“You have a purpose.”
“Oh, really? And what’s that? Fucking hardly constitutes a purpose.”
“I don’t mind it.” Malcolm turned in Will’s hold and smirked down at him. Will didn’t even smile. “But you also justify the existence of the library. I love that collection, but I don’t have time to spend there. You’re fulfilling a very important role in making sure the books don’t get lonely.” Malcolm picked up his shoes and carried them to the bed to put them on. Will sat next to him.
“See, if I helped you with your work, you would have more time, and you could go to the library yourself.”
“I’m afraid my days of reading for hours on end are over.”
“They don’t have to be.”
“I appreciate your intent, but it’s simply not possible.”
“Why not?”
“My business isn’t something you can help with.”
“You think I’m too stupid to be useful?”
“Of course not.” Malcolm didn’t want him to think that for even a second, but he also couldn’t give up this secret. The habit of keeping his business private from his Zeds was too ingrained.
“Then what is it?”
Will’s eyes told Malcolm that he didn’t believe his assertion that it didn’t have to do with Will’s level of intelligence. He had to fix this. “You shouldn’t feel like you need to work.”
“I don’t, Malcolm. I want to. I thought we’d established that.”
“If you knew what I did, you wouldn’t want to. Trust me.”
“How about you trust me to be able to make my own decisions? We’ve come so far, but you still refuse to tell me what business you’re in. I don’t care what it is. I care that you don’t trust me enough to share it with me.”
Malcolm didn’t think Will would say that if he knew. However, he did have a point. Malcolm wanted to keep his business separate from his personal life, but the secrecy hurt Will. Malcolm took nothing more seriously than Will’s well-being. When it came right down to it, the issue wasn’t his desire to keep Will separate from his work. It was the fear that Will would reject him once he found out what he did.
Nothing scared him more than the thought of going back to his life prior to Will. It would be too difficult now that he’d allowed his heart to thaw and let Will inside. Before Will had planted himself so firmly in Malcolm’s life, Malcolm would have had no trouble pushing him away and going back to the old status quo. Things were different now.
He had to change.
Loving Will meant trusting him. There was a very real chance that Will would turn away from him once he knew what his business was, but he had to trust that Will knew him well enough to see the truth of who he was. In the past, when he’d needed to trust Will, there hadn’t been much at risk. Before their relationship had developed and matured, Malcolm wouldn’t have lost much if Will despised him. For the first time, Malcolm wished his policy had been to tell his Zeds what business he was in from the beginning.
“You’re right.”
“Naturally.”
Malcolm’s lips lifted into a smile. The gesture was becoming more common to him. He hoped that wouldn’t change.
“I do trust you, but you can’t tell the others. Only Kaleana knows. It’s imperative that it stays that way for the well-being of the household.” Malcolm couldn’t believe he was even considering this.
“I don’t understand.”
“You will. Are you going to be fine with keeping it a secret? It might put you in an awkward position.”
Malcolm was glad to see Will pause and actually think about it instead of just offering the easy answer.
“I can do that. I assume your reasons for wanting me to are good.”
Malcolm took a deep breath. Better to just dive right in instead of dragging it out. If he stalled, it wouldn’t make it any easier, only more awkward. “I own Panacea, the medical supply company.”
A small gasp escaped Will’s lips. “As in the Med Machines?”
“Yes.” Malcolm saw the hurt in Will’s eyes, the knowledge that just across the divide, machines that could fix his leg in minutes were produced. He could leave it at that—a partial truth, providing the requested information while hiding what his company’s purpose was. But it wouldn’t work. There’d be no hiding the truth if Will pushed to work with him. Besides, it’d be a betrayal of trust. “We manufacture a wide range of products that are used in hospitals around New Cali, including the Eval Centers.”
Malcolm couldn’t help tensing. His body wouldn’t relax until he knew Will’s reaction.
“You mean like the serum?” Will’s entire body vibrated with a deathly seriousness.
“No, not at all. They do all that themselves.” Much to Malcolm’s irritation. “We make things like syringes, needles—”
“Oh, so just the things used to inject us all with that poison. What about the collars? Do you make those too?” Will’s voice escalated in volume. Hot fury leapt into his eyes as he stood.
“Only the metal structure. The Geneticists implant their own tech into them. They’re very protective of anything proprietary.”
“That must suck to not be able to supply them with every little thing. All that potential money lost.” Will sneered.
Malcolm tried not to take the words personally. He’d expected this. Will’s feelings were natural. If Malcolm were in his situation, he’d feel the same way. “I make more than enough money as it is. In fact, the Geneticists provide a very small part of the company’s profit. The vast majority comes from hospitals and various medical facilities.”
“Right, where the supplies will be of no help to Zeds, the people who need them most. Besides, I bet that business comes from the fact that you supply the Geneticists. A client list doesn’t get much more high profile than that.”
Smart man. Will’s intelligence often astounded Malcolm, not because he didn’t expect it, but because it struck at the most unexpected times. He didn’t think Will even knew how bright he was. “I understand if you’d like to discontinue our relationship in light of this. I wouldn’t blame you.”
That seemed to enrage Will even more.
“Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you? It would provide you with all the justification you need for keeping quiet about your work. ‘See, I knew the volatile Zed couldn’t handle the truth.’ Well you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
“I thought you were mad at me.”
“I am.”
“But you still want to work with me?”
“I don’t know, but I do know I damn well still love you against my better judgment. Was that the plan? Worm your way into my heart until I couldn’t stop loving you even if I wanted to?”
This conversation verged on the ridiculous. “There’s never been a grand plan. I keep it a secret because I always imagined it’d be disturbing to Zeds.”
“Kaleana knows. You trust her more than you trust me?”
“No, Will, that’s why I’m telling you now. You asked, and I trust you with the answer. Kaleana’s been around from the beginning. She knows I supply the Geneticists in order to facilitate doing greater good. You’re right that those contracts get me the rest of my customers, hospitals that serve Betas and Alphas.” She also knew why it had been this business in particular that he’d been interested in, but that secret wasn’t a matter of trust—it was a matter of safety.
“So this collar around my neck came from here?”
The pain in Will’s eyes stabbed at Malcolm. He supposed that was the real issue. For so long, Malcolm had represented respite from the world, and now Will was finding out that the very symbol of everything wrong in his life, the weight he literally carried around his neck every day, came from Malcolm as well. He was surprised Will was still in the same room as him.
“Yes. I know it did because my company’s the only one that produces them. I don’t like the need for them any more than you do.”
“No, but you profit off it.”
“Yes, because somebody has to. I like having this bit of control. I can’t change the fact that some people in this world have to wear collars, but I can make sure they’re made safely and to a quality that makes them as lightweight and comfortable as possible. I make next to nothing on them because I insist on a lighter metal than the Geneticists asked for.” It sounded pathetic even to his own ears.
“Is that true?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“You’ll have to forgive my mistrust. I never expected to find out the food I eat is paid for with money earned by helping the Geneticists or that the person who claims to love me works with my enemy.”
Malcolm rose, unable to sit still with all the emotions swirling in his stomach. “You think I like taking their money, Will? You think I like the fact that I produce Med Machines by the thousands but can’t use a single one on any of the people I love? Do you know how many times I’ve petitioned for an exemption under the pretense of research and testing? It’s one of the reasons I stayed away when I first bought you. I couldn’t stand to look at you and your leg, see you limp so obviously in pain, and know that I had the ability to help you and couldn’t. I nearly gave it all up and did it anyway, but Kaleana talked me down, reminded me that your leg would be fixed only to make it an easier walk for you to an execution room in the Eval Center. Why do you think my interrogation was longer than normal this year? Because they wanted to know why I kept petitioning to use a Med Machine on Zeds. I had to convince them that I felt nothing for any of you, that I keep you all to observe your suffering in order to better fabricate devices that would prevent the same suffering in Betas and Alphas. I had to tell the kind of lies that make me want to puke. I have to turn my heart to ice, not to protect myself, but because if I don’t, everyone I love will be tortured and killed. They’d make my death quick enough after forcing me to watch all of yours. I’ve been down that road before, Will. I’ve seen a Zed pulled apart like a fucking science experiment. It’s because of what I’ve seen that I am who I am. So you can believe whatever horrible things you want about me. They can’t be any worse than what I’ve thought about myself. But I won’t have you questioning my love for you or the others like you’re one of the damned Geneticists. They can make me say I don’t love you, but you can’t.”
His eyes were locked with Will’s. To his utter surprise, the furious flame had settled into something more akin to astonishment. “What?”
Will shook his head. “You. You’ll tell those lies to the Geneticists, lies that must hurt you deeply, but you won’t lie to me. You could have told me you did something boring like make those little nibs that go on the tip of a stylus, and I probably would have dropped it because who wants to do that? But instead, you tell me the truth, fully expecting me to stop loving you—which is a little insulting, by the way.”
Malcolm couldn’t help laughing. He needed the release from the tension. This morning had been one ridiculous thing from Will after another. “Nibs for a stylus?”
“Yeah. I always thought whoever made those must live a pretty boring life.”
Malcolm shook his head. He didn’t know what to think.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you’re in this business for the right reasons.”
“I am, Will. With all my heart, I’m trying to make the world a little better.”
“Then I believe you. That’s all you need say to me. I’m sorry I reacted so badly. I just never expected it.”
“I understand. I’m sorry for insulting you.”
“Yeah, about that. Tonight I’m going to have to show you exactly how unmovable my love is.”
“I look forward to it.” Malcolm kissed Will on the lips, restoring some of his lost equilibrium.
“So when do I start?”
“What?”
“Working for you. Don’t tell me I have to go through some sort of application process. I figure I’ve sucked up to the boss enough to warrant a pretty decent position.”
Malcolm chuckled. “I’d say so. You still want to work with me?”
“Of course. As long as I’m with you.”
“All right. We can get started as soon as I get back from these meetings. It’ll be after lunch sometime. I’ll message you.”
“I’ll have to pick out something nice to wear on my first day.”
Where had Will come from? Malcolm had never guessed he’d find someone like him in the dingy back room of Emporium. “How about you start with something to wear to breakfast? You’re going to be late.”
“Right, Boss.” Will nodded to him with a cheeky grin, gave him another kiss, and left to go change. It was about time Malcolm had him bring his clothes up here. The only time he ever slept in his own room was when Malcolm worked too late to spend time with him. He’d make some room in his closet.
In the car on the way to town, Malcolm could hardly believe his morning. Had that really happened? Or was he still in a dream, tucked in bed? An alert sounded on his Glass Tab. A message from Oculus. No, it wasn’t a dream. And he hadn’t told Will the whole truth about why he worked for the Geneticists.
31
Thirty-One
“Will, you want to play tennis today? Me and Rufus could take on you and Stu.”
Nick had coerced Will into playing tennis before. It’d been fun and not at all competitive, just hitting the ball around. They made sure not to put Will in a situation in which he’d have to dash for the ball and potentially hurt himself. It was nice and a little annoying at the same time, but it didn’t matter because today was Will’s first full day working with Malcolm.
“Maybe some other time.”
“S-s-see st-st-stop trying to get us to play stupid sports. Will would rather pl-pl-play virtual games with me.”
True, but Will didn’t know how to reply. He didn’t think Malcolm would like him blurting out that they worked together now.
“Actually, Will’s with me today.”
That took care of the problem. Will had expected questions from the others, especially Stu, but he realized that he and Malcolm had been spending a lot of time together lately, and it wasn’t unusual. None of them realized that today was any different than the days they snuck up to the loft.
After Malcolm had returned from his meetings yesterday, there’d only been time to set up Will’s desk in Malcolm’s office before dinner. Will was anxious to find out exactly what he’d be doing. Malcolm’s business still bothered Will, and a part of him wanted nothing to do with it, but he couldn’t make his decisions based on anger. He trusted Malcolm. That trust had proved to be well founded, and he needed to rely on it and not let his hatred of everything to do with the Geneticists prevent him from helping and spending time with Malcolm. Besides, Malcolm’s revelations had floored him. He knew Malcolm was always watching out for them, but he hadn’t thought his devotion extended to blatantly trying to get around the restriction on medical services to Zeds. Will had said it before: Malcolm’s selflessness would get him in trouble one day.
After breakfast, he followed Malcolm and Kaleana to the large office across from Malcolm’s room. It had plenty of space for a desk for each of them with room to spare.
“So, now what?”
“I’ve got some messages to catch up on. Kaleana will get you started while I’m busy.”
Will tried to hide his disappointment. He knew this would be actual work and not just more time together, but that hadn’t stopped him from hoping.
“First off, thanks for doing this. I have no idea how you convinced him to go against all laws of nature and actually allow one of his Zeds to know about his business and work with him, but this will be a big help.”
“I heard that, Kaleana. There’s no reason for any of them to work. And Will’s powers of persuasion are for me alone.”
Will knew he was teasing, but a little thrill shot through him at his last sentence.
“I never thought I’d see the day he’d actually tell one of you what he does. I know his re
asons, but I don’t agree with them. We’re really trying to do good work.”
“I know. That’s why I’m here.”
“You’re here because you somehow think this means more sex for you.”
“I thought you were busy, Malcolm.” Kaleana glared over her shoulder in the direction of Malcolm’s desk. “This will only reduce your workload if you stop being distracted by him and let us work.” She turned back to Will. “The plan is to have you take on a lot of the tasks I do now, so I can focus on managing the household and residential side of the compound. You’ll also take on some of Malcolm’s work to free him up for other things. Which, if the last weeks are any indication, will most definitely include sex. He’s been slacking since you two practically moved in together.”
“That sounds like a plan I can get behind. What exactly am I going to be doing?”
“A lot of administrative stuff: sorting messages, running reports, analyzing trends.”
“Aren’t there laws against having Zeds do this kind of stuff?” Will wasn’t worried about getting caught, but he needed to know exactly how secretive he needed to be.
“No. The DGI monitors all Zed leases to make sure Alphas aren’t using Zeds for jobs that should be going to Betas. There’s substantial leeway, especially since Malcolm wouldn’t trust anyone other than one of his Zeds with this work, so it’s not taking a job from a Beta. Given how many Betas Malcolm employs, it’s not an issue. A lot of Alphas use their companion Zeds as personal assistants. None of yours did?”
“I never had an Alpha who did anything resembling work before.”
“Ah, old money will do that. All right, let me show you the messages first.” Kaleana pulled up an inbox on Will’s screen and showed him how to sort all the messages to the correct departments, how to tell what needed to go to Malcolm, and which people wanted to go to Malcolm but could actually be answered by himself or Kaleana, and so on.
After that, she showed him the daily, weekly, and monthly reports they ran on everything from production to shipping to profit and expenses. “While reports are running, you can also scour patent filings. Once the Geneticists go through and cherry-pick the ones they want, they’re posted to the government’s site. We want to look for any filing by an Alpha that could be a threat to us and any by Betas that might help us. Betas come up with most of the good stuff and then get dazzled by an offer from an Alpha, usually selling it for much less than it’s actually worth. We’ve gotten some good tech that way, like the process we use for the collars.” Kaleana pulled up the site on Will’s computer and saved it.
[In Distress 01.0] In Distress Page 24