by Jodi Thomas
Josh pulled away as the steps neared. “Bolt your door,” he answered in haste, as Rachel appeared at the door of Mariah’s room.
Alarm showed in the older woman’s eyes as she whispered, “There’s a man downstairs and he’s demanding to see you, Mr. Weston. I think there’s some trouble at the mine.”
Josh ran toward the hallway with Bethanie only a step behind him. She stood on the stairs as he greeted the dirt-covered young stranger. She forced Josh’s last words, and the hurt they bore, to the back of her mind as she concentrated on the conversation below.
The young man’s speech was coming in rapid gulps, telling of his long ride and of his fear. “There’s been an explosion, Boss. Down in shaft three. Most of the men were already gone home when it blew. The few left say they ain’t goin’ down there.” He stopped to breathe, and Bethanie saw his eyes enlarge as Cain entered from the kitchen. The stranger quickly turned back to Josh. “They say all the charges might not have exploded. I didn’t know what to do, so I just came after you.”
“You did right.” Josh’s voice was reassuring, but his movements were swift. He grabbed his hat and raincoat and started toward the door.
“Wait!” Bethanie cried. “I’m going with you.”
Josh swung around as if he couldn’t believe his ears. Passion still touched his eyes, but his voice was cold. “No, Bethanie, you stay here. I’ll be back before morning.”
Bethanie hurried down the last few steps, unafraid of his raised eyebrow and wrinkled forehead. “Rachel, get that brown bag out of the pantry. Cain, saddle Twilight for me.” She looked straight into Josh’s eyes. “I’m going with you, Josh Weston, and there is no way you are going to stop me.”
“Why?” Josh asked as all the people around him ran to do her bidding. “What are you trying to prove, Bethanie?”
“I’m not trying to prove anything. If there are men hurt, I can do a fair job of doctoring.”
“But the mine is no place for a woman.” Josh’s intelligent eyes were studying her. He did not miss the changes in her self-confidence or in the touch of authority in her voice.
“If you’re there, I will be there, also.” She wanted to add that she would never again hide from danger while someone she loved died, but he might not understand. Finally the only sensible answer she could think of came out. “Because I own half of that mine.”
Her words hit Josh like a slap. His dark eyes turned mahogany-hard as he stepped away. “Is that why you came here, to tell me I now have a partner?’
Bethanie resented his cold words. Couldn’t he see that if men were hurt at the mine she could be a great help? Didn’t he realize she was not the girl he had left behind three years ago? She had nursed men after cattle stampedes and Indian attacks. Well, if her owning part of the mine blurred his vision, so be it. “Yes,” she nodded as she put her coat around her shoulders and took the bag from Rachel. “And not a silent partner. Where you go…I go.”
Josh opened the door in an exaggerated gesture. “Then by all means, Mrs. Weston, let’s go.”
They rode through the night in silence, mud muffling even the sound of hooves on the path. Bethanie wished she had told Josh about Ben’s will from the first, but it hadn’t seemed that important. Now, he thought she was coming with him because of the mine. How could she tell him that it was him she could not leave in danger? She’d made up her mind the second she’d seen the fear in the young miner’s face. She wouldn’t wait in safety only to learn of Josh’s death. If he died, it would be in her arms. Somehow, when this was over, she would make him understand. He might have told her to bolt her door from him, but she had no intention of doing so. The only thing that would turn her from him was his cold arms, and she’d seen too much fire in his eyes to believe he could ever turn her away.
As they dismounted at the mine entrance, Josh made no effort to assist her. He seemed to be pointedly ignoring her presence as he strode to the group of miners clustered around a fire. The night was so dark, and the crowd of men seemed like ghosts floating in the blackness.
The men, covered with rich black dirt, opened their circle to Josh, but their voices bore no welcome. The small campfire cast frightening shadows across their faces as they complained. Bethanie stepped silently behind Josh.
“We ain’t taking a chance of there being more explosions,” one man with massive shoulders shouted.
Josh pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, men, I left orders for everyone to stay out of shaft three until tomorrow. I was with Jackson when he laid the charges.”
A cruel sound of hard laughter came from another miner. “Jackson is one of the fools who went down. Nothin’ came up but dust and noise.”
“But why, Blade?’ Josh looked at the man who had just laughed.
“He’s hungry for that bonus.” The man shrugged. “You had a good idea to offer us a piece of any new strike, but some men take crazy risks for enough money.”
Josh cursed under his breath. “How many men went down with him?” Again his question was directed at the man he had called Blade.
“Four we think. We were all quitting for the day when they went down. The only reason some of us were still around when the shaft blew was ’cause we were waiting for the rain to let up.”
Josh nodded as he pulled off his rain slicker. “Who’ll go down with me? If they’re alive, they’ll be out of air by morning.”
All the men seemed to back away a step except Blade, who crossed his chest with massive arms. “Four, maybe five fools already down there. Ain’t no amount of money going to make us go.”
“Look,” Josh tried to reason. “I know where the charges are. All I need is someone who can hold a good light while I pull them out. Then we can dig through the cave-in.”
“You get them charges out, and we’ll help with the digging,” Blade answered, and the others nodded in silent agreement.
Josh grabbed a lantern. “Who’ll hold the light for me?’ he asked as the men seemed to move back another step. “Damn it, men, we’ve got to try and help them.” Still no one moved.
He jerked with surprise as a hand reached from behind him and molded around his fingers as he gripped the handle of the lantern. A golden band carved like the one he always wore glittered in the light. “I’ll be right behind you,” Bethanie whispered. “I can hold a light.”
A rumble went through the crowd of men. Josh turned to face her. His features were in shadows, but she could feel his anger. There was no time to argue and no one else to go with him. She knew if he waited much longer, the chances of finding any men alive would be lost.
Josh nodded as the men mumbled in disbelief that a woman would go into the mine. “After you, Mrs. Weston,” Josh said, and heard gasps from several miners.
They moved through the dark hole, the lantern shedding light in a small circle around them. Josh clasped Bethanie’s hand as they inched downward.
“Follow the tracks made by the ore carts, and stay between them. The ground is flat, and there’s fewer rocks to stumble over.”
“I’ve been in a mine before when I was a child. I don’t mind the cold as much as the dark. I can take care of myself.”
“You’ve been telling me that since we met. You’d think that I’d finally start to believe you.” He turned a corner and the light flickered.
“The lantern won’t go out, will it?’ Bethanie asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking.
Josh squeezed her fingers. “I’d forgotten how you hate the darkness.” He seemed to be piecing facts together in his mind. “You hate the blackness, yet you came in here with me. No half-interest in a mine drove you. You’re afraid to leave my side. Afraid I’ll die on you like Ben did.” He drew a long breath as he pulled her closer. “And if I do?”
“Then we die together,” Bethanie answered without hesitation.
“You’re a complicated woman, Bethanie Weston. I may just have to stay alive a little longer to figure you out.” He knelt beside a pile
of rocks. “But first, I’m going to take out these explosives.”
Bethanie held the lantern high as he worked, dismantling first one charge then the next. Finally they reached a blocked passageway, and Bethanie knew they were at the cave-in. Josh hammered into the rock pile, then listened. A faint sound came from the other side. He stripped off his shirt and began frantically digging. Bethanie flung her coat aside and pulled her hair back with her scarf. She knew she could only lift the smaller rocks, but she had to help. The thought of men trapped only a few feet away in total darkness sent cold chills up her spine.
After several minutes, Bethanie touched Josh’s shoulder to silence his movement. She heard noises behind her, and turned to see Blade and several men.
Blade stormed forward. “We came to help dig. We figure if a man ain’t afraid to bring his woman down here, we’d be downright yellow to hold back.”
Josh straightened and winked at Bethanie. He wiped his forehead with his bandanna and stepped aside as others took his place.
Bethanie watched in wonder as the men moved the wall aside. A passage enlarged, and a shout rang out from both sides of the cave-in. Slowly the miners pulled their co-workers through the opening. Each, as if being reborn, cried and shouted with joy. The man named Jackson had a cut on his arm, but respectfully declined when she offered to treat his wound.
Josh slung his arm around her shoulder and brushed her hair lightly with a kiss as the men headed out. “You’re quite a miner, Mrs. Weston. Better watch it, or the men will make a legend out of you tonight.”
Bethanie could think of nothing to say. She didn’t want to be a legend; she only wanted to help. Moving closer, she took comfort in his strong body beside her as they climbed out of the tunnel.
When they stepped into the open air, Blade was standing in front of the men. Most were mounted up, ready to head home, but they all seemed waiting for Blade to speak.
“Mrs. Weston.” The huge man seemed suddenly shy. “The men and me would just like to thank you for what you did. We should’ve known the boss’s lady would be brave. When we all seen your hand on that lantern and you wearing a ring just like the one that never gets off the boss’s finger, there weren’t no question who you was. We’re mighty proud you’re here.”
Bethanie realized they all thought she was married to Josh. As she opened her mouth to correct Blade, Josh pulled her close. “I’m glad she’s here, too, men. Now, let’s all get some sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning.”
The men nodded and moved away, but Josh held her fast to his side. As the last man vanished into the night, Josh turned back toward the mine. “I wanta show you something before we head back.”
Bethanie lifted the lantern.
“We won’t need that, we’re only going a few feet.” Josh took the lantern from her hand and pulled her into the entrance. “I need to do something before we get back to the house, where you seem surrounded with protectors.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Do I need protection?” she asked.
“Most assuredly,” Josh answered as he jerked her hair free from the scarf. “I plan on finishing that kiss I started in the nursery.”
Bethanie made no protest. She leaned against the cold wall of the mine. Josh’s lips searched across her face to find her waiting mouth. His kiss grew deep as his fingers moved through her hair.
Finally he pulled away and whispered, “I swore I’d stop with a kiss, Bethanie. God, I burn with a fever for you, and the moment I seek to quench it, I find myself on fire.”
Bethanie couldn’t have put her thoughts into words. She’d longed for his touch all her life, and to have pushed him away would have been impossible. She moved her fingers slowly across his bare shoulder and into his thick hair. “I want you,” she whispered honestly.
“No!” Josh muttered as she drew his mouth down to her lips. “No, Bethanie, we must stop.” Though his words were negative, his entire body spoke of his need for her.
She could hear him saying her name as he brushed her lips, with his kiss. His hands followed her movements as she pulled her coat open in the blackness. She drew his mouth closer with one hand as she guided his fingers across her breasts. His touch circled over her mounds, setting fire to her even through her clothes. She let her fingers glide over his chest. His kiss deepened until the world began to spin around her. All the nights he’d been without her seemed to cry out in the darkness as he molded her to him, demanding and begging at the same time.
Josh pushed her against the cold wall of the mine as his body molded to her soft form. His breathing was rapid as he spread himself over her, pulling her hands out to the sides so he could feel every inch of her against him. She could feel the damp wall at her back and his warm lean body before her. He slid one leg between her thighs as his mouth took her lips savagely. She made no protest, but openly accepted his demanding body. Buttons flew in the darkness as he pulled her blouse open and pushed her camisole from her shoulders. His hand moved slowly down her neck and between her breasts. Bethanie cried out in joy as his rough hand pushed the cotton away from her waiting nipples. His mouth moved like liquid fire down her throat to her breasts. He pulled at her clothes recklessly, trying to feel more of her against his bare chest.
“Josh,” she whispered. “Josh, my love.”
Josh’s voice was slow with passion. “Do you want me, Bethanie? Does your body cry for me the way my soul has cried for you every night for three years?”
“Please, Josh, please love me.”
Josh’s fingers moved along her flesh. “Love you…or satisfy you?” His mouth came down hard against her lips. Bethanie pushed away, but his kiss demanded response. He was being cruel, and she knew he was punishing himself more than her. She stopped struggling and accepted his harsh loving even as he bruised her flesh and lips.
Suddenly Josh pulled away. “Stop me, Bethanie. Don’t let me hurt you.” There was pain in his words.
Bethanie reached and cupped his face with her hands. “I can’t; I never could.”
Josh’s lips returned to her mouth with great tenderness. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair. His fingers slowly moved over her body erasing any pain he might have caused. She welcomed this gentle loving as she had welcomed the other loving, with all her heart.
Josh gently pushed her from him. His voice became raspy with passion. “We must stop. I’ll not take you on the floor of this mine. I’ll not.”
Bethanie stood back confused. Had she been too forward? She knew even now as he moved away that if she touched him, he would come to her again. He hadn’t spoken of love. Why was it she could always manage to do what was right and proper, except where Josh was concerned? With him there had never been caution. There was never a slow time or indecision. He was as much a part of her as her own limbs. To deny him would have been to disown herself. Yet, he’d told her to bolt him out, and now he pulled away.
An hour later, Bethanie fell exhausted into her bed. Josh hadn’t spoken on the ride back and had left her at the door while he took care of the horses. She’d not been ashamed to love him years ago, and she wasn’t ashamed now. Josh must have told her to bolt the door because he questioned the feelings he had for her. He didn’t even want the housekeeper or Cain to know that he loved her. Or was it only lust? Had it always been only physical on his part? For the first time since she married Ben, Bethanie felt dirty. Dirty like she felt when people had yelled names at her and her mother.
She tried to sleep, but his words kept echoing in her mind. She could hear Josh pacing in the next room. The rest of the house was quiet with sleep, but still he paced. A slow rain pattered on her window, and still Josh paced. Finally the dull rhythm lulled her to sleep.
The fire in her bedroom had died down low when Bethanie’s dream returned. She was running, running from the shouts. Fighting her way through the darkness. She heard her mother scream. Then she was falling into the darkness.
Josh’s voice pulled her back from the nightmare. �
�Bethanie, Bethanie,” he whispered. “Are you all right?”
Bethanie opened her eyes to see him standing above her. His hair was tossed and he wore only pants. There was no sign that he’d been asleep. He leaned closer, wiping the cold sweat from her forehead.
“I had a nightmare,” Bethanie answered. Then, unable to hide her honesty, she shook her head. “I’ve always been afraid to be alone at night.”
Josh pulled her to him with a low moan. “You’re not alone, darling. I’m right here.”
“But…you don’t want me.” Bethanie fought the tears. “You told me to bolt my door.”
Josh laughed as he turned her face toward an open space between her room and his. “I knew I could use a secret panel if you needed me. I put one in the wall between the rooms when I moved in, just like the sliding wall at the hotel in San Antonio. I guess I was hoping someday you would just appear again. I was planning to tell you about it when Rachel interrupted us earlier.” He pulled away, but his hands still rested on her shoulders. “I was determined not to come to your room tonight, but when I heard you crying in your sleep, I couldn’t stay away.”
Bethanie brushed his dark hair from his forehead. Her gentle action brought pain to his deep mahogany eyes. “Why, Josh? Why do you push me away? Why were you so cruel in the mine?”
Josh stood and turned his back to her. She could see his hard muscles, golden in the firelight. His words were low and deep with pain. “Because I can’t even look at you without wanting you. I’m afraid if you knew how much I need you, it would frighten you away forever. I don’t think I could live if I lost you again.
“Then you do want me?” Bethanie asked as she climbed from the bed and stood beside him.
“No, I don’t want you, Bethanie. It went far beyond that the moment I touched you at the spring. I need you, as a dying man needs absolution.” He turned and his eyes were filled with longing. “I need you not for just the nights, but for the mornings as well. Without you I’m hollow, incomplete.”