right, then let me take care of you. You’re under more stress than normal. I don’t need you to reciprocate in any way if you don’t want to have sex. Just let me relieve some of the pressure.”
“No.”
“You want it. More than that, you need it.”
Of course he did. He craved it with every fiber of his being, but he couldn’t let Kaleana do it. Not now with the spitting image of Billy constantly behind his eyes. “No, I don’t.”
“I’ve known you too long to believe that.”
That she did. “And you’ve also known me too long to honestly believe I’m going to discuss this with you.” Malcolm could feel her eyes boring into him, could practically see the purse of her lips as she scrutinized him. It took a considerable amount of willpower to keep his eyes on the screen. He wished she would leave.
“If you want to play it that way, Malcolm, that’s fine. I’m patient. I can wait you out.” Kaleana stood. Malcolm almost sighed with relief. “I’ll go get our lunches and bring them up here. Is there anything specific you’d like?”
Of course she would eat with him. She always did. The only time he ever ate without her was when he was away from home and had left her behind. “No, whatever is fine.”
He didn’t look up until he heard her leave. It was one of the advantages of the old-fashioned doors that opened in and out on hinges instead of sliding silently shut. The warm brown of the wood was virtually the only color in his black and white office.
As a child, Malcolm had seen pictures of buildings before the Great Destruction and had toured ruins on school outings. The doors always fascinated him. What secrets had they locked away? What lives did they conceal? How had the people of that long-ago time felt walking through them? His childhood imagination took great pleasure in inventing stories for those long-dead people. People who didn’t have Alpha, Beta, or Zed appended to their name. What a medley they must have been.
When he’d bought and renovated the house, he had insisted on the old doors. It was a small bit of sentiment, a connection to the ancient people the Geneticists were aiming to recreate. The radiation from the Great Destruction had greatly altered the human genome. It was the Geneticists’ job to reconstruct it, one generation at a time.
His computer beeped, drawing his attention back to the screen. Finally, a chink in the armor. He had been beginning to think the Geneticists really were perfect. With a few taps of his fingers, he deployed the program he had specifically written for this moment. His eyes danced across the screen, watching for any sign that he had been detected or that the program had a bug. Nothing. It couldn’t have gone any smoother.
A twinge of worry fired in his brain. Had it been too easy? No. They were good but not perfect. If they were perfect, the Geneticists would have succeeded a long time ago and abolished the caste system. All around him was the proof that they weren’t perfect. If anything, they were overconfident.
Malcolm relaxed back into his chair. There was nothing more for him to do but wait for the program to do its work. He could set his Glass Tab to alert him to any problems. He stood to go downstairs.
And promptly sat back down.
No. That wouldn’t do. He’d have to keep his success a secret from Kaleana, at least until after lunch. His stomach lurched at the thought of dining with the boys. He missed them, but it was better for everyone if he kept his distance. Especially now. He didn’t know what he had been thinking, buying that new Zed. There had been so many to choose from. As if it wasn’t bad enough living every day with the feelings he kept carefully buried, he had to go buy a Zed who looked like the one person who’d been able to coax those feelings to the surface. The yearning he tried to keep under control flared. It was so sweet, so enticing, yet there was no way to quench it. At least not properly.
It didn’t matter. It was done. He hoped the newcomer was fitting in well. Normally, he would ask Kaleana, but he didn’t relish the thought of giving her another opening. He swiped his finger across a corner of his desk, and another screen folded out of the surface. On this one, he brought up Solandra, a mindless card game, along with the camera feed from outside his door. He’d be able to shut the game down before Kaleana returned.
The mindlessness of the game proved detrimental. The Zed’s image kept creeping into his head, only it was a strange mix of him and Billy. No matter how much he tried to focus on the game, the image persisted. Curiosity won out, and he pulled up another camera feed. Malcolm scrolled through until he found him. He was in the kitchen with Carson and Kaleana. She spoke to the newcomer, and he lowered his head at something she said. Malcolm wondered what it was. He hoped there wasn’t a problem. Kaleana reached out and stroked the new kid’s hair, tilting her head to the side—a lapse in her usual prim efficiency. Malcolm wanted to ask her about it, but that would require admitting that he had been watching. It wasn’t the admission he minded; it was her follow-up questions and assumptions.
When Kaleana left the kitchen, Malcolm shut off the camera feed. After staring at the card game for a minute, he shut that down too along with the camera feed from outside his door. Instead, he decided to do some actual work and pulled up his messages. A notification blinked red on the surface of his desk.
Damn. It was a calendar item reminding him of the annual Eval. It was the last thing he needed. He dismissed the notification and pulled up inventory reports. Production was holding at a steady increase along with orders. If the Geneticists could be counted on for anything, it was their reliable need for syringes, needles, vials, injectors, collars—all the things that kept their little world running.
5
Five
“You’re early, Carson.” A Beta woman sliced a homemade loaf of bread. Will guessed it was sourdough from the smell that filled the kitchen, making him salivate.
“I’m here when I want to be. I brought along Will. Givin’ him the grand tour of the place.”
“Ah, good. I bet you’ve worked up quite the appetite. This place is larger than any man needs—even one with a litter of Zeds living under his roof.”
“Will, this is Marcy. She keeps us fed.”
“And out of trouble.” When Marcy smiled, a strand of black hair fell into her eyes. The loose strands framing her face were more girlish than messy. Wrinkles deepened her forehead
, and she had generous laugh lines. Her dark blue, almost violet eyes were kind and open. Everything about the woman seemed inviting. Will didn’t think he’d have any problem getting along with her, which was fortunate. Betas could make a Zed’s life miserable.
“It’s nice to meet you, Will. If you ever need anything, ask me. I won’t let you spoil your mealtime, but if you find yourself needing a snack or something, just come on down. I could always use the company. Also, let me know if you have any preferences. I try to cook to each of the boys’ preferences once a week. Now that there are seven of you, it works out perfect.”
Preferences? Will didn’t know how to have preferences, other than he preferred to be alive, healthy, and relatively pain-free. Here, a woman who held herself as if she were of a higher class of Beta than would normally be in service asked him if he had a preference as if she were taking his dinner order at a restaurant.
“Well?” Her smile hadn’t slackened, and a perpetual twinkle lit her eyes.
“I prefer anything that isn’t a Vitabar, ma’am.” It was the only thing he could think to say.
There was a momentary pause, and the twinkle dimmed slightly before Marcy broke out in a laugh. “Well, that I can manage. You let me know if you develop any favorites.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Marcy shook her head, still chuckling as she went back to preparing sandwiches for lunch.
“The blonde who just ducked out is Jessica. She’s shy. So, do you know what you want to do after lunch?”
“I was thinking about going back to the library and taking a look.”
“Good. Do you think you’ll be able to find your way back there?”
Will nodded. “Yeah, it’s on this floor.”
A minute later, the boys started to trickle into the kitchen.
“Do we not eat in the dining room for lunch?”
“Only if Malcolm requests it. Usually it’s just sandwiches and soup or salad for lunch.”
The boys laughed and teased each other, and Will felt the effects of the constant light atmosphere. It was such a change from the way he’d lived before, as if a weight he hadn’t realized he was carrying slowly lifted from his shoulders. No, not his shoulders. Deeper than that.
Carson’s eyes lit up. “Ah, Kaleana, is Malcolm joining us?”
Will turned to see Kaleana enter the kitchen behind him.
“No. He sends his regrets. A work project has him tied up.”
“Ah, no worries. We can manage on our own if we have to.”
“Aww, it’s b-b-been f-f-forever since he’s eaten with us.” Stu pouted.
“No, it hasn’t. It’s only been a couple of days. Don’t be so dramatic,” Tony said.
“He never stays away this long,” Nick spoke up. “Especially not with a new freak.”
Kaleana shot a sharp stare at Nick.
“Sorry, Kaleana. It’s not like he can hear me.”
“How do you know? He could be watching right now.”
“Sure, but he doesn’t have this place wired for audio.”
“Really?”
“Of course not. He would have kicked the likes of us out by now if he did.” Nick chuckled.
“I’d argue with you, but I’ve stumbled on enough of your conversations to know better.” Kaleana smiled. It was incredible how much younger it made her look. Or maybe smiling revealed how stressed her features regularly appeared. Will had the distinct impression that there was an entire world operating on the compound that no Zed but Kaleana knew about and that she worked to maintain the lovely illusion for the others. It seemed absurd that she should shoulder so much herself when there were seven other Zeds in the house and who knew how many other Zeds on the compound.
Kaleana turned from her conversation with Nick and sobered at the sight of Will, which did nothing to ease the feeling that he was the reason Malcolm no longer joined the others for meals.
“How are you doing, Will?”
“Fine, ma’am.”
Kaleana raised her eyebrows. “What did I tell you about calling me ma’am?”
Will ducked his head. He didn’t know what to call her when she so clearly outranked the rest of them. Her name didn’t come to his tongue with the same ease as the names of the other Zeds. It didn’t help that he was certain she knew the truth about why Malcolm wasn’t joining them and that it certainly had to do with him.
A soft touch on the side of his head made Will lift his eyes. Kaleana’s head was cocked to the side, and she examined him more carefully than anyone had since he’d arrived. “Hmm.”
Will didn’t know what that meant. Her touch was gentle and her expression warm, but there was something nostalgic in her hum, as if she remembered something. The change didn’t last long, and her face resumed its usual responsible look. “If you need anything, let me know. Did Carson show you how to use the messenger on your tab?”
“Yes, Kaleana.”
“Don’t be shy about using it. Just because you don’t see me much, doesn’t mean I’m not here for you.” She turned to grab a dining tray before Will could respond. “I’ll see you boys later.”
“T-t-t-tell M-M-M-Malcolm we miss him.”
“I will, Stuart. Have a nice lunch.”
After she left, they all settled in with ham sandwiches and vegetable soup. Jessica came back and joined them. She sat at the end of the table, whispering with Tony. Carson sat next to Will.
“She means it, Will. You’ve seen less of her than is normal, but don’t be shy. Once Malcolm isn’t so busy, you’ll see him more, and she’s usually with him.”
“From the way you all talk, I’m beginning to think I’m the reason he’s staying away.” Carson’s eyes flickered with acknowledgement. It was brief, but Will saw it. He’d expected it. “So is that her job, to take care of us? She seems more like the executive assistant type to me.”
“Oh, that she is. She cares about what Malcolm cares about. That means us and the business.”
“What business is that?” Will tried to keep the curiosity from his voice and face. The Zeds at his last Alpha’s had told him he was a superb liar when he didn’t care. But when he wanted something, his passion shone through.
“We don’t talk about it.”
“Don’t feed me Tony’s line. We’re not supposed to talk about Alphas, but we do. We all do it. You have no problem talking about him the rest of the time.”
Carson sighed. “He doesn’t want us knowin’, so we don’t.”
“Does Kaleana know?”
“I’d find it hard to believe that she doesn’t, but I have no doubt there are secrets he’s hidin’ even from her.”
How was it possible that none of them knew what Malcolm did? The man owned them, they lived under the same roof, and they didn’t even have an idea? Will didn’t doubt that Carson told the truth. There wasn’t a trace of deceit in his face, and in the little time Will had spent with the man, it didn’t appear to be in his nature to lie.
“What about the Betas? Do they know?”
“You’d have to ask them, but if they do know, they’re not goin’ to risk their jobs by discussin’ it with us.”
So Malcolm actively forbade it. Will couldn’t think of any reason why an Alpha would be so concerned about his Zeds knowing what he did for a living. Will wondered how Carson expected him to not try to figure Malcolm out when mysteries kept presenting themselves.
“Do we know what?” Marcy set down another tray of sandwiches for them. The boys all dove for seconds.
“Will was wonderin’—”
“I was wondering why you seem fine with serving Zeds, ma’am.” Will didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. He wouldn’t have a Beta losing her job because of him. Besides, if she did know and didn’t say, it would leave him feeling sour. If she didn’t know, it would only increase his curiosity and probably get him in trouble.
Marcy’s eyes softened, and her wrinkles deepened. When she spoke, her voice was subdued. “My baby girl was taken fr
om me to be a Zed. I don’t mind serving you because I hope, somewhere, my little Hope’s being taken care of too. You’ll find many of the Betas who work for Malcolm have had children taken away.”
“I’m sorry.” Will had heard of Beta women naming their Zed children in memorial. In actuality, Zeds were named at the government nursery facility or by the first Alpha who owned them. Guessing by Marcy’s age, Hope was likely an adult, probably in her thirties. Statistically, she was already dead or close to it. Will wondered whether Marcy knew, or if she really thought her Hope was still alive somewhere. Staring deep into Marcy’s eyes, past the twinkle and smile lines, he saw that she knew. She knew, and yet she held on to Hope. Will didn’t know whether to admire or pity her.
Marcy smiled as she shook her head. “Don’t be, child. Just be careful around the others. It’s a lot more recent for some.” Marcy glanced at Jessica at the other end of the table, who seemed to not hear them. “It can take a long time for those wounds to heal, and sometimes they never do.”
Will nodded. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Of course. Maybe it will help you understand things here a little better. We’re not naïve. We just like to try to make the world a little better in our own ways. Now eat up. You’re skinnier than a twig. Malcolm will think I’ve been shirking my duties if you don’t fatten up.” Marcy patted his shoulder and then sat next to Jessica to eat her own lunch.
Will doubted Malcolm would ever find out if he ate or not. Then again, the boys had mentioned something about Malcolm watching through security cameras. Privacy wasn’t something Will ever expected, but it was odd knowing a man he never saw watched him. The thought of his Alpha sitting in a room somewhere watching and never making an appearance was creepy. Everyone acting as though life at the compound were normal was equally creepy. Will didn’t let himself think for a minute that any of this was normal. They could play house all they wanted. Malcolm and the Betas could pretend all day long that Will and the other freaks weren’t Zeds, but they were. No amount of good food and nice treatment would ever change that. This place didn’t make the system right. The whole system was all fucked up no matter how it was whitewashed.
[In Distress 01.0] In Distress Page 4